The Pitfalls of Your Constant Complaining and How to Stop It


March 15, 2008   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

Stop Complaining
Written on 3/15/2008 by David B. Bohl, the author of Slow Down Fast.


When we run across something we do not like, it is perfectly normal to react negatively to it. It reaffirms to us that we know what we do not want. We recognize something that is unacceptable to us, allow the temporary negative emotion, and then leave it behind.

The complainer is full of perpetual negativity. They will tell you openly and freely how nothing good ever happens to them, their luck is always bad, they never seem to get a break, they cannot get caught up, and virtually nothing ever goes right in their lives.

Everyone knows someone like this. Hang around with them long enough and they will suck the life right out of you.

If you find yourself demonstrating these tendencies, it is time to take a good, hard look at your life and find ways to change your thinking so you view it in a positive light.

Here are a couple ways to turn your attitude around:

  1. Find Your Positive Emotions: Rather than always trying to find the negative aspects of things, look for the positive ones. Tell yourself why your life is good, what has brought you luck, acknowledge things that bring you joy or satisfaction, and try to enter into any endeavor with a positive attitude.

We all have things in our lives to be happy about, to be thankful for, and to truly enjoy. The positive person realizes this and focuses on these positive aspects of life. The complainer overlooks them and instead dwells on all of the negative things that have happened.

  • Thoughts Create Your Reality: There has been much written about the power of visualization, positive thinking, and self-fulfilling prophecies. We have the power to bring about positive outcomes by entering into our endeavors expecting success from the beginning. If we expect to win, we will have a shot. If we expect to lose, we certainly will.Our thoughts manifest themselves in our actions, and complaining is a negative thought, leading to negative actions. Many of these people who complain about having bad luck do not realize they are likely creating their circumstances with their negative attitudes.
  • Leave the Past Behind: Another common attribute of complainers is they tend to carry all the wrongdoings of their past with them. They cannot let go of the bad experiences of their lives, which closes the door for them to have positive experiences in the future. Until they can learn to bury the baggage of the past, they likely will not realize any changes in their fate in the future.Positive thinkers acknowledge when they have been wronged, but they do not dwell on it. It does not get resurrected every time a similar circumstance arises. Just because they had a poor outcome one time does not mean they expect the same negative outcome again. Positive thinkers expect to succeed, and usually will.One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in terms of self improvement is to learn to think positively. Create your own success by expecting only the best things to happen.

Complaining is not only a surefire way to achieve spectacular failure, but it becomes addictive. The more you complain, the easier it is. It becomes a viscous cycle that is very difficult to stop.

If things do not go your way, put the experience behind you and move on to the next one. Learn to think positively about your challenges, and learn to expect outcomes in your favor. It will take a while before you really feel the positive energy, but like any new skill, it takes practice.

The most important thing is to practice banishing the complaints. Learn to recognize them, and cast them from your mind before they have a chance to escape from your mouth. Practice replacing your complaints with positive thoughts. Every time you feel the deep-rooted seed of a complaint starting to surface, bury it again, immediately.

You really do have the power within yourself to bring about your own destiny, much of which is accomplished through the power of positive thinking. Develop positive intentions, and repeat them to yourself often. Before long, you will be practicing the art of positive thinking and your complaints will be a thing of the past. It is then you will begin to notice how the outcomes of your life’s challenges have taken a turn for the positive.


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