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Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.
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No matter how strong or weak you are, dealing with a heartbreak isn’t an easy feat. I am not undermining the fact that your family and friends really care about you and want you to snap out of it as soon as possible; it’s just that going through it yourself is a very different story.
Heartbreaks vary from person to person. For some people, it can happen after breaking up from a long-term relationship. For other people, heartbreaks can happen even during the pre-dating stage of a relationship. Timing doesn’t determine the degree of pain. Instead, it has something to do with the intensity of the feelings.
It can also be about perspective. Very often, I see two people that get into a relationship for the sole reason that they like each other and they want to see where it goes. For these people, it’s much easier to get out of it as opposed to people getting into a relationship with marriage and their future in mind.
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Getting through a heartbreak is a process. In the initial stages, you’ll be really upset and that’s the only thing you’ll feel. After you pass that stage, it’s when reality will hit you.
Your sadness will be reduced but it’ll be replaced by a state of emptiness. There’s this sudden sinking feeling that someone has removed a part of you and that something majorly is missing. This is when you’ll start to feel incomplete.
The next phase is where you’ll start to feel fine. This is when you’ll start to analyze your past relationship and the person you were with. This is when you’ll come to the realization that although you miss that person and you feel incomplete without him, it’s just the habit of being with that person that you’re missing.
It’s the fact that you had become so attached to that person’s constant presence in your life to the point that his absence makes you feel incomplete. Think of it this way: you were living a completely happy and satisfied life before this person came into your life and you will live a happy and satisfied life once you’re over that person.
The moment you have come to terms with your feelings is when you will realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel. This is when you’ll realize the importance of getting hurt, getting over someone and how strong these things will make you.
Heartache is one of the hardest kinds of pain that you can experience in your life. Despite this, it’s also one of the strongest lessons you’ll learn.
It will make you realize what your real priorities are and how hard you should be working for them. It’ll make you realize what kind of a person you want in your life and what characteristics of that person you shouldn’t compromise.
Every heartbreak is a new experience that can make you realize what you want in life and how you want your life to be. It will give you a fresh new approach to life that you wouldn’t have known if your life kept moving the way it was with your previous partner.
As the cliche goes, the best fruit is always the highest hanging one. The same is true when it comes to heartbreaks.
We need to be patient and learn from our mistakes so that we could work on making ourselves better. If things didn’t work out for us, it is because something better is in store for us.
Take this extremely important advice and move on because that’s the most mature thing to do. I feel we should all go through the process of hurting after a breakup for us to fully recover from it.
It’s what will enable us to finally say “thanks for breaking my heart”.
Lastly, I would like to say that you don’t need a relationship to validate your existence. If we have so much love to give to others, it’s very important that we reserve some of that love for ourselves. We should treat ourselves the way we want to be treated.
You need to make yourself happy, do what is right for you and what you feel is right. Don’t expect someone to make you feel better about yourself. You need to do that on your own.
You can take up a hobby, volunteer, take a trip and explore life. Life is too short to be sad over one person.
Somewhere along the way, when the time is right, someone will come and fit the missing pieces of your life. When that time comes, you’ll be able to fully appreciate your past heartbreaks and say thanks for breaking my heart.
See Also: The Role of Karma in Your Relationships
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