Am I Toxic? (31 Signs You Should Know)
Have you ever called someone toxic or asked yourself the same question? Do you often find toxicity in other people and think “Am I a toxic person too?” Well, there might not be some clear indication at first about you being toxic but other people may notice certain behaviors that they consider toxic about you. It’s sometimes difficult to realize on our own but someone else can tell you exactly what you are doing wrong.
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What is the definition of toxic?
A toxic person is someone who frequently tries to hurt other people with bad behavior or actions that they consider okay and fine. Being toxic basically means that you love hurting others without feeling any kind of remorse for it. You love the negative behaviors and do it so frequently that it might become a part of your definition.
These direct or indirect behaviors in you are considered as signs of being toxic. A toxic person most often doesn’t realize the damage they are doing to their surroundings. The people in your life, your family, your friends, or your partner might tolerate your toxic behavior to some extent but you should feel guilty about it because what you are doing is absolutely wrong.
But how to properly define who is a toxic person? Am I toxic? Is my toxic behavior destroying mine or someone else’s life? Is my mental health fine and well? Such questions may arise when you first notice the toxicity in you.
But pinpointing the exact sign might be difficult for certain people. That’s why I will share with you 31 clear signs you should know about a toxic person. This article will explain everything in detail so reading it till the end will help you a lot. Let’s get started.
💣 Am I toxic? 31 signs that you’re the toxic person in people’s lives 💣
📌 31 signs that you’re toxic 📌
1. Not caring about other people feelings
Emotions, something that humans show when they feel something. There are different types of emotions we can display depending on the behavior of our surroundings. Everyone wants to feel “Happy” but that’s not always the case, unfortunately.
People want to feel loved, to be cared for, to be understood even if they don’t talk too much. They want to share and love as much as the other person. They all have feelings, some are even more sensitive than others. Even tiny damage to their heart can cause a wound of a lifetime. But why am I telling you all this?
Because someone who is toxic will do harm to you regardless of keeping your feelings in consideration. They simply won’t care if your heart hurts all the time. Or if you are dealing with worldly problems. Instead of providing emotional support, they will tend to hurt you more. They will blame everything else but themselves because they feel good about their wrongdoings. It’s a clear indication of toxic behavior. And I think it’s one of the worst signs too because words carry energy. Talking or having a conversation positively is perhaps much better than talking negatively constantly.
2. Mood Swinging Dilemma
Okay, this one is just as bad as the first one. Treating people around you depending on your different kinds of moods will make people fearful. They won’t know what kind of mood you are in because they can’t speak to you properly. They are careful with their words to not trigger you because of your mood-swinging behavior.
They will control you by showing their unpredictable versions of them making you think many times before doing or saying something to them. To live like this in constant fear feel like living in a world full of hypocrites!
So if you portray your mood swings in a way that can hurt others, seek help instantly. Clear your head and look for support. It’s not other people’s fault that they feel constrained while talking with you. Such a personality is considered a mess.
3. Jealousy, The Green-Eyed Monster
Do you often find yourself talking about what other people have or achieve? Do you constantly talk about other people’s success with your friends and family? Do you feel bad that other people have more than you? That’s what we call jealousy.
It’s toxic behavior that is very common in the world. Instead of being happy for the other person, you feel bad because you don’t have all that. “Someone is better than you” is something that makes you restless. Instead of wishing good luck or be supportive, you tend to think more about “Why?” It makes you upset because of which you act with jealousy then. You might go as far as to curse the people.
Jealousy may cause you to lose your relationships with your friends. It may affect your health and cause you pain. It will emotionally drain you and maybe later when you think of the past, there will be no one there but only you, alone. Because you are jealous of the things that your friends have.
People really hate someone who is of the jealous type. They can’t deal with such behavior that seems to harm someone. My advice would be to not feel jealousy my friend, not even a little bit. It could destroy the most precious thing that you have. Your bond with someone close to you or things that matter the most to you.
4. I’m not going to apologize
Admitting to your mistakes and believing you are wrong takes a lot of courage and heart. Instead of playing the blame game, fixing things on the spot is much better than treating people badly and causing them more pain. A toxic person may not apologize or admit to their mistakes because they feel they never did something wrong in the first place.
Perhaps you think it’s fine to harm other people and get away with it without saying sorry. People are aware of such behavior and clearly know that you are not the person they thought you to be. Forgiveness goes a long way but people who think negatively only have negative outcomes.
You don’t consider the other person to be the victim of your toxicity and simply ignore the fact that your behavior might have caused some damage to their life. You simply don’t care if they get upset with you or you don’t give a damn about the world at all.
The honest truth is, in all healthy relationships there is compromise. There is forgiveness and there is love, patience, support, and trust. If you take the first step towards forgiveness, you took the first step towards a healthy relationship.
A toxic person may not consider forgiveness an important matter. Maybe they seem to be just fine with their personality. Emotions might not be there with them and that could lead to such a terrible disaster of toxicity.
5. What is Compromise?
Being selfish and only caring about you, you, and you mean that you will never compromise when it needs to be. You are like ” My wishes and need comes first, I don’t care about yours at all! ” This seems to be the case of today’s modern world. Relationships are breaking off left and right just because you don’t know how to compromise.
Self-care is all you think about. You will do anything to get what YOU need even if makes the life of other people hard. ” So what if it causes pain to other people? I come first” is the type of mentality toxic people have. You never feel guilty about such behavior and just portray your selfish side to people which causes them to hate you.
I believe people who want healthy relationships should have their mental health checked. Maybe it might feel like not something everyone is going to do but if it fixes the problem then why not? If every single person starts checking on their behaviors, it would lead to more healthy relationships around you. Your head will feel lighter and people around you would be happy to have you in their lives.
6. Negative is my Positive
Whenever you hear a story from your friends or family, you always seem to assume the outcome is negative. Like I mentioned before, negative thinking will only bring negative results. Instead of becoming better, you become toxic. Your relationships seem to disconnect often and you feel just fine because you think negatively anyways.
All toxic relationships seem to have one culprit who seems to think negatively all the time. A relationship could get healthy if we think positively and maybe just maybe life could get better in a matter of time.
People believe that someone who constantly talks negatively will do a lot of harm and cause pain to someone. Which is the truth, if you keep thinking negatively how can you or the people around you be happy? How will they understand that you matter? when you always say negative things
People have emotions, they want to support and always seek the truth. They get upset when others don’t consider their feelings. People deal with so many things in their everyday life that listening to someone negative just messes their heads even more.
Thinking like that will only create more problems and will only attract people who love problems even more. They will act exactly how you seem to think. Maybe they feel it’s okay too because in your head it’s okay to spread negativity. There is no future if you always think like that, your past is just the same. But your present can be changed. I believe if someone really cares about their health, they will perhaps try harder more than anyone to do right instead of wrong.
7. Drama is fun!
Drama in a relationship is a pitfall everyone tries to avoid. People deal with drama all the time. And every single time when someone creates a drama, it’s a start towards many toxic behaviors. In the beginning, it may feel like nothing but at some point, people will realize that you enjoy escalating things and creating drama. You love to act in silly scenarios and don’t care about people. Your wrong seems right to you in your head. You believe feelings are useless and it’s okay if people get emotional over your act. You are self-obsessed and simply feel nothing towards people who are emotionally hurt.
If someone else tells you that you are wrong you even start to act more on it because it’s fuel to you for what you want to create. Sadly the victim can only blame themselves because you won’t stop anyways. Imagine how people will feel when you talk and lie instead of telling the truth. Not admitting to your fault and blaming someone else. It might not harm you but it certainly harms the people who want to avoid such scenarios.
8. I am more upset than you!
A toxic person upsets people more than any other person. They will tell you they are more upset even if you didn’t do anything wrong to them. They feel it’s fine and okay to see you sadder and sadder. They don’t have a care about the world or people getting hurt. Or even their family and friends, they perhaps just are used to upsetting people. And you when you point out the obvious in them, even for tiny little things they will say “So? I am more upset than you!”
They will upset you and make you deal with it alone. They will make you feel the worst about yourself and that is how all toxic relationships are.
You may feel relationships can last while doing such childish behaviors but in truth, it’s really not. Your personality will be in shambles if you don’t care about how much you are upsetting people. People are not stupid enough to let it slide all the time.
Toxic people’s personalities tend to have such behaviors. In life, you may find it really difficult to find friends. People will avoid you, nobody would like to have a conversation with you let alone sit with you.
9. ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME
Toxic people often only talk about themselves. That’s their favorite topic! Their favorite conversation is ” Well, I ” and ” But, I ” or my most favorite ” You see, I “. That shows the exact personality of toxic people. They are self-obsessed, they love themselves and they only talk about in ” I ” and ” Me ”
People in your life want a healthy relationship with you, not a toxic one. How can you even make friends when all you talk about is yourself? You won’t even let other people talk because you want to stay above everyone. How will you know what’s going on in your friends or family life when you only spend time talking about yourself. They will feel having a proper conversation with you is just not possible.
People can find someone else, why should they always show interest in what you have to say about yourself only? You might not notice it but it can hurt people too. And when someone gives you a piece of advice, you should act on it and not just shrug it off. People are just as same as you. They matter too. Their lives are interesting too. If someone tells you about their past or how they are living in this world, you should listen to them carefully.
10. Always suspicious
Being always suspicious is one of the toxic behaviors I really hate. It’s against the conduct of a healthy relationship. You are constantly making scenarios that don’t exist and have a suspicion of your partner doing something bad. If it stays the same and doesn’t change how could your partner even trust you then? How could your partner connect with you emotionally when you are always telling her about the thoughts in your head that don’t exist.
People feel emotionally drained when their partner is such type of a person. Relationships like these don’t tend to last longer and both are left to deal with this alone. It’s sad, isn’t it? When someone can be your soulmate and then they become a victim of your toxicity.
11. Tell me your secrets so I can share them with everyone
You make people trust you, listen to their hearts, minds, and darkest secrets. You are so confident in your smooth talks that they believe you are the person they can trust this with. But then you go on and backbite. Share all their secrets with everyone. And tell them just the same that ” Don’t tell anyone else” while the poor victim secrets spread across your friends.
Toxic people don’t care if you have an important person in your life. They don’t care about someone’s past or consider their fault in things. They will do anything that they enjoy. Even share your classified information with the world.
A person who is toxic can never be someone’s friend. Because if they could share your personal things with others, how can you even trust them? My advice is to be wary of a person who is toxic.
People want to have a good and best friend, not a toxic one!
12. People in your life are not important
Did you ever think about why your friends left you suddenly and find somebody else? Why your relationship doesn’t last long? Why does the person feel emotional all the time when they are with you?
Well someone has to tell you that because you are not giving them the importance they deserve. Maybe you are giving more importance to the gadgets around you. Or your hobby or yourself. People want to know and feel that they are just important as other things that you love. Why should they look for somebody else when you are showing them that they matter too?
The point is that you have to fix things that are important, you have to be the person that someone can call a friend. The person who can make a relationship much better than others. A person who knows what is the most important thing in life. Self-care is okay but while giving importance to others as well.
13. Deceiving is easy when you are toxic
You find it much easier to do things accordingly to you by deceiving and manipulating others. It’s fine and okay to you if you manipulate others to think or do things how you want.
You make people doubt others, you make them think others are wrong and you are right. They think someone else has done things just because you know how to deceive others. You feel happy that everyone can believe your lies so easily.
But people are smart nowadays and know when a lie is being told. They don’t take everything so seriously because society has become full of toxic people now. They are aware of your techniques and lies. Even an average person can lie to others but the point is to fix such problems.
Lies only make our life difficult. A relationship is a very precious thing in life. Lying to others would not only worsen the relationship, but the trust will just not be there. Can you make a friend while being so deceitful? Of course not! It may be fun and games to you but to others, it’s an emotional thing. No friend of yours would want a toxic relationship in life. So why should you?
14. If I suffer, wouldn’t I get more care and attention?
In life, we get through a lot of different kinds of tragedies. Life is cruel, that’s the truth. But some people take that to their advantage and use it against people. Some people don’t know how to self-love because they are used to creating disasters after disasters to have pity on themselves from others. They love that!
In a relationship, a person may want to change themselves to have a better life. But there exist some people who gain something from opposing such change, lots of attention and pity. It’s a clear sign of a toxic person who not only tries to bring you down with themselves by having THEIR way but also disagrees to fix things in life. They will blame themselves so much that you will feel bad about even thinking about doing anything with your life.
You might feel good when your friend or partner is there giving all the care and support but honestly, it’s putting a lot of strain on them. All that attention and care will go away soon and when you are back to reality, you will be fine. While others will be not so fine at all. So think before doing something as toxic as this.
15. No shame when discussing someone’s flaws
A toxic person may have a friend in his circle that might have some flaws. He/She might be going through something like the passing away of a dear friend, have a disability, or is just not in check with their emotions. Think of a scenario where you gather all your friends and single out one to just make fun of their flaws and discuss it for so long that they feel the worst in their life.
It’s something that only an awful person will do. Making fun of someone’s skin, degrading them to the point they start to cry, shaming a family member with a disability and bullying can be the best example of this. Why should anyone have to go through this? Why increase their pain and anxiety more? You never know what people are dealing with in their life.
The mental health of a person is a very important part of life. It should be protected at all costs. This article should be a valid point for you and others to fix things more. It will make your relationship with others better.
16. Fix it yourself, why should I?
Toxic people often don’t fix problems but create more. They don’t provide help because they consider themselves to be always right and you wrong. Instead of giving you self-confidence, they think it’s okay that you deal with your problems alone rather than helping you fix your problems. And when it’s their turn to need help, they will do anything and play the pity game to get help from you. Which is hypocrisy at its best. Playing with people’s emotions, putting blame on others, lack of support, and not telling the truth are the most common traits in a toxic person.
Asking for help is fine but providing it not just shows how self-centered people can be.
When you are in a relationship, it’s not just about you anymore, it’s about “Us” Let this article be your fix to a relationship. Share it with others as well so they know about it.
17. Ungrateful
You think that you have just the worst life anyone can have. You consider yourself to be the most unlucky and feel like the world should show pity on you. You have a firm belief that you suffer more than others. You can’t stop discussing it with others because you fail to understand that there are so many things to be grateful for.
It’s easy for you to be a sore loser than actually doing something about it. You let everything slide right past you because you are just so ungrateful for this beautiful gift that God has bestowed upon you, your life.
All you do is nag and complain which eventually leads to people distancing themselves from you because they just can’t stand a person who has toxic behavior.
Make a note to self, to be grateful for the tiniest things that you have in your life. And see how it affects your relationship with others. It will fix your problems without you even knowing about it.
18. Optimism is a NO for me
If you can’t think positively, and always drag down people to your way of thinking then you are simply a pessimistic person. You think of only the worst things that can happen but not the good. You only seem to find bad in everything.
You are the destroyer of moods, dreams, and wishes. They can’t even talk with you because if anything that they say was not right by mistake, you will be there to make them feel even worst by saying “See, didn’t I say that to you?” It’s like you are waiting for an opportunity to make someone feel unhappy about maybe their past or anything they are going through in the world.
It’s like you can’t stand a positive outcome but only expect bad to happen. A relationship like that won’t last long at all.
19. People start to point out your behavior
When someone has enough of your toxic behavior and just cannot tolerate anymore the way you are treating them, they will start to call you out on your actions. Only then you will know that you did something they won’t sit idly upon. They will most definitely call you out on it.
Most of the times people will ignore it and just let it slide right by them but eventually they know that they have to distance themselves from you. They will cut ties with you, remove you from their relationship, and will not associate themselves with you anymore.
It takes a lot of time to directly confront someone about doing something bad. If they did that to you then it means you have really crossed the line and should apologize as soon as possible.
20. You are competitive and the only winner
You make everything a competition. And you want to be the only winner in it because that’s what exactly toxic people do. If you don’t win then you get mad and throw a tantrum like a kid and start arguing about everything and how it should be your way.
A harmless competition can be fun, a test of skills perhaps can be good for both you and others. But you even make the simplest of things into a competition which not many people like. By showing such behavior you are simply alienating people who just want to have a good time. They feel restless and simply tired to cope with your silly competitions.
21. You make people do things they don’t like
In a group of friends, you single out one person and persuade others to convince him/her into doing something they are afraid of or don’t want to do. You put so much pressure on it by taking advantage of your like-minded peeps that the poor person has no other choice but to either break down or do what you are asking from him.
You like to ignite such behavior among groups and enjoy the outcome of someone not doing what they like. Without a care about the consequences that might happen, you simply put more oil on fire while the poor man is just finding a way out of it.