Christian Dating Guide: Things to Know and Tips in 2022
Before diving on the internet in search of the best dating sites, understanding the importance of the rules and factors of a Christian dating site is necessary in order to find the perfect match. These faith-based rules will help you keep an eye open for red flags and determine for yourself which is a great dating site for you, to find your one true love.
Since dating doesn’t fall in either right or wrong, going for faith-focused dating will help those of Christian faith, get closer to the Lord and earn His love. For a goal so pure, finding the right dating service is crucial. Understanding the rules will help you find potential matches that will help you achieve your relationship goals.
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What is Christian Dating
Christian dating is different from traditional online dating sites. The ultimate goal of Christian dating sites is to glorify the Lord, as we would in any other part of our life. In addition to finding someone of the same faith and establishing serious relationships, a good Christian dating site can help you find the right potential partner.
Online dating sites can be fun and exciting but also a bit expensive and stressful. A free Christian dating site can make the stress worth it because you won’t have to browse Christian singles for endless hours, trying to find Christian men or Christian women because finding the best dating site is hard already, and finding the best Christian dating site even harder.
12 Christian Dating Tips and Rules
A Christian dating site can only take you so far as connecting you with other Christian men and women. However, if you want to establish meaningful relationships with other members, it is important that you, yourself are ready at first. The only way to find that out is by asking yourself if you can follow the rules in order to not only find your perfect partner but also be one.
Forming meaningful relationships through a dating platform is only possible by learning to be on the same level and allowing other Christians, who you will interact with, to move at their own pace and understand each other. Follow these rules that led to many success stories, and you will find dating much more grooming than draining.
1. Avoid “The One”
Now, this may conflict with your interests a bit. Maybe you already have a dream of finding “The One”, maybe you’re right and there are a million other Christians out there, and “The One” for you is probably on an online dating site but life is too short. Chasing after your definition of an “ideal” partner just means you want someone to fit the perfect picture in your head but that’s not what we humans are.
We are imperfect, only God is perfect. The whole point of Christian dating sites is to bring you closer to the Lord, so if you are unable to appreciate everything He has created, that strays from the whole purpose. So, instead of finding someone compatible, find someone you like and accept them for whoever they may be. What you give is what you get, your affection is what will be returned to you tenfold, once you sincerely invest it.
2. Put The Lord In The Center
Whether you are at a Christian cafe or on a Christian app, ensuring that you put the Lord in the center is crucial. No matter how many Christian dating sites you surf, or how many Christian singles you meet, if they are unable to love the Lord, chances are their faith is weak and someone with faith weak is incapable of loving. If you are here and reading this, your love for the Lord is unquestionable because you are seeking answers in His light, and so you deserve a partner of equal values.
You resort to only Christians dating to find a partner in the light of the Lord. Therefore, when you’re on Christian dating sites and interacting with other Christian singles, keep an eye open that your potential partner loves the Lord as much as you do, so they are capable of rightfully loving you as well.
3. Know Your Christian Values
To know your values is an important aspect of Christian dating. While some people keep a list of their values and some are more of an “on spot” type of person. It is important that you do not compromise your list or at least the values you have thought out in your head. Compromising out of love that you are confident of is okay, but never compromise out of impatience or frustration as it will come around and you may end up hurting your relationship.
Compromise always comes up when you are dating a non-Christian. However, Christian dating allows you the freedom to find new matches without having to resort to an extensive personality test, as most of your values are likely to align.
4. Know Your Direction
More marriages are successful when there is little to no baggage from the past. Christians are aware that one should date with the strong intent to marry. This rule simply states that if you are going for Christian dating, you’re not only looking for a temporary arrangement but a life partner.
However, this does not imply that you are bound to only one person. The whole point of Christian dating sites is to interact with other single Christian, view their dating profile, and all in good conscious and with the approval of the Lord. Once you feel comfortable and that the person makes you feel as if you’re in a relaxed environment, you can take your relationship further.
5. Joining Christian Groups
Relationships end up failing for Christians who refuse to take advice from the people around them. This shows reluctance towards change and exhibits traits of a good partner. If your partner already has a group with other Christians, it is in your best interest to join them. It will allow you to see, how your partner behaves in front of others and what others think about them.
Getting deceived in a relationship can scar you for life, so keep your ears open to advice from the group. Learn from those who are experienced and try to be a better version of yourself every day. Most importantly, make sure that whenever you are having a discussion, it is in a calm and relaxed environment. This will help the others notice issues in the relationship that you cannot see for any possible reason.
6. Be With Christians
“Be with Christians” – this may sound saddening to you or the general population. However, the truth is that having the Lord at the center of your relationship helps you handle problems no one else can. If your values are different and your partner does not accept or understand your values, then that is one of the deal-breakers to watch out for. Christian dating sites create the platform for ones of faith, to find ones of the same value, so you do not struggle to go through android apps, and browse catalogs of unlimited matches, just to realize how much time you wasted.
There have been so many cases where Christians get involved with non-Christians and end up drifting away from the Lord. Therefore, if you are a single Christian, it is in your best interest to date other Christians to keep your love for the Lord.
7. Don’t Rush Things Up
No good comes from haste and that is a well-known fact. An important part of Christian dating is to not rush things, and make all “conditional” reasons obsolete. The only reason you’re diving in on Christian dating sites instead of any other is that you want to please the Lord and you love Him. You want Him to be your guide.
If the person you are dating is rushing things, analyze the situation. Maybe they only feel lust towards you? or maybe they are just impulsive. This practice will allow you to become better at observing and making better decisions. The same goes for you, do not rush things. Take your time to get to know the other person and give them enough time to get to know you as well.
8. Growing Your Faith Together
This rule is interconnected with joining groups in a way. Let’s say you met someone on any one of the Christian dating sites, will ask them how many times they read the bible or go to the church to hear the mass, actually tell you how strong their faith is? Some Christians visit the Church and even carry around the bible but tend to have a weak faith or are lawless. In such a case, getting to know the people around them is also better.
That is to say, going to the church together or sitting in a group together will give you an idea of their reputation among other people who have been around them and witnessed their way of life. Such a pure practice will keep your soul enlightened while you search for your partner and who knows maybe along the way, you can strengthen someone else’s faith as well?
9. Social Media Sites
Social media’s core purpose is or was at least, to become more aware of the rest of the world. It is not a place to find love or relationships. Moreover, it is famous now, that social media is a digital spot for flirting. Just because someone is posting spiritual quotes or mentioning the Lord in their post, means that they are of true faith. Some people do it just for likes, shares, and whatnot.
Stick to Christian dating and if you and your partner are already ahead in your relationship, you can flirt a little bit too. Just make sure not to entice temptations or overdo it, and especially not in public.
10. Don’t Rush Into Marriage
Remember we talked about avoiding “the one”, and not rushing things? This is about the same, avoid speeding things up or being too hasty. Christian dating emphasizes the fact that if it is in the will of God, you and the person you are dating will get married in a matter of months or maybe years. Therefore, take your time and attend regular dating events even, meet different Christian members, sit in at a Christian cafe, have some coffee, start off with friendship and see how well you get along and take things from there.
There is no such thing as “restrains” in Christian dating, if you pay close attention you can see the rules only favor you and emphasize that you take the direction that brings you happiness and closer to your Lord. That is why you can attend regular dating events, make friends, and take a fun personality test or two, see if they are compatible with you and accept you for who you are and you will be happy with them in the longer run.
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11. Double Dates
Christians who love to go on double dates while taking the pure Christian dating approach, may not be aware but they are the wonderful people who love inspirational values and life and find sharing beautiful. Your partner is someone you will spend your entire life with and they will represent you to other people and Christians in the community. Moreover, you and your partner can talk about your relationship and hear others’ experiences, all this will help you grow.
However, an important rule of Christian dating is that, if your partner is reluctant towards hearing from others or representing you in a positive and polite way, or simply finds it “frustrating” then the odds are high that this relationship is not a healthy one and you should find someone who has a heart that cares about you as well as others and not only themselves.
12. Knowing Your Limits
Dating sites will get you so far as breaking ice with someone. However, another important aspect of Christian dating is to understand your limits. You must know where your limits are and also be aware of your partner’s. This does not imply, that you two create a list and exchange it with each other. You need to talk about everything and have a mutual understanding of each other’s limitations before things get too serious and someone ends up hurt if the other is not ready. Communication is key!
By putting together all the rules above, you are ready to set off on a good Christian dating site, meet Christian singles and find your life partner. Keep the rules in mind, be polite to other Christian members, hear what they have to say, do not rush, and keep the Lord in the center.
8 Online Christian Dating Tips
1. List Your Values
Online dating is not as confusing as you might think, but if you are only getting started, you might hit a roadblock or two. However, once your mind is made up and you have taken a leap of faith into Christian dating, keep in mind whoever you have met is admiring you for who you are at that moment. Cherish your values, if you cannot love yourself you cannot love anyone else. Compromising is an act of sacrifice in love and it is beautiful, but do not trade parts of yourself or you might become someone completely different.
You will come across many Christian singles in online dating and you might even find one person who sweeps you off your feet and you’re willing to trade the world for them. Your values compose your entirety, if the person is taking some of it away just know that in the longer run, they will lose interest because you will no longer be the same person they fell in love with.
2. Growth In Faith
You’re a devoted Christian who seeks the Lord’s love and that’s why you chose to go for Christian dating instead of a regular dating site. You will be looking for someone with moral excellence. However, your best interest lies in someone you can have growth in faith with. Not only will the person hold your values in high regard, but they will also help you get closer to the Lord and make you a better person than you already are.
As mentioned earlier, someone going to the church to hear the mass or saying that they read the bible even daily is not a good way of understanding them. For all you know, they could be doing all this but have a bad character and treat others poorly. That is to say, they lack the faith they need and will not be the right person for you to grow in faith with.
3. Don’t Speed Things Up
Dating in real-time can be hectic and confuse you. A dating site gives you the edge to first break the ice in the comfort of your home, once again Christian dating saves you a lot of trouble and bad decisions. No matter how much you fall in love with the person at first glance, or find their smile beautiful. You need to understand that you are looking for a life partner, and every little detail of their character will also determine your future and happiness.
Take your time, there is no rush. Everything happens by the will of God, you only need to use the time God has blessed you with and in his light, find a partner who respects your values, accepts you for who you are and you feel the same way about them with no strings attached. All good things take time, so be their friend first, see how well you get along and once you’re confident, take a step further.
4. Using Social Media Wisely
Social media is vast, and there is everyone from every age group, even fake accounts that can mislead you. You’re already doing the right thing by going for Christian dating, do not be deceived by people posting bible verses on social media and claiming to be good Christians. Understand that even the best Christian dating sites and best Christian dating apps can mislead you. Know the person behind the screen to who you are talking.
Use the messaging features wisely and learn about the Christians you are chatting with, go for a video call session and see their body language and how they react to things. Invite them for a sit-in session at a Christian cafe and have a conversation, ask about their values and why they post what they do. There are a million Christian singles out there on many popular Christian dating sites as well, take your time and invest thoughts before you invest your heart.
5. Don’t Think of Marriage Right Away
You are a God-loving Christian who values marriage above all the lawless deeds and has just taken a pure step towards online dating. However, the most important reason behind online dating is to have enough time to contemplate things and take little steps, be aware of your limitations and comfortably lay them out for the Christians you are dating.
Just because you found someone from the best Christian dating sites does not mean they are the best Christian partner for you. Maybe your values differ, maybe there are habits of yours that they find unpleasant but are yet to explore, and vice versa. Rushing things will lead you into an unhappy and unhealthy marriage full of complaints and dismay. Give online dating the time it needs, and at your own pace interact with people from different Christian dating apps and surely you will find good results when the time is right for you.
6. Go On Group Dates
Online dating is your first step, you have met the person and are having a good time. When you feel like you want to take your relationship a bit further, go on group dates. The first reason is that Christians really enjoy group dates, sharing values and experiences to help and also learn at the same time. Your fellow Christians will help you see the issues or potential issues in your relationship that you cannot see at the moment.
Maybe there is something that can hurt you in the long run and they can point it out for you, at the same time you will see how your partner responds to it, are they reluctant or do they care enough about you to pay attention and talk about it?
The best place to go on about this would be a Christian cafe.
7. Appropriate Physical Expressions
Physical expressions hold high value. After some time you and your partner would be going on dates alone and it may initiate certain physical expressions. At this point, remember the reason why you selected Christian dating apps in the first place. Keep the Lord in the center and let him guide your relationship to the right path.
Abstain from intimacy until both of you are committed to each other, this does not mean once you’re engaged you can start to get intimate. Intimacy is an act of love and is sacred, it is not a means of satisfying your personal needs for momentary pleasure. Be sure to discuss with your partner where you are at that point in your relationship, are you ready for marriage?
8. Know Your Limits
Just as physical expressions, it is in your best interest and for the safety of your faith to establish your limits beforehand. As a Christian, you are already dating with the intention to marry, therefore, things will get serious. However, once you are out of the dating apps phase, understanding each others’ limits will help you towards a healthy relationship. You don’t have to write each other a list out of the blue or just slam it on the table, just like your values, you share with time and by talking about everything, share your limitations and develop a mutual understanding.
With all these rules and tips for dating, you should be good to go and embark on your journey to find your life partner. Being a Christian means being a good human at first too, so whatever you may do, whatever Christian dating apps you may use, be sure to respect the person you are talking with. Keep your ears and heart open to hear about their values, do not judge them, appreciate them, so that they may appreciate you. Make the Lord your guide, and have faith. Even if still you face difficulty or are unable to get along, you are free to talk to other people without hurting anyone.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.