20 Signs A Player Likes You and 7 Warning Signs That He’s Just Using You

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

20 Signs A Player Likes You and 7 Warning Signs That He’s Just Using You

Knowing what a player is up to is not as tricky as many think. When it comes to serious dating, our average attitude is always to avoid them.

Like they say, never say never.

It’s smart to check things up before you give him the cold shoulder.

If you have a player around you and you can’t tell his intentions, this piece will be of great help. In this article, I’ll be pointing your attention to 20 signs to know if a player likes you, 7 signs that he doesn’t, and 3 magical ways you can spot a player.

And trust me, this is different from the hogwash some of the so-called “dating coach” dumps on the internet. NOPE! All you’ll be reading here are proven signs.

Here we go!

⏹ Learn these 20 Signs a Player Likes You ⏹

Photo credit: relrules

1. You’ve proven it with time

In relationship psychology, the ability of a man to stay consistent with time is classical proof of true intentions. So, darling, run the “time” test.

Look, every relationship starts with numerous thrills and adventures – he buys you gifts, takes you out on romantic dates, bankrolls you often, and calls you almost every hour of the day. He does just anything to get the treasure in you.

If he’s a player, he will pull away once he gets what he wants; however, if he likes you, things will only get better with time. So, run the “time” test. Time proves all things.

I know some men play games a lot, but you have given it time and he still looks real and sincere, then he has come to love.

2. He’s always talking about his feelings for you

He’s always talking about his feelings for you
Photo credit: rawpixel

A guy who likes you can’t help verbalize his feelings for you. Apart from your first date, he’s ever anxious to fill your ears with good kinds of stuff: romantic love texts, heart-warming compliments, and all. He doesn’t just say it in your lone moments. He does the same and even more in public. My dear, there’s something to pay attention to here.

I know sometimes, that could also be a sign that he’s a game player; but look, that’s not always true. He might just want you to know how he feels about you. That said, don’t just take his word for it.

Here’s a quick check: does he make requests after complimenting you? This is what I mean:

This minute, he calls you “the woman of my dream,” and the next, he wants you in bed; there are chances he’s not true. It’s straightforward; a man who likes you would tell you how he feels about you without hoping to get some special treats in return.

3. He enjoys talking with you

He enjoys talking with you
Photo credit: pattiknows.

How is the flow when you are chatting? How is the bond?

When a man has a crush on a woman, and he’s true, he will always want to have deep conversations with her. One of the ways to spot a working relationship is the degree of emotional attachment.

The truth is, if he likes you, he will want to talk to you.

Are you still confused? Okay, wait.

What does he look like when you’re conversing?

What’s his average reaction when you tell him, “Bye?”

If he’s always extending how long you stay out on dates and makes inside jokes with you, it could be that he likes you, and he’s trying to build some good rapport.

4. He’s eager to introduce you to his close friends and requests the same from you

He makes all the moves in this world for you to meet his friends. And when you finally do, he goes romantic with his introduction.

He doesn’t just say, “Hey, guys, here’s Clara, my friend that I told you about.” Instead, he does so with a face full of excitement and affection. He mentions some of your noble behaviors that are melting his heart. Same way, he’s eager to meet your cycle too. He could even ask you to invite them over for a date. He does none of these for

If these describe him, there are high chance that he’s interested in you and wants to build a strong bond.

5. You’re in his plans

Here is one of the simplest ways to know men that would stay. They plan the future with their partners. Your conversations aren’t just about short-term concerns. He’s always wanting to go some miles further. He asks you what you’d want in an apartment, what names you’d like to give your kids, or your career plan. Sometimes, he makes jokes about seemingly simple things.

Here’s an example. He talks about how perfect a match you are because you both use the exact shoe sizes.

Does he do two or more of these?

If you answered “Yes,” then don’t just back out because he’s always been a player. He might be physically attracted to you this time. When an all-time player starts to include you in his plans, he might be ready to take things seriously with you.

That said, know when he’s making mouth just so he could get you in bed.

6. When he starts paying finer attention to details about you

A guy who likes you and wants to stay around for long will want to know you. I mean every single detail he could lay his hands on.

Details like your favorite color, artiste, TV show, and the like. It is just you. He is not paying attention to other women.

If you have some level of rapport already, he will start asking questions about those things. The shy ones would start following you stealthily on social media. He will treat every personal detail you share with him like a jewel of priceless worth. He doesn’t pay the same attention to others.

Either way that could signify that he is ready to be committed.

Watch him a little closer. Your personality might tick all the boxes of his dream woman, and he’s considering pitching his tent with you.

7. He is quick to accept wrongs

He’s quick to accept wrongs, even when he is not directly at fault. There are big chances that he’s willing to be committed.

Know this and know it well: all men want to be treated as heroes.

If the guy is ready to give all he has just to make sure things go well with you, take some chill, he might be true.


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8. His body language says so

His body language says so
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Did you know that expressing love is beyond reciting the age-long phrase “I love you” or sending love messages? It is way beyond that!

As the saying goes, actions speak louder than voice. He maintains eye contact. Look, body language – facial expressions, smiles, eye contact, touch, and the like are big game changers in relationships.

Here are a few questions.

Does he love to make body contact?

Is he fond of flashing smiles at you?

Does he buy you gifts?

If you answered “yes” to these and it’s clear that he’s not being flirty, you can take his words for it.





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9. He’s not particular about sex

A player’s top target is to get you on the bed. Know this and know peace.

Look, no matter how true a guy sounds or how innocent he looks, an uncontrollable quest for sex is a red flag that he only wants to use you and back out. The only time he gives back to you is after sex. That is a good sign he’s not in.

Mind you, I’m not saying the moment a guy talks to you about making love, he’s a player. Hell no!

All I’m saying is – before you tag a guy as a “player,” find out the motives behind all he is and does. If you see a green light after doing that, he might be ready to be committed.

However, if he wants to stay around and he’s not particular about sex, then he’s in. Catch him if he’s your spec.

10. When he’s jealously sighting you around another man

Have you watched the look on him whenever you are with another man, says a co-worker or an old friend? If he’s really into you and wants to be committed, he should be jealous or, at least, ask questions about him.

Don’t screw up. He is still a good guy. That is what every good partner will do.

Of course, a player could act similarly also.

But here’s the distinction: a man with true intentions won’t mind pulling away if your closeness with other men makes him feel insecure and you are unwilling to find a fine balance.

Except if he’s a crazy player, he won’t even threaten to call it to quit. He knows he’s got nothing to lose in the long run.

11. A dating coach affirms it

Don’t do it all alone; check with a relationship expert. At times, due to desperation and maybe obsession, we miss it in our judgments. Before you tag him your “Prince charming,” hear an expert out. Let them know how it all started and what moves the guy has made.

If it’s a “yes” for them, then he truly likes you.

12. He goes out of his way to satisfy you

Photo credit: pexels

A man who genuinely likes you will do all he can to just so you’re fine.

He’s always available through thick and thin. He’s prompt to come to your aid when you need help, even if it means going out of his way. He’s always around to provide emotional support for you.

The truth is, he enjoys being your hero. Have you heard about “hero instinct?” Every man has it. They want to be protective.

A man who would go out of his way to satisfy you doesn’t look like a passer-by.

However, the fact that he seems caring or bank-rolls you isn’t enough to conclude that he likes you. NO!

If you don’t get into a rush, time will eventually prove what he’s up to. Wait till you’re sure he does so cheerfully and consistently. 

13. He is not secretive

All players are secretive. Know this and know peace.

If you think he is a player, but he is always open to you, don’t you think there’s a problem with your judgment?

He has an ugly past, true. But what if he wants to set things right with you?

Look, even if you’ve always known him to be flirter, the fact that he’s daring the consequences to share his past with you is a sure sign that he is willing to be committed.

He doesn’t hold fast to his smartphone when you are together. You have unrestricted access to all he has. Those are not mixed signals, he likes you.

14. He doesn’t give you the crumbs of his time; he loves to spend time with you

He’s a busy businessman or actively engaged with his career, yet he makes time to be with you. He doesn’t spend his “spare” time with you; he instead plans you into his activities.

Listen. A man sharing his precious time with you is a clear sign that he likes you and wants to stay.

Just in case you don’t know, his tight schedule is enough reason to blank out and chase other women. At least, no one would question that he’s busy.

True lovers don’t yell “I am busy” at their crush. If the guy is available, there’s a huge chance he wants a serious relationship.

15. He can’t help complimenting you

It seems he can’t help expressing his admiration in words. He showers you with praises every now and he doesn’t do the same to other girls.

That could be a sign of sincerity too. You’re probably muttering, “But can’t a player do the same just to make me think he truly likes me?” Of course, he can, and I will tell you how to tell the difference in a second.

Know this; complimenting people says two things. First, you’ve been paying good attention to details about them; secondly, those traits have melted your heart.

A guy who likes you won’t be casual or flirtatious with his compliments. Rather, he’ll speak well of your character and make you see what a great match you’ll be without being demanding.

16. He loves to communicate with you

Apart from regular greetings and exchanging pleasantries, what more do you both talk about? If he’s serious about dating you, he’d want to have you as a gist partner.

And that’s not difficult to detect.

He’ll often call, and chat you up on social media. He could even bring up personal issues about his career, work, business, or family. He’ll ask you questions too.

If you’re colleagues at work, he’ll work his ass into being in the same team as you.

He’s trying to be a friend.

My dear, he knows exactly what he wants. Friendship and attraction grow more when you both can communicate well.

So, if the guy ticks this box, he might be crushing on you and want to get serious. Here is my relationship advice: give him a chance. He’s not just a friend.

17. Everything keeps getting better

All real dates start big.

He might be like just a guy friend at the start. You’ll get to meet every day. Sometimes, you’d get nervous that you would rehearse what to tell each other. Again, you don’t want to appear desperate.

And in this case, where you’ve known him to be a player, it will take a while before you build that trust in him.

That said, if he truly likes you, the chemistry, rapport, and trust should get better. You should make good progress with time.

After being together for a few weeks, your relationship should have escaped the regular casual “Hi, how’re you today?” to something deeper.

Do you get what I’m saying here at all?

You should be relating like best of friends who can discuss anything and trust each other more. Things won’t grow if he has bad intentions.

18. Your mind tells you so

At times, the human mind unconsciously reads and interprets actions and inactions. The mind is just that powerful.

However, this is not absolute; you will still have to double-check with other signs.

But if you have some positive notions that he is not playing games, there are chances that he is not.

So, after hearing him out and giving it some thought, what does your mind say to you about him?

Mind you, one could easily get biased if you keep telling yourself that he is a player. What if he’s ready for a committed relationship this time?

Take away his words, gifts, and all he does from your mind and take a peek at what is in there.

19. He’s not in a relationship

Players don’t date one woman. I’m sure you know that too.

Don’t just take his word for it. Make some findings yourself.

If you have access to his smartphone, check through his call history and chats. You can also follow him up on social media, and embark on august visits.

You should get a hint one day if he is just playing you.

Quick warning:

Be smart in all your moves. Else you might end up shooting yourself in the leg.

What am I saying in essence?

If he pulled away from other girls for your sake, and he’s not going back to any of them, my dear, he’s madly in love with you.

There is something different about you that he has noticed, and he probably wants a real relationship this time.

20. He won’t give up even when you keep saying NO

Whether you’ve been friends for long or he just jumped into you, it takes a sincere man to be consistent. You’ve told him you’re not interested, yet he keeps telling you how much he likes you. You went further to let him know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will change your mind, and he turns that into a motivation to try harder. He sees other guys coming for you and he still won’t back down.

If these describe him, my dear, don’t snooze. It doesn’t matter how many women he’s cheated on before; he has found a treasure in your person, and he won’t mind how long you keep him waiting before saying “yes.”

⏺ 7 Warning Signs That A Player Is Just Using You ⏺

If you sense a guy is playing you and you need to be sure, here are 8 signs to watch out for.

1. He gets really upset when you ask him a simple normal question

He gets really upset when you ask him a simple normal question
Photo credit:gettyimages

When you ask him simple questions that would give you an instant snapshot of his personality, it’s really scary and discomforts him. He just doesn’t want you to know anything about him or little information about his whereabouts.

We truly understand that privacy is paramount. Nobody should intrude on anyone in the name of a relationship. But it would be brilliant to know at least who we are dating. And he is always hiding his life and previous love life details from you. That’s a way too big a red flag that he’s a player, and he wants to eat your cookies and disappears afterward.

2. There is always something fishy about him; he promises to do something and then wiggles out

He just isn’t a consistent person. Listen, when a guy is just catching a cruise with you, look at what he does. He makes sure to send you on a wild goose chase. So that you will never where you stand with him, even the following day is not promised. It’s called the HOT and COLD game.

This minute, he promises to take you out on a date; the next minute, he’s canceled it already, giving flimsy excuses His words don’t match his actions.  And most times, he is not even remorseful about his inconsistency and doesn’t even plan to change his ways.

This very act from him is just enough to tell you that a player is using you.


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3. The relationship is centered on sex

The relationship is centered on sex
Photo credit:gettyimages

He just doesn’t give a rat bum about anything in your life except sex. The only thing that thrills him is bonking you. We all know that sex is something that happens in every healthy relationship. It’s ok if your boyfriend wants to have a taste of your body because if he doesn’t make demands for that, you would think he is probably getting it from somewhere else.

But a guy always demanding and having an entire relationship based on sex is just plain unattractive and shows he’s a player who’s using you.

So, when it is just sex, sex, and sex, RUN!

4. He Just Doesn’t Rate You 

That he has sex with you doesn’t mean he includes you in his life. He is just not interested in your beliefs, or opinions. He doesn’t give a rat bum about things you care about. He wouldn’t even mention you to his family and friends. He doesn’t share the most intense part of his life with you. Most things he holds dearly, he wouldn’t want you close to them.

Even relationship experts mentioned that when a man is truly interested in you, he won’t hesitate to show you off to everyone in his surroundings.

5. He Flirts With Everyone, Even In Your Presence 

He does show interest in girls in your very presence, talks, gets all smiley and touchy and sees nothing wrong with that. When you raise your concerns, he will threaten to replace you or throw a tantrum.

This shows he doesn’t love and respect. And doesn’t care if the relationship works or not. A man who truly loves you wouldn’t want to do anything that would tear your self-esteem down. It would be dumb, ridiculous, and disturbing to remain in a relationship with such a playboy.

6. He avoids answering calls in your presence 

The guy will be fully absorbed in his phone, but immediately you ask him who is texting or talking to, he will drop his phone or avoid answering your questions. When his phone rings in your presence, he will go out to answer or even ignore the phone call.

7. He is always vague about his activities 

You seriously need to pay attention when a guy you are dating is always skipping details. He will avoid mentioning concrete people, places, or time frames and keep it all secret, vague, and fuzzy.

🧿 Ways to Spot a Player 🧿


Ways to Spot a Player
Photo credit: gettyimages

Being deceived by a player is a choice. That sounds too good to be true, right? Here are 3 simple ways to spot a player.

⫸ He hates when you get direct and confrontational 

When you demand to know certain things concerning your relationship and what the next level is like, he flares up. He can’t stand having any form of a difficult conversation with you. He can’t have a conversation that demands what his plans are in that relationship to avoid wastage of your time. Well, you must be confrontational, don’t be scared of having difficult conversations as it will save you from many issues. You must know that a guy who avoids having a difficult conversation with you is a big fat player.

⫸ He is not interested in knowing vital details about you and your family

Here is what a healthy process looks like …. it simply involves getting to know each other intensely. Your beliefs, values, likes, dislikes, etc. If he solely focuses on just having parole of fun with you and not showing interest in things that truly matter, girl, you seriously need to keep your eyes peeled. He constantly uses phrases like…I am just having fun, or I am not looking for anything serious. Sis! It’s time to back off. It’s as clear as daylight that you are dealing with a player.

⫸ He has lied to you 

I hope you know that players have an advanced penchant for lying and deceiving their partners.

If you have noticed that your partner is always telling lies, even when you find out, he will try to gaslight you. Any guy who has a habit of telling you lies is a player. He only wants a taste of your cookie. He is not serious. It would be brilliant if you dump his lame ass before it’s too late.

🧐 Conclusions 🧐

Now that you’ve read through, I’m sure you know what side of your bread is buttered already. As I told you earlier, the person you’ve always known to be a player could stay committed if you give him a chance. And of course, a good number of them will not. So, before giving a player a “yes or no,” check through all the signs again.

🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔

❓ How do you tell if a guy is a player through text?

He will hit strong and might ask for your sex picture.

❓ How can you make a player fall for you?

Keep him fascinated, but don’t chase him.

❓ Do players have feelings?

Yes, players are heartbreakers; but they have feelings too.





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Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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