• Business

    Business Ideas

    ALL
    • In-Demand Businesses
    • Businesses That Never Fail
    • Best Passive Income Ideas for Increasing Cash Flow
    • Essential Tips To Start An Online Business
    • Best Websites To Buy Or Sell An Online Business For Free
    • Everything You Need to Know About Online Selling 
    • Current Business Trends: 9 Things to Keep in Mind
    • How to Open a Coffee Shop Business: A Comprehensive Guide
    • Effective Ways to Start your Business from Scratch 
    • The Main Types And Advantages Of Online Business
    Menu
    • In-Demand Businesses
    • Businesses That Never Fail
    • Best Passive Income Ideas for Increasing Cash Flow
    • Essential Tips To Start An Online Business
    • Best Websites To Buy Or Sell An Online Business For Free
    • Everything You Need to Know About Online Selling 
    • Current Business Trends: 9 Things to Keep in Mind
    • How to Open a Coffee Shop Business: A Comprehensive Guide
    • Effective Ways to Start your Business from Scratch 
    • The Main Types And Advantages Of Online Business

    Tips For A Successful Business

    ALL
    • Creative Business Proposal Ideas for Better Sales
    • Easy Digital Marketing Strategies for Small Business
    • Easy Steps to Develop Effective Time Management Skills
    • ClickUp, Trello or Hive?
    • Best SEO Tips for Small Businesses
    • Lessons Every Business Can Learn From Coworking Spaces
    • The Best Digital Marketing Strategies for a Real Estate Business
    • Useful Tips to Make Your E-Commerce Business Successful.
    • Why Do You Need to Track Your Spending
    Menu
    • Creative Business Proposal Ideas for Better Sales
    • Easy Digital Marketing Strategies for Small Business
    • Easy Steps to Develop Effective Time Management Skills
    • ClickUp, Trello or Hive?
    • Best SEO Tips for Small Businesses
    • Lessons Every Business Can Learn From Coworking Spaces
    • The Best Digital Marketing Strategies for a Real Estate Business
    • Useful Tips to Make Your E-Commerce Business Successful.
    • Why Do You Need to Track Your Spending
  • Money

    Invest Money

    ALL
    • Best Safe Investments
    • Investing In Real Estate
    • How To Invest: Are Your Investment Right Your Age
    • Best Alternative Investments
    • Best Investments To Beat Inflation
    • How To Invest In Collectibles
    Menu
    • Best Safe Investments
    • Investing In Real Estate
    • How To Invest: Are Your Investment Right Your Age
    • Best Alternative Investments
    • Best Investments To Beat Inflation
    • How To Invest In Collectibles

    Banking

    ALL
    • Best Savings Account
    • Best High Yield Savings Account
    • Best CD Rates
    • Best Money Market Accounts
    • Best Online Checking Account
    • Best Banking Apps
    Menu
    • Best Savings Account
    • Best High Yield Savings Account
    • Best CD Rates
    • Best Money Market Accounts
    • Best Online Checking Account
    • Best Banking Apps

    Loan

    ALL
    • Best Personal Loan
    • Best Low-Interest Personal Loans
    • Best Personal Loans for Bad Credit
    • Best Personal Loans for Excellent Credit
    • Best Debt Consolidation Loans
    • Best Student Loans
    Menu
    • Best Personal Loan
    • Best Low-Interest Personal Loans
    • Best Personal Loans for Bad Credit
    • Best Personal Loans for Excellent Credit
    • Best Debt Consolidation Loans
    • Best Student Loans

    Insurance

    ALL
    • Sproutt Life Insurance Reviews
    • eHealth Insurance Reviews
    • Cheap Car Insurance Reviews
    • Embrace Pet Insurance Reviews
    • Best Rideshare Insurance Reviews
    Menu
    • Sproutt Life Insurance Reviews
    • eHealth Insurance Reviews
    • Cheap Car Insurance Reviews
    • Embrace Pet Insurance Reviews
    • Best Rideshare Insurance Reviews
  • Forex

    Featured

    ALL
    • Best Forex Trading Courses
    • Best Forex Academy
    • Best Forex Trading Coaches
    • Best Forex Mentors
    Menu
    • Best Forex Trading Courses
    • Best Forex Academy
    • Best Forex Trading Coaches
    • Best Forex Mentors

    Learn To Trade Forex With Dumb Little Man

    ALL
    • Best Forex Brokers Review
    • Best Forex Trading Software
    • How To Trade Forex
    • How to Read Forex Charts
    • Best Forex Indicators
    • Best Forex Screeners
    • Best Time To Trade Forex
    • Best Forex Trading Tools
    • AvaTrade Review
    • CedarFX Review
    • Forex.com Review
    • Interactive Brokers Review
    Menu
    • Best Forex Brokers Review
    • Best Forex Trading Software
    • How To Trade Forex
    • How to Read Forex Charts
    • Best Forex Indicators
    • Best Forex Screeners
    • Best Time To Trade Forex
    • Best Forex Trading Tools
    • AvaTrade Review
    • CedarFX Review
    • Forex.com Review
    • Interactive Brokers Review
  • Stocks & Crypto

    Stocks

    ALL
    • Best Stock Brokers
    • Best Online Brokers for Stocks Under $100
    • Best Online Brokers for ETF Investing
    • Best Brokers for Mutual Funds
    • Best Online Brokers for Bonds
    • Best Blue Chip Stocks
    • Best Swing Trade Stocks
    • Stages of a Stock Market Bubble
    • Best Stock Investing and Trading Podcasts
    • Best Defensive Stocks to Invest
    Menu
    • Best Stock Brokers
    • Best Online Brokers for Stocks Under $100
    • Best Online Brokers for ETF Investing
    • Best Brokers for Mutual Funds
    • Best Online Brokers for Bonds
    • Best Blue Chip Stocks
    • Best Swing Trade Stocks
    • Stages of a Stock Market Bubble
    • Best Stock Investing and Trading Podcasts
    • Best Defensive Stocks to Invest

    Cryptocurrency

    ALL
    • Best Cryptocurrency Trading Courses
    • Best Cryptocurrency Brokers
    • Best Cryptocurrency Exchanges
    • Best Cryptocurrency Apps
    • Learn about Cryptocurrency
    • How To Earn Cryptocurrency
    • How to Trade Cryptocurrency
    • Best Cryptocurrencies
    • Best Crypto Trading Bots
    • Best Crypto Portfolio Trackers
    Menu
    • Best Cryptocurrency Trading Courses
    • Best Cryptocurrency Brokers
    • Best Cryptocurrency Exchanges
    • Best Cryptocurrency Apps
    • Learn about Cryptocurrency
    • How To Earn Cryptocurrency
    • How to Trade Cryptocurrency
    • Best Cryptocurrencies
    • Best Crypto Trading Bots
    • Best Crypto Portfolio Trackers
  • Health

    Health Conditions

    ALL
    • Macular Degeneration
    • Testosterone
    • Constipation
    • Hormonal Imbalance
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Sleeping Problems
    • Baldness
    • Lower Back Pain
    • Toenail Fungus
    • Mouth Sores
    • Eye Dark Circles
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Headaches
    • Face Acne
    Menu
    • Macular Degeneration
    • Testosterone
    • Constipation
    • Hormonal Imbalance
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Sleeping Problems
    • Baldness
    • Lower Back Pain
    • Toenail Fungus
    • Mouth Sores
    • Eye Dark Circles
    • Stomach Bloating
    • Headaches
    • Face Acne

    Product Reviews

    ALL
    • Diet & Weightloss
    • Exercise and Fitness
    • Beauty and Skin
    • Hair and Nails
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Dietary Supplements
    • Over-40 Supplements
    • Sexual Health
    • Dental Health
    • Men’s Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Sleep and Dreams
    • Best Weight loss Supplements
    • Best Fat Burner Supplements
    • Best Hair Growth Supplements
    • Best Vision Supplements
    • Best Memory Supplements
    • Best Natural Testosterone Supplements
    Menu
    • Diet & Weightloss
    • Exercise and Fitness
    • Beauty and Skin
    • Hair and Nails
    • Strength Training
    • Yoga
    • Dietary Supplements
    • Over-40 Supplements
    • Sexual Health
    • Dental Health
    • Men’s Health
    • Women’s Health
    • Sleep and Dreams
    • Best Weight loss Supplements
    • Best Fat Burner Supplements
    • Best Hair Growth Supplements
    • Best Vision Supplements
    • Best Memory Supplements
    • Best Natural Testosterone Supplements
  • Relationship

    Blogs and Tips

    ALL
    • Females in Relationship
    • Men in Relationship
    • Dating Tips
    • Finding yourself
    • Marriage Tips
    • Love
    Menu
    • Females in Relationship
    • Men in Relationship
    • Dating Tips
    • Finding yourself
    • Marriage Tips
    • Love

    Dating Guides

    ALL
    • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Christian Dating Sites
    • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Apps for College Students
    • Asian Dating Guide
    • Japanese Dating Guide
    • Filipina Dating Guide
    • Indian Dating Guide
    • Black Dating Guide
    • Russian Dating Guide
    • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
    • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best German Dating Sites
    Menu
    • Best Catholic Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Christian Dating Sites
    • Best Pagan Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Teen Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Apps for College Students
    • Asian Dating Guide
    • Japanese Dating Guide
    • Filipina Dating Guide
    • Indian Dating Guide
    • Black Dating Guide
    • Russian Dating Guide
    • Best Free Trucker Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best Dating Sites and Apps for Marriage
    • Best Free Crossdresser Dating Sites and Apps
    • Best German Dating Sites
  • Trading School

Learn To Be Your Own Therapist

Written and Published by Shobhali Thapa on December 10, 2021 - Reviewed by Dumb Little Man

 Learn To Be Your Own Therapist
Featured Self Love Therapy
by Shobhali Thapa December 10, 2021

Let’s get one thing straight, at the end of the day, it isn’t your mentor/ coach/ therapist/ counselor who does the transformation work for you. It is You who does it. Yes, of course, others can support, guide, teach, hold space, but you are the one who has to do the work. It’s like a gym – the gym instructor can point you to the right machines, but can’t get on to them to build your muscles for you!

Now, don’t get me wrong with the title – I’m not saying Therapists are useless. But I AM saying that you don’t need a therapist, especially long-term. Let’s break this down.

Question: Who needs healing?
Answer: Everyone.

Question: How can everyone need healing?
Answer: Because we live in a fractured world, that’s constantly traumatized.

Question: What do you mean?
Answer: I mean, look around you! Never before has it been so easy to connect with humans across the world. While that has its pros, there are also cons. The way that life is, there are always ups & downs. And this across-the-world connection ensures we absorb all the many downs too. Thus, every moment, whether or not in my immediate circle, I’m suffering the collective trauma.

Question: So, where does that leave me?
Answer: That leaves you, my friend, is a very understandably difficult situation where stress & anxiety are part & parcel of life.

Question: Where do we go from here?
Answer: It’s not the stressors that are the issue. Plus, of course, it’s difficult to really control the stressors. Most of us have tried it – doesn’t really work, does it?! The work that’s needed is to build the capacity within to work with these stressors in a way that they don’t stress you out.

Question: How do I do that?
Answer: Well, one short answer that everyone seems to be jumping to these days is, “Get a therapist!”

Therapy

Here’s the deal about therapy/ counseling – most of it is pretty damn expensive! In countries like India, the ones who go really deep into body, emotions, trauma work, are quite out-of-budget for most people. In a country like the USA where there’s insurance that makes it cheaper, the wait to get a therapist is insane! And there’s no guarantee that the therapist you get after all the hassle will be the best fit for you. So what do you do in the meantime?

The PILR Process

I’ve been in the space of people development for more than a decade now. Having traversed the roles of a teacher, coach, therapy practitioner, yoga instructor, meditation guide, here’s what I’ve gathered: Each person has the capacity to heal their past wounds & traumas. All that is needed is for you to reconnect with the self-healing capacity that has always been there within each one of us.

Question: How do you reconnect?
Answer: Use PILR – Pause, Invite, Listen, Release

You can use this process to work through your anxiety, stress, and fears. You can also use it to build your emotional tolerance muscle, awareness, and clarity.

 

Pause

Pause
Photo: ceotodaymagazine

Pause whatever you’re doing. Breathe. Take a slow, gentle, deep breath in, and then slowly let it fully out through the mouth. Repeat this in & out-breath cycle, notice your body slowing down. Observe this shift from the fast pace to slowness. No matter how small the shift – notice the shift. As you notice the shift, you’ll find that the slowness expands, and you’ll find yourself beginning to calm down.

 

Invite

Once you’re relatively calm, invite in whatever unnerved you – the doubt, the fear, the anxiety, the overwhelm – whatever it was, invite it in. You’ll notice when you invite it in, it stops being scary. The way to invite it is to allow yourself to see it – what color is it, what shape, how it smells, how it feels. As you begin seeing it in its details, you’ll notice how it’s separate from you, and maybe it’s here for some reason.

 

Listen

Listen
Photo: guidedmeditationframework

Now is the time to deeply listen to what it’s here for. Be curious to know its back story. Where is it coming from? When was it born? How did it help you in the past? What is it here to tell you now? Ask it these questions from a space of genuine curiosity, really opening yourself up to listen in.

 

Release

Once you fully listen to its concerns, once you acknowledge its presence & its good intent – thank it. Let it know you’ve got its message, & you’ll keep the message in mind while making a sound stable decision from your grounded self. Once seen, acknowledged, & heard, it’s ready to leave – aid its release by doing some gentle stretches, like, opening up your chest, stretching out your arms wide above your head. Shaking helps too – shake your hands, shake your feet,

stand up & shake your whole body. And then close the loop with the in & out-breath cycle we learned in the Pause stage.

As you begin practicing PILR, you’ll start to notice shifts in your anxiety & stress levels. You’ll also begin connecting with this stable, grounded, wise part of you, that’s always been there in you.

It is never the circumstance that’s the suffering. Circumstances can cause pain, but suffering is caused by the way we interact with the painful circumstance.

The Story of The Second Arrow

It is said the Buddha once asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?”
The student replied, “It is.”

The Buddha then asked, “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?”
The student replied again, “It is.”

The Buddha then went on to explain, “In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.”

Like this Article? Subscribe to Our Feed!

Author: Shobhali Thapa

I practice as an Inner Work Guide, living at the nexus of coaching, therapy, and spirituality. I work with women who feel intensely, are passionate, & believe that there's something more to life - enabling them to heal & transform all aspects of their lives, & to create powerful healing spaces for those around them.

  • Web
  • |
  • Facebook
  • |
  • LinkedIn
  • |
  • More Posts(1)

Share This:

  • 0
    Facebook
  • 0
    Twitter
  • 0
    Linkedin
  • 0
    Email
Previous post
Next post

FOREX REVIEWS

Get daily tips and tricks for making your best home.
Follow us :
Instagram Pinterest Facebook Twitter
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Become a Contributor
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
Menu
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Become a Contributor
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Become a Contributor
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
Menu
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Become a Contributor
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Become a Contributor
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
Menu
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Become a Contributor
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
Get daily tips and tricks from Dumblittleman!
Your subscription could not be saved. Please try again.
Success! You are now a Dumb Little Man! :)
Follow us :
Instagram Pinterest Facebook Twitter
Browse
  • Business
  • Money