Have you ever wondered how you could make your conversations with people more interesting?
What’s for sure is one half of the conversation will be dominated by the person you’re talking to, when you’re asking questions and getting to know them.
But how do you actually get them to WANT to learn more about you, and ask you questions in an interested way, as opposed to just being polite?
Here are some communication angles you could use:
1) Skip your introduction
Very simple in the way it works.
Let say you’re at a party right, the ambiance is social, and you happen to get into a conversation with someone:
“Hey, I’m Jason, Sophia’s friend!”
– ” Hey Jason, I’m Frank so how did you guys meet?”
Essentially you’re holding some critical piece information back, usually some information that they, for their part, have given you. Like say their name, function, reason for being here or whatever it might be depending on the context.
What you are doing is withholding the same information, and usually they will be very curious to find out the longer you leave it unsaid. It’s like someone telling you their secret, and you not reciprocating with YOUR secret… 🙂
2) Share personal stories with flair
It’s not wise to talk about yourself too much during a conversation, but it is your time to speak and talk about what you like to do, it’s always good to do it an engaging way.
You want the person in front of you to feel what you feel so there can be a connection, and when there is a connection, there is potential for a relationship (of any kind).
So don’t be afraid to talk passionately or even reveal a bit of your humor!
I once met a girl who happened to be in a managing position at a large retail store. I asked her about her day-to-day in that position, and she got so wound up talking about it that at one point she was stood up (from the table we were sitting at) actually ROLEPLAYING some of the conversation she was having with her co-workers!
It was a real treat, you could see she was passionate about her job and her little act just made me even more CURIOUS about her job, and who she was really.
I mean what kind of person does such a thing??
THAT’S what I wanted to know. 🙂
And she did it so well it opened up all kinds of questions, had she taken acting classes, did she like comedy movies, had she seen this or that other movie…etc.
Sharing personal stories with flair communicates so much more than just what you are saying. It’s a sign of a fun, confident and truly charming person. 🙂
3) Drop hooks
What I call “hooks” are basically little bits of information or stories that IMPLY other things.
As complex human beings, we are all “rabbit holes”. You could go to endless depths exploring somebody’s life.
A “hook” is like a glimpse of how deep the rabbit hole goes for you.
“In the military they taught us..”
That’s a hook right there, you never mentioned you had been in the military. The focus of your phrase is not even that you were in the military, it’s what the military taught you, but see the fact that you mentioned the military now adds another level of depth to your person.
“Oh ok you learned this and that, so you joined the military huh?”
And now you can talk about what lead you to that decision, maybe other experiences relating to that if they seem interested…etc.
You’re not forcing it on them at all, if they bite, good, if they don’t, you can simply move on.
But even if they don’t pick up on it, you can be sure it will make them curious.
This girl I mentioned also casually happened to reference her pole dancing hobby at one point in the conversation.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with pole dancing really, most people only know about what goes down in strip clubs but the truth is it’s much richer than that. There’s an art to pole dancing and it’s also very classy in the sporting scene.
I didn’t take her up on it at that moment but as you can see, I did remember and it made me very curious about a bunch of different things. (How, why, where, when…etc., just an infinite number of questions)
So here you have it. 3 ways you can put curiosity into people’s minds. You might have noticed all these paths require 1 major ingredient:
To have an interesting life.
I still think doing cool things with your life is the best way to make friends. The rest, is just a matter of communication. 🙂
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Author: Alex Mombo
Alex Mombo is an author & blogger. He loves engineering, playing music, reading personal development litterature and writes about communication skills at www.newconfidentlife.com