Finding out that your partner has betrayed your trust is completely devastating. You begin to question the entire relationship, struggle with feelings that you’re not good enough and, above all, wonder whether or not the damage can be repaired.
One thing that can offer you at least a sliver of comfort?
If you’ve been cheated on, you’re not alone.
In fact, in 1/3 of marriages, one or both couples have committed some form of cheating during their relationship.
While there are countless articles encouraging you to dump your cheating partner, there are also resources to help you out in case you decide to give your relationship a second try.
After all, if Beyonce and Jay-Z were able to do it, then why can’t the two of you?
If you’ve decided to stay with your partner after being cheated on, then you need to know what it really takes to heal.
Read on to find out how to rebuild a relationship after cheating.
Take Some Time Apart
Finding out that you’ve been cheated on can lead to some serious fights between you and your partner.
These fights quickly stop becoming productive. Once that happens, they will start to take cruel turns that can make it a lot harder for you to move on. If you’re still living together or spending time together in the same environment, consider moving out. It will be impossible to resist the temptation to cut your partner down or to beg for forgiveness.
Whether you’ve been cheated on or if you’re the one doing the cheating, you owe it to both yourself and your partner to spend a few days away from each other.
First, you’ll be able to clear your mind. Secondly, you’ll be able to seek the support and advice of your friends. It will also help you remove yourself from a toxic environment.
So, book that dream Airbnb or just spend a few nights crashing on your friend’s couch.
Improving communication with your partner after being cheated on is one of the most important things you can do in order to heal.
To ensure that both sides are heard and that the difficult questions are addressed honestly, it’s a good idea to have a therapist to play as a mediator and to offer objective advice.
To find local counseling therapists in your area, you can search online or ask your friends if they know someone who can help.
Remember, cheating is often caused by underlying issues in your relationship. It can even be a consequence of the emotional imbalance of your partner. It’s important to tackle these problems head-on if you want to rebuild trust.
Resist The Urge To Snoop
20% of men go through texts and pictures while in a relationship.
If you’ve been cheated on, the desire to spy on your partner can be incredibly strong. While it might feel satisfying or offer a sense of relief if you don’t find anything, it’s important to think bigger.
Remember that spying on your partner indicates a serious lack of trust. If you truly want to move on after infidelity, then you need to learn how to trust your partner again.
This starts by resisting the urge to check their messages on social media.
Remember, It’s A Process
When things are good with your partner, it can be tempting to throw the past out of the window and return to your previous routines. It can also be challenging to stick around if the changes you want to see aren’t happening fast enough.
Give your partner a chance to improve and give yourself the time to heal. Remember that recovery after infidelity is a process. If you treat it like a race, you’ll both end up losing.
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Author: Katherine Stone
Katherine's work has appeared in the Los Angeles Review of Booths, Fiction Magazine, Booth Magazine, and several other print and online publications. She currently lives in New York City.