Can a Scammer Fall In Love With His Victim?

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

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In current times of technological advancement, people are looking up to the internet and online features that can help make their lives easier. This is not just limited to the likes of home chores and studies but also when it comes to romance.

According to statistics, in the year 2020, 270 million adults got access to online dating sites. They use applications worldwide to start their very own love stories. Now, keep in mind that these are not expensive tools. Hence it is understandable why this figure is almost double the number from five years ago.

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Can a Scammer Fall In Love With His Victim?

Human nature is hard to understand. We have heard lots of tales of people going to dating sites. They are opting for online romance and then end up disappointed. This is because they end up falling victim to such con artists. But, how do these romance scams end? Does the romance scammer ever fall in love with his victim? Does this online romance ever end up with rainbows or butterflies or is it all theft and a broken heart?

Understanding the Dynamic of Love From a Scammer’s Perspective

The answer to this depends and varies from one scammer to the next. Here are the types of scammers:

Catfish Scammer

In the first category, those who choose to catfish their victims, romance scammers often do not fall in love. The person is going to want to meet online people who they can talk to and have fun with. Maybe they wish to engage in virtual sexual activity.

However, there is an exception to this case as well. Sometimes romance scammers go for online dating because they are looking for love. This is because they are not confident to find their one and only person in person. In such cases, it is very much possible for the scammer to fall in love. Why? Well, because it is the entire reason they carried out the whole scheme.

Gold Digger Scammer

In the second category, a romance scammer who is conning women for material objects, money, or gifts will fall in love with his victim. They will not want to meet the victim face to face and will be happy with the online arrangement. Such scammers have brain chemicals that get excited only when they receive money or things. Hence, they don’t have any empathy for their victims.

They will move on from one person to the next looking for people who they can trap to get money. Once done with one site, they will move on to other sites and catch as many victims as they can to scam money out of them. Sometimes, they might come up with elaborate lies about having a medical emergency and whatnot just to get the money they want.

Fraudsters frequently claim to be involved in design or engineering projects outside of the United States to dupe unsuspecting victims. In this way, it is simpler to avoid face-to-face contact as well as more believable when they beg for money for a medical crisis or unforeseen legal bill.

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Visa Romance Scammer

The answer is completely in the case of a visa romance scammer. This is because humans are built in such a way that if they stay in touch with a person for a very long amount of time and see that the other person is doing so much for them, all humans can grow a soft spot for said individual.

In such cases, scammers initially start with the hopes that they will be just fooling the other person for their visa but that is not how it ends.

Since the individual who is a resident of the other country is pulling so many strings the scammer can develop feelings and fall in love.

While it’s true that these scammers are evil people, it is even possible for the cruelest of hearts to melt at times.

Finding True Love Online

The idea of finding your true love online seems like a fun concept, right? you don’t have to dress up, go out, or spend money. All you have to do is sit online. Use your phone and get into a relationship with a person that you feel aligns with what you’re looking for. However, it is not as easy and fun as it sounds.

Instead, finding love interests or looking for a relationship online leaves the person in a state of vulnerability. The online spaces are full of scammers who are looking to scam women out there. A scammer would try to get his victim to fall in love with him. However, once the good feelings stop, the scammer runs as far away as he can.

Now, the question arises, can a scammer fall in love with his victim?

person searching dating sites on mobile phone
Photo credit: Pexels





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A Complete Guide to Romance Scammers

The concept of romance scams has become very common as time passes. Women flock to social media sites and dating sites to find their online romance.  But they end up disappointed as they get into contact with catfishing romance scammers. But, before we get into the details of romance scams. Let’s take a look at the different types of romance scammers out there.

Catfish Scammers

First and foremost are the catfishing scammers. These individuals go over dating sites or social media platforms and pretend to be someone else. The idea behind their con is that they will trick the woman into thinking they’re someone else. Such relationships usually begin from your average dating site such as Tinder and then progress into an online dating relationship.

Catfish scammers carry out elaborate romance scams. They do it just because their brains are wired to gain validation. They get it through fake romantic relationships which they rarely get in their real lives.

∎ Gold Digger Romance Scammer Men

The next type is your gold digger scammers. A  romance scammer engaging in such an activity would find a lonely woman through a social media site or dating app. He would then proceed to make her develop feelings for himself. Now, once the victim starts falling in love with them, these scammers would begin the romance fraud. This is done by sending a request their victim’s way.

Such a request would include demanding the woman send money to the romance scammer. Or they might ask to send them gifts, like fancy clothes, shoes, etc.

Such online romance scammers are on the lookout for material objects and don’t care about anything else. They will also try to extract the woman’s financial information. They get all the info they could need for a successful romance scam.

∎ Visa Romance Scams

Online dating is not don’t just for online romance. A lot of times men tend to head online. They opt for online dating methods to find themselves a girl who lives in the country. This is done so that they desire to get a visa. Such a case of online fraud is most common in the case of individuals who would like to get into the USA.

Now, what these scammers do is that they find a fake love interest online. Once done, they start pretending as if they are developing feelings. Such con artists are always working on elaborate romance scams. They are simply desperate to get the visa and would go to any level to get that nationality! They make big promises and gain the trust of their victim.

When done, the romance scammers try to meet the real person. They do it to convince them to bring said scammer into the country. Once done, the online romance goes to hell and the romance scammer flees from the scene.

Girl browsing social media apps on mobile phone
Photo credit: Pexels

Detecting Romance Scams and Romance Scammers

Scamming someone online means breaking their heart and their promise for the sake of money, attention, sexual activity, or attention. while these scammers tend to have a field day with their fallen victims, the victims themselves are stuck with a broken heart, an inability to get close to anyone else for a long time, or just lost resources including money and more.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

The smart people trick is to keep your eyes out for even a single red flag if you are dating online. Down below are some of the red flags you need to watch out for to avoid getting scammed.

You should also look for these red flags if your friends happen to be in an online relationship. Be their guardian angel to save them from ending up in a long list of victims.

◉ Gold Digger Trouble

A high amount of attraction to money and wealth is always a red flag be it an online relationship or an in-person one. You never want to be with someone whose entire focus is on the amount of money you earn, the gifts you give to them, or your financial information.

If you find your love interested in fixated on any of these aspects, you should pick up your phone and get the investigation started.

◉ No Meet-Up

Another way to detect an online scam is if your forever love refuses to meet you in person and only wants to talk on the phone.

All online relationships are created with the idea that at one point or another when both people can, they will shift their relationship to the normal dynamic. If your lover refuses to meet in person, it’s time to take a step back and analyze whether you are being conned or not.

American Passport
Photo credit: Pexels

◉ Inquire

A very easy and basic way to identify a con man is by asking around. If you have any friends or family living in the location that your online lover is claiming to live in, get your investigation started and ask around.

Inquiring about an individual in the place they live is the best way to know as much as you can about them. After all, the neighbors are the ones who are with the person twenty-four hours a day and might have an idea of any suspicious activity.

◉ Go Online

If you don’t have the time or the effort to talk to people in the scammer’s vicinity, the next best way to investigate the matter on hand is by going online.

Online spaces come equipped with all sorts of information and in today’s world, almost all of us have an online trail. Go online, search for their name, and see what comes up.

◉ Photo Check-Up

Another warning sign is if your online love interest sends you a photo that looks suspiciously similar to those of stock photos or of models.

If that is the case, the easiest way to deal with such photos is by doing a reverse search on the image. Google will automatically lead you to the source if the picture has been picked up online.

What Should I Do If My Online Lover is a Scammer?

⫸ Quick Action for No More Loss

If you have been smart enough to identify that your online love interest is indeed a scammer, you need to take certain actions to halt the romance scam.

⫸ Cut off Contact

First off, start by cutting all contact from the said person on all dating sites. You need to do this even if you are emotionally attached. Keep in mind that the cases where an online scammer falls in love with their victim are very low. There is no amount of feats that you can pull to get them to love you. In all such cases, it is crucial to remember that there is so much more fish in the sea.  simply move on.

Next up, halt the process of sending gifts and material items to your scammer. Now, that you know they are in it for money, they are no good for you. it is advised to never send them anything else.

⫸ Change Financial Details

A lot of times online people tend to tell their financial information such as credit card details. they tell it to the people they meet online thinking that they are in love with them.

If you have done anything of such sort, the best thing for you to do is to simply change your financial information. Do it as quickly as you can.

It is advised to do this before you confront your romance scammers. this is so that they stay unaware and don’t take anything else out of spite.

Wrap Up

Falling in love online is a very common phenomenon these days. The internet is a great opportunity to meet new people, form genuine connections, and even form romantic connections with others.

The key is to take these interactions one step at a time. Properly examine your new friends, and be suspicious if responses don’t make sense.

Everyone has a digital footprint in the era of social media plus online dating. Take a look at their social media pages to learn more about them. If they have no contacts or a sparsely populated profile. do a Google image search to check if their photographs have appeared elsewhere.

Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you believe you have been scammed online; you’re not alone. Also, get in touch with authorities if you have been scammed out of tons of money.


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Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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