Why Am I Unhappy- 12 Reasons Why You Feel This Way and 18 Tips For you

The World Happiness Report shows that negative feelings among people are rising worldwide, with the United States being the most affected.

Many of us, if not all of us, have found ourselves in low moments when everything seems meaningless. Others may be looking happy and enjoying life, but for you, you feel empty and helpless.

What is that making you unhappy?

You will get to know why you don’t have a happy life and how you can overcome that feeling.

☀ 12 Reasons why you feel unhappy ☀

1. Comparing yourself with others

In the 21st century, competition is high. This is because people have embraced capitalist societies.

People are competing for salaries, achievements, and the things they own in this life.

Also, social media and advancements in technologies have made us compare ourselves with those around us. For instance, when your friend buys a new car, you also want to buy yours.

All these lead to individualism and competition among ourselves. We focus more on self-growth, and we are likely to disconnect from other people.

As a result, we become lonely in search of wealth and things that will outdo others. In the end, we become unhappy people.

2. Focusing on the past and future events

What has happened to you in the past? Maybe you lost your leg or a well-paying job?

If you keep looking back and dwelling on the negative events in your life, you are likely to become unhappy.

Also, you may be anxious about your future, probably because of your current status. For example, if you don’t have a job, you may be worried about taking care of your family.

As a result, you may end a bitter person because your future is not that promising based on your current situation. Besides, it steals the own happiness you could be enjoying.

3. Surrounding yourself with negative people

As the saying goes, you are who you surround yourself with. Therefore, the kind of people you associate yourself with affects your life.

If you relate with people who believe that it is hard to make it in their career, you will likely have the same mentality. Also, if you are surrounded by people who are always angry, you will be a replica of their behavior.

Hence, if your friends are full of negativity in this life, you will likely buy their negative feelings into your life, making you unhappy.

4. Isolating yourself

Human beings are naturally social creatures because they depend on each other for survival.

However, in the present world, where you can interact with a person despite their geographical location, we have become more lonely and depressed compared to the days of face-to-face interactions.

People have become more self-centered and hence lack the interest to cultivate quality relationships with others.

This has resulted in loneliness and has stolen the real happiness of a great relationship.

5. Use of alcohol and drugs

‘But alcohol and drugs activate my mood?’ Yes, they make you happy and forget about your burden, but only for a short time and you are back to your unhappy life.

People have run into alcohol and other drugs to deal with their negative emotions, not knowing they make their lives unhappy.

These things not only bring unhappiness to your life, but they also affect your mental health. Besides, you might fall into addiction after frequent use.

Remember, it takes a few minutes to smoke that bhang, but it can cost your entire life. It is challenging to come out of drugs once you start using them.

6. Envy

How do you feel when your close friend relocates to a bigger house than yours? Are you happy for them, or have you become jealous?

Envy could be stealing your happiness because you feel bad when others achieve what you can’t.

Also, social media is making people envious when they see others doing well them. The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is making many go through moments of low self-esteem.

Besides, jealous makes us feel unaccomplished because we are behind what others have achieved. As a result, we look down on ourselves.

7. Fatigue

Most people spend hours glued on their screen or seated behind their office desks to earn a living. As a result, the body and the mind become exhausted by the end of the day.

Even when your body is not engaged much, we get fatigued from remaining at the same potion the whole day. On the other hand, the mind has to think through the projects at hand, leaving you restless.

Other people also find themselves working countless hours to meet the demands of the current standards of living.

8. Attaching happiness to material things or experience

You could be wondering, ‘Why am I unhappy?’

In the present moments, people have attached happiness with material possessions such as bungalows, billions in bank accounts, acres of land, and real estate.

Others think that new experiences such as going for holidays in outside countries can bring happiness to their lives. As a result, they aren’t happy people since they haven’t achieved all these.

They feel sad when they don’t get opportunities to get more money in their bank account.

Material wealth and experiences can make you happy but for a moment. Besides, they can fade away within a few minutes.

9. Holding on to anger and negativity

‘My close friends betrayed me’ maybe that is your current situation right now. But you cannot hold on to that in your everyday life: you need to move on.

People have been done worse than your case, and they have let go.

You cannot have peace when you keep holding to the negative things that were done to you in the past. You will keep on blaming them and finding reseasons to live unhappily.

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10. Worrying about things you cannot control

Sometimes, we go through chronic happiness due to things we cannot control.

For example, worrying about how your child will handle their first day in school is uncontrollable. You cannot go to school and stay there the entire day to watch over them. You have to leave them and allow them to adapt to the new environment.

Yes, you can spend a few moments thinking about what the future holds but don’t get stuck there because it will make you anxious.

Also, control your own thoughts and stop imagining terrible situations. Be hopeful that tomorrow will be greater than today.

11. Neglecting your mental health

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety cause unhappiness in most people. This is because you don’t have peace within you.

Besides, unsolved mental problems make people feel low, and they find nothing to be happy about.

Most of these issues are caused by undealt pain or anger from previous negative situations such as rape. They can make you dwell in anger and negative feelings for many days.

12. Failing to pursue your dreams and passions

Most people are leaving unfulfilled lives because they are in the wrong careers.

For example, your parents may want you to be a teacher, yet you want to be a journalist. Hence you pursue what your parents wish to instead of what you want you like.

This can make you live a miserable life because your heart is not into what you are doing. Instead, you are pleasing others instead of leaving on what brings you happiness.

❣ 18 Tips if you feel unhappy ❣

Feeling unhappy is not wrong, but dwelling on it can cost you happiness.

You need to figure out how you can become happy because life without joy is miserable.

Here are 18 tips that can help you deal with unhappy emotions;

1. Accept you are feeling unhappy

The first step to dealing with negative thoughts is to accept that feeling. Also, do not feel bad about it.

A study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2017 shows ‘individuals who accept rather than judge their mental experiences may attain better psychological health, in part because acceptance helps them experience less negative emotion in response to stressors.’

Therefore, accept that you feel unhappy to help you reduce stress.

Also, do not blame yourself but rather see it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and heal completely.

2. Pinpoint what is making you unhappy

What is making you feel unhappy in your life? Is it the missed chances, betrayal from friends, or physical pain due to sickness?

Sometimes, it is easy to know what is making you unhappy such as being laid off from work, but at other times you may not know what exactly is causing it.

When you cannot tell the cause of unhappiness, journal how you feel-take a pen, and write for about five minutes without stopping. It will help you to express your emotions and what could be bringing you down.

3. Embrace a healthy lifestyle

Taking care of your physical health can help you become happier in life. It makes your body relax and reduces the stress you may be expressing.

One of the best self-care practices is to have enough sleep. Despite the tight work schedule and other commitments that lead to decreased energy levels, ensure that you take enough rest. Sleep for at least 7 hours a day to allow your mind and body to relax.

Also, take healthy meals to build your immunity. These foods help your body fight against anxiety and other mental disorders. Avoid eating unhealthy snacks all the time because they cause diseases that lead to unhappiness.

4. Enjoy yourself

What makes you happy? You have a precious life to make the best out of it. Therefore, you need to find something that makes you happy to pull through each day.

Find fun activities such as swimming, watching movies, or visiting the park to activate your positive moods. Engage in such whenever you feel unhappy to overcome that feeling.

Besides, pursue what you love. In terms of career, go for a course or job that you like to make you happy. It will help you to enjoy life and avoid frequent negative feelings.

5. Speak out

The times you feel unhappy are the times you need your close friends. People who will listen to you and offer solutions to what you are passing through.

Therefore, when you feel low, do not lock yourself in the house. Instead, call your true friends or family members and tell them what you are going through.

When you pour yourself out, you are likely to feel relieved and reduce the stress you may be going through. Don’t feel depressed on your own when the other person can walk with you.

6. Be positive

It can be challenging to be positive when you are unhappy, but you can try.

Thinking positively helps you overcome negative thoughts.

Stop focusing on the missed opportunities in the past and start focusing on any arising chance.

Besides, avoid putting your energy into what life has been in the past and be hopeful that tomorrow will be brighter.

When you start to be positive, you can have the best life ever in this world. This is because your mind will not entertain negative energy from your past mistakes or failure.

7. Work on your self-esteem

Low self-esteem is something that can steal your real happiness for years.

To work on your self-esteem, you need to understand what makes you feel low. Is it that you are not happy about your height, or probably you have a disability?

Once you have established the cause, you will appreciate yourself the way you are and live life like other people.

Besides, it will help you overcome the bad feeling you might be having towards yourself.

8. Let go of the fear

Sometimes we go through chronic unhappiness because we have a fear of what the future holds for us.

For example, you wonder how you will pay your kids’ school fees, yet you do not have a job? or have tried several marriages, and none is working out.

Such situations can create fear in you and make you unhappy.

However, you can let go of the fear and focus on your present moments. Be grateful for what you have and be hopeful for the next day.

Do not spend all your time thinking about tomorrow and imagining terrible things happening.

9. Do exercise

Whenever you feel unhappy, it would be best to exercise a few times a week. You can jog around the compound or do some press-ups.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes each time. It will help your body relax, and your brain produces endorphins, which will naturally make you happier.

Besides, exercising helps your body to become more fit and flexible.

10. Be grateful

When you feel unhappy because of the things happening to you, you are likely not to see anything to be grateful for.

However, one of the best ways to overcome unhappiness is to remind yourself to be thankful for the little things, such as the breath.

Being grateful will help you to remain positive in times of storm. It will help you see the big picture of life.

It will help you appreciate that you may be low at the present moment, but things can change at any time and become better.

11. Surround yourself with positive people

Who are the people you spend most of your time with?

What is their mentality towards life? Have they given upon, or do they hope for brighter days?

You are likely to think the same way despite the low feeling when you have optimistic company around you.

They will syke you up and help you avoid feeling helpless. You will be able to realize that life is a journey with ups and downs.

12. Interact with nature

The world is full of beautiful things that we can easily see, touch, smell, feel and hear.

Also, a study done in 2019 shows that spending 120 minutes a week walking around your neighborhood or exploring your local park enhances your well-being.

It makes your mind and body relax and hence releases the unhappy feelings in you.

Besides, getting outdoors to enjoy nature calms your nervousness down as you gaze at the beauty of your environment.

Therefore, plan to spend more time on nature around you when you feel down to become happier.

13. Stay within your limit

What have you bought because your friend has it? Do you necessarily need it, or do you want to compete with them?

Sometimes we become unhappy because we are trying to copy others. As a result, we spend our resources on things not necessary in our lives.

It is crucial to focus on your life and stay within your limit for your happiness.

Spend as much or as little as you can afford. Do not land into depts because you want to please the world.

14. Meditate

If you cannot find joy in your life, meditation can help you out.

Sit down in a quiet place and do some breathing exercises regularly. It will help you to release negative emotions.

As a result, you will find calmness and peace within you.

15. Mingle with others

When we are unhappy, we tend to lock ourselves in the house. We don’t have a reason to form healthy relationships with other people.

However, when you feel upset, you need others the most to avoid overthinking, which in turn causes stress and depression.

Therefore, go outside when you are not happy, hang out with friends, or connect with your family. It is essential for your well-being because you will have a chance to speak out about making you unhappy.

16. Set realistic goals

Maybe you are unhappy because you didn’t achieve your goals in your workplace or school.

To deal with this unhappiness, set realistic goals for your next academic year. It will help you hit the target and hence make you happy.

Besides, setting achievable goals allows you not to feel guilty because you are sure you will make it without straining.

17. Build your mental resilience

Mental resilience is key to your peace and joy. It is the ability to adapt to life tasks despite the challenges that come on your way.

One of the best ways to improve your mental resilience is to stop multitasking. For example, do not start every business that pops up in the market; instead, focus on what you are good at to avoid disappointment.

Also, focus on one thing at a time. It will help you to put your effort and strength into something that will be fruitful.

As a result, you will not end up unhappy because you have done your best.

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18. Ask for help

When you have tried all the above tips, and nothing seems to be working, seeking professional help could be the only thing remaining.

Sometimes, feeling low and unhappy for a prolonged period can be a sign of clinical depression. In this case, you need the attention of mental health professional.

👣 Steps to Being Less Miserable and find happiness 👣

When we feel miserable, we don’t want to talk to anyone. All we want is to sleep all day without eating or bathing. At the same time, we do not know where to run to or who to turn to.

But we have had to come out of this situation because we have a precious life ahead. You can pull through such a period and be happy using these simple steps;

● Recognize the source of misery

What is making you miserable? Is it a broken marriage or the loss of a loved one?

When you know exactly what is making you feel low, it becomes easier to deal with it.

You will be able to find a solution to your broken family by forgiving your partner and starting your life again. As a result, you will reduce stress and enjoy your daily life.

On the other hand, you may become more stressed when you do not understand what is causing your misery, leading to depression.

● Learn to forgive

Another step that can help you deal with misery is forgiving. You may be feeling bad because someone wronged you.

Forgiving is not easy and takes time and courage. However, when you forgive and let go, you will experience peace and joy.

You may not face the person directly to forgive them, but you can write down in a letter and keep it. Besides, you can imagine what it would be to let go of the burden in you.

Forgiveness helps us feel relieved, and our happiness will improve dramatically. Therefore, do not hold to grudges for years; instead, forgive.

● Understand that change is inevitable

Sometimes we feel miserable because something in our lives has changed.

For example, one of your parents passes away, and you have to cope leaving with the other, or you have relocated to a new environment where you have no friend or relative.

Life must keep changing, and we have to adapt to these new currents.

It is okay to feel bad because something has changed but do not focus on it for so long. Instead, learn how to cope with the new environment to have happiness in life.

● Show yourself compassion

In that deep valley of sadness and disappointment, you need to talk to yourself in kindness.

Tell your soul that it will be well, and with time you will build your own happiness.

Besides, you may not have someone to show you empathy during those moments, but you have one person who can do it, that is, you.

Therefore choose to be kind to yourself when things are tough to find happiness. Encourage yourself and have confidence that it is for a moment and things will be better soon.

● Be happy when possible

Your happiness is not tied to someone or something. Therefore, any time you find a reason to be happy, be happy even when you have challenges.

No one was born to live a miserable life, hence, realizing that wanting to be happy is not wrong.

If you find something that makes you laugh, do it, dear!

Do not let what you are passing through in life steal your joy all the time. Enjoy even in the dark days of your life.

● Believe in yourself

Sometimes we lose our self-worth because we do not believe in ourselves. We doubt our strengthens, and hence we remain downcasted.

For example, you might have seen a job advert in your area of expertise, but you don’t believe you can get the position.

If you want to be less miserable and be happy in this life, you have to up your self-esteem game.

Be confident in who you are despite the weakness you have. Do not sit down and focus on what you lack; instead, utilize your abilities.

● Look for the positive

The world is full of positive things despite the negative ones that pop up in our lives. Hence, it would be best to put your mind and heart into the positive to have happiness.

You will indeed find someone or something that will discourage you, but that should not make you miserable.

Be optimistic in life, set your goals and mini-goals, and get out of your comfort zone and actively work on them.

When you have a positive mentality, you are likely to go far compared to when you focus on the negative feelings you may experience once in a while.

● Nurture healthy relationships

When you have the right people around you, you will become happier.

On the other hand, let go of an unhealthy relationship because it will drain you and lead you to misery.

It is crucial to allow people who share your success and failure into your life instead of those who keep pointing fingers at you.

Besides, your real friends will help you overcome trying moments that may be letting you down.

● Be physically active

If you want to do away with the negative emotions that make you miserable, do some exercise.

When your body is active, it releases the bad feelings you are experiencing. You can do exercise on your own or enroll in gym classes.

This will go a long way to help you become happier and live the best life you have always wanted.

● Take care of your spiritual well-being

Sometimes we pay less attention to our religious practice.

But do you know joining a spiritual group can help you have happiness? This is because you will connect with people who will encourage you.

Besides, spiritual practices like prayer and meditation can help you find peace and comfort during trying moments.

Therefore, be in the habit of growing your spiritual life to find meaning in life and realize that you can push through dark moments.

● Stop pleasing others

Being a people pleaser can make your life miserable. This is because you will have to do what others want from you even if it doesn’t align with your life principles.

Therefore, stop focusing on others and concentrate on what makes you better every day. It will help you find happiness and fulfill your life purpose.

Also, when you do not put your effort into what others say about you, we will pursue your dreams and passion.

Don’t move into a new house or buy a new car to please your friends or compete with them. Live according to your standards to avoid misery.

● Stop focusing on little things

Sometimes we put all our energy into little things in life, and we fail to see the big picture of life. One day you will be gone, and people will continue living.

When you are no more, your fears will mean nothing. Therefore, spending all your time and energy thinking about little things will steal your joy.

Instead, focus on your present and live a day at a time.

● Help others

When you have the big picture of life, you will realize that you need others. As a result, you will find pleasure in helping them.

Happy people are the first to lend a hand to those in need because they know it makes them feel good.

Besides, when you help others, you will strengthen your social networks. Hence, you find at least one person to rescue you when you are in need.

It could be you are not in a position to help in significant ways, but the little you can do is worth it. Besides, there are different ways to touch others apart from material support.

❒ Signs of unhappiness ❒

Do you suspect that you could be upset by something or someone in your life?

Here are some signs of unhappy people you can use to gauge yourself;

☒ Always complaining

An unhappy person will always complain about everything starting from how they look to their jobs.

It is difficult to see anything good in this life when you are upset and you focus on the negatives. Besides, when in an unhappy state, people focus more on negative beliefs about things.

As a result, you forget to be grateful even for the small things like the gift of life.

☒ Isolating yourself

When you find yourself keeping off from people, you could be unhappy. Also, when you feel like no one wants you or you are different from everyone else, you could be in a negative mood.

Withdrawing from friends and family is not normal because we are social beings. This means that we thrive well when we connect with others.

Therefore, not wanting anything to do with others can tell you that something is not going well in your life. You could be having some negative feelings.

☒ Decline in health

A drastic change in your health could be a clear sign that you are going through a moment of unhappiness.

You could lose weight, have blood pressure, or have constant headaches.

Be on the lookout for a prolonged period of unhappiness because it can cost your health. Instead, choose to be your own happiness even in challenging moments of life.

☒ Lack of sleep

You have extended hours in bed without sleeping even for a single minute; that is unhappiness knocking at your door.

This is because when you are unhappy, you don’t have peace, and you are caught up overthinking. As a result, you get insomnia because you have a lot going through your mind, such as uncertainties in life.

☒ Not paying attention to yourself

Are you taking care of yourself, or are you just there?

If you find yourself neglecting simple things like bathing, eating, washing your clothes, or arranging your house, you could be unhappy.

When a person feels low, they lose the meaning of life and tend to forget about themselves.

It becomes a challenge to maintain physical well-being because you are hopeless.

☒ Involvement in bad habits

You could be unhappy if you get into harmful activities such as alcoholism, drug abuse, and cohabiting.

When a person is unhappy, they are likely to find new ways to experience happiness. As a result, they engage in bad activities hoping to find happiness.

These bad habits will give pleasure for a moment, and then you get back to your unhappiness. Besides, they will affect your life negatively.

☒ You feel frustrated often

It is okay to be frustrated once in a while when things go wrong, but if you often find yourself in that state, you could be unhappy.

According to life coach Nina Rubin, ‘when someone is not happy with their life, they often notice themselves feeling frustrated with things that ordinarily wouldn’t upset them.’

For example, scowling away at work or shouting at your kid due to small things could signify unhappiness.

☒ Loss of interest in normal activities

Which is your hobby, and have you been engaging in it of late?

If you find that you loved dancing and had even joined a dance group, but you are no longer interested, you might be having negative emotions.

Also, if you are married and no longer interested in having sex with your partner, it could indicate unhappiness.

This is because an unhappy state steals our joy, and we no longer find what we love to be interesting anymore.

☒ Frequent thoughts of death or suicide

When you feel helpless, you are likely to lack the meaning of life. This is because you are hopeless, and you do not think you deserve to be alive.

This can lead you to death or suicidal thoughts. You may end up thinking about how you can end your own life.

Most people have found themselves in this state, and some have killed themselves. Therefore, be careful when you are sad not to make the mistake of ending your life. You have a precious life in your hands!

☒ Getting angry over petty things

Anger is also a sign of unhappiness. Check out your happiness when you realize that you are getting upset about things that do not matter.

Also, when you start to get irritated with small things, people are likely to draw away from you. This is because they cannot understand your behavior.

☒ Communication changes

Has your friend not been responding to your calls and texts of late? They could be in a state of unhappiness.

When a person feels unhappy, they tend to keep off from people, and all they want is to be alone. They will watch their phone ring without picking.

This is because they do not know what to say about their present moment.

☒ Feeling anxious for no reason

Sometimes when we are anxious for no good reason, we end up draining our minds.

You could be anxious about your future, but you do not know your tomorrow. Therefore, when you realize that you are overthinking things you cannot control, you could be unhappy because of your life.

☒ Being absent-minded

Have you ever found that someone is talking to you, but you have no idea if they ask you what they said? Unhappy people are always absent-minded. They are present physically, but their mind is far away.

Besides, they do not listen carefully, and they do things the opposite way. This could be because they are trying to figure out what is making them unhappy.

🧐 Conclusions 🧐

At one point in our lives, we face situations that make us unhappy. However, happiness and unhappiness are states of mind that can change. It is possible to walk through the journey of finding happiness because life is precious, and you shouldn’t be unhappy all day.

🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔

What triggers unhappiness?

In modern-day society, some people seem to be happy while others are not. The main triggers of unhappiness among people are fatigue, competition, boredom, meaninglessness, envy, guilt, and shame.

Should I quit my job if it makes me unhappy?

Resigning from your job is not a one-day decision. And sometimes, you wake up each day and report at your workplaces, yet deep down in your heart, you are miserable, perhaps because that is not your calling. You are struggling with stress and unfulfillment because you want money.

In such a situation, you can quit the job to find happiness because you may end up in depression. You can plan how to exit by applying for other jobs, changing your spending habits, and being ready to build your career again.

Is it okay to be sad all the time?

Every person feels sad at one point in their life. However, being sad each day can cost you a lot. It may ruin your great relationships with people, affect your health and maybe cause depression.

If you find yourself sad for a long time, seek help from friends or a professional counselor.

Learn how to overcome your quietness, erase your insecurities and be confident around people using proven psychology, HERE!