16 Things To Remember If You’re Tired Of Being Single
Are you tired of being single? Being in a relationship can be challenging at times. Being single, on the other hand, is a very different story. It’s especially difficult in an age where relationships are splashed all over social media through heavily filtered, rose-colored Instagram glasses. It’s easy to become bored with being single.
You’ve done enough third-wheeling. And your relatives are constantly asking when you’re going to marry. You’re continually reminded that you’re alone no matter where you look no one sees your personal growth without the other person.
Worse, we’re embarrassed into believing that we can’t truly be happy unless we change our relationship status. That is the relationship advice we all get as the only way to a better life. True, there is a lot of happiness to be experienced when you share your life with your soul mate. To be honest, nothing beats being in a committed relationship.
It also wouldn’t hurt to have someone to watch Netflix with. However, being single should not bind you to find happiness on your own or block you from having other fulfilling relationships. After all, it’s tough to locate a good man. There’s no getting around it.
◉ Here are 16 things to remember if you’re tired of being single and feeling particularly depressed ◉
1. There is a reason why you’re single
You may not realize it, but you’re probably single for a reason. No, it’s not because you didn’t follow the magazine’s 10 Steps to Finding the One. The explanation for this is most likely that you need to work on some personal matters.
It might be anything from advancing your profession to exploring your passions, working on your emotional energy, mental health, or even simply discovering yourself.
Perhaps there is an underlying issue that you haven’t addressed. Have you been exploiting your relationships to make up for something? It’s almost ironic, yet certain things you only notice when you’re alone.
So use this opportunity to get a clear understanding of what you’re really seeking right now. So that when the proper person comes along, you’ll be as prepared and as clear-headed as you possibly can be to not only spend time with them but create healthy boundaries with your potential partner.
2. Trust that things will get better, eventually
Your attitude toward being single can have a big impact on a lot of things. Are you going to wallow in self-pity because you don’t have that special someone?
Or are you going to live your best life no matter what? It’s quite normal to have days when you feel lonely that you eat an entire tub of ice cream by yourself.
In fact, it’s critical to appreciate those times. Recognize that these occasions will occur. But it’s not going to happen on a daily basis. Things will improve in time.
In the meantime, try to enjoy yourself as much as possible rather than focusing on the fact that you’re single. Maintaining a good attitude is critical during this trip. Don’t rush to dating apps just because you feel lonely.
3. Learn what a successful relationship takes
You won’t be single indefinitely. As long as you put yourself out there, you’ll find the ideal person for you—possibly even in an unexpected area. When you do, it’s critical that you comprehend what they truly want from you. Because if you’ve had previous failed relationships, you can’t afford to repeat the same mistakes. What does a man want from a relationship?
Above all, men want to be strong and provide for and protect their partners. He wishes to feel vital to her general well-being. This isn’t some archaic notion of chivalry, but a genuine biological instinct…There’s a fascinating new notion in relationship psychology that’s causing quite a stir right now. It’s referred to as the hero instinct.
To put it simply, men want to be your hero. It’s a biological drive to feel wanted, significant, and capable of providing for the lady he loves. And it’s a longing that transcends love or sex. The kicker is that if you don’t arouse this instinct in him, he will remain uninterested in you and in the long run look for someone else.
The hero impulse is a valid psychological idea that I feel makes sense in this modern age. Let’s face it: male and female genders are not the same. Treating your boyfriend or girlfriend as if he were a friend will not work. We all have different desires deep inside… Men, like women, have a strong desire to provide for and protect those they care about.
Now the question you are asking yourself is do I bring this instinct to life? How do you show him this sense of belonging, meaning, and purpose? To learn more about the hero impulse, one can study the work of James Bauer who is a relationship psychologist. He is credited with popularizing this concept. And in the video, he gives many unique ideas for igniting your man’s hero instinct.
4. It’s okay to have high standards
“You’re single because your standards are so high.” You’ve probably heard it a lot. And you probably felt it was the reason you were single. But, in reality, it keeps you from making the biggest mistake of your life. You should never date someone solely to avoid being alone. You’ll be 40, having a mid-life crisis, married to someone you’re not happy with, and stuck because you have children.
Nowadays, many people “settle” because they believe that being single is worse. But would you truly rather stay with the incorrect person than take your time finding someone with whom you have a lot greater chance?
Having said that, it’s equally crucial to recognize that there is no such thing as a “perfect” person for you. That individual does not exist. However, there is someone out there who can make you happy, become your life partner, and be everything you never imagined you needed.
Keep your expectations in check. Not everyone will check all the boxes on your list, but there will be someone who comes close. Don’t allow your biological clock to push you into any relationship, take time to study those who are actively dating, married people, and how they are spending time cultivating strong relationships. Dating apps don’t give you all the life lessons you need to have an amazing life or find love.
5. You should date or treat yourself
It is not exaggerated to say that dating yourself is beneficial. It is, without a doubt, the best type of self-care you can practice. It’s incredible how much your perception can shift if you turn this switch on. Instead of worrying about being single at 30, why not enjoy the elements of your life that aren’t about dating? Why would you allow others to define your self-worth by swiping your profile left or right, contributing to your inferiority complex?
Don’t wait for the perfect date to come along. Be the ideal date. Pay a visit to your favorite eatery. Go ahead and take that romantic getaway, anyway. Use all of your free time to take care of yourself. Sign up for a gym membership. Long hikes are recommended. Spend time with your family and friends. Don’t squander your time seeking the ideal date. Make an effort to become the type of person you would want to date.
You do not require the “completion” of another individual. You are already complete as you are. You’re also fantastic! You, of all people, should be aware of this. Before everything else, you must be able to love yourself in the same manner that you would like to be loved by a spouse.
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6. Don’t turn into a pessimist
All of your previous dating adventures have left, you are certain that no one will ever treat you right. Your previous date went tragically wrong. And you’ve been ghosted way too many times that it’s become nearly normal. You have reason to be cautious. That’s great news. You’re more careful, you detect warning signs more clearly, and you make smarter decisions.
But don’t let your past make you cynical. There are still decent individuals in the world. And if someone as amazing as you are single, there must be some nice ones out there.
7. Learn to be fine on your own (Be Independent)
There is a distinction to be made between being “lonely” and being “alone. “The first is a state of mind while the latter is a state of being. Loneliness creeps up on you in fits and starts. It’s 3 a.m., and you’re awake in bed, missing the sensation of another person beside you.
It’s normal to experience feelings of loneliness from time to time. The distinction is in attempting to accept being alone. It’s about thriving in solitude and recognizing that you don’t have to be lonely. This is how you come to appreciate your own company.
Recognize that you’re not missing out on anything. However, if you are too preoccupied with being lonely, you will miss out on the opportunity to live your life.
8. Try to be patient
It’s true that it’s easier stated than done. However, excellent things come to those who wait. Better things come to those who patiently wait. Have faith that when the moment is right and all the puzzle pieces fall into place, you’ll find “the one. “For the time being, don’t make the mistake of chasing the wrong things.
All you’re doing is preventing yourself from perceiving the appropriate thing when it finally appears. Concentrate on what you truly desire and disregard anything else that falls short.
9. Surround yourself with the right people
This is important not only when you’re single but in your entire life. The people you surround yourself with have an impact on who you are. They have an impact on how you perceive things, respond to them, and think about them.
Make sure you’re surrounded by folks who will encourage and lift you up. If you let them, the appropriate friends will make these difficult times a lot easier and a lot more fun.
There’s also no harm in removing poisonous people from your life. It is now, more than ever, that you require the type of individuals that will make your life better, not worse.
10. In the meantime, breathe.
You’re being far too harsh on yourself. Allow it to go. Let go of any expectations that are holding you down. It will take place for you. It may not happen in the way you expected, and it may not look like it does in the movies, but it will happen.
You’re already setting the road for it to find you if you believe it. In the meantime, strive to be the best version of yourself.
Be someone who does not require the approval of others to feel whole. Recognize that your next love will not bring your life full circle.
Instead, it will only add another lovely layer to the wonderful life you’ve already created for yourself.
11. Lasting love doesn’t happen by accident
The sensation of intimately connecting with another person, along with the chemistry spark of attraction, feels like magic – but it isn’t. If you can’t keep your expectations in check, but the romance novels away and avoid watching “meet-cute” romantic films. While these can be a pleasurable diversion from stress, they are not a viable option for long-term love.
Not to burst your bubble, but true love will not appear when you least expect it. This is not to say that there will be no magic when you finally find your love. The romance phase of a relationship is intended to bind you two together so that you can survive the inevitable power struggle stage that follows. Long-lasting love is possible if you have a strategy and take regular steps toward your objective — just like everything else you’ve planned for, been educated about, and accomplished in your life thus far.
Every generation has struggled with finding new ways to meet their partner. The days of being introduced to your potential spouse by a close friend or family member are long gone. People used to go to dances, place personal advertisements in the newspaper, employ video dating services or matchmakers, and attend singles events to find their future husband or wife.
Technology and modern society have altered the way we meet, but they have not altered the fundamental norms of dating. The tools are only for the initial connection; you must still go on that first date. Sign up for online dating services, download the latest apps, and start dating to learn more about yourself and what you want in a companion.
12. Stay Open and Hopeful to The World of Love
It’s critical that you remain open to the world of love when you’re single, especially if you’re tired of not being in love. Don’t give up on finding the perfect love; the one for you is out there, you simply haven’t discovered them yet. If you can learn to be happy on your own, imagine how happy you will be when you finally discover the one.
13. Enjoy Freedom
You may not understand it right now, and you may be tired of being alone, but you have an enormous amount of freedom as a single person. Try to take advantage of your freedom as much as possible while you still have it.
You have no one to think about before acting on anything that is so beautiful, so enjoy it. Stay out late with friends, sleep in and not clean your place for days, date as often as you want, and travel whenever and wherever you want. Live your most relaxed existence possible.
14. Dwell on what you can change, leave what you can’t.
It is important to note that you can’t change everything. Know that you are not the only one struggling with your height, age, or background. To win this and be a better person is to first change your thinking about such things and be done with them. Understand that we all struggle with something, you ain’t alone.
15. Ask to Be Fixed Up
If you want to be proactive in your dating life, you should take the initiative and let people know you’re looking to meet someone. Whether it’s a coworker, a family friend, or even your yoga instructor, inquiring whether he or she knows someone who can set you up can have a plethora of advantages for your love life.
For starters, these folks may already have someone in mind who would be ideal for you, or they may know someone who knows someone who knows someone. Furthermore, you’ll be on his or her mind the next time he or she meets someone interesting.
By being open and honest with others about your availability, you’re more likely to have their assistance in revising your single status.
16. Pursue your passions
If you want to meet someone new, keep in mind that this person is not going to complete you. This person, on the other hand, will compliment you and your life. This means that, even if meeting someone new is your very top priority, you should still find time to explore your own interests, loves, and pastimes that make you the unique individual you are.
Remember that being single isn’t your identity, and being in a relationship isn’t either. So it’s never been more important to devote your time, energy, and effort to enhance your own life with activities designed specifically for you. That way, when you meet someone new, you may be your best and happiest self.
✦ It OK to Be Single Forever? ✦
It’s perfectly fine to be single for the rest of your life if you’re content with it and it’s what you picture when you think about your future. It is entirely their option whether they want to be with someone else. If you don’t have a choice, there is someone out there for everyone, and if you’re open to love, you’ll find someone who is great for you at some point in the future. Don’t be tired of being single you will find the right person.
🧐 Conclusion 🧐
Last but not least… Let’s face it: men see the world in a different way than you do. This can make a deep passionate romantic connection difficult to achieve—something that men seek deep down as well. Relationships have ups and downs and often times we blame it on sex, communication, or not going on romantic dates. I am not saying these are not vital factors that lead to breakups. My point is they are rarely deal-breakers when it comes to a relationship’s success.
Understanding what motivates guys is the missing connection. I sincerely hope that this post has thrown some light on how to overcome the feeling of being tired of being single. Remember, you’ll find the person you’re meant to be with when the timing is right; don’t force it. Use this time alone to enjoy your independence, work on yourself, and consider your future goals.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.