Five Ways to be Confident and Take on the World
Are you happy with whom you are? Do you often change your appearance to feel more confident in the inside? Well, it’s not just the clothes that are great; it’s the person wearing the clothes that is great. Hear that my friend? Whatever is in your heart will shine on the outside!
Confidence takes time. For me, faith and confidence go hand in hand. Believing that God will nourish and protect me is important for me to survive. As they all say, I have to nourish to flourish! Also, believing that I have the power to make a difference in this world is important as well. In order to make a difference, I have to appreciate myself as well, not just other people.
Just because I make mistakes and have personal issues to work on doesn’t give me a reason to not love myself. I can tell myself that I am full, loved, special, and blessed while building myself to the top! We all have personal issues, but it’s the person around us that love us that makes us what we are.
But what’s the secret? How do people stay so confident through it all, even though their downs in life? Don’t they feel discouraged when they fall?
The secret is this. It’s not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. Being confident means not giving up on yourself! It means accepting that we all deserve an amazing support system. It means focusing on your values that makes you who you are. It means thinking about what you want in your life.
Here are five ways to be confident so you can take on the world!
1. Be assertive in a human way
When I went out of country to visit my family, I felt exhausted. Of course I enjoyed spending time with my loved ones, but I got drained so easily. I didn’t get enough sleep because of the time change, I sweated nonstop, I rarely drank water (possibly only one glass a day), and I didn’t even get the chance to exercise, journal, or meditate. I’m still surprised that I survived!
As a writer, not getting that “me” time because of the introverted person I am, is not enough. Extroverts find energy from people, but not introverts. I’m not saying I’m anti-social. You can be social and an introvert at the same time. Trust me, I love people! But, knowing what’s best for me is really important and that means giving time to myself to just relax and grow.
Although I loved pleasing my family and putting them first, I wasn’t prioritizing my health which made me even worse. If I wanted to sing more, talk more, and listen more, I would have to recharge myself and have some “me” time. I had to be assertive and make time to journal and sort out all my thoughts.
You can be assertive without hurting others. If this means for example, you have to study, say it! If it means, you need to recharge yourself, say it! In the end of the day, you’ll be able to give your time to others when you give unconditional love and time for yourself.
But when we are trying to be assertive, we have to do it in a nice way. Being assertive doesn’t mean being rude or aggressive. It means being honest and aware of the judgments of other people and turning that into reality only when you know it is true. Keep in mind; we can’t be assertive in every situation all the time.
Family comes first and to make the world a better place, we must love our families. This means loving ourselves first in order to make this happen! Our family loves us, so why shouldn’t we love ourselves?
2. Forgive yourself and others
When you come into a new environment with new people, it’s normal to feel a bit uneasy. Not everyone is going to be like you, and you just have to accept that. When you come into that situation, just forgive yourself and others. No one is perfect, and everyone has their own issues to work on.
Of course, there’s no reason to be rude to someone, but we can’t control people. We can only influence them. That’s what being confident means. Forgiving others takes courage and also helps you from holding grudges against someone which is unhealthy for your sake.
Being confident also means seeing yourself in other people. It means connecting with people and having empathy, because you know yourself enough to understand other people. By this I mean keeping those that are struggling closer.
These days, people get insecure and jealous when someone is better than them. Every human does, but that is not our true nature. That is something we can change and should change! Instead of being jealous, we must work towards our goal and better ourselves. That’s the key! I know, it’s hard sometimes, but we have to.
Instead of being jealous, we can all learn from each other. Just because someone is different and has some kind of disorder doesn’t make them any less than they are. Everyone has their own story and journey, and God has a plan. That’s where true confidence comes from, knowing that we are all unique and are not alone when it comes to difficulties in life. That’s where forgiveness comes to business and it’s so important.
3. Talk to yourself in a positive and loving way
This is the most important part. We are our own worst and tough critics. I often beat myself up when I am filled with negative thoughts. When I was on the plane for fourteen hours on my journey to Bangladesh, I was having an anxiety attack. I kept on repeating positive affirmations and fighting all my negative thoughts. However, the fighting only made things worse. I couldn’t sleep and I ended up crying for almost an hour.
When your thoughts are racing like a fast train, let them come and let them go. Don’t fight your thoughts, accept them. Yes, this means accepting even the worst of worst thoughts. If you don’t, you won’t be able to get past it and invent a better and kinder thought. This means don’t judge yourself because God isn’t judging you. Talk to yourself like your best friend would.
First thing first, in order to have loving and kind thoughts, we must be kind to ourselves. We must treat ourselves with the same love that we treat other people. We must see the good in ourselves like we see the good in others, right? In order to do that, we must treat ourselves like a mother treats her child.
I tell myself over and over “I am full. I am loved. I am special. I am safe. I am okay.” These words believe it or not, are actually true. When you keep telling yourself these words you will see that it was never wrong. We are the one who are limiting ourselves, when there’s an amazing support system all around us. That’s how we become confident, by being stronger together.
4. See peoples judgments with a sense of humor
If someone belittles you or judges you, laugh it off or turn it into a joke. I know it may seem hard, but another person looking down on you is not a reflection of who you are. Sometimes, taking things seriously only leads to more stress and heartache. I know we all forget sometimes, I do too because I’m human. But from my experience I learn that seeing life with a sense of humor just to break the ice every now and then can help us all live a little longer.
How do we see judgments with a sense of humor? It’s hard isn’t it? That’s because we’re used to getting into the self-defense mode. I’ll provide some examples. I was told before that I need to eat more and I was skinny by my friends. I saw that as funny and instead built some compassion for myself. Instead of taking it in a negative way, I was aware that my friends said it with concern. Therefore, I let it build me instead of break me.
I’m in a healthier weight now, and I feel better about myself, but I never define myself by my weight. At the end of the day, God made me this way because I was born this way. Besides, we all come into a situation in life where we’re overweight or underweight. When that happens, we can use it to motivate us to take care of ourselves even better!
That’s where confidence comes from, taking care of yourself and knowing where your worth lies. I wish you the best. Have a peaceful day because remember, if you think you’re calm, you are calm my friend.
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Author: Samia Mehbub
Samia Mehbub is a Bangladeshi American writer, inspirational speaker, and aspiring English teacher. She is the author of "Inspired to Comfort Your Soul" and "Inspired to Comfort Your Soul Volume ll." She is also the founder and Youtuber of weaswords, an organization that brings mental health awareness. As a junior at the University of Central Florida majoring in English Literature, she writes for mental health literary magazines, such as Turtle Way and Word Gathering.