Is your relationship worth fighting for? Is the stress of the struggle worth it?
If you are currently in a romantic relationship or marriage and you’re having doubts about whether to fight for it or not, there are a few ways to tell.
Here are 5 signs that you can put away the white flag and salvage your relationship.
1You Mean It When You Say, “It’s Not You, It’s Me”
Yes, this phrase is one of the most cliché break-up excuses. Cliché or not, looking at your own, personal intimacy issues can provide great insight into your current relationship.
Maybe your issues have nothing to do with the love and companionship your partner offers. Maybe it has something to do with your own emotional baggage.
Are you seeing a pattern in your relationship turmoil? Are the same issues that ended your last relationship haunting this one?
What’s the common denominator?
Yep, you guessed it right – it’s you.
Though I’m painting a pretty dismal picture, all hope is not lost.
If the only problems plaguing your current relationship are deeply rooted in your own insecurities, the first step is to acknowledge them. Take a step back and examine how these personality traits are affecting your relationship. You’d be surprised to see how a few slight changes to your state of mind, communication tactics or displays of affection can change things for the better.
2You’re Willing to Put in the Work
Do thoughts of attending a couples retreat or counseling turn your stomach? Do your palms get sweaty and blood pressure rise when you and your loved one are left in a room together?
If working to save your relationship sounds like too much work, then it’s probably time to move on.
But if you can clearly see salvageable pieces of your broken puzzle or if you can still easily name at least five admirable qualities about your partner, there may be hope.
So, make a list and include pros and cons of you two as a couple and your partner individually. You might be surprised to discover that one awesome ‘pro’ can actually outweigh a long list of ‘cons’ or the other way around.
If you’re willing to work things out, then the relationship is definitely worth fighting for.
3The Thought of Ending Things Makes You Sick
Maybe it’s jealousy. Maybe it’s possessiveness.
Whatever it is, if the thought of your partner moving on or moving out turns your stomach, then you’re probably not ready to end things.
Ending a toxic relationship usually leaves you with a feeling of freedom, release, and peace of mind. All these feelings are a good indication that you made the right decision.
Sleepless nights and conflicted emotions, on the other hand, mean the opposite. If your heart and mind are torn over whether to end things, you should probably give it another shot.
There’s no worse feeling in this world than regret. Avoid the “what if” by giving things another try.
4You Only Threaten to Break Up When You’re Mad
We all say things when we’re mad and sometimes, it can get ugly. You blurt out things you later wish you could take back.
Often times, people use idle threats and make empty promises in the heat of an argument.
Have you ever threatened to leave only to go around the corner for a beer and return home after cooling off? Or promised to never name call again only to forget your promise during the very next fight?
If the only time you can think of leaving your partner or ending the relationship is when you’re angry or high on adrenaline, then it’s likely an irrational and superficial emotion. This means you should pause for further consideration.
5You Can Imagine a Future Together
People say things like “I can’t live without you”, but do they really mean it?
If you can’t imagine your life without your partner, then you have a great foundation to work with.
When you have a solid relationship, talking about the future is important.
Some people depend their life plans on their partners. They will plan their life, career choices, and thoughts about kids based on their significant others.
For you, do your long-term goals all include your partner? Can you not imagine purchasing a home or growing old with anyone else? Even when times are tough and the two of you can’t seem to get on the same page, do you still foresee a future together?
If your answer is yes, then the two of you should be willing to work through whatever issues you are having.
Now that you know that your romantic relationship is worth saving, you can take the necessary steps.
Keep the lines of communication and your mind open. Try not to go on the defensive when your partner expresses concern or worry about your relationship status. Don’t jump the gun and call things off at the first sign of trouble.
Yes, relationships take work but if it’s a relationship worth saving, it will feel less like work and more like an investment in your future.