How many beautiful women have you let waltz out of your life before they were even in it?
She could have been your blushing bride but you didn’t even speak, probably because you ‘didn’t know what to say.’
Back in the day, I let hundreds of babes breeze by because it took too long to construct the perfect opening line.
Now, I can approach with an empty brain and instantly make conversation.
All because of this one epiphany…
You can say whatever you want.
I’ve picked up girls using preposterous pick-up lines.
‘Can you buy me a glass of water?’
‘I don’t like nightclubs, but I go to them.’
‘Do you like my shirt? It’s ironed.’
When the club is really loud, I wave my arm and shout HELLO.
Ridiculous. Stupid. Still, they all worked for the same reason. They’ve also all not worked for the exact same reason.
It’s all in the sub-communications.
Scientists claim that 93% of communication is non-verbal. This means your sub-communications are thirteen times more important than your actual chat.
Confident body language is crucial. Eye contact is essential. But here’s what’s most important. The belief that whatever comes out of your mouth is brilliant.
As narcissistic as it sounds, you need to believe your gob is an unrelenting goldmine of hilarity and fascinating tales.
Believe it hard enough and she’ll be hooked. Here’s why…
The law of state transference.
Have you ever been around a bunch of blokes having such a brilliant time that you can’t help but be in a better mood? Or spoke to someone so passionate about a subject you found yourself forming an interest too? Maybe you have a friend you always feel fantastic around. It’s as if their emotions (amusement, passion, happiness) are being transferred onto you.
Psychologists call this the law of state transference – and it actually works. Whatever you find funny, others will find funny too. Even shitty stories of how you ironed your own shirt…
The sting is you really need to believe it. You need an unshakeable belief that your stories are the balls.
Don’t think, talk.
Here’s what you should get in the habit of doing. Approach hotties without having anything in your head. Just see what comes out…
It’s easier than it sounds.
They might not react right away. Maybe they’re shy. Maybe they misheard or they’re in a bad mood, so be prepared to do most of the talking for the first minute or so. The same principles apply – anything which you find funny or interesting should eventually break down that defensiveness.
There’s only one reason you’d struggle to think of anything, and that’s your standards for what’s good enough to say. They’re set too high.
Don’t put girls on this pedestal. Imagine anything that’s amusing or interesting to you will also be to them. Most times, it’s true!
The more you notice this, the easier it becomes to believe you have that million-dollar mouthpiece.
Why does this work?
There’s something sexy about the person who can speak with no filter. They’re unstifled. They’re unpredictable. They’re assured. It’s such an attractive trait.
This technique will make flirting much more fun. You’re sharing what you find funny, rather than trying to win someone over.
The woman will enjoy it more too. It’s more entertaining than the traditional conversations most men conform to.
Make sure you do flirt though. Self-amusement will capture her attention, but you can’t be a dancing clown for the whole conversation. Eventually, you need to show your intentions.
It’s crucial to be carefree.
Before I understood this theory, there was this breathtaking woman.
I racked my brain for the best thing to say…How about the one with the ironed shirt? Yeah! That worked the weekend before!
Not this time…
The tone was off. The delivery was awkward. It was far from carefree. I was using it to impress her, rather than amuse myself.
She physically cringed – and walked away without saying anything.
Yesterday’s worldie-winning banter becomes tomorrow’s crutch when it’s coming from the wrong place. It doesn’t work if you’re desperate for it to work.
The bottom line
Currently, you’re thinking too much about what to say to girls. After all, you’ve read an entire article about it.
Think less. Laugh more. Get girls.
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Author: Joe Elvin
Joe Elvin is a freelance writer travelling the world living as a digital nomad. He blogs about how to escape your comfort zone, chase adventure and find the bravery to live your best life. Download his free e-book 'How To Conquer Social Anxiety' at https://bit.ly/2MBxm4N