Why Am I Ugly: 31 Genuine Points To Remember Always
By Ruth Jesse
January 10, 2024 • Fact checked by Dumb Little Man
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You’re ugly! This is probably a statement you’ve been told on numerous occasions. You’ve probably looked in the mirror and had to agree with this statement. If you are ugly, how do you handle this situation? Remember, it’s not the end of the world. Let’s check out how best to handle being unattractive.
🔰 31 important things that will help you deal with being ugly 🔰
1. Be honest with yourself
Beauty is both subjective and objective. Everyone has their distinct look, which may not please every other person. However, if you were to be rated out of 10, most people’s choices would cluster around a specific range.
Most people score either 5 or 6 on a scale of up to 10, so if you score between 1 to 3, let’s face it, you’re not one of the most attractive people out there. You’re probably already aware of this, and you hate it when people are condescending and try to tell you otherwise.
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You probably hear a lot of, “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder,” or “You’re beautiful in your own way.” These clichés suck, right? Don’t worry about it. Most people just try to be polite and don’t know what to say when they find you unattractive.
If you constantly look in the mirror and see an unattractive person, accept that you’re relatively ugly on the surface and find a way to live with it. Move on and find out what you’re going to do about it!
2. Why are you unattractive?
Being unattractive is something you can’t help. You’re probably unattractive because you had a bad stroke of luck in the genetics department. If your parents weren’t attractive, then that’s how you ended up unattractive too.
Your parents probably passed down your uneven eyes, weight, and bulbous nose. It’s not your fault that you look the way you do; hence no need to blame yourself. Diet and lifestyle also have an impact on the way you look.
3. Acceptance is key
Acceptance doesn’t just mean agreeing with a society that you’re ugly. No! It also means learning to live with your unattractive self and learning to love yourself too. You might tend to avoid mirrors or having your picture taken because we usually avoid the things we don’t like about ourselves.
This habit is destructive as you instill that you don’t like yourself because you keep running away from your looks. Also, don’t resent your parents for your looks because this is a victim mentality. You don’t want to be a victim, do you?
Face these issues head-on and take responsibility for your looks. Deal with it instead of moping around over uncontrollable circumstances. These flaws are part of who you are, so own them! Insecurity is prevalent, even with supermodels. Yes, supermodels!
Everyone judges their appearance; hence that habit makes us all self-conscious. We might find others beautiful, but when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we pay attention to our flaws. This habit is known as attentional bias.
Don’t waste time being negative about your looks. Accept yourself as you are. Acceptance boosts self-confidence, and confident people often attract other people.
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4. Avoid jealousy
Comparing yourself with others comes naturally, no matter how hard we try not to. These comparisons bring out our jealous sides, which don’t do much for our self-acceptance.
There’s always someone out there who’s going to have a one-up on you, no matter who you are in society. More money, better looks, hotter wife/husband. Try to remember that there are also people who will have less than you. While you’re comparing yourself to someone else and jealous of them, someone else is also doing the same.
There are also the funny coincidences whereby the same person you’re jealous of turns out to be jealous of you too because of something you have that they don’t. Weird, but that’s just how the world works.
Stop looking at others with envy, and you’ll find that you come to accept and appreciate yourself exactly as you are.
5. Relationships For Ugly People
Harsh? Maybe, but it’s good to deal with facts if you want to move past yours and other people’s perceptions of you being ugly. Ugly people can find love too.
The dating scene may be harder for ugly people, but looks shouldn’t be a barrier to a happy relationship. You just have to remember to manage your expectations when looking for a suitable mate and remember that looks in a potential partner aren’t everything. Try to find someone who’s on the lower end of the attractiveness spectrum (unless you’ve got Elon Musk type of money).
Looks aren’t a number one factor in committed relationships. People who want to remain committed to each other go for personality. Looks also tend to wear off gradually in long-term relationships because we all have to get older eventually.
Look at Hollywood, for instance! Celebrities are always playing a game of spousal musical chairs whereby they are constantly exchanging partners despite being beautiful and glamorous. This just shows you that looks aren’t everything in regards to true love. Choose someone that you get along with and who accepts themselves and you.
Let’s face it, the process of finding love for unattractive people probably won’t be very easy, but once you do, it will be worth the wait. You’ll know, without a doubt, that your partner truly loves you because love transcends physical beauty.
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6. Build your self-confidence
Good-looking people have a confidence boost. However, you don’t have to be physically attractive to build self-confidence. You can work on it gradually and get a hold of your emotions to help you become as confident as the most attractive person you know.
One of the ways of building self-confidence is by undertaking a few exercises such as those by Brazilian shaman Rudá Iandê. His exercises incorporate years of learning different breathwork methods with ancient shamanic beliefs that help your body and soul relax. These relaxation techniques help to unwind and release negativity.
7. Don’t worry about your looks.
![](https://www.dumblittleman.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Why-Am-I-So-Ugly-Top-10-Reasons-Youre-Ugly.jpg)
This is probably easier said than done if you’re not as attractive as most people. However, you should realize that when you constantly think about how unattractive you are, chances are you’ll have a negative outlook on life.
However, if you like something about yourself, you’ll feel better about yourself and have a positive outlook on life. Learn to practice gratitude daily because there must be things that you’re truly grateful for.
8. Ignore the naysayers
This is an important point to note in all aspects of life, not just regarding looks or lack thereof. When we listen to other people’s every opinion, we’ll eventually feel miserable. You need to change your thinking and take control of your feelings such that other people’s opinions of you become irrelevant.
What other people have to say of you is none of your business as it might just be a reflection of what they truly think of themselves. Naysayers often make themselves look bad when they speak ill of you. Practicing this isn’t as easy as it sounds, but nothing worth it comes easy. Even supermodels get constant criticism.
Take control of your life by making yourself feel good and not relying on other people to be nice to you.
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9. Forget about one-night stands.
Yes, it’s shallow but let’s just get it out of the way. If you are ugly, chances of you hooking up with someone for a one-night stand are slim to none. One-night stands are usually when two people meet, and within a few minutes or hours, there’s instant chemistry that happens because of their raw, animalistic attraction to each other.
![pixabay.com](https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2019/06/24/17/20/passion-4296544_960_720.jpg)
Unfortunately, these circumstances are usually experienced by attractive people. These types of attractions may take some time to happen for the less attractive person because you’ll probably rely on your humor, ability to connect, and other lovable traits.
Don’t worry; these characteristics are what lead to true love and not just superficial physical attraction. The deeper attraction is what most people live for.
10. Find internal beauty
If you’re unsure of which parts of yourself you like, look for other areas that you’re proud of. Beauty is subjective and can be found in unexpected places, a lot like art. Your beauty may appear in your love for singing or helping others.
Doing what makes you feel good has a certain beauty to it and will keep you happy instead of just focusing on your looks. When doing something you love, you project a certain beauty into the world, and people can’t help but see the beauty within you.
11. Keep your loved ones close.
Lasting friendships and relationships are built on real factors like being a good person or having a good sense of humor. These qualities make other people love you for who you are and, you end up making great friends or lasting romantic relationships. Couples that have been married for years stay together for so long because of these factors, not looks.
It’s paramount that you keep people who genuinely love you close as they don’t care about your looks. When someone genuinely cares about you, they don’t notice any physical shortcomings that you may have.
12. Cultural differences
The definition of beauty is different from country to country, whereby the western world perceives beauty as being skinny, while in African and South American countries, being curvy is beautiful. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes; hence cultural differences matter a lot.
Historically, we’ve seen these cultural differences too. In England in the 1600s, having pale skin was considered more attractive than having tanned skin because people with tan skin usually worked outside. Wealthy English women back then tried to make themselves paler.
A thick unibrow was considered attractive on a woman in Ancient Greek. Women shaved their eyebrows in ancient japan, painted them higher than where eyebrows should be on their forehead and painted their teeth black.
People’s versions of beauty keep constantly changing, meaning your current cultural version of beauty shouldn’t affect you. You might not be beautiful locally, but you may be a bombshell in different countries or cultures.
13. Attractive people feel ugly too.
Insecurity about one’s looks doesn’t only affect unattractive people; it’s pretty common with attractive people too. On a scale of 1 to 10, you’ll find that people who are a 6 might think they’re a 2, or an 8 might think they’re a 4. People mostly tend to under-rate their looks; hence may sometimes have insecurities that affect them psychologically.
They may be attractive but see themselves much differently than how the outside world sees them. Unattractive people might be more realistic regarding their expectations than attractive people are.
14. Be yourself
People are constantly influencing us in society which can make us lose touch with who we are. However, if you want to live with the notion of being ugly, you must learn to accept yourself both inside and out.
We’re more than our physical appearance. Our personality, spirit, feelings, and thoughts are what determine who we are inside. If you strive to be yourself, you’ll ultimately attract people who like you for you. If you try to be someone else, it’s hard to get genuine friends.
15. Only change if you have to
It’s good to be yourself. However, sometimes there are some aspects that you need to change to make yourself feel better and improve your quality of life. If this is something you must do, go for it. Just make sure that the decision isn’t influenced by what other people think.
Some people may opt for plastic surgery, but you must remember that self-confidence is inside and not outside. Plastic surgery may improve some physical features, but you must have a positive mindset to accept yourself and no amount of plastic surgery cures that.
However, surgery is not for everyone and, in most cases, is too expensive. If plastic surgery isn’t for you, check some tips below to help you improve your looks and make you feel better about yourself:
- Buy clothes that best suit your body size and shape.
- Eat well and exercise. Staying in shape helps you look and feel good.
- Be well-groomed. Take a shower, keep your hair neat, wear clean clothes and always ensure that you have fresh breath.
- Get good skincare products. These are available for both men and women and will help your skin look clearer and younger.
- Avoid excessive drinking and smoking as these bad habits may affect your outward appearance and increase the rate of aging.
- Experiment with different fashion styles to help you stand out in a good way and make you look more attractive.
16. Take advantage of your best features.
Your best features don’t necessarily have to be physical, as you can also maximize your great personality. However, let’s concentrate on the physical.
You may consider yourself ugly, but you’ve probably been complimented on one or two of your physical attributes at some point in time. It could be your eyes, teeth, hair, etc. If you have beautiful hazel eyes wear clothes that make them pop! If you’ve got a beautiful smile, you know what to do! Smile every chance you get!
If you work on your best features instead of obsessing over things that you can’t change, you’ll become a lot happier. Sometimes it’s just the little things that attract someone to you, maybe your lopsided grin or the way you laugh with your eyes.
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17. Life might be harder, but that’s ok.
Let’s face it; gorgeous women sometimes don’t have to work as it’s easy for them to get a man who will take care of them for life. Handsome men have it easy because they can get any woman they want. When you’re gorgeous, the world is your oyster.
Being unattractive is the opposite. People barely acknowledge you, and you might come off as creepy when you try to be charming. They ignore you when you’re in the same room or try to avoid you because you’ve got nothing to offer them. Even most job opportunities go to the better-looking people.
Don’t let this get you down. These social inequalities help you work on more creative ways to help you get what you want. In the process of working harder to get ahead in life, you become more creative, more intelligent, and have more emotional maturity. Since nothing will be given to you for free you’ll learn to work for everything you want.
18. Sometimes no one cares about your looks.
Get out of your head! Most of the time, no one cares about how you look. Your acne or your big nose don’t matter that much to other people as they most likely want to hear what you have to say or what you have to offer.
Stop being your critic and live your life. No one’s mocking you. Be good at your job or in school and work on your personality, and everything will be ok.
19. Avoid too much social media.
Social media largely affects this generation’s influences, from the jobs they do, the clothes they wear, and their physical appearance. If you have an issue with how you look, you should probably spend less time on social media.
Social media is filled with fashion pages that have unrealistic expectations of what beauty should look like. Some of the models on these sites are so airbrushed, or their photos have so many filters that they look close to perfect, yet that is not what they look like in real life.
These unrealistic expectations make less attractive people get depressed as they think they should look like that. Try and spend as little time on social media as possible for your peace of mind. Stick to sites that give you a positive outlook on life and make you feel good.
20. Focus on other things
The most important thing you should learn is that looks aren’t everything. It is a cliché, but it’s true. Strive to be healthy and keep fit, but don’t worry too much about what your face looks like or things that you can’t change
Make sure that you focus on activities that make you happy so that you’re not too focused on the negative.
21. Don’t put yourself down.
If you’re ugly, people will always try to get you down. Don’t help them. Stay positive and be your biggest cheerleader. That way, you’ll be a much happier person.
22. Be kind
I’m sure you’ve encountered a few good-looking people who are absolute assholes because they know they’re attractive, right? You probably didn’t like them very much. Now, imagine an ugly person being an asshole! They’ll end up receiving even more hate.
If you’re unattractive, try to be as kind as possible to others as it goes a long way. However, don’t be a pushover. Sometimes a situation allows you to be angry.
23. Body language
Sometimes your body language could make a small difference in people’s perception of you. Don’t hunch your shoulders. Stand up straight and walk tall. Make your gait confident as you walk and exude confidence.
24. Smile more and be easy-going
An unattractive person that smiles more and has an easy-going attitude is more attractive than a surly beauty who is always frowning or snarling at people. Show those pearly whites more and be friendlier to people.
25. Wear the right makeup
Sometimes wearing the right makeup might mean the difference between looking gorgeous or unattractive. Wear the right makeup to hide some of those features that you find ugly, like acne, and use it to accentuate your strong features.
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26. Be passionate
Be passionate when doing the things you love, as it can sometimes make someone find you attractive. Love with passion, work with passion, or sing with passion.
27. Being ugly has its advantages.
There are some advantages to being ugly. People like you for who you are and not for your looks; hence you get to enjoy each other’s company because you have a genuine connection.
Another advantage is that you’re much happier and more confident in life since you’ve accepted your looks. Being unattractive also allows you to work out for the right reasons, which is to keep healthy and not just to get a sext body for Instagram.
28. Buy good shoes
![](https://www.dumblittleman.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/DIY-5Pcs-6-Layer-Open-Stackable-Plastic-Shoe-Rack-Multi-layer-Living-Room-Bedroom-Space-Saving-715x715.jpg)
Shoes stand alone apart from clothing. This is because when you meet someone for the first time, they will notice your shoes on the first encounter. Make sure you have nice, well-fitting, clean shoes that make you look attractive.
29. Maintain good dental hygiene
At some point, this article mentions being pleasant and smiling more to help you increase your attractiveness levels. But how do you smile more if you have unsightly teeth?
If you’re generally unattractive, try to make your teeth stand out by brushing and flossing regularly. These good habits help to maintain those pearly whites and give you a sparkling smile.
30. It might just be a phase.
Sometimes you might be going through a phase like puberty whereby your face is full of pimples, or you’re still developing. You might be stick-thin as a teenager or really short but you’re a beefcake by the time you turn 21.
Maybe you’re in a stressful phase in your life where you overeat because of stress, or your face breaks out in pimples due to the hormones released by stress. Don’t worry, this too shall pass, and you’ll go back to looking like your normal self once that phase of your life is over.
31. Words best replace the term ugly.
It’s probably best not to call someone ugly, especially within their earshot, but if you really must describe someone, you can use the terms unattractive, unpleasant looking, or say that they’re not attractive.
🧐 Conclusions 🧐
Being ugly doesn’t mean that life has to stop. It might seem like you have no hope in the world, but being attractive is not everything, and you can still become the person you’ve always wanted to be, even with your current looks.
Stop being sorry for yourself and work on your character. Strive to be a better person as looks may change, but the character takes years to develop.
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Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.