7 Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence You Need to Watch Out For

Emotional intelligence can make or break a relationship.

People with high emotional intelligence have fulfilling and successful relationships with their friends, family, colleagues, and soulmates. On the other hand, those with low emotional intelligence struggle to maintain a friendly equation with people around them.

Discovering the EQ or emotional intelligence of your partner may tell you all you need to know about them, including if a relationship with them is worth your time and energy.

Read on to know about the seven signs of low emotional intelligence that you need to watch out for.

It’s always about them

The most obvious sign of a person’s emotional intelligence lies in their conversation style. If they have a tough time keeping the focus of a conversation off themselves, consider it a red flag. They dominate the conversation and find ways to make every topic, no matter how irrelevant, about themselves.

Sometimes, they are a little more sophisticated about it. They may seem to take a genuine interest in what you are saying. However, as the conversation progresses, you realize that they have invalidated your experience by telling you that theirs was better or worse. And just like that, the focus is back on them.

They think you’re too sensitive

A person with low emotional intelligence is not very good at reading the room. As a result, they often end up cracking inappropriate jokes or making insensitive remarks at the most inopportune moments.

These people can cause awkward moments at funerals or after tragic events. The worst part is that when you react to their mistimed jokes, they behave as if you are oversensitive. They will try to make you feel embarrassed for overreacting.

Not being able to understand the emotional tone of an event is a visible sign that they may lack the emotional intelligence necessary to react appropriately.

They play the blame game too frequently

If a person is struggling with emotional intelligence, it shows in their attitude towards others, especially when they are going through a rough time. They are not intuitive about how their emotions could be causing them problems.

Instead, when things go south, their first reaction is to lay the blame on someone else. It is the situation, the behavior of another person, they had no choice or you are unable to understand them. The excuses are plenty.

The one thing people with low emotional intelligence won’t do is hold themselves accountable for their actions.

They have few or no lasting friendships

One of the more natural ways to find out about your date’s emotional intelligence is to take a look at their friendships. An emotionally intelligent person has a secure and dependable network of friends and acquaintances while people with low EQ have very few close friends.

This is because close friendships demand compassion, emotional support, and mutual understanding. All of these are qualities that a person with low emotional intelligence lacks. They rub people off the wrong way, often appearing unintentionally rude or unfeeling. This makes it difficult for them to maintain lasting relationships with the people around them.

See Also: How To Make Friends And Keep Them

They cannot accept a different point of view

If your date seems to defend their point of view a little too aggressively, it might be because they have low emotional intelligence. They will refuse to hear what you’re trying to say, especially if it is even mildly different from their standpoint.

Such behavior may be acceptable regarding one or two topics that a person feels strongly about. However, if you find them doggedly trying to win all arguments, no matter what, it is time to step back and reconsider the relationship. Having differing perspectives is intolerable for a low EQ person, which is why they simply cannot agree to disagree.

They are unable to keep commitments

A person’s inability to stick to the promises they have made previously is one of the possible signs of low emotional intelligence. Canceling plans may be blamed on nervousness, but if someone is continuously ditching you at the last minute, it’s because they lack emotional intelligence.

Such behavior displays a blatant disrespect for your time or a weak sense of self that doesn’t allow them to say no when plans are first being made. They cannot empathize enough to understand that they need to inform you about any change in plans ahead of time.

Their actions are motivated by personal gain

If your date is being kind to others for transactional purposes, it could mean that they lack emotional intelligence. They tip the waiter generously and you might think they did it out of the goodness of their hearts. But watch out for their motivations.

If they admit that they did something nice purely for personal gain (for example, so that the waiter gives you better service next time), you should be careful around them. Such people are okay with manipulating others as long as it makes them appear superior.

Final Thoughts

These are the seven signs of low emotional intelligence that you need to be aware of. Even if your date is not always at fault, you must be equally supported and heard in the relationship. Their low EQ should not make you solely responsible for all the emotional work between you two. It is a two-way street, and if your date is unable or unwilling to put in their fair share of emotional investment, know that you need to talk to them or consult a professional.

See Also: How And Why To Work On Your Emotional Intelligence