How Resistance Kills our Flow


August 29, 2011   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

When we don’t like the circumstances of our lives our natural tendency is to resist or fight them. The irony of this is that when we fight against the things that we don’t want or don’t like in our lives we tend to perpetuate their existence. It doesn’t really make logical sense, but then again nothing about this journey through life seems to until we’re past our current obstacle. It’s only when we look back we can see that many of our biggest problems are the biggest blessings in disguise.

Resistance is a form of friction and it slows your progress.


When you’re busy fighting the way things are and resisting the circumstances of your life you get caught inside your problems. Instead of moving forward you stay stuck and you kill your flow.

It’s something that I’ve been experiencing first hand lately. I’ve been trapped in a comparative and competitive disadvantage by looking at the stories of other people’s success and wondering why mine isn’t one of them yet. If you look at this closely, you can see this line of thinking makes no logical sense either. Beating yourself up for the way things are or for not being the way you want them to be is just another form of resistance.

True progress can’t possibly made when you’re operating from a place of resistance. It’s like attempting to drive a car with the breaks on. You’re going to burn gas, screw up the engine, and stay stuck.


Take Your Foot off the Brake

Our desire to be in complete control of everything is another interesting one. It’s the catch-22 on the never ending journey of personal development. You start the journey in order to take control of your life only to realize that the key to taking control is letting go of your desire to control everything. Once you take your foot off the brake however, the car seems to move effortlessly.

When we do the same thing in life we tend to get our groove back, so to speak. But, it’s easier said than done. While we know logically that there’s no sense worrying about the things we can’t change, we do it anyways. It’s like an annoying add-on feature of the human brain that was intended to serve some useful purpose, but is actually a nuisance more often than not.

So, how do we take our foot off the break? It’s simple but not easy. You’ve probably heard the saying before that “this too shall pass.”

Time Heals Wounds

A year from now what matters today probably won’t. Five years from now what matters a year from now won’t. Ten years from now what matters five years from now probably won’t. Part of why we have such a hard time resisting the temptation to dwell on our problems is that we project the problems today into tomorrow and beyond. We think about their impact as if it’s something that will grow with time. This might be true when it comes to goal setting and momentum, but when it comes to problems, time causes them to lose their power over us. As much as the failures that have led me to where I’m at today impacted me, I can’t imagine my life without them. They’ve inspired the future that came after them.

When you stop resisting the circumstances of your life, a blank canvas of possibility will open you. The more you’re willing to veer off the beaten path, take the scenic route through life, and chase dreams, you get an opportunity to find out what you’re really made of and tap into your limitless potential.

Take your shot and see what happens!

Written on 8/29/2011 by Srinivas Rao. Srinivas is the author of the Skool of Life, where he writes about surfing, personal development, and things you never learned in school but should have. If you’re ready to to become a student, check out his FREE course on the 7 most valuable lessons they never taught in school. You can follow him on twitter @skooloflife. Photo Credit:



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