24 Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

Are you in a relationship where you feel you are being used?

Do you think you are his girlfriend but he’s not actually your boyfriend?

Could you have noticed a sign that he is not getting serious about this relationship?

Does he want to care about you as much as you care about him?

Even dates after dates, it seems there is no commitment from him whatsoever?

All of these questions are viable when you understand the logic behind the signs he is showing to you. Whether it seems like he is using you or just is carefree about the relationship with you. It’s a red flag and sign that he is not considering anything serious with you.

There are a lot of signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you and you should get to know them before realizing it later. No one should be wasting your time, not even you.

No matter if you are a woman or a man, whenever you decide to date a person, you should give a sign that you are serious if you match with them. But if you ever feel like you are dating a person, and he is only keeping you around just to get benefits from you. Then it’s a sign that you should stop seeing him instantly.

If you are looking for signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you then you are at the right place.

I will thoroughly explain and guide you through what are the signs that men have when they only want to have you around but never agreeing to commit with you. There are 24 signs that I want to share with you today and some of them are really an eye-opener.

So If you are looking for an answer to your relationship, you might find one in this article.

Don’t worry and let me break it down for you guys that what are the signs men have when they don’t want a relationship with you.

Let’s see and discuss each one below.

⚫ Here are the 24 Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You But Keeps You Around ⚫

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1. He’s thinking about his ex-girlfriend

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If you find yourself in a relationship with your boyfriend where he is still in touch with his ex-girlfriend then what does it say about him?

Commitment requires honesty and trust in a relationship. It is of utmost importance. Maybe he says he’s over her, she’s just my friend now. But is he really? When he’s not even emotionally connected with you.

What I mean is, he hasn’t decided you be his girlfriend yet because he’s not over his ex-girlfriend still. It might be a recent breakup for him or he really loved her which still left some feelings inside him.

If he has never really gotten an answer or closure maybe then it could mean he’s not ready for a serious relationship with you.

Learn and know what he’s thinking by watching this video.

2. He has a broken heart

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Men have feelings too. Maybe they knew some women in the past that doesn’t allow them to fall in love with a woman again. Maybe he is too hung up on the past and cannot allow himself to get rid of the hurt.

Maybe his Ex has left a big scar on his heart by breaking his trust or maybe he just feels worthless to be loved by a woman now.

All of these are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you because he feels scared and insecure. His broken heart won’t let him fall in love with a woman again. It’s definitely a sign guys show to you.

3. He is not ready for a big change

He is maybe scared of the sudden big change in his life. For example, you got into a relationship with a guy and he starts to freak out because your friends and family are already talking about you guys moving in together! Or maybe wear matching couple shirts or he is just worried about things suddenly changing in a serious direction.

Your friends and family ask you to make it official to public and he is not ready and wants to keep things as it is.

Relationships have different meanings to both men and women. If you introduce the seriousness in it, you both will get a different reaction to it.

4. The pressure is too much

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It’s similar to bringing change into a relationship just how we discussed above. But what is different here is that did you pressure him into getting serious? Are you always busy talking about making it official with him? Every time he tries to think about it, you bring it up and ask him again and again?

Maybe his phone is full of your calls, his social media accounts maybe have your friends and family messages to think about it too.

He is under the constant pressure of having a long-term relationship with you. It’s fine to have love in our lives, but not if you feel the pressure.

If he is making effort to think about this emotionally, without making any excuses to you. Then perhaps, he needs some time to think about the sudden big change in a relationship.

5. He doesn’t understand you clearly

If you want a relationship with someone, you should be able to understand each other quite well. Every time you do the talking, there should be proper communication.

No excuses or lies or talk about having a break later. You want a splendid moment that you can spend every day with him right?

You want to be busy with him only and you love him and perhaps you want an answer from him about if he is interested in having a relationship with you.

But how will he know without communication? What if he thinks you are just looking for a casual fling and nothing serious?

He might think you are seeing other men as well so he is scared to get rejected if he proposes the idea of having a long-term relationship with you.

If you seriously have an interest in someone and want a relationship, you should tell them. Otherwise, they will lose interest and think that you only spend time with him because you enjoy casual talking.

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6. He likes to be single

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There are definitely men out there who seriously prefer to be single all their lives. But they have a trick up their sleeves, they just want women for sex. That’s it.

All they do is sleep around, have sex, and don’t commit to women. They date a woman, they do the sweet-talking, get your number, maybe introduce you to his friends or family, just in case right? Then after a few days, he shows interest in having sex with you.

And you feel like there is nothing wrong with that because his words and actions are right.

What it means is that they are only looking for flings, sex, and talking when they want.

They are not seriously thinking about life with you. Rather they just feel and enjoy the moment that you give him. He is always busy when you want a talk about life or relationship.

7. He’s seeing someone else

If I could explain relationships to women easily, I would say that a man is not a man if he makes you his second choice.

Seriously, I mean the definition of a relationship might be different all the time. But if he is seeing someone else while being with you then he does not want a relationship with you.

Don’t look for signs anymore, when he is the guy who is out there not caring about you anymore.

Such guys don’t want a relationship but only your phone number, you know, just in case. Don’t waste your words on him.

Don’t even consider having a date with him. Because the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you are clear.

8. He likes to use you

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A number of men out there don’t feel wrong about using women. They act like a man, date like a man, love like a man, but in reality, they don’t feel like a man.

It’s easy for them to fool women because they become friends with you first and then show their true colors. They act as your ideal boyfriend type but if you want something from them, suddenly they get busy.

But if THEY want something, they will call you at 3 AM at night, they will try to get to know you and talk with you at times you don’t even think as appropriate.

It’s all about what he wants but not what you want. They will search for you on social media and follow you everywhere if they want something.

So beware. In life, you might meet men like these to whom love is nothing but a tool for them to use against women.

9. He thinks things might be going too fast

A relationship is a sacred bond. In every relationship, there is a beginning and initiation of love and commitment to each other. You might think, “Hey the search is over” I got my future husband with me now. Let’s talk about marriage! I am so excited” The guy might think, ” Let’s meet each other families first, plan a goal, think about financial stability”

Thoughts like these make men scared of commitment in a relationship.

They don’t want to label it so soon and act on a whim. A man needs time to make life decisions. If he wants a relationship with you, he will say he is ready. Otherwise, there might be these signs he doesn’t want a relationship at the moment.

Don’t be afraid to open up emotionally. If you feel disconnected from him then ask him what does this relationship means to you? You might be able to get an answer from him on this matter.

10. He doesn’t know what he wants

Seriously, a guy who is curious about having a relationship is really like something else. He is just clueless about what does he want in his life.

A man who wants love wants an answer for his journey. He thinks about what could go wrong and what could go right? He acts a bit weird when he doesn’t know what he wants.

For example, he is a guy who loves to travel or make a career for himself. But he also wants a relationship with you.

So he doesn’t know anymore what are his feelings saying to him clearly. It might be a problem if he is seeing you though. As he won’t be able to grasp what you want from him. Like a serious relationship.

11. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore

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There is a possibility that a guy will keep you close because he doesn’t want to feel alone anymore. If he is taking you out on dates, taking you to movies with him, or amusement parks. Just wherever he goes, he takes you along like a partner.

After spending so much time, feelings might get the best of you and you might consider him a guy worth having a future with. But, if things don’t work out. You will be left alone and devastated after having so much fun and spending time with him.

There are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you and this is one of them.

12. He likes the sex from you, for enjoyment

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If you are dating a guy and having sex with him, it’s totally fine. Being intimate with a man you love early is okay. But it might make some things unclear about whether this relationship is casual or serious.

For women, sex is the most meaningful action they can give to a man. They might believe that the man has feelings for them.

But a man might act and think a bit differently. He is enjoying what you are giving to him and may take an advantage of your deep feelings.

Why would he feel like he is interested in having a relationship with you when he is getting what he wants.

13. He feels bored with you

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When a guy is in love with you, he won’t ever feel bored with you. If he is making himself busy deliberately and not giving you the time or love you deserve.

He is not a guy you should consider having a relationship with. Because he is thinking of just the same.

Men like these are the worst who get into relationships just to destroy a woman’s life. Disgraceful! First, they spend most of their time with you and when they get bored, they toss you away.

That’s hypocrisy. And you should stay away from that.

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14. He doesn’t see you being with another guy

When a woman is looking for someone, they look for a sign in a guy that he is capable, loving, kind, and trustworthy. Someone who will not take advantage of a woman’s feelings.

A woman wants a guy who never really uses her. A guy who takes interest in whenever she talks. And protects her from harm. But some men think of women as their possessions or playthings.

Men want what is theirs and they don’t like to share it with someone else. In this case, it’s you. You are not an object but a person. So, if he thinks of you as a woman who he can just play with, he obviously doesn’t care about or want a relationship with you.

15. He gets busier and busier with other things

No matter what, when you look for a long-term relationship with someone, you always want to be busy with the things that matter. Like You. If he is busy with his phone lately or loves to spend most of the time alone.

If he wants a serious relationship with you, they will make time for you. He will phone you, ask about your friends and your day.

If you see no effort has been put by him or doesn’t make time for you anymore. Then it raises a red flag that he is only wasting your time.

16. He doesn’t want to hurt you

Nice guys still exist in this world. A man who has strong feelings or is emotional also roams around you. A man who knows what words can do to the other guy. Every time he tries to say something, he thinks twice. Why? To not hurt your feelings.

There might be signs he doesn’t want to hurt you by saying the honest truth. You probably shared your feelings with him but he could not imagine hurting you or tell you that he is not interested.

It might be that the signs are not so obvious and let’s say he is a nice guy after all. And if it seems like you got a hint that he just simply can’t tell you anymore, then be there to understand him.

He might just be scared to give you pain because of Karma. His intentions might be not bad, just that he is only keeping you around because he can’t find it easy, to be honest about it. He doesn’t want to break your hurt or break your trust. He just can’t make an effort every time you tell him how you feel.

17. He was friends with you at first

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Life is complicated sometimes. It takes time to fall in love with someone and dating is one way to find someone.

But a friendship can also turn into a relationship. There are many couples who were best friends first before going on a love journey. Probably the signs were there that you decided to accept this part of your life. But friendships can also be severed by misunderstandings. And thus love too. Probably he doesn’t need you anymore like being committed or probably he wants to search for a fix about this but can’t. He’s tired and stuff. The reasons can be many, but cruel.

If you are in this type of situation then it’s probably he wants to keep you around just because he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend.

18. He is the controlling type

The signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you are quite many. But finding the one most related to you can be quite hard. If you are looking for signs then let me ask you, is he the controlling type?

Is he so overly protective of you? Does he follow you everywhere even on the internet? Does he stalk you? Signs like these show he does not respect your privacy or boundaries. He wants to manipulate you into thinking that he’s your only one. Which he is not!

19. He is dependent on you

If your man is lazy, unemployed, has no passion for work. And the woman is his financial support then he is only keeping you for the money problems.

You are giving him a leeway to do whatever he demands. If you feel you are the only one paying for food, rent, whatever. If his needs of socializing are filled by your pocket only, then he’s only keeping you around just for money.

20. He shows signs of cheating

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Commitment requires trust and honesty. But it can also play a card against your partner. He might show signs he doesn’t want you anymore by making you jealous deliberately.

It might be true or not, only he will know. But he will try to hurt you.

Dates after dates, things get serious and the truth comes out. You find yourself baffled and confused. All he cared about was how to break your precious heart. He is not a man! Life means a joke to him. A guy like that doesn’t deserve to be called a man.

21. He is scared of change

Not accepting and applying changes are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore.

He loves the way it is, the casual sex, the talking, the dating, no sign of seriousness or whatsoever. He is enjoying the current situation and doesn’t want to act on changing things.

He is not willing to talk about life and serious topics and tries to avoid the commitment talk.

22. He loves to date other women

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What you need is something serious but the guy you love is a player. He is indecisive about which woman is ” The one”. He doesn’t know anymore. A guy like him only keeps you around as his second option. He might say that you are his very best girl among many but don’t trust what he says.

If he is confused about commitment, he is not a man or guy you should really think to date.

23. He loves to flirt

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Some men just don’t want to commit. They are afraid of even the word itself because they just are the type who loves flirting with different women. He loves to talk with every woman he sees in sight. But is never serious about wanting a relationship. He repeats this all his life. All you can get from him are broken promises.

He may be just looking for sex or occasional flings.

Men like that should not be trusted from the beginning because they are the signs he doesn’t want to have anything serious with you. His act is just out of the place and connecting deeply is just a big NO for him.

But if it cannot be avoided then let it be a lesson for you. And you should just move on to find The One.

24. He’s not so responsible

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Some men may find it difficult to act like a responsible adult so early in a relationship. He might not be ready to take care of you yet. He might feel obligated to do so but it’s scary for him at first because taking care of someone is a huge responsibility.

Simply he is afraid of all the things that come with a relationship and he feels enjoying the time like now is already good enough for him.

If he keeps you around just for the sake of not taking responsibility in a relationship, then clearly the signs he doesn’t want anything with you is obvious.

⚪ Reasons why some men don’t want to commit ⚪

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► They are afraid of the new responsibilities

► They think what we have right now will be lost – the magic will fade

► They are clueless and don’t understand much

► They believe you will cheat on them

► They are afraid to lose you forever

🔵 Types of common relationship 🔵

There are many kinds of relationships that you can have with other people. The most common of them is friendship, Acquaintances, Sexual Relationships, Self Relationships, family relationships, etc. All have their own place in people’s lives. Some people might have just a few of them in all their life.

But if we talk about romantic relationships then we have different kinds of them. I will simply list them to let you have a better idea.

Casual relationship, Dating, Casual sex, Situation ship, Committed relationship, Romantic love, Compassionate love, etc.

A common relationship is basically having someone in your life who you can connect with either emotionally, spiritually, physically, or romantically. Friendship is the most basic one and others just branch out from this one.

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🔶 How to know if a man is truly interested in you 🔶

Signs. You have to look for signs in a guy to truly know that they are interested in you. When a guy is not only just the talk but about actions. A guy who holds up to the signs you are looking for in a man.

Does he get restless when your number does not show up on his smartphone all day? Is his favorite topic of talking about, You? Does he make excuses just to find time for you? Does he say he loves you?

If a man makes you feel like you are the woman of his dreams if he thinks of you THE ONE and can’t get his eyes off you. He won’t hesitate to connect with you on a deeper level and is serious about having a future with you.

Then it’s obvious that the man is truly interested in you. Look for his signs of action. See how he act when you are around. Then you will be assured that his eyes were made only to see you only.

Those random smiles whenever he looks at you are the obvious signs.

🔷 Different types of dating 🔷

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We all know about online dating nowadays because of apps like Tinder. But what are some other types of dating that might be a help to you? Well, let me share them with you. Besides that, there are “Double Dates”, ” Group Dates”, “Speed Dating”, “Blind Dating”, “Casual Dating”, and ” Serious Dating”.

I think all of these are self-explanatory. They are all means of finding the ideal partner that you can have a future with.

🔶 Conclusions 🔶

Signs are the easiest way to know whether someone wants a relationship with you or not. If he shows any of the signs that I mentioned here then you already know the answer. Committing to someone requires a huge amount of trust, responsibility, and time. If you are in a situation where you don’t see something good for you happening then it’s not meant for you.

If he doesn’t want a relationship with you then ask for a reason. No one should destroy their future by being with someone who is definitely not serious about making you his girlfriend.

You are special and deserve someone who will give you the best kind of love.

🔰 Relevant Questions 🔰

Q: What to do when he doesn’t want a relationship with you?

A: Ask for a reason. If he doesn’t give you one, walk away. Because signs are there for you.

Q: Why do guys act so interested then pull away?

A: Because they objectify women, think of them as possession, and play with their hearts. Cruel!

Q: Do guys pull away when they catch feelings?

A: Most of them try hard, but that’s a rare case. That they pull away just because of feelings.

To confirm what he really feels and to know more about him, WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW!

Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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