• Business

    Business Ideas

    ALL
    • In-Demand Businesses
    • Businesses That Never Fail
    • Best Passive Income Ideas for Increasing Cash Flow
    • Essential Tips To Start An Online Business
    • Best Websites To Buy Or Sell An Online Business For Free
    • Everything You Need to Know About Online Selling 
    • Current Business Trends: 9 Things to Keep in Mind
    • How to Open a Coffee Shop Business: A Comprehensive Guide
    • Effective Ways to Start your Business from Scratch 
    • The Main Types And Advantages Of Online Business
    Menu
    • In-Demand Businesses
    • Businesses That Never Fail
    • Best Passive Income Ideas for Increasing Cash Flow
    • Essential Tips To Start An Online Business
    • Best Websites To Buy Or Sell An Online Business For Free
    • Everything You Need to Know About Online Selling 
    • Current Business Trends: 9 Things to Keep in Mind
    • How to Open a Coffee Shop Business: A Comprehensive Guide
    • Effective Ways to Start your Business from Scratch 
    • The Main Types And Advantages Of Online Business

    Tips For A Successful Business

    ALL
    • Creative Business Proposal Ideas for Better Sales
    • Easy Digital Marketing Strategies for Small Business
    • Easy Steps to Develop Effective Time Management Skills
    • ClickUp, Trello or Hive?
    • Best SEO Tips for Small Businesses
    • Lessons Every Business Can Learn From Coworking Spaces
    • The Best Digital Marketing Strategies for a Real Estate Business
    • Useful Tips to Make Your E-Commerce Business Successful.
    • Why Do You Need to Track Your Spending
    Menu
    • Creative Business Proposal Ideas for Better Sales
    • Easy Digital Marketing Strategies for Small Business
    • Easy Steps to Develop Effective Time Management Skills
    • ClickUp, Trello or Hive?
    • Best SEO Tips for Small Businesses
    • Lessons Every Business Can Learn From Coworking Spaces
    • The Best Digital Marketing Strategies for a Real Estate Business
    • Useful Tips to Make Your E-Commerce Business Successful.
    • Why Do You Need to Track Your Spending
  • Money

    Invest Money

    ALL
    • Best Safe Investments
    • Investing In Real Estate
    • How To Invest: Are Your Investment Right Your Age
    • Best Alternative Investments
    • Best Investments To Beat Inflation
    • How To Invest In Collectibles
    Menu
    • Best Safe Investments
    • Investing In Real Estate
    • How To Invest: Are Your Investment Right Your Age
    • Best Alternative Investments
    • Best Investments To Beat Inflation
    • How To Invest In Collectibles

    Banking

    ALL
    • Best Savings Account
    • Best High Yield Savings Account
    • Best CD Rates
    • Best Money Market Accounts
    • Best Online Checking Account
    • Best Banking Apps
    Menu
    • Best Savings Account
    • Best High Yield Savings Account
    • Best CD Rates
    • Best Money Market Accounts
    • Best Online Checking Account
    • Best Banking Apps

    Loan

    ALL
    • Best Personal Loan
    • Best Low-Interest Personal Loans
    • Best Personal Loans for Bad Credit
    • Best Personal Loans for Excellent Credit
    • Best Debt Consolidation Loans
    • Best Student Loans
    Menu
    • Best Personal Loan
    • Best Low-Interest Personal Loans
    • Best Personal Loans for Bad Credit
    • Best Personal Loans for Excellent Credit
    • Best Debt Consolidation Loans
    • Best Student Loans

    Insurance

    ALL
    • Sproutt Life Insurance Reviews
    • eHealth Insurance Reviews
    • Cheap Car Insurance Reviews
    • Embrace Pet Insurance Reviews
    • Best Rideshare Insurance Reviews
    Menu
    • Sproutt Life Insurance Reviews
    • eHealth Insurance Reviews
    • Cheap Car Insurance Reviews
    • Embrace Pet Insurance Reviews
    • Best Rideshare Insurance Reviews
  • Forex

    Featured

    ALL
    • Best Forex Trading Courses
    • Best Forex Academy
    • Best Forex Trading Coaches
    • Best Forex Mentors
    Menu
    • Best Forex Trading Courses
    • Best Forex Academy
    • Best Forex Trading Coaches
    • Best Forex Mentors

    Learn To Trade Forex With Dumb Little Man

    ALL
    • Best Forex Brokers Review
    • Best Forex Trading Software
    • How To Trade Forex
    • How to Read Forex Charts
    • Best Forex Indicators
    • Best Forex Screeners
    • Best Time To Trade Forex
    • Best Forex Trading Tools
    • AvaTrade Review
    • CedarFX Review
    • Forex.com Review
    • Interactive Brokers Review
    Menu
    • Best Forex Brokers Review
    • Best Forex Trading Software
    • How To Trade Forex
    • How to Read Forex Charts
    • Best Forex Indicators
    • Best Forex Screeners
    • Best Time To Trade Forex
    • Best Forex Trading Tools
    • AvaTrade Review
    • CedarFX Review
    • Forex.com Review
    • Interactive Brokers Review
  • Stocks & Crypto

    Stocks

    ALL
    • Best Stock Brokers
    • Best Online Brokers for Stocks Under $100
    • Best Online Brokers for ETF Investing
    • Best Brokers for Mutual Funds
    • Best Online Brokers for Bonds
    • Best Blue Chip Stocks
    • Best Swing Trade Stocks
    • Stages of a Stock Market Bubble
    • Best Stock Investing and Trading Podcasts
    • Best Defensive Stocks to Invest
    Menu
    • Best Stock Brokers
    • Best Online Brokers for Stocks Under $100
    • Best Online Brokers for ETF Investing
    • Best Brokers for Mutual Funds
    • Best Online Brokers for Bonds
    • Best Blue Chip Stocks
    • Best Swing Trade Stocks
    • Stages of a Stock Market Bubble
    • Best Stock Investing and Trading Podcasts
    • Best Defensive Stocks to Invest

    Cryptocurrency

    ALL
    • Best Cryptocurrency Trading Courses
    • Best Cryptocurrency Brokers
    • Best Cryptocurrency Exchanges
    • Best Cryptocurrency Apps
    • Learn about Cryptocurrency
    • How To Earn Cryptocurrency
    • How to Trade Cryptocurrency
    • Best Cryptocurrencies
    • Best Crypto Trading Bots
    • Best Crypto Portfolio Trackers
    Menu
    • Best Cryptocurrency Trading Courses
    • Best Cryptocurrency Brokers
    • Best Cryptocurrency Exchanges
    • Best Cryptocurrency Apps
    • Learn about Cryptocurrency
    • How To Earn Cryptocurrency
    • How to Trade Cryptocurrency
    • Best Cryptocurrencies
    • Best Crypto Trading Bots
    • Best Crypto Portfolio Trackers
  • Health

    Health Conditions

    ALL
    • Macular Degeneration
    • Testosterone
    • Constipation
    • Hormonal Imbalance
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Sleeping Problems
    • Baldness
    • Lower Back Pain
    • Toenail Fungus
    • Mouth Sores
    • Eye Dark Circles
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Headaches
    • Face Acne
    Menu
    • Macular Degeneration
    • Testosterone
    • Constipation
    • Hormonal Imbalance
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Sleeping Problems
    • Baldness
    • Lower Back Pain
    • Toenail Fungus
    • Mouth Sores
    • Eye Dark Circles
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Headaches
    • Face Acne

    Product Reviews

    ALL
    • Diet & Weightloss
    • Exercise and Fitness
    • Beauty and Skin
    • Hair and Nails
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Dietary Supplements
    • Over-40 Supplements
    • Sexual Health
    • Dental Health
    • Men’s Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Sleep and Dreams
    • Best Weight loss Supplements
    • Best Fat Burner Supplements
    • Best Hair Growth Supplements
    • Best Vision Supplements
    • Best Memory Supplements
    • Best Natural Testosterone Supplements
    Menu
    • Diet & Weightloss
    • Exercise and Fitness
    • Beauty and Skin
    • Hair and Nails
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Dietary Supplements
    • Over-40 Supplements
    • Sexual Health
    • Dental Health
    • Men’s Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Sleep and Dreams
    • Best Weight loss Supplements
    • Best Fat Burner Supplements
    • Best Hair Growth Supplements
    • Best Vision Supplements
    • Best Memory Supplements
    • Best Natural Testosterone Supplements
  • Relationship

    Blogs and Tips

    ALL
    • Females in Relationship
    • Men in Relationship
    • Dating Tips
    • Finding yourself
    • Marriage Tips
    • Love
    Menu
    • Females in Relationship
    • Men in Relationship
    • Dating Tips
    • Finding yourself
    • Marriage Tips
    • Love

    Dating Guides

    ALL
    • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Christian Dating Sites
    • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Apps for College Students
    • Asian Dating Guide
    • Japanese Dating Guide
    • Filipina Dating Guide
    • Indian Dating Guide
    • Black Dating Guide
    • Russian Dating Guide
    • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
    • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best German Dating Sites
    Menu
    • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Christian Dating Sites
    • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Apps for College Students
    • Asian Dating Guide
    • Japanese Dating Guide
    • Filipina Dating Guide
    • Indian Dating Guide
    • Black Dating Guide
    • Russian Dating Guide
    • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
    • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best German Dating Sites
  • Trading School

Unhappily Married – Is Divorce The Only Option?

Written and Published by Dr. Kurt Smith on July 11, 2019 - Reviewed by Dumb Little Man

 Unhappily Married – Is Divorce The Only Option?
Happiness Marriage Relationships
by Dr. Kurt Smith July 11, 2019

When you get married, it’s with the intention of staying together forever. In those first months or years, you are likely working together to build a life and, possibly a family. And for many that pathway continues on until-death-do-you-part. But unfortunately, for some, the path doesn’t take them in the direction they’d hoped for and it can seem like there’s no choice but for the relationship to end.

But how do you know if the relationship is really over or if you are just going through a rough patch? All relationships go through struggles, and many couples are able to weather the natural storms and emerge on the other side happy – sometimes even happier – than before. Knowing how many storms you should endure, however, or which one is the final straw, can be really difficult.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. It’s simply impossible for two people to live in utopia for years on end. One of the biggest problems couples face is knowing when their problems have gotten to the point that requires help.

In my experience, couples wait far too long and let things get far too bad before deciding that counseling is in order. The pent-up frustration, accumulated hurt and pain, and a tangle of problems can become overwhelming and, for some, too much to handle. Too much that they feel like the only solution is to divorce. However, divorce is not the only choice.

Below are examples of the biggest reasons couples cite when they want to divorce. And although these particular issues can be extremely difficult to overcome, they don’t have to only mean the end.

You don’t care anymore

getting a divorce

All couples argue occasionally, worry about each other, and most have a desire for maintaining a close and happy connection. When you have gotten to the point in your relationship that you simply don’t care about any of those things anymore, it’s a bad sign.

Reversing apathy requires resurrecting feelings that – if you’re at this point – have been ignored for a long time and potentially extinguished. They were there once, however. Before you give up completely, you owe it to your kids, yourself and your partner to make an effort to recall those feelings and bring them back. It can take time and work, but it is possible.

You have made the effort – over and over again

If you have been trying to fix the problems in your relationship, good for you. A few problems don’t mean the end. If you have sought outside help from a marriage counselor – even better. If you have done these things repeatedly and the same issues, problems, frustrations continue to arise, many couples assume those things will never be fixed and decide it’s time to move on.

What many couples don’t realize is that fixing an ailing marriage and the problems you’re experiencing isn’t easy, especially if they have been going on for a long time. And it doesn’t often happen in one shot. It can take a long time and repeated attempts before things are sorted out. The work is worth it though, and couples who get through difficulties are usually happier than they were before and glad they stuck with it.

The respect is gone

Respect is a cornerstone of any relationship, not just romantic ones. When you no longer respect your partner, maintaining a healthy relationship is nearly impossible. If you feel that one of you has lost respect for the other, it’s time for some changes – in both of you.

Most often what people realize is that it’s not the person that they’ve lost respect for, but an aspect of that person or their actions. This can be overcome, but it can be hard to see that in the moment.

You’re exhausted

unhappily married

A relationship shouldn’t drain you. Yes, occasionally that may be the case, but if the mere prospect of spending time together and dealing with the issues that continue to plague you is enough to send you into hiding, it’s a problem. A healthy relationship has balance.

Each partner needs to be able to find comfort, happiness, security, and gain energy from the relationship on a regular basis. If that’s no longer happening then the relationship is no longer healthy and something must change. At this point, communication has likely broken down and become ineffective so the assistance of a counselor may be needed.

Any form of abuse

Abuse comes in many forms – emotional, verbal, financial, mental and, of course, physical. Abuse in any form is unacceptable and needs to be stopped. If there is an immediate and productive way to change the behaviors of the abuser for good and maintain the marriage, that’s great – and surprising. There’s not a lot of wiggle room on this one, an abusive relationship requires immediate change.

See Also: How to Overcome Emotional Abuse

It’s never an easy decision to get a divorce, and it shouldn’t be a decision made in haste or without exploring all alternatives first. Unfortunately, for some, it may be the only healthy option, but I find that rarely to be the case. In most situations, hard work and effort pay off and couples can find their way back to enjoying each other. It’s important to remember that it doesn’t happen overnight though. It takes time.

If you find yourself thinking it may be time to end your marriage, think long and hard and make sure that the signs you are seeing are truly the final ones. And that you have honestly tried your hardest and done everything possible to make the marriage work before you end it.

Like this Article? Subscribe to Our Feed!

Author: Dr. Kurt Smith

Dr. Kurt Smith is the Clinical Director of Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, a Northern California counseling practice that specializes in helping men and the women who love them. His expertise is in understanding men, their partners, and the unique relationship challenges couples face today. Dr. Kurt is a lover of dogs, sarcasm, everything outdoors, and helping those seeking to make their relationships better.

  • Web
  • |
  • Twitter
  • |
  • Facebook
  • |
  • YouTube
  • |
  • More Posts(89)

Share This:

  • 0
    Facebook
  • 0
    Twitter
  • 0
    Linkedin
  • 0
    Email
Previous post
Next post

Search Who You're Dating Online

Search everything about the person you are dating.

Search Now

Recommended Hookup Site

Find hookups near you. State-of-the art scam protection measures.

Find Now

Females in Relationship

  • Big Signs Your Wife Is Cheating with Coworker
  • 23 Must-Know Ways On How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy
  • 32 Tips On How To Be A Good Girlfriend

More on Dating Tips

  • What Is A Life Partner and How It Differs From A Soulmate
  • 30 Telltale Signs of Attraction: Explore and Verify
  • 12 Decisive Must-know Things On How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love

Men in Relationship

  • 20 Signs A Man Is In Love With His Mistress
  • Best 29 Things What Men Want In A Relationship
  • 66 Interesting Guy Body Language When They Like You

More on Marriage Tips

  • 13 Steps When This Is You: “I Don’t Love My Wife But I Don’t Want To Hurt Her”
  • 23 Tips On How To Make Your Husband Fall In Love With You Again

Ethnic Dating Guide

  • Asian Dating
  • Japanese Dating
  • Filipina Dating
  • Indian Dating
  • Black Dating
  • Russian Dating
  • Ukraine Dating
  • Dominican Dating
  • Interracial Dating
  • African Dating
  • Caribbean Dating

Other Dating Guide

  • Lesbian Cougar Dating
  • Zodiac Dating
  • Dating a Psychologist
  • Dating a Cop
  • Dating a Fireman
  • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
  • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best Dating Apps for College Students 
  • Best Tall People Dating Sites and Apps 
  • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
  • Best German Dating Sites
  • Best Christian Dating Sites
  • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps 

INDIVIDUAL REVIEWS

★★★★☆
eharmony
Best Overall Dating Site!
★★★★☆
BeenVerified.com
Best for public records search!
★★★★☆
AdultFriendFinder
Best hookup site with advance security!
Get daily tips and tricks from Dumblittleman!
Your subscription could not be saved. Please try again.