Why I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him? 13 Reasons to Know and 11 Ways To Stop It

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

Often enough, you come across a person at a coffee shop or a friend’s get-together, and suddenly all your attention gets stuck to him.

You start thinking about him and keep thinking till the point where it becomes an obsession. You cannot figure out whether it’s a crush, love, or something beyond that. Relatable, right? Well, it happens to many women out there.

However, the feeling is quite confusing, where you fail to figure out why you cannot stop thinking about this guy. You start backing your thoughts with reasons like it could be that moment in your life when you are ready to fall in love, or it’s just a passing fancy.

But it’s inconvenient when a part of your brain is constantly thinking about someone, and you cannot focus on anything else.

If you are a woman and this is your story, then this article is for you. Here we’ll try to decode and analyze 13 reasons why you cannot stop thinking about a guy.

The article will also cover 11 helpful ways for you to stop thinking about a guy completely. Let us start by saying that it’s completely normal to feel like that.

🤔 Here are 13 reasons why you cannot probably stop thinking about him. 🤔

1. You Might Be Physically Attracted To Him

When you start to like someone, it could be because of a mental connection as well as a physical attraction. In your case, the scenario might be physical solely.

You might be only physically interested in him. You just want to fulfill all your lustful desires and dirty fantasies with him.

It can also be that your sexual encounter with him was so good that you have been attracted to him. Now, you can’t stop thinking about him mainly because your body and mind are still desiring him.

Another possibility can be that you two never had an intimate encounter, but you want to get close to him so much that his thoughts always stimulate you.

Again, at times you fall for a man for all the wrong reasons. Maybe you don’t like him as a person but the thought of getting dirty with him drives you crazy.

2. You’re Just Sexually Aroused

Well, sexual drive is something that we cannot resist. It comes naturally and you can hardly achieve any control over it. Maybe, you have seen this guy for a couple of weeks and started liking his company. It’s not that you love him or trying to get serious with him.

But you cannot wash him off your mind simply because you are sexually aroused at this moment. In such a situation, it appears impossible for you to avoid thinking about him.

See, as humans, we all go through those sexually hyper-active phases and it’s completely normal. When a person gets horny, it gets difficult to turn the fire off.

Maybe you are also going through a similar phase of life. But be sure that once your sexual charge is down, your emotions will also pass. However, it entirely depends upon you how you will react to your feelings in such a case.

3. It Can Be Your Infatuation

In some cases, when women think too much about a guy, maybe it is not real love. In such a case, when you can’t stop thinking about this guy, it might be your infatuation.

Maybe as a person, you find him very interesting, and that’s why you can’t stop dreaming about him.

Possibly, you are aware of the fact that your relationship with him might not work out in the long run. And deep down inside, you know that you are not at all serious about him.

But still, you can’t stop yourself from getting attracted and curious about him and his personal life.

In such cases, your feelings are mostly temporary. Eventually, you will get out of it. However, initially, you might get bothered about your state of mind.

Your Infatuation
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4. He Is Confusing You

Generally, most women easily understand a man’s feelings just by his signals. But in some cases, they might fail to decipher these feelings because the guy is simply confusing.

You might be facing a similar scenario. Therefore, it is getting on your nerves.

And since you are waiting for some more signals, you are continuously thinking about him and his feelings towards you. You might even start to analyze everything he does because you want your answer.

However, if the guy is continuously confusing you, then possibly you are not fulfilling his expectations. Or the guy might want to measure the magnitude of your patience and curiosity. Thus, he keeps on confusing you even more with his gestures.

5. You Have Started Growing Feelings For Him

This is a quite common situation where you might find it difficult to get him off your brain. When a woman can’t stop thinking about a guy, she might have feelings for him.

We’re not saying that this is the only possibility. But there could be a chance that you are in love with him.

Maybe, whenever you two met, you felt a unique connection that would flow further into a potential relationship. Thus, you have started to think about him more often.

Or perhaps, he has given you certain signals that made you think that he loves you. And now you can’t stop thinking about him. Yours can also be an unrequited love where the feeling is not mutual.

Whatever may be the reason, now you are in love and keep thinking about him as a life partner.

However, in case you wonder why love has such an effect on our brains, well, scientifically speaking, it all comes down to a chemical named dopamine, induced in your brain. Thus, it’s all a game of hormones.

Feelings For Him
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6. You’re Desperately Looking For Love

There are real-life scenarios where you go all desperate looking for love.

It can happen when you just had a fallout. You feel lonely and need someone to share your feelings with. In the end, all of us require someone to talk to, discuss our insecurities, or share the day’s experiences, right?

Or perhaps, you might be reaching an age where your body is becoming mature sexually. In such cases, it doesn’t matter whether you have any previous experience of love relationships. Your hormones will push you to indulge in intimate discussions or perhaps romantic hookups.

In such cases, you end up constantly thinking about the guy that is in your mind.

Perhaps, you even know in reality the love won’t last long and you two won’t stand the test of time together. But your mind uses him as a romantic gateway to fulfill loneliness or carnal desires.

7. You’re Not Sure About This Guy

Just like a woman, a guy can also be mysterious and puzzling. Even though many of them come across as simple at times, you may find it difficult to decode their intentions.

When you date a guy you try to know him as a person. You tap into his inner emotions and try to understand his feelings, intentions, and motivations. If he comes across as a mysterious entity, then it becomes difficult to fend him off your mind.

A spate of unanswered questions and unsolved puzzles catch your mind and you end up thinking about him all the time.

8. Your Relationship With This Man Is Making You Confused

Generally, when we get into a relationship with someone, various thoughts circulate in our minds. This is a pretty common scenario and happens to many people. So, in this case, you might also be experiencing relationship anxiety.

See, we understand that you two like each other, and that’s why this relationship came into existence. But perhaps you are unsure about this relationship because of his lack of genuine feelings.

Moreover, you might be wondering about the possible outcomes of this relationship. You could get worried about your future with this guy, or whether your parents will accept him or not.

All these confusing thoughts scattered in your brain can make you go boggled and you end up thinking about him all day long.

9. You Like To Daydream A Lot

For most people, indulging in romantic fantasies is the perfect way to escape reality and engage in irrational ideas. You too can fall into that category of people who like to daydream a lot.

Guess what is the most favorite topic for a girl to indulge in daydreaming? Yes, it’s about love. Suppose you’ve met a guy at some random party and your friend introduced you to him.

If the guy managed to catch your first impression, then it’s your turn to fetch it further in your daydreaming frame. You can get into picturing him in the best way possible. He becomes the romantic escape route that would potentially keep you detached from all the mundane realities.

You probably know in your mind that this is not going to shape into reality. But as long as your mind is getting all the food for pleasure and happiness with this guy, you are fine with it.

As we all know, daydreaming is a great way to escape reality. So naturally, thinking about this guy could make you feel better.

Or maybe, your life at this point is boring and desperately needs some action. Thus, this guy is your escape route in your fantasy world.

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10. You’re Concerned About The Possible Future With This Man

As humans, we always like to imagine our upcoming days happier and better. It’s logical if you think of having an understanding lover who would make you feel special forever.

But things can turn out to be all different in reality. The person might not be caring enough or he might have traits that you find annoying.

Hence, you start getting concerned about the coming days with this man in your life. You are unsure of whether you’ll be happy with him or not.

Such skeptical ideas can take a toll on your mind and you might keep on thinking about him and the coming days with him.

11. In Your Mind, You’re Portraying Him A Better Person

This one is a bit more complex. In your mind, you have imagined a guy that doesn’t exist in real life. No, we’re not saying that you have mental problems. Maybe, you don’t know much about this man that you’re currently seeing.

Thus, your mind is portraying him as the perfect man. Since he is the perfect man in your mind, you can’t stop yourself from having thoughts about him.

See, nobody is perfect, and imagining someone as perfect will eventually hurt your expectations.

Even if you two are in a relationship, your expectations will lead to a possible breakup.

12. You Broke up With This Guy

This is perhaps one of the most relatable points if you have gone through a fallout recently. If you wonder why you still think of him when you don’t love him anymore, well, here’s the answer. It doesn’t matter, as long as your relationship memories stay strong in your mind.

All those little moments you two spent together constantly remind you about him.

Perhaps, you are having second thoughts about the fallout and, therefore, missing him. In such a scenario, you can consider reconciling and speak to him about your current condition if possible.

Or if you are still holding grudges against your previous relationship, then also you can have constant thoughts about your ex.

13. He Doesn’t Have Feelings For You

As humans, we tend to chase something which is practically out of our reach. We have a hard time facing rejection in life. This can be another potential reason why you cannot forget him.

Suppose, you met him and felt a strong sense of emotional connection with him. He might not be on the same page with you though. It’s an unrequited situation. But since you are already weak on your knees, you cannot stop thinking about him.

Perhaps deep down inside, you also know the truth that chasing him doesn’t make any sense. But you keep on thinking about him.

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🙅 11 Ways To Stop Thinking About Him 🙅

Here we’ll discuss the 11 possible gateways that you can try while trying to stop thinking about him.

1. Indulge in Something Else

We understand that it is easier said than done. If your mind has saved someone inside, it’s quite difficult not to think about him at all. Therefore, indulging in something else seems to be a tough practice.

However, you can still try to focus on things and tasks that you enjoy, and that could keep your mind busy enough so that you don’t get time to think of him.

Many will call it a distraction. But what’s wrong with getting involved in a distraction that will keep your mind happy?

Indulging in other interesting activities could keep off the toxic triggers from your previous love relationship.

2. Don’t Try Too Hard to Stop Thinking

It becomes next to impossible to forget when you try too hard to fend him off your head. The only convenient way to get over him is to let time take charge. You should not make too much effort to stop thinking because you will get even more conscious.

Thus, it will be difficult for you to get over the constant rush of hormones that trigger your thoughts. Instead, try and shift your interests. Make your mind understand that it is a game of hormones.

Hence, making conscious efforts and trying too hard to forget will not help at all.

Stop Thinking
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3. Talk to the Guy Clearly

If it’s getting too hard for you to fend him off your mind, go ahead and speak to him about it. An honest communication could solve a lot of issues.

If he is someone with a genuine heart and intentions, he’ll listen to you and perhaps understand your mindset.

It can end up in two scenarios. One is, that you might find an honest love relationship in your life with true feelings and emotions.

Or, you’ll have the clarity and get over the obsessive phase in your life. In any way, you will feel much better and free.

4. Try Other Guys

If you want to get over him or forget him, try dating other guys. Remember, life gives you plenty of options and opportunities. It’s upon you how you treat those opportunities and what you make out of them.

Dating new guys will open the window of your heart and allow you to forget the one person that is stuck in your head for no reason. Dating will even help you understand the perspectives of men.

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You might come across someone who would blow your mind, and you end up falling in love all over again. Thus, you’ll find a new partner and forget about the unwanted person.

5. Take Professional Advice

Many of us go through mental traumas and turmoil with confusing emotions regarding someone we cannot wash away from our brains.

Even after a breakup, it is sometimes difficult to avoid thinking about that relationship. Feel free to take professional advice in such cases.

A relationship advisor or a therapist could help your brain discover why you feel lonely and think about some random person. It often helps to deal with things that hurt you. It could even help you find true love.

6. Take Time to Travel

When it comes to women, there’s a notion that they cannot travel alone. Feel free to break that stereotype and go out on solo trips. This will freshen up your mind and allow you some time to stop thinking about someone unworthy of your life.

It could be the person from your last relationship or a long-term dating partner you don’t want to stay hooked with anymore.

Traveling is that element in your life that will liberate your soul for good. You will find clarity in your head and be able to look at life and love from different perspectives.

7. Stay Away From That Guy

It happens quite often that you meet someone on social media or in real life, and you cannot stop thinking about him.

Then you stalk that man on all social media platforms and talk to him all the time to the point where he becomes your habit. Check that because this way, you’ll never be able to stop thinking about this guy.

To start with, you could simply stop checking his updates, and stories and move on with your life. Don’t contact him constantly now and then.

Go ahead with your normal routine and attain a healthy lifestyle instead of washing that man out of your head.

8. Prioritize Existing Relationships

Tell your brain that you have other important relationships too. Focus on those essential parts of your life while trying to find ways to stop thinking about that guy.

You might be thinking about how to prioritize existing relationships. You have to work towards making a healthy relationship with your surroundings.

Perhaps your girl squad hasn’t seen you for quite some time. Now that is one important relationship of yours. Take time to meet them and have fun.

Think about the family gatherings that you completely avoid every time there is an invitation. Now is the time to think, retrospect, and figure out.

Head out to meet them and search for happiness in boosting your relationship with your family instead of constantly thinking about someone who is not interested in you.

Prioritize Existing Relationships
Photo credit: Pexels.com

9. Indulge in Self Love

The best way to refrain from thinking about a man and getting him out of your head is to indulge in self-love.

Instead of brooding over your past and thinking about someone who is not interested in you, focus on building self-esteem. Talk to those friends who will help you overcome negative thoughts.

Search for ways to build confidence. Indulge in therapeutic hobbies that could bring out positive emotions, like reading, cooking, making artwork, etc.

Do meditation to achieve a healthy body and mind. Have fun to help your brain secrete happy hormones. Feel free to communicate and seek professional advice. Work towards building a happy future for yourself.

10.  Forgive Your Ex

It is possible that you had a recent breakup. The hurt and the lack of love might get stuck into your head for a long time, and that can keep you thinking about your ex-partner. Such thoughts are completely normal after a love relationship ends.

You might feel like asking a lot of unanswered questions to the person every time you think about him.

The best way to deal with such thoughts is to forgive the man and let go of him. Think about it as a sign of a brighter future.

Perhaps it is the only barrier in your head that couldn’t let you stop thinking about your bygone relationship.

Get over your past because it’s over. Break the negative thoughts of an unfulfilled love story. Forgive to forget. It will help you move ahead with someone who deserves your love and care.

Forgive Your Ex
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11. Avoid Imagining Picture-Perfect Stories

Many times, you meet someone and start imagining stories in your mind that revolve around him. You think of dating him, wish to get to the bottom, or even plan a family.

Such a mindset can destroy your mental peace, and you won’t ever be able to forget him.

Understand that it’s all in your mind. If you think you can exclude him from your fanciful thoughts. He is far from what you imagine him to be. He might not be a good partner as well. Things might turn different in reality, and there might be no love between you two.

😵 Am I lonely or just obsessed? 😵

This is a serious state of mind that might hit you when you meet someone new and cannot get him off your imagination.

Since you cannot stop thinking about him, you start getting skeptical about the phenomenon.

The possible reason can be a recent breakup. You are already lonely in your emotional sphere and cannot get him out of your brain.

This new person might have arrived to fill the void in your heart. Another reason might be a downright obsessive trigger.

It is not true love that plays a part here. You are simply obsessed with his charm, looks, or attractive features.

However, it’s up to your mind to read the sign and understand what it is. Think about it from an analytical perspective.

🥺️How to forget and forgive 🥺️

If you had a recent fallout from your previous relationship, it would seem difficult to get over your ex. If the love and bonding were strong, then it seems tougher to forget and move on. However, life still goes on.

You shouldn’t hold any grudge and be able to forgive. Once you do that, it’ll be easier for you to forget him and move on.

It might feel overwhelming initially to let go of the sweet memories. But you must realize that everything comes with an expiry date. If a relationship is not meant to work, it won’t work.

Hence, it’s better to let the bygone remain in the past and move on with your life. You can start by cutting all routes of contact with your ex to initiate the forgetting process.

🔥 What does it mean when you are in a relationship but can’t stop thinking about someone else? 🔥

If you are in a relationship and yet cannot stop thinking about someone other than your partner, it means that your existing relationship is not working well with you.

The relationship is not capable enough to hold you from looking at other prospective men.

It’s either that you don’t find the mojo in your existing love life like before or simply you’re bored with it. You think the true connection is missing between the two of you. Hence, you feel the urge to have a new destination and thrill.

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If you relate to the above situations and face internal dilemmas regarding a new man you cannot get over, this article will surely help you sort it out.

Read about the possible signs, mental turmoil, and the 13 reasons for which you’re not able to get over with a guy. Here are 11 possible solutions as well to help you through the situation.

Relevant Questions

Q: How would I know if he is thinking about me?

You know if he is thinking about you, he shows interest in you. If he wants to talk to you more often, shares secrets, messages you in the middle of work, or shows concern when you are sick, that means he is thinking and caring about you.

Q: What to do when you can’t stop thinking of someone?

You can indulge in other interesting activities. Go out and have fun with your bestie, or go tripping with your family. You can share your thoughts with a reliable individual and seek help from friends.

Other than that, you can gather confidence and walk up to the person to tell him what you feel. It might turn into a great love story; you never know.

Q: How do you know if it’s an infatuation?

Well, you can certainly differentiate between true love and mere infatuation. If you get over-possessive and think he is the only one for you, then it’s nothing but an infatuation.

Infatuation drags you away from rationality, and you end up seeing him as the ‘perfect guy.’

So, if you cannot stop thinking about him and perceive him as the best person in the world, it’s surely a growing infatuation.

Watch this video so you can get more ideas on what to do and know more about him HERE!

Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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