About Dumb Little Man
The swipes, the likes, the “dtf”, the “Netflix and chill”.
You’ve most likely got an email, a text message, or
Do you know why every man dreams of dating a
The swipes, the likes, the “dtf”, the “Netflix and chill”.
You’ve most likely got an email, a text message, or
Do you know why every man dreams of dating a
You’ve been crushing over this cute guy for a while now but don’t know exactly how to break it to him.
We’ve all been there! So it’s no biggie.
Telling a dude that you like him can be nerve-wracking, especially if you’ve been friends. Fear of the unknown also grips you because you are unsure if he likes you too.
You’ve tried to read between the lines to catch every sign that could indicate that he has feelings for you. But obviously, hearing it from the horse’s mouth is the ideal solution rather than decoding some mixed signals.
Ugh! Of course, you’ve got good reason to curl up into a ball. You’re anxious and somehow scared to confess your feelings.
It’s time to put on your big girl panties sister! The truth is if you don’t put yourself out there, you won’t be with the man of your dreams.
You may have dropped hints for him but we all know that guys are a bit clueless when it comes to reading body language and subliminal messages. So direct communication is the best way to go.
Here are some pointers to help you profess to your dream guy.
Table of Contents
There are lots of ways to tell a man that you like him. If you are afraid of walking up to him and talking about your feeling from the get-go, there are subtle ways to handle your business too.
It may take some work and patience, but when you begin with these things, sooner or later, the time will be right for you to confess your feelings. Besides, there is nothing more exciting than getting to know someone, especially if you discover you have a lot in common. So enjoy the ride!
If you tell him you like him without getting to know him first, you may scare him away. It’s best to start by being his friend first. Let him get used to you before you open up your heart.
That is why we said patience is key. If you tell him you like him way too early, you may come on too strong and ruin your chance of something more developing between the two of you. It is always best to test the waters at the beginning.
Some things to look out for at this stage include his personality, his interests and how he relates with you as friends.
Sometimes women get too used to getting compliments that they forget to reciprocate. It’s never hard to compliment a guy once in a while especially if it is genuine and doesn’t cut across as desperate.
If you think he is handsome, tell him. If that seems too forward for you, start by complimenting his eyes or intricate hair. Offering a compliment is a great way to step out of your comfort zone and letting him warm up to you.
Guys love it when they have a way to connect with you especially when you share common interests. So show more interest by doing what he loves to do but be yourself through all your actions. For example, if he is a baseball fan and you’re not, don’t lie that you are. But you could ask what his favorite team is or who his best player is. That will show that you are willing to personally connect with him.
The ultimate way to show your interest in a man is through your actions because they are the most genuine form of communication.
Look for ways to be in close contact with him, whether it’s by sitting next to him, leaning into him or asking him to dance with you.
Another way to get close to him is by taking photos together. This applies when you have known each other longer than one night. You should also ask him because some guys are not fun of camera shots.
Taking pictures shows that you want him in your life, which is a positive signal. Just don’t say “BFF selfie” when you’re taking it.
It’s hard to be vulnerable and trust someone sometimes, no matter how much you like him. We understand. But if your dude truly appreciates you, he won’t take you opening up to him lightly.
You can tell him about your dreams and goals in life or share a personal experience that you wouldn’t tell just about anyone. He will feel honored for the chance to see a deeper side of you and probably reciprocate with his vulnerability.
When you are with him, always make sure to smile. Guys are more intrigued by jovial and happy girls. Also, laugh at his jokes- and not the fake forceful laughter. Just be yourself- if he cracks you up, then laughs away girl!
Another way to be light-hearted is by being playful. You can innocently tease him by gently touching his arm or holding his hands. It’s a cool and fun way to show that you enjoy being around him. Make it fun and lively.
Being sweet and thoughtful is a great way to show him that you’re interested. Things like baking him his favorite cake or watching that show that reminds you of him. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or an expensive gift. It’s the thought that counts.
Even taking care of him or cooking for him when he is sick is a great way to go.
This one is a no-brainer. If you like a guy, you’ll want to look your best. Ensure your hair is clean and neat, put on your favorite cologne, and wear that cute and sexy outfit.
But don’t overdo it. You can’t dress like the queen of England for a casual hangout. Also, in that context, don’t be overly sexy, or else he’ll get the wrong idea that you want to seduce him. Just look beautiful and decent.
All these points that we have highlighted won’t make sense if your dream guy is already dating another girl. Unless your goal is to steal the guy from her, trust us- it’s not a good idea to get mixed up in someone else’s love life. Try asking his friends if he has a girlfriend or another form of love interest.
Do this to avoid embarrassing yourself on any level.
Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not. You want this guy to like you, and obviously, he’ll be attracted to the real you. We all have flaws and weaknesses. He does, and so do you. If you can get to know his imperfections and accept them, he can do the same too, if he likes you.
Being yourself helps you to assess whether he is worth the big confession or not.
Memorizing what you want to say before the D-day takes the edge off and makes you less nervous.
If possible, write out what you want to say to help ease some of the tension before coming face-to-face.
This is time to do some soul searching, and that’s why that it takes patience. Think about why you like him and what you feel for him. Is it infatuation or love interest?
Being his friend sometimes helps you distinguish what feelings you have for him. Your feelings for him may change over time, and this is okay.
After getting to know him, you may have found out that you don’t have much of anything in common, which certainly makes the love interest dwindle.
That is why we don’t recommend admitting your feelings straight away. It saves you regrets later on.
When all is said and done, the simplest way to show a guy you like him is telling him straight.
For example, you could say, “I like you, and I would love it if we spend more time together”. If you are bold, you can tell him, “I like you! Do you feel the same way for me?”
Being in person gives you the advantage of seeing his reaction instead of hitting him with a text.
If his response is encouraging, find out what next. Do you guys start dating? Figure out what you want and ask him. Have some tips and learn what you can ask him to know him better and to avoid awkward moments HERE!
The perfect time to tell him how you feel is in private. Telling him in public is only romantic when his answer is yes. Otherwise, you’ll just be embarrassed.
Of course, if he doesn’t like you back in private, it will hurt just as much, but at least there will be no one else to witness.
Things don’t always go as planned, especially love affairs. You need to be prepared for rejection. No one likes to be rejected, but when you think about it, it’s better to get everything off your chest than to bottle up your feelings and regret later that you never did something about it.
So take that risk and be ready for whatever comes after. In case he says no, think about how you’ll relate to him later.
The best thing is to be civil and tell him you would like to continue being friends without any hard feelings.
Just keep your heart and options open. In the future, things may change in your favor, particularly if you haven’t moved on from him.
Body language comes into play when you aren’t confident enough to come upfront about your feelings for your guy. However, remember that this only lays the groundwork for the final big confession. Eventually, you’re gonna have to tell him straight that you like him.
So, here are some body languages to subtly tell that special dude how you feel about him.
Smiling and having fun with your crush shows him that he makes you happy and you enjoy your time together.
Furthermore, people always subconsciously want to be around smiling counterparts because it makes them happier. Smiling also encourages your dude to let his guard down and just cherish his time with you.
So if you smile a lot, your crush will feel more at ease and get to know you better because he is more relaxed around you.
As much as you may shy or blush when he looks into your eyes, making eye contact lets him know how much you like him.
Try to establish eye contact as much as possible when conversing with him. As long he doesn’t feel awkward neither is the eye communication forced, go ahead and maintain the gaze.
Eye contact allows for more connection during your intimate talks. Therefore, try to look into his eyes more rather than other areas of his face or body, no matter how sexy his biceps might be!
Leaning into him shows that you are attentive to what he is saying and that you want him closer to you physically. On top of that, leaning forward enables better eye contact.
But be relaxed and calm through it all. If he senses that you are tensed, the moment will feel awkward and weird between both of you.
Sitting or standing closer to him creates a personal and intimate aura. However, don’t get too close or else he may feel uncomfortable unless he pulls you closer, which is better for you because you desire to be in his arms, right?
Even while dining out, ensure you sit next to him instead of opposite him to avoid crossing boundaries by invading his space.
Having his favorite on you is both sexy and shows that you are crushing over him. It’s a subtle way of letting him know that you are turned on by him.
Besides that, it indicates that you want him to notice you and acknowledge your presence.
Bet you’ll be over the moon when he notices that you’re wearing his best color!
But don’t overdo it. This is something you do once in a while and not every day lest you want him to think you’re a creep.
Touching his hand expresses that you’re serious about spending time with him and getting to know him better.
Try lightly to touch his arm or hand during the conversation to show that you are attracted to him, and you feel a special connection between the two of you.
Try not to seem too pushy. When both of you are comfortable, you will just know when the time is right to touch him.
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Touching your hair is a common way of flirting with a guy.
It is, therefore, more than an innocent act because it shows him that there could be something going on between you two.
Try not to touch too much because it seems fugitive and may portray anxiety or insecurity.
Sharing your snacks with a guy you like is so intimate and allows for feelings of togetherness. Offer him a bite of what you are eating too. He’ll love it, and it will strengthen the bond between the two of you.
Usually, the best time to do this is when watching a movie or just chilling while listening to some tunes.
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Getting a guy you like a gift can be very powerful. But, please, ladies, don’t go overboard with this technique. You don’t want to get an expensive gift at this point. Also, socks and boxers are better reserved for husbands.
The best gifts to give him at this point are small things that show you are thinking of him. For example, you can buy him his favorite candy bar or get him movie tickets.
Make an effort to look nice and smell lovely whenever you’re around him. Let your nails are clean (not necessarily painted) but neat, and wear outfits that make you feel sexy, confident, and feminine. The goal is to get him to notice you and think of you in ways other than a basic friend.
This doesn’t mean that you wear stilettos and a figure-hugging dress to a baseball game with him. Just dress for the occasion and be yourself.
He’ll notice that you care about your looks.
Also, if you aren’t comfortable with heavy makeup, don’t try it just to impress him. Let him like you for who you are. Besides, lots of guys appreciate natural looks and light makeup more than heavy makeup.
Finally, try wearing some lip gloss and applying it when you are with him. This will make him notice your lips.
The more you flirt with your crush, the more he’ll be confident that you like him. Start with subtle flirtation before advancing to something more obvious.
The following are examples of easy subtle ways to flirt:
Girls, you can complement a man without making it too obvious that you’re into him.
If you like the color of his shirt or he got a new haircut, simply tell him that he looks nice. Or if he’s good at something like cooking, let him know that he is good at it.
This may not be a subtle hint, but it’ll do the trick. You can ask if he’s crushing on anyone or talk about what qualities he’s looking for in a relationship partner.
Be careful with this one though. Let him see that you are inquiring about your interest, not because you want to talk about his love life as a friend.
Once you get closer to the dude (after hanging out a few times) don’t be scared to gently touch his arm or shoulder, especially if he made a joke. If it feels right, give him a big warm hug when you meet up or when you part.
Breaking the touch barrier will let him see that you desire him. But first, make sure he wants to touch you too and that he doesn’t feel awkward.
For instance, if you just came back from strenuous physical activity, such as hiking, offer him a back rub or massage. If he’s into you, he’ll accept, and he’ll appreciate how good you make him feel.
Casually hint to him that you’re open to dating someone and that you look forward to being in a relationship. Don’t sound like you are too desperate to have a boyfriend.
You can open up about the qualities you’re looking for in a partner, and highlight some of the things that you like about him.
Getting him to ask you out is a great way to hint that you like him. Simply casually mention how your schedule looks like and see if he will ask you to do something with him when he knows you’ll be free.
Use your common interest to your advantage. You can suggest attending an upcoming event that you’d both enjoy.
You could also mention that you’re bored or don’t have any plans since all your friends are busy. If he likes you, he’ll suggest an activity you can do together.
Being the first to tell a guy that you want to be more than just friends can be scary. Those nerve-wracking moments before you express your feelings can be enough to make you take to your heels.
But telling him how you feel doesn’t guarantee you a good relationship, or a relationship at that.
So here’s how you can muster your confidence to open yourself to your crush.
Being anxious or nervous doesn’t mean you’re not confident. So when those nerves kick in, it’s easy to think that you are not up to it.
When nervousness takes over, all feelings of confidence go out of the window.
But just know that those nerves simply mean you’re doing something new, which makes you feel uncomfortable. However, trusting yourself by putting your feelings out there in that experience is confidence in itself.
So you should be happy about doing this!
Sometimes when you know, you know, right? But in some cases, you can be confused about the right time to tell your guy you like him.
Telling him when he is half asleep or drunk or sick isn’t the best way to go.
You need to be relaxed and have some privacy. On top of that, he needs to be conscious enough to think about what you’re going to tell him.
The best cases are when you are both engaged in an activity such as taking a walk, having coffee or dancing.
At that moment when you feel your confidence disappearing, simply think about how that goddess version of you that’s buzzing with self-confidence would go about it.
When you’re at the top of your game, you feel more relaxed and at ease, which makes the flow of things so much simpler.
Just remind yourself from time to time that you are naturally confident.
Don’t spread yourself too thin by trying to engineer a place, time, or a particular situation to express your feelings for your dream boat.
In reality, those expectations might be difficult or complex to execute.
Just keep it simple! Even something like, “Hi. Want to go to the movies with me tomorrow?” will do the trick.
What’s your reason behind your attraction to him? Is it because he is devilishly handsome and charming? Or is it because you have so much in common and he brings out the best in you?
Whatever reason, don’t tell him you like him because of what he can do for you. Tell him that you want to share more with him because you admire who he is and you’re curious about what you could be to each other.
Your palms are sweaty, your heart thumps, and there are butterflies in your stomach.
There is no way to express your feelings for a guy without a little discomfort.
The very essence of this is that you’re willing to take a risk, and inherently risk-taking requires stepping out of your comfort zone.
So don’t get hung up on feeling awkward because it’s simply a natural phenomenon!
Vulnerability needs discomfort, and that’s simply okay!
Have you ever wanted to say the perfect thing at the perfect time, but nothing went according to plan? We’ve all been there so don’t worry.
Just as there is no perfect time, there’s no perfect thing to say at any given time. So, trust the words that roll out of your tongue, which include stammers, stutters, and stumbles.
Better to say something than nothing at all!
Thinking too much leads to overthinking and all. Just be in the moment and focus on expressing your feelings first.
Forget about the possibility of you being in a relationship with this guy, falling in love, getting married, or growing old together.
On the other hand, don’t think about negativities such as him breaking your heart and getting a divorce.
One step at a time girl! What matters for now is your next choice.
You can open up about yourself- your passion, hopes, and dreams. You can also choose to tell him about something that made you think of him, perhaps a show that you both love.
A moment in time rib-cracking incidence of pure indulgence helps to take the edge off.
As long as you share something that matters, you are good to go! It makes opening up more natural.
If you’re waiting for the “perfect” opportunity, it will never come. There is no such thing as the perfect time.
Waiting forever makes you miss the best moments and opportunities. Remember that finding an imperfect moment to tell him how you feel is better than waiting for the right time that never comes.
Just be yourself when interacting with your crush. You don’t want to begin your relationship based on lies and pretending to be someone you’re not.
Often the easiest topics to talk about with your crush are things of similar interests. This lightens the mood and helps you relax.
Touching someone demonstrates closeness. So a common way to express your feelings for a guy is to break the touch barrier.
Light touches are the best to subtly get your message across without coming off too strong.
For example, if you are sitting next to him, lightly touch his upper arm or casually let your feet or knees touch and smile to show your feelings.
Just a little body language alerts your crush that you like them.
Touching him lightly once or twice during a conversation is enough to tell him you have feelings for him.
Expressing your feelings via a text is easier than having to verbalize them. However, as mentioned before, text communication deprives you of an immediate reaction or response.
However, if you opt for this mode, begin your text by stating your motive. For instance, you can say, “I’ve enjoyed getting to hang out with you these past few months.”
A more impactful and sweet way to express your feelings is to write a letter. It may be old school compared to Facebook and WhatsApp messaging but it is more sincere and shows that you put in more effort. Because of going the extra mile, your gesture seems more appealing to your crush.
It’s never that serious! So start your text or letter on a usual note by stating some inside jokes that the two of you share or recapping your fun times.
From there, you can dive into business. Explain your reason for writing, then confess your feelings for him.
Keep it short and sweet. You don’t want to get into details about why you like him before knowing his response first.
This is ultimately the best way to express feelings for your crush. Select a place that is distraction-free where it would be appropriate to talk privately. Establish eye contact and begin to express your feelings.
Start by making small talk rather than jumping right into the serious talk.
You can offer him some compliments while expressing your feelings. For example: “I like you a lot. You are so funny, and you always crack me up.”
After telling him how you feel, allow him some time to react and digest what you have said. Don’t expect an immediate response, but if he responds immediately, the better for you.
Once you put yourself out there, his answer can either be yes or no.
Without a doubt, if he likes you back, you will be excited. It’s okay to be excited at this point. You can then talk about what next. Will you start dating? How will you continue relating with one another?
On the other hand, if he doesn’t like you back, just be mature and say something like, “I hope we can continue being friends.”
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Starting a conversation with your crush can be nerve-wracking. There are so many expectations, and you’re feeling the pressure.
But if you can gather enough courage to go for it, the outcome can be worth it.
We’ve outlined some easy-to-follow tricks and tips for striking up a meaningful conversation with the guy you like.
If you just moved into his neighborhood, you can kick off by saying, “Hi! I’m Anna, and I’m new here.” He’ll also introduce himself and luckily ask you follow-up questions such as where you lived before moving to the neighborhood, what you like about the place, and so on.
A better incidence, he will ask you for your contact. This gives you the chance to keep interacting via texts or phone calls and hopefully arrange your next meeting.
You are an independent woman we know. You can change your flat tire and fix your plumbing. But men love to help women because they’re biologically wired to do so.
So it is good to engage the damsel in distress routine to get the conversation flowing. For example, you can ask him to help you with some heavy luggage.
Adore his manly strength after he helps you out. It will boost his confidence and make him feel more comfortable around you, enabling the conversation to flow more smoothly.
Also, smile and thank him for assisting you. He’ll be ready to jump the hoop to help you the next time around.
Don’t play the damsel in distress too often. Otherwise, you’ll cut across as helpless or desperate for attention.
You want to earn his respect as well.
Questions are awesome conversation starters, especially if you are feeling a little shy, as they offer an opportunity to talk with the dude under the pretense of seeking details.
Try to avoid yes/no questions as they block conversations and lead to awkwardness.
Ask questions that will force him to think about the answer or at least answer you with more than a monosyllabic response.
Let him take charge of the conversation for a while and listen.
In case you didn’t notice, guys tend to like the sound of their voices.
Acknowledge the things he says with a smile, nod, or an appropriate gesture.
Being a good listener lets the guy know that you are thoughtful and easy to talk to. This creates a good impression.
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Sometimes a good conversation involves knowing when to be silent. When you drag the conversation, things start to feel forceful and boring.
You should always end your talks on a high note and leave him wanting more. After a funny joke or story, you should try to make your exit.
For example, you can tell him that you need to get back home to feed your pet or have some work you need to finish up.
He’ll feel disappointed that you’re leaving but will eagerly look forward to the next time you get to talk.
Right before you leave, make eye contact, smile at him then tell him how you enjoyed talking to him. You can even mention his name. This makes it more personal, flirtatious, and memorable than a plain “Bye.”
Only you know why you like that particular guy and whether he’s worth the nerve-wracking effort of expressing your feelings for him.
Questioning why you like him is another good sign. Because if he likes you back and you two begin dating, you can always recap the qualities that drew you to him at the lowest moments of your relationship.
Expressing your feelings to your crush is an all-or-nothing process but always remember that rejection is not the end of you.
Hey! For what it’s worth taking the risk of expressing your feelings for the guy is much better than holding it in.
Those who play it safe get good things, but the best things in life are for the risk-takers!
A: Pick a place where you can talk without distraction. Make them feel at ease by starting with small talk and throw in some jokes.
Tell them how you feel while maintaining eye contact and offer them genuine compliments.
Be yourself, smile, and remain positive despite the answer you get.
A: Ask him to go somewhere interesting with you, preferably a place you both love. Ask him indirectly rather than directly.
For example, tell him you have tickets to a dog show instead of saying, “will you go on a date with me?”
A: If he likes you back, he will make eye contact and often smile at you when you are together. He will lean towards you when talking and find chances to touch or tease you such as, playing with your hair. He will also be willing to assist you when you need his help.
When apart, he will often text or call to check up on you. Also, using emojis in his text is a sure-fire way to know he is into you.
He will ask about your relationship status and be interested in your life. Finally, he’ll open up to you about stuff he won’t tell just about anyone.
While rejection is inevitable, there are some tips you can follow to soften the blow if your crush doesn’t feel the same way you do.
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Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.
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