Top 9 Things To Give Up Immediately If You Want To Become Happy

By Stefany Land

April 21, 2017   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

things to give up to be happy

Are you truly happy?

A lot of people forget that happiness is a choice. They overlook the fact that being happy is a conscious choice one has to make each day.

Many people live their lives blaming everyone and everything for their problems. Others just can’t let go of the past and, instead of enjoying the moment, they become nagging pessimists.

If you wish to be happy, here are 9 things to give up to be happy immediately:

Give up control

We often wish to control everything that happens in our lives. We want to control people, events, situations, and even our coworkers. Literally, we wish to control every part of our lives.

However, the truth is that we cannot control everything that happens. The only thing we can control is our mind.

Be willing to give up your need to be in control always and see the beauty in letting it go. Let life unfold itself.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength” – Marcus Aurelius

See Also: Changing Perceptions: Understanding What We Can Control In Life

Give up on negative self-talk

The most destructive force in the universe is the person you see in the mirror. Negative self-talk can have such a hold on you and your psyche that it can literally destroy you.

Don’t hurt yourself by having a negative, destructive and self-defeating mindset. Don’t believe yourself all the time. Often you are lying to yourself.

The truth is that you are more than what your negative mind tells you.

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways” – Buddha

Give up the need for validation

Many people go through life trying to impress others constantly. Their whole lives revolve around impressing others.

People will often change their look and personality just to have a better appeal to others.

Unfortunately, trying to get validation from others has never made anyone happier so stop trying so hard to impress others. Take off your mask and let the world see who you truly are. Embrace the real you and let your lovely mannerism, warm heart and kindness speak out. Give yourself the chance to impress others by being you.

“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” – Oscar Wilde.


Give up attachment

As soon as you are ready to understand the world around you, you’ll find yourself looking for attachment. Most of the time, it is presented as love.

From early on, we learn to attach ourselves to family, jobs, friends, and to one special person. If you want to become happier, detach yourself from all of these people. Keep in mind that detaching from your loved ones doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. Love and attachment actually have nothing to do with each other.

Love is a kind of selfless act where you would treat others the same way you would like to be treated. Love comes from a place of kindness, joy, happiness, empathy, while attachment comes from a place of fear of not wanting or being able to do something. You might not fully grasp this at first, but keep practicing and, soon enough, you’ll learn how to let go of attachment.

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.” – Simone Weil

Never place your worth on your career

Have you met someone whose whole life revolves around his career?

There are literally thousands of people like that walking around. These people try really hard to please their bosses in every possible way.

Yes, we all need to work to survive and feed our families. Often, this also involves relying on someone else for recognition and approval. In general, there is nothing wrong with these things.

The problem starts when we base our happiness solely on our employer’s validation. Basing your happiness on external validation is a sure way to become unhappy because you are letting your employer decide your value.

Instead, don’t wait for your bosses’ validation. Validate yourself every day and tell yourself how good you are with your job.

What if you don’t get the promotion you worked so hard for? You are going to be tanked, aren’t you?

So, instead of waiting on someone else’s validation; validate yourself every day.

“Expectations feed frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things and outcomes we wish to control; but don’t” – Steve Maraboli

Let go of the past

Often times, when things don’t seem to go as planned, we look back at the past and regret our decisions. These actions contribute more to our unhappiness.

Instead of looking back, it’s better if we let it go. It will be hard, but you have to realize that there is nothing you can do to change the past.

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over. It can hurt you no more.” – Mandy Hale.

Give up future results

Remember the last time you reached your goal?

You feel successful, confident, smart and very proud of yourself. Reaching a goal, especially a major one, makes you feel extreme happiness. However, this amazing feeling is often soon gone.

But, what happens if we try and never reach our goals?

We usually get very disappointed and give it all up. We feel like failures. Despite that, you should learn how to take pride in the knowledge that you tried and tried really hard.

Understand that setting goals is a good thing, but don’t base your happiness only on that goal. Take action towards it but make sure your happiness won’t suffer if you fail to achieve it.

“Happy people plan action they don’t plan results” – Dennis Wholey

Give up the expectation of a perfect partner

As we grow up, we start to establish what we consider as an ideal partner. We even fantasize about how the person should walk, what job he should have and, most important of all, what his character is. We immediately reject someone who doesn’t fit our perfect picture.

But, the truth is, there is no perfect person on this planet. We are all born with flaws.

Instead of concentrating on your partner’s flaws, just realize that it may be their characteristic that is showing. People’s characteristics make them who they are and in no way should you ever strive to change that. Trying to change someone else is a sure way to destroy a relationship.

Instead, embrace your partner for who he is. Accept your partner 100% as you would wish to be accepted.

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love“– Tom Robbins

love quotes

Don’t resist change

Even though change is a vital part of our lives, we still fear it so much. In reality, however, change is actually good. It will help you grow and transform into a better human being. Instead of fearing it, change should be embraced without any resistance.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls’ Joseph Campbell

See Also: Follow Your Bliss

A happy life is not something that falls out of the sky or that we get by being around other people or having a relationship. A happy life is one we create. Use these tips and start cultivating your happy life today.

Stefany Land

Stefany Land is on a lifelong mission to help people stay positive on their life journey and become their greatest version. She loves babies and all things creative and unusual.

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