• Business

    Business Ideas

    ALL
    • In-Demand Businesses
    • Businesses That Never Fail
    • Best Passive Income Ideas for Increasing Cash Flow
    • Essential Tips To Start An Online Business
    • Best Websites To Buy Or Sell An Online Business For Free
    • Everything You Need to Know About Online Selling 
    • Current Business Trends: 9 Things to Keep in Mind
    • How to Open a Coffee Shop Business: A Comprehensive Guide
    • Effective Ways to Start your Business from Scratch 
    • The Main Types And Advantages Of Online Business
    Menu
    • In-Demand Businesses
    • Businesses That Never Fail
    • Best Passive Income Ideas for Increasing Cash Flow
    • Essential Tips To Start An Online Business
    • Best Websites To Buy Or Sell An Online Business For Free
    • Everything You Need to Know About Online Selling 
    • Current Business Trends: 9 Things to Keep in Mind
    • How to Open a Coffee Shop Business: A Comprehensive Guide
    • Effective Ways to Start your Business from Scratch 
    • The Main Types And Advantages Of Online Business

    Tips For A Successful Business

    ALL
    • Creative Business Proposal Ideas for Better Sales
    • Easy Digital Marketing Strategies for Small Business
    • Easy Steps to Develop Effective Time Management Skills
    • ClickUp, Trello or Hive?
    • Best SEO Tips for Small Businesses
    • Lessons Every Business Can Learn From Coworking Spaces
    • The Best Digital Marketing Strategies for a Real Estate Business
    • Useful Tips to Make Your E-Commerce Business Successful.
    • Why Do You Need to Track Your Spending
    Menu
    • Creative Business Proposal Ideas for Better Sales
    • Easy Digital Marketing Strategies for Small Business
    • Easy Steps to Develop Effective Time Management Skills
    • ClickUp, Trello or Hive?
    • Best SEO Tips for Small Businesses
    • Lessons Every Business Can Learn From Coworking Spaces
    • The Best Digital Marketing Strategies for a Real Estate Business
    • Useful Tips to Make Your E-Commerce Business Successful.
    • Why Do You Need to Track Your Spending
  • Money

    Invest Money

    ALL
    • Best Safe Investments
    • Investing In Real Estate
    • How To Invest: Are Your Investment Right Your Age
    • Best Alternative Investments
    • Best Investments To Beat Inflation
    • How To Invest In Collectibles
    Menu
    • Best Safe Investments
    • Investing In Real Estate
    • How To Invest: Are Your Investment Right Your Age
    • Best Alternative Investments
    • Best Investments To Beat Inflation
    • How To Invest In Collectibles

    Banking

    ALL
    • Best Savings Account
    • Best High Yield Savings Account
    • Best CD Rates
    • Best Money Market Accounts
    • Best Online Checking Account
    • Best Banking Apps
    Menu
    • Best Savings Account
    • Best High Yield Savings Account
    • Best CD Rates
    • Best Money Market Accounts
    • Best Online Checking Account
    • Best Banking Apps

    Loan

    ALL
    • Best Personal Loan
    • Best Low-Interest Personal Loans
    • Best Personal Loans for Bad Credit
    • Best Personal Loans for Excellent Credit
    • Best Debt Consolidation Loans
    • Best Student Loans
    Menu
    • Best Personal Loan
    • Best Low-Interest Personal Loans
    • Best Personal Loans for Bad Credit
    • Best Personal Loans for Excellent Credit
    • Best Debt Consolidation Loans
    • Best Student Loans

    Insurance

    ALL
    • Sproutt Life Insurance Reviews
    • eHealth Insurance Reviews
    • Cheap Car Insurance Reviews
    • Embrace Pet Insurance Reviews
    • Best Rideshare Insurance Reviews
    Menu
    • Sproutt Life Insurance Reviews
    • eHealth Insurance Reviews
    • Cheap Car Insurance Reviews
    • Embrace Pet Insurance Reviews
    • Best Rideshare Insurance Reviews
  • Forex

    Featured

    ALL
    • Best Forex Trading Courses
    • Best Forex Academy
    • Best Forex Trading Coaches
    • Best Forex Mentors
    Menu
    • Best Forex Trading Courses
    • Best Forex Academy
    • Best Forex Trading Coaches
    • Best Forex Mentors

    Learn To Trade Forex With Dumb Little Man

    ALL
    • Best Forex Brokers Review
    • Best Forex Trading Software
    • How To Trade Forex
    • How to Read Forex Charts
    • Best Forex Indicators
    • Best Forex Screeners
    • Best Time To Trade Forex
    • Best Forex Trading Tools
    • AvaTrade Review
    • CedarFX Review
    • Forex.com Review
    • Interactive Brokers Review
    Menu
    • Best Forex Brokers Review
    • Best Forex Trading Software
    • How To Trade Forex
    • How to Read Forex Charts
    • Best Forex Indicators
    • Best Forex Screeners
    • Best Time To Trade Forex
    • Best Forex Trading Tools
    • AvaTrade Review
    • CedarFX Review
    • Forex.com Review
    • Interactive Brokers Review
  • Stocks & Crypto

    Stocks

    ALL
    • Best Stock Brokers
    • Best Online Brokers for Stocks Under $100
    • Best Online Brokers for ETF Investing
    • Best Brokers for Mutual Funds
    • Best Online Brokers for Bonds
    • Best Blue Chip Stocks
    • Best Swing Trade Stocks
    • Stages of a Stock Market Bubble
    • Best Stock Investing and Trading Podcasts
    • Best Defensive Stocks to Invest
    Menu
    • Best Stock Brokers
    • Best Online Brokers for Stocks Under $100
    • Best Online Brokers for ETF Investing
    • Best Brokers for Mutual Funds
    • Best Online Brokers for Bonds
    • Best Blue Chip Stocks
    • Best Swing Trade Stocks
    • Stages of a Stock Market Bubble
    • Best Stock Investing and Trading Podcasts
    • Best Defensive Stocks to Invest

    Cryptocurrency

    ALL
    • Best Cryptocurrency Trading Courses
    • Best Cryptocurrency Brokers
    • Best Cryptocurrency Exchanges
    • Best Cryptocurrency Apps
    • Learn about Cryptocurrency
    • How To Earn Cryptocurrency
    • How to Trade Cryptocurrency
    • Best Cryptocurrencies
    • Best Crypto Trading Bots
    • Best Crypto Portfolio Trackers
    Menu
    • Best Cryptocurrency Trading Courses
    • Best Cryptocurrency Brokers
    • Best Cryptocurrency Exchanges
    • Best Cryptocurrency Apps
    • Learn about Cryptocurrency
    • How To Earn Cryptocurrency
    • How to Trade Cryptocurrency
    • Best Cryptocurrencies
    • Best Crypto Trading Bots
    • Best Crypto Portfolio Trackers
  • Health

    Health Conditions

    ALL
    • Macular Degeneration
    • Testosterone
    • Constipation
    • Hormonal Imbalance
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Sleeping Problems
    • Baldness
    • Lower Back Pain
    • Toenail Fungus
    • Mouth Sores
    • Eye Dark Circles
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Headaches
    • Face Acne
    Menu
    • Macular Degeneration
    • Testosterone
    • Constipation
    • Hormonal Imbalance
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Sleeping Problems
    • Baldness
    • Lower Back Pain
    • Toenail Fungus
    • Mouth Sores
    • Eye Dark Circles
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Headaches
    • Face Acne

    Product Reviews

    ALL
    • Diet & Weightloss
    • Exercise and Fitness
    • Beauty and Skin
    • Hair and Nails
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Dietary Supplements
    • Over-40 Supplements
    • Sexual Health
    • Dental Health
    • Men’s Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Sleep and Dreams
    • Best Weight loss Supplements
    • Best Fat Burner Supplements
    • Best Hair Growth Supplements
    • Best Vision Supplements
    • Best Memory Supplements
    • Best Natural Testosterone Supplements
    Menu
    • Diet & Weightloss
    • Exercise and Fitness
    • Beauty and Skin
    • Hair and Nails
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Dietary Supplements
    • Over-40 Supplements
    • Sexual Health
    • Dental Health
    • Men’s Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Sleep and Dreams
    • Best Weight loss Supplements
    • Best Fat Burner Supplements
    • Best Hair Growth Supplements
    • Best Vision Supplements
    • Best Memory Supplements
    • Best Natural Testosterone Supplements
  • Relationship

    Blogs and Tips

    ALL
    • Females in Relationship
    • Men in Relationship
    • Dating Tips
    • Finding yourself
    • Marriage Tips
    • Love
    Menu
    • Females in Relationship
    • Men in Relationship
    • Dating Tips
    • Finding yourself
    • Marriage Tips
    • Love

    Dating Guides

    ALL
    • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Christian Dating Sites
    • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Apps for College Students
    • Asian Dating Guide
    • Japanese Dating Guide
    • Filipina Dating Guide
    • Indian Dating Guide
    • Black Dating Guide
    • Russian Dating Guide
    • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
    • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best German Dating Sites
    Menu
    • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Christian Dating Sites
    • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Apps for College Students
    • Asian Dating Guide
    • Japanese Dating Guide
    • Filipina Dating Guide
    • Indian Dating Guide
    • Black Dating Guide
    • Russian Dating Guide
    • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
    • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best German Dating Sites
  • Trading School

Living After The Death Of A Loved One

Written and Published by Joe Thomsett on March 2, 2017 - Reviewed by Dumb Little Man

 Living After The Death Of A Loved One
Home How To Relationships
by Joe Thomsett March 2, 2017

I’ve been thinking about death.

My Dad died last year. Diagnosis to death in 5 weeks. A sharp 3-week decline and a 2-week hospital stay. A surgery that was never finished. Cancer had its day.

My friend is fighting off death, just. The big C again. It gets a lot of us. The NHS washed their hands off him. But in his words, “I am not a willing candidate to die.” He’s found advanced treatment in Germany at a cost of £150k.

We’re trying to raise money for him now.

So naturally, death is on my mind. In fact, since my Dad died, I don’t think it’s ever left. Grim has been hanging around, trying to entice me into his home, wanting to add another one to his ledger. He’s wasting his time.

I wish I could say it’s transformed me. That the smell of death has been a timely reminder that life is for a brief sneeze of time. That every second is precious. That life should be seized.

It has, kind of. Lately, it’s sent me to the recesses of my mind to the primeval dwellings where loss, pain and love reside. Like an indefinite Airbnb stay, I’ve been hanging out here.

death hit by a train

And I think loss does that to you. I think it’s like being hit by a train, but not realising you’ve been hit until you wake up from the coma you’ve been in for the last 6 months. And then you hurt. Basic function for 6 months, just about connecting with reality, and then massive constant pain.

The sort of pain that induces lethargy in the day but keeps you up all night. The sort of pain that makes you relive conversations and edit them for better outcomes. The sort of pain that blunts your reality, right here, right now.

And, like climbing out of quicksand, dealing with it can be hard. The first step is to acknowledge you’re in quicksand. Acknowledge the emotional pain you’re in, and then be still until you understand what that means. Only then can you begin to deal with it.

I’m writing this to say that struggling to deal with loss is okay. That you are not alone. That, you are suffering along a journey that millions of others before you have dealt with, and you can take comfort from that. They got through it, and so can you.

It’s hard, yes. If you acknowledge that, instead of carrying it with you, it gets easier. Realise that you’re human, that it’s okay to hurt, and that even the tiniest pitter patter of steps forward is progress.

In fact, largely, you soon realise that dealing with loss is hard, not just because of the loss itself, but because of the expectation you place on yourself that you should be fine about it.

“Just get on with it.” “You’ve got to keep living.” And so on. You find yourself comparing daily to the imaginary measuring stick you’ve set for yourself. “I should be doing better by now.” Like we do with our careers, or comparing with our friends. But worse, because this is pure loss.

So you’ve got to get rid of that measuring stick, and realise that it will take as long as it takes. Sure, there are ways to deal with it better, but time is the ultimate judge.

In fact, some loss never leaves us, and that’s okay. Do I think my Mum will ever fully heal from losing my Dad? No, because it was a 48-year old love. A deep-rooted, soulful kind of love. And the loss of that is the reminder of the love that was there. And so it can’t fully heal because of how deeply they loved each other.

coping with loss

And that’s fine. Because we can take that loss and use it daily as a reminder of how capable of love we are. We can say, “Today I hurt from loss, and I am going out into the world and expressing love. In my interactions, in my relationships, in my career.

Sharing is also liberating. Talking to others, sharing your pain. It gives the other person the chance to express their love and it helps to fill your empty cup. It creates new connections and new possibilities.

See Also: How To Get Back a Normal Life After a Loss

My friend who is battling death is a wonderful example. Stoic-like, he says to me, “I can acknowledge this is what happened (getting ill). Then I have two choices. I can either let the pain I feel own me and overwhelm me, and I’ll die. Or I can use it, acknowledge it, and solve the problem in front of me (getting better).”

So dealing with pain means acknowledging pain and going into the world anyway. It’s not pretending it doesn’t exist. That’s the same as being shaped by it. Instead, it’s saying, “Hello pain, hello loss, I see you,” and then getting from your day anyway.

See Also: 8 Tips for Coping with Pet Loss

 

Like this Article? Subscribe to Our Feed!

Author: Joe Thomsett

  • Web
  • |
  • Twitter
  • |
  • Facebook
  • |
  • LinkedIn
  • |
  • More Posts(1)

Share This:

  • 0
    Facebook
  • 0
    Twitter
  • 0
    Linkedin
  • 0
    Email
Previous post
Next post

Search Who You're Dating Online

Search everything about the person you are dating.

Search Now

Recommended Hookup Site

Find hookups near you. State-of-the art scam protection measures.

Find Now

Females in Relationship

  • Big Signs Your Wife Is Cheating with Coworker
  • 23 Must-Know Ways On How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy
  • 32 Tips On How To Be A Good Girlfriend

More on Dating Tips

  • What Is A Life Partner and How It Differs From A Soulmate
  • 30 Telltale Signs of Attraction: Explore and Verify
  • 12 Decisive Must-know Things On How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love

Men in Relationship

  • 20 Signs A Man Is In Love With His Mistress
  • Best 29 Things What Men Want In A Relationship
  • 66 Interesting Guy Body Language When They Like You

More on Marriage Tips

  • 13 Steps When This Is You: “I Don’t Love My Wife But I Don’t Want To Hurt Her”
  • 23 Tips On How To Make Your Husband Fall In Love With You Again

Ethnic Dating Guide

  • Asian Dating
  • Japanese Dating
  • Filipina Dating
  • Indian Dating
  • Black Dating
  • Russian Dating
  • Ukraine Dating
  • Dominican Dating
  • Interracial Dating
  • African Dating
  • Caribbean Dating

Other Dating Guide

  • Lesbian Cougar Dating
  • Zodiac Dating
  • Dating a Psychologist
  • Dating a Cop
  • Dating a Fireman
  • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
  • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best Dating Apps for College Students 
  • Best Tall People Dating Sites and Apps 
  • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best German Dating Sites
  • Best Christian Dating Sites
  • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps 

INDIVIDUAL REVIEWS

★★★★☆
eharmony
Best Overall Dating Site!
★★★★☆
BeenVerified.com
Best for public records search!
★★★★☆
AdultFriendFinder
Best hookup site with advance security!
Get daily tips and tricks from Dumblittleman!
Your subscription could not be saved. Please try again.
Success! You are now a Dumb Little Man! :)