Falling in love with someone can be a wonderful experience. As you learn about one another, you begin to see new ways of learning and experiencing life. There is little that disrupts the flow of a newly budding relationship and it is easy to become swept away by the attraction.
However, once you have settled into your role as a partner, the attraction and adoration may no longer enough. You will face the challenge of working out problems. Unfortunately, some couples never recover from the hardships of learning how to compromise and growing together.
So, how do you know when it’s time to start giving up on relationships?
There isn’t enough quality time
You or your partner is seeking pleasure and satisfaction outside of the relationship.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a couple having different interests. In fact, two people in a healthy relationship should have experiences that they enjoy independently as well as together. The struggle comes when one or both of the partners begin to seek enjoyment outside of the relationship at all times.
While this may seem like an insignificant problem, the lack of quality time spent together can compromise the health of the relationship in the long run.
Be sure to balance the time you spend doing what you love and the time you spend with your partner. If you find yourself relieved when you are not around your partner, it may be time to reconsider the future of the relationship.
The relationship is experiencing unfaithfulness
Unfaithfulness is like a wound that is unable to properly heal. There may be forgiveness and closure, but the harm the action caused will never fully disappear. All that may be left is a scar and there will always be evidence of the hurt.
Infidelity is commonly referred to as “cheating” and typically includes any sexual relationship outside of two exclusive partners. Cheating or infidelity, however, can also present as emotional or visual. If you find yourself looking at others for visual pleasure or you experience an emotional connection with another person that should only exist within your relationship, you may need to take the time to reflect on your relationship.
You become uncomfortable as a couple in social settings
If one or both of you are visibly uncomfortable when you are in public together, something is probably wrong.
This does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. It may simply mean that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
But, if one of you is intentionally avoiding the other when you’re with friends and family, the problem may have deeper roots. It may be the right time to talk it out with your partner and reevaluate things.
See Also: I’m Saying Thanks For Breaking My Heart
There are red flags of abuse
If you are harming your partner intentionally, either by words or by actions, then the health of your relationship is already diminishing. If your partner is doing things with the intent to harm you, it is time to walk away. No loving or healthy relationship comes with the intention to harm.
There may be times when a person does something that hurts the one he loves the most, but if this hurt has progressed to intentional, hurtful behavior, it is better to just walk away. Talk to local resources offering help for dating or domestic abuse. The trained individuals in these institutions may be able to provide you with a clearer answer about the abuse you are experiencing.
You and your partner are traveling in very different directions
Lastly, no matter how much time has passed since you decided to become an exclusive couple, life can still lead you to two separate directions. Differences in passions, desires and hopes for the future often spell the end of a relationship.
Healthy couples either work through these differences or mutually decide to end their partnership. Other couples have difficulty with this process and the ending of the relationship can be quite ugly. But, regardless of how messy it may look, it is important to know who you are and what you want. Your joy in life, no matter what you are doing, is what you pass on to the people around you and to your children.
Is staying with this person going to uplift you and encourage you to continue seeking joy? Or is staying with this person going to bring you down and discourage you from going after what you desire out of life?
Remember, it is never too late to walk away. Some of the best and healthiest relationships involve people who never give up and continue to grow with one another. If only one person is choosing to grow, change and move forward, is the relationship going in the right direction?
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Author: Syliva Smith
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples in therapy.