Black Dating Guide: Things to Know and Tips in 2024

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

Black dating is hard. It’s hard to find the perfect match, it’s hard to find time for them, and it’s hard to maintain a healthy relationship. And if you’re not straight, white, or cisgender, then online dating might be even harder.

To make matters more complicated, certain expectations are set out for black singles seeking relationships. These expectations can be difficult to meet because society has taught us different things about what makes someone desirable based on how they identify.

This guide will teach you all about black dating as a person of color – from understanding your own identity, knowing the best black dating sites to navigate the complexities of being attracted to someone who identifies differently than you.

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What are Black Dating Sites?

These dating apps differ from traditional online dating sites like eHarmony. The sites cater to potential matches and black singles in particular. Black dating sites like silver singles cater to elite singles who, for many, are still struggling to assimilate into American culture.

The best dating sites are for people seeking their blackness and black people seeking black singles. People of color have difficulties trying to date people who look like them.





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Tips on Dating a Black Woman

Dating a black woman is a great experience. Black singles have been told how powerful they are for years. They are not just your average woman from any other online dating site.

You will need to know what to say and do to impress them. Here is a list of 15 things you should know before dating a black woman:

1. Talk To Her

The number one thing that will set you apart from other white and black men is talking. When it comes down to it, no matter how many times you swipe for a dating service, nothing will happen if you never message her. So what are you waiting for? Send her a message to show you’re interested in dating!

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2. Respect Her Time

Messages from black professionals who are too eager or not keen enough on their intentions constantly bombard black women. This is the reason so many of them have had to come up with creative ways to weed out potential suitors in their inboxes and black dating apps.

Check your intentions and make sure you’re respectful when starting a conversation with a black woman and other black singles.

3. Show Interest In What She Does

“What do you like to do for fun?” is not an original question anymore for online black dating profiles or getting into a conversation with someone new in person. But this question is still important for black dating as it shows you’re interested in dating.

4. Give Her Space

Give your woman space when she needs it because sometimes she wants some alone time; however, don’t be afraid to ask her if everything is ok because one day you might come home and find her packing her stuff up while there’s someone else moving; into your place!

5. Understand That Not All Black Women Are The Same

You should know the stereotypes you will deal with in your preferred dating site. Understand that black singles can be just like other women.

A black woman can be the least friendly person in the world, but the one that will do anything for you if you can trust her regardless of their age range. If you don’t know this, you could walk out at an opportunity.

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6. Take Your Time

It’s always a good idea to take your time on a black dating site. There’s no need to rush into anything—one of the most important things you can do when black dating is genuinely showing interest in her.

She might have strange interests, so it will be important for you to take the time to get to know what she likes and dislikes.

7. Establish Friendship First

In contrast with other races, black singles in any dating site often find that black professionals and black seniors often want to be friends before dating them.

So, if you’re interested in black dating for meaningful connections, take her on as many friend dates as possible before making any plans with her.

8. Talk To Your Perfect Match

It’s important to start chatting to find out where she is from and their cultural background to make sure you can relate to them before anything else. It’s also important to talk about sex, and its intersect with their dating experiences.

Most of them and other black women have above-average education. Therefore, this conversation should be an ongoing dialogue to make sure you both feel safe and respected at all times.

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9. Be Honest

The key here is honesty; don’t pretend like you’re into something like relationship goals. You’re not just to get a date or hook up in the online dating world.

If there’s something that makes you feel uncomfortable, as a human, tell him firmly and confidently that it makes you feel disrespected and uncomfortable (and why). Don’t be afraid to let him know if his actions cross the line for you.

10) Prepare to be Intensely Competitive in Black dating

There are a lot of women on these dating sites. The competition for dark skin women is intense because they are fewer than black men.

11) Be Patient

Remember, black singles are rarely hard to get both in dating sites and normal dating life. Most of them don’t believe that it is possible to have a relationship based solely on sex.

They want to know that the man they are dating can be in a romantic relationship and will be with her until the day they die. Black women are more into looking at the whole person, and once they find that person, they will feel like they are home and comfortable.

12) Find out what she’s into

There is no worse feeling than complimenting someone and receiving no response. The same goes for black singles. You need to know what black singles like and don’t like.

The color of her skin does not make her a different person. She has a huge smile and laughs frequently does not mean that she is a hot-tempered person. Make it a point to see her family at least once a year. If her family is large, take her to visit them.

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13) Keep it Casual

You and your girlfriend should normally do things couples do without feeling awkward. Just try to have casual dating. Don’t be afraid to share similar interests with black singles. Dark skin women are drawn to men who share the same taste in music, movies, literature, etc.

14) Respect her Culture

We all have our personal preferences. You should always respect whoever you’re dating and their culture. Black singles have lived a certain lifestyle for thousands of years, and they expect you to respect that. They are proud people, and they expect the same respect from you.

When dating a black woman, it is better to focus more on her than usual activities. You should show her you care for her by being loyal and respectful to her and her family members and not putting her on a pedestal.


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Rules When Dating a Black Woman

Shoot Your Shot Respectfully

Respect is the most effective rule in many dating sites like silver singles and other sites. Take the responsibility to respect a woman for meaningful relationships. Treat her as if she were your sister. Make sure that she does not lack.

You can have the best job on the planet, but you will go far if you show respect to other members around you. Treat her like she is one of the most important things in the world, and you make sure that she knows you value her.

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Understand you are on a Two-Way Street

Remember that you have to consider the elite singles you meet. The rules for dating a white person are the same, if not a little more lenient.

You will meet men with who you are comfortable. This also means it is in your best interest to be reasonable with your racial conversations and preferences. If you have to bring up race, keep it light, funny, or don’t mention it at all.

Teach her Something New

Now here’s a tip for the older black man or black woman. Teach her to dance the Will Smith steps and to twerk. Take some of these traditions and change them up a little.

Be creative to inspire her with success stories. But be responsible for it. Keep in mind when you first go out on a date with her to have an open mind—talking about race and dating simultaneously.

Movie Dates are a Thing

Movies can be a lot of fun and an important part of a relationship. Find a funny movie, preferably comedy, and buy popcorn and pop. Be respectful and attentive during the movie. Go to a quieter cinema to avoid disturbing others with your loud talking.

This would be a good rule to have, just in case someone wants to go out with you in the future. If you don’t like the movie: don’t take another person and insult your date by saying it was terrible. Your friend would appreciate you trying and saying something nice about their choice of film.

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Shut Your Mouth Sometimes

When you meet someone you haven’t met before in dating apps, please give them a chance. We don’t want to be insistent and as awkward as possible. We have a technique to help you be different. Tell someone, “shut up for a bit and let me talk to you.”

Of course, they won’t be able to do that, but that’ll be the first thing that makes a connection: “I can tell you what you should do about this.” Of course, you will not do that, but the person will see you being different and interesting.

Scams on Black Dating Sites

The internet is full of people who want to take advantage of you. Black dating sites are one way people meet each other nowadays.

It’s easy to get scammed on black dating sites by counterfeiting pictures, creating false identities, and even hacking sites. That’s why it’s important for you to know the top black dating site scams and how to avoid them.

1. Fake Profiles

This scam is the most common one on black dating sites because it’s so easy to do. The scammer will create a profile with all the features for someone who doesn’t exist and then hope you’ll contact them.

2. Scams That Ask For Money

Many dating site scams take your money, and they can be tricky! If someone messages you, they may ask for your phone number, Skype id, and address or say they want to make plans with you but need some cash upfront.

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3. Fake Websites

Some scammers will create websites that look legit so that they can steal your information when you sign up. They’ll use domains that look like popular black dating sites or search engines so that when people type in “dating site,” these fake sites will come up first in the search results!


So, you want to get into a serious relationship with a black woman. Good for you. However, it’s important to know that there are scammers out there—and it’s not always easy to spot them. The best way to avoid these scams is to research the best black dating sites.

Read articles, blogs, or even have a video chat with your friends about their experiences with the best best dating site. The more you know about other dating sites, the better equipped you are to keep yourself safe.





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Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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