9 Signs That You Have the Words of Affirmation Love Language

By John V

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

In our complicated world of human interactions, the search for deeper, more meaningful connections frequently leads us to examine and appreciate the diverse ways in which we express and interpret love, particularly in the arena of romantic relationships. Pastor Gary Chapman, a well-known relationship counselor and best-selling author of “The 5 Love Languages,” has thrown important light on this subject. Chapman’s works introduced the novel concept of “love languages,” in which everyone has their own unique style of giving and receiving affection.

Among these love languages, words of affirmation stand out as an extremely strong mode of emotional communication, emphasizing the importance of verbal expression in building and maintaining relationships. In this love language, which goes much beyond the simple exchange of friendly words, the domain of genuine compliments, emotional encouragement, verbal appreciation, and the deliberate avoidance of negative or hurtful language is examined.

This article aims to delve deeper into the notion of love languages and, using examples and tales, throw light on the indicators that a person’s primary love language is the words of affirmation. Recognizing these signs can lead to a greater knowledge of your own or another person’s emotional needs, improved communication, and more meaningful relationships.

1. Spoken or Written Words Matter Greatly to You

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For individuals whose primary love language is words of affirmation, the power of words, whether spoken or written, cannot be overstated. The way people communicate with them, the choice of words they use, and the tone in which those words are delivered carry profound significance.

Being highly sensitive to the words around them, they tend to be more attentive to what people say or write and analyze these words carefully. These individuals thrive on affirming words that fuel their self-esteem, validate their feelings, and acknowledge their worth. A simple phrase such as “I believe in you” or “You are doing such a great job” can light up their world and fill their ‘love tank’, providing them with the emotional fuel they need to navigate life’s situations.

However, this sensitivity to words also means that negative comments or harsh criticism can deeply affect them. For people whose love language is words of affirmation, a derogatory remark or negative words can feel like a personal attack, leading to a sense of inadequacy or feeling overwhelmed. These individuals need to surround themselves with positivity and ensure that their communication with others is rooted in kindness and understanding.

>> Also Read: How to Really Love Yourself From the Inside Out

2. You Value Genuine Feelings and Encouragement

People with words of affirmation love language tend to be more emotionally responsive to genuine feelings and words of encouragement. For them, words are not mere sounds or written symbols; they are vessels that carry authentic emotions and sentiments.

When people express genuine feelings towards them, such as saying, “I am proud of you” or “I am lucky to have you,” it resonates deeply within them. It’s not just about hearing these words; it’s about feeling the warmth and sincerity behind them, understanding the sentiment they carry, and the affirmation they provide.

Similarly, they thrive on encouragement and motivational words. Hearing their partner giving them a pep talk before a significant event or someone acknowledging their effort and hard work significantly impacts their motivation and confidence. The validation they derive from such affirming words boosts their self-esteem, reaffirms their worth, and propels them forward.

3. You Express Love Through Affirming Words

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For those with words of affirmation as their love language, expressing their love is often a verbal activity. They take great care in crafting their words, ensuring that they reflect their deepest sentiments. These individuals understand that their words have the potential to build a stronger emotional bond with their partners.

Whether it’s whispering sweet nothings during a romantic dinner, leaving a thoughtful note in their partner’s lunch box, or sending an uplifting text message in the middle of a busy day, they find creative ways to convey their affection and appreciation.

Expressing love through affirming words isn’t necessarily about grand gestures or big words. In fact, it’s often the little things that mean the most. A simple phrase like, “I appreciate you for helping me out today,” or “You make my life better,” can profoundly impact their partner. For them, such expressions are more than just words; they are a testament to their love and the value they place on their relationship.

4. You Seek Verbal Appreciation and Compliments

If your primary love language is words of affirmation, verbal appreciation and compliments play a vital role in how you perceive love. Receiving compliments not only makes you feel good but validates your efforts and achievements. It’s not about seeking constant praise or approval, but rather about feeling seen, appreciated, and valued.

Whether it’s your partner responding to a new outfit with words of admiration like, “You look beautiful,” or recognizing your efforts in managing life’s situations well, these verbal affirmations speak volumes about their love for you. Similarly, acknowledgment of your personality traits, skills, or accomplishments significantly bolsters your self-esteem and fuels your ‘love tank’.

However, the importance of these compliments lies in their sincerity. Empty flattery or insincere praise can feel misleading or even hurtful. As someone who values genuine feelings and encouragement, it’s crucial that the compliments you receive are sincere and come from the heart.

5. You Often Use Words to Show Gratitude

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People who identify with the words of affirmation love language often have a deep-seated appreciation for gratitude. Expressing thanks and acknowledging others’ actions is a significant part of their communication. This is because words of gratitude not only make the receiver feel loved and valued but also fulfill the speaker’s emotional need to express their heartfelt appreciation.

You might find yourself frequently using phrases like “I’m so grateful for…” or “Thank you for…” to express your gratitude towards your partner, friends, or family. Whether it’s for small favors like helping out with chores or significant actions such as supporting you through a challenging time, you never miss an opportunity to convey your appreciation through words.

Moreover, expressing gratitude is not limited to responding to others’ actions. You might also express gratitude for your partner’s qualities, their love, or simply their presence in your life, further deepening your emotional connection.

6. You Need Words More Than Actions

The old adage, “Actions speak louder than words,” might not hold true for those whose primary love language is words of affirmation. For you, words carry an emotional weight that actions might not always convey. This isn’t to say that actions are unimportant, but that the significance of expressing love verbally tends to take precedence.

A heartfelt “I love you” or an encouraging “I’m proud of you” can feel more impactful than a surprise date night or an unexpected gift. You might find more comfort and feel loved hearing your partner’s feelings verbally expressed rather than implied through actions.

Additionally, it’s important to note that this does not make you needy or overly dependent on verbal affirmations. It’s merely a reflection of how you perceive and receive love. By understanding this, you can better communicate your needs to your partner and help them understand how their words profoundly affect you. In turn, this promotes a more fulfilling and mutually understanding relationship.

>> Also Read: Does My Boyfriend Love Me? (22 Signs To Confirm)

7. You Enjoy Writing or Receiving Love Letters

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A love letter is a beautiful fusion of written words and genuine feelings. If your primary love language is words of affirmation, these letters can carry extraordinary emotional value. Whether it’s crafting a heartfelt letter for your loved one or receiving a page filled with loving words, these written expressions of love can evoke powerful emotions and create cherished memories.

Your pen becomes a medium to pour out your deepest feelings and thoughts. Whether it’s leaving a small note of encouragement for your partner on the bathroom mirror or writing a full-length letter on special occasions, you understand the immense potential that these written words hold.

8. You Are Hurt by Negative Words or Criticism

The same sensitivity that makes words of affirmation love language individuals resonate with positive and affirming words can make them highly sensitive to negative words and criticism. Negative comments or harshly spoken words can leave a lasting impact, often leading to feelings of hurt and inadequacy.

Constructive criticism is a part of life, and no one is immune to it. However, for someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation, criticism can often feel more personal. A single negative remark or a critical comment can overshadow numerous positive comments, leading to a feeling of being undervalued or not good enough.

This sensitivity to words means that it’s crucial for these individuals to communicate their feelings to their partners, helping them understand the impact their words can have. It also necessitates developing coping strategies to handle criticism and negative comments, learning to separate the intention from the impact, and focusing on personal growth and self-esteem.

9. You Frequently Use Words to Support Others

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If you or your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, chances are you’re a pro at using words to support others. Being naturally empathetic, you can sense when someone around you – a partner, friend, or even a colleague – is going through a tough time, and you use your love language to uplift them.

Your comforting words can become a ray of hope for them, a verbal expression of your support. Simple phrases like, “You can do this,” “I believe in you,” or “I’m here for you,” can offer solace and reassurance. In times of triumph, your words of celebration and praise can multiply their joy.

This trait also allows you to have a positive impact on other people’s lives. Your understanding and kind words can help others feel valued and loved. Consequently, this could improve not only your personal relationships but also your friendships and professional relationships.


Understanding our own love language and that of our partners, family members, or friends, can foster deeper connections and more effective communication. For those who speak the words of affirmation love language, understanding the value of spoken and written words can empower them to express their love more explicitly and help others express their love in ways that resonate with them.

Remember, the goal of understanding the words of affirmation love language is not to change oneself or others but to accept and embrace this aspect of emotional communication. Knowing your love language is not a limitation but an asset that helps you make your relationships more fulfilling and harmonious. Whether it’s about expressing genuine feelings, showing gratitude, needing words more than actions, being hurt by negative words, or using words to support others, every sign is a step closer to embracing the power of affirming words in love and life.

>> Also Read: How Do You Know You Love Someone: Signs You Should Know!

FAQs: Words of Affirmation Love Language

How can I communicate to my partner that my primary love language is words of affirmation?

Communication is key in any relationship. Start by explaining that there are different love languages, and then express that you identify most with words of affirmation. Share specific examples of what that looks like for you – whether it’s expressing love through affirming words, needing more words than actions, or how negative comments affect you deeply. This will give your partner a clear understanding and practical ways they can meet your emotional needs, and you will also know you partner’s love language through this.

Is it possible to have more than one primary love language?

Absolutely. While one love language usually dominates, it’s possible to resonate with more than one. This is known as having multiple primary love languages. You might primarily resonate with words of affirmation, but still, appreciate acts of service, quality time, physical touch, or receiving gifts. Understanding this can add another layer of depth to your relationships, helping you appreciate the diverse ways in which love can be expressed and received.

How can I express the words of affirmation love language if it doesn’t come naturally to me?

Start small and practice regularly. Begin with simple phrases like “I appreciate you,” “Thank you for…,” or “I’m proud of you.” You could also try writing your feelings down in a letter or note if speaking to them out loud feels challenging initially. Over time, as you see the positive impact of your words on your relationships, expressing your feelings verbally might become more comfortable. Remember, genuine feelings and sincerity are key here. As long as your words come from the heart, they’ll be appreciated.





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John V

John is a digital marketing master's student who enjoys writing articles on business, finance, health, and relationships in his free time. His diverse interests and ability to convey complex ideas in a clear, engaging manner make him a valuable contributor to these fields.

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