Dating a Narcissist in 2022: Things to Know, Pros, Cons
Unfortunately, we are currently existing in a world that is full of narcissism. People are genuinely obsessed with portraying an image to the world, that revolves around self-centeredness and selfish demands. This type of mentality is majorly popularized by social media sites. For example Instagram and Facebook. So, how this crazy rise in narcissism will affect our daily lives? If you are new to the world of narcissism, things might be on a roller coaster for you at the moment.
Well, life is not at all easy when you are in narcissistic relationships; a person with a narcissistic personality disorder. For someone facing this situation, finding themselves struggling between continuing or quitting the relationship is very common. Neither option is easy. Let us tell you the most fundamental disadvantage of dating a narcissist; you will feel completely unimportant, disrespected, controlled, and disregarded. In short, your spouse or partner will completely neglect your feelings and needs.
If you suspect your partner has this personality disorder or maybe you are about to get into a relationship with this person, the good news is, it is possible to make it work. Before you make any decision, read this post till the end. It will take you to the bottom of dating narcissists and what to expect.
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Things to Know When Dating a Narcissist
The diagnosis of NPD is not always straightforward. Nonetheless, you might see certain clear indicators of this disorder. If you detect any of the preceding in your relationship, you might consider having them visit a specialist.
First of all, a narcissistic partner might appear to be quite exciting. It’s a complete rollercoaster trying to satisfy a narcissist. They will initially attract you with their daring, talents, confidence, and gift proposals. Therefore, joyful and magnetic nature makes it easy for them to make you fall in love immediately. However, you may later find that this persona is really a mask. Something your partner is going to use to the need for acclaim. You won’t even detect when they took on the victim role. For example, if you get into an argument, expect the blame to be aimed at you. Your connection appears to be much shallow.
Although the union appears exciting and close at first, narcissism hinders deeper ideas later on. As a result, your lover may spend time with you whenever it suits them, disregarding your intimate needs. Everything in a narcissist’s life is meant to hide their flaws. This nature simply gives them a sense of vitality. As a result, you may face several minor insults in the way they speak with you and emotional abuse. They’re going to highlight your shortcomings and degrade you in many ways. This is because narcissists in a relationship are excessively self-centered.
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What is Narcissism?
When one or both parties have a narcissistic disposition, a narcissistic relationship is born. Narcissistic Personality Condition (shorten as NPD). In simple words, it is a mental disorder that is characterized by an exaggerated feeling of self-importance as well as a strong desire for praise. Narcissistic personality disorder patients think they’re special to others. They also have almost no regard for others’ feelings.
Most people exhibit some characteristics of self-centered, narcissistic personas. A large percentage of them do not fit the criteria for being diagnosed with a personality disorder. However, if someone does, they will often refuse to admit it at first. Not only this but the person might react violently. Well, a narcissistic partner is unlikely to confess to you that they have a personality disorder. You’ll really do have to dedicate your super sensations and check back if you have any doubts.
A narcissistic relationship partner is likely to display the following characteristics:
- Supremacy or a sense of entitlement
- Lack of empathy
- Controlling or manipulative behavior
- A strong desire for adoration
- Focus on meeting one’s own demands, frequently at the expense of others’ needs
- Aggression levels that are higher
- Having trouble accepting comments on their actions
Roots of Narcissism
The most common cause behind being a narcissistic individual is having narcissistic parents. Especially those who provided them with a mask but no real personality. For example, some parents want their kids to succeed so that they might be the parents of wonderful people. They want them to be the best artists or the smartest students, and the list goes on. Narcissistic people were frequently neglected. This is because their parents were so preoccupied with themselves that they were unable to see or address their child’s emotional needs.
These parents only saw their child as useful when it served a purpose for them. Parents of children with NPD sometimes varied between emotional hunger and apathy in their children. The majority of individuals who suffer from NPD have been suffering from this condition since they were children.
As a result, narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-confidence. Also, a critical inner voice. Their personalities are often very weak, self-demeaning, disrespectful, and even hateful. They don’t take criticism well and instead employ snide, condescending remarks to make themselves feel superior. Doing so feeds their sense of superiority to a dangerous level.
Types of Narcissism
Since 99% of narcissists are prone to having some characteristics, not all of them are alike. This is an important point to understand if you are dating a narcissist. Grandiose narcissism and Vulnerable narcissism are the two main types of narcissism. These narcissism types arise from a series of early childhood events. They ultimately result in a variety of toxic relational practices.
⫸ Grandiose Narcissism
Grandiose narcissists have a lot of hostility, arrogance, and dominance. They are more self-assured and very less sensitive. They are frequently elitists who have no qualms about bragging about how terrific they are to everyone.
Grandiose narcissists are typically treated as superior in their early youth. Due to this, they expect this treatment to continue throughout their lives. If they do not receive the particular attention that they believe they are entitled to, they become more prone to openly indulge in infidelity. Not only this but they even leave their partners abruptly. Especially, in terms of romantic relationships, these people are prone to cheating and abandoning their spouses if they don’t feel special.
⫸ Vulnerable Narcissism
Narcissists who are defined to be emotionally vulnerable, but are far from sensitive nature are named the vulnerable type. They exhibit “fragile grandiosity’. In this type, narcissism serves as a front for deeper sentiments of inadequacy and incompetence. When they are not treated as if they are exceptional, they often feel mistreated or worried.
Early childhood narcissism frequently develops as a coping mechanism when it comes to dealing with abuse (emotional abuse) or neglect. Vulnerable narcissists frequently worry about how their partners see them in relationships. They can be suspicious, possessive, and anxious when it comes to their spouses having affairs or flirtations. This type of NPD also starts in childhood, but it is triggered by abuse. It is used as a coping method by the majority of people.
Later in life, they become highly hostile and suspicious in relationships. They frequently blame their partners for infidelity. And the most worrying thing is, they have a lot of power over you.
Once you discover yourself hanging in a narcissistic relationship, the very first step is to identify what is the wrong thing you’ve done. You need to consider some of the hidden factors that may have led you to this bad decision. Ask yourself did you grow up with one or both conceited parents? Do you feel more at peace whenever your partner is in charge, enabling you to relax? Is it providing you a sense of worth to be linked with those already in the spotlight? Do some of your own intelligent opinions about yourself jibe with the unfavorable image they paint of you through their words and arrogant demeanor? For certain people who have fallen in love with narcissists, co-dependency is an issue. They are prepared to put up with a certain amount of discomfort.
It’s critical to comprehend your part in the narcissistic connection. Then you can set a goal about yourself to change your portion of the equation. As a result, your partner will be challenged to adapt their certain relationship approach. You can notice your partner’s fragile self-esteem. Also, you can show compassion for the fact that his or her inflated sense of superiority. While at the same time, grandiosity is a front for self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy. Learning to exercise self-compassion can majorly help you build your self-esteem and self-worth. Don’t let yourself become a victim at all. You need to act and respect your partner as an equal in all situations.
One of the most common goals for people with a narcissistic personality disorder is to challenge and overcome the inner voices. Also, changes in attitudes that they internalized early in life are more important. They also learn to distinguish between their own characteristics as well as those of their parents. Finally, individuals must abandon their coping strategies along with behaviors while dating a narcissist. As you can see, this can be a significant challenge that necessitates a thorough examination of one’s entire psyche. The best thing you can do as a spouse is to be supportive. Try to create an environment that encourages self-compassion at all costs. Encourage your partner’s generosity and assist them in developing true self-esteem.
Dating Narcissists: Blind Spots and Red Flags
It’s so simple and easy to fall in love with a narcissist when you are in the early phases. During these phases, people tend to miss even the most obvious indicators of their mental health disorder. However, through becoming informed of your blind spots, you will prevent them and save yourself a lot of time, energy, love, and aggravation.
The following are the primary factors for your inability to spot narcissists. Have a look below:
- Sexual attraction & Seductions: Narcissists are highly skilled in manipulation. They will crazily seduce you both sexually and otherwise. They will allure you in all possible ways, making it easier to avoid the most prominent red flags even.
- Idealization: People with NPD are usually highly successful in the majority of businesses. They have an outstanding appearance. There have superpowerful talents. It’s not difficult to begin idealizing someone, particularly if you have self-confidence difficulties. When you glamorize someone, you dismiss evidence to the contrary.
- Codependency: People who have poor self-esteem are likely to fall into a narcissist’s typical trap. These are called codependent relationships. If you have a proclivity for such encounters, you may be out of touch with your feelings in order to please the other.
All of the above-mentioned reasons are difficult to overcome. At the same time, too much skepticism might make you appear paranoid. Being informed, on the other hand, is half the battle won. If your future or present partner exhibits any of the traits listed that we are going to mention below, the odds of them having NPD increase even more.
Again, not everyone who exhibits these prominent traits has a mental health illness. But they aren’t conducive to any kind of happy relationship. If you observe several of the below things at once, be very cautious. Let’s have a look:
Narcissists love boasting about their own successes as well as accomplishments in such exaggerated terms. They behave like this because they believe they are better and smarter than all the people around them. As a result, they successfully project a confident image. You can also call it a self-importance preoccupation.
In order to win adulation from others around them, narcissists would often overstate and enhance their talents in their own stories. They’re also too preoccupied with themselves to pay attention to you. There are two types of warnings. Your companion will not at all stop talking about themselves. Second, they will not engage in discourse about you.
In simple words, narcissists perceive themselves as the center of the universe due to their ill mental health. Others are two-dimensional, so they make it difficult for them to empathize. They’ll perceive you more as an extension of themselves than as a separate human being. This is because of their low self-esteem.