Let’s Talk About Trust And Perfectionism

By Janavi Chawla

July 26, 2018   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

on being perfect

Trust is knowing that you tend to do this, this, and this and that you’re probably always going to do that. In order to trust you, you have to be willing to perceive, know, be, and receive you. You don’t have to change you to fit somebody else’s point of view. It’s not about having blind faith in yourself that you’ll get it all right one day and that you understand every idea on being perfect.


*dramatic sigh*

Let’s talk about that.

Perfectionism is what has always kept me a step away from truly trusting myself. The idea of being perfect is almost as disappointing as the bubbles on a bubble wrap that won’t pop. You are so ready to go for it but it won’t freakin’ pop!

It won’t pop because there is nothing as perfect. We have made this hypothetical thing in our mind so that we always have something to achieve and disappoint us. Cause disappointment leads to agony and we love it!

Don’t we? I mean, I did.

Can I interest you in a new perspective that I got introduced to a few days back?

While I was on what people would call as an ultimate journey of soul searching(or what I would simply call as vegging on the bed completely engrossed in a book), I stumbled on something which totally changed my view about perfectionism.

In her book, Elizabeth Gilbert said:

“I think perfectionism is just a high-end, haute couture version of fear. I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it’s just terrified. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more than a deep existential angst that says, again and again, “I am not good enough and I will never be good enough.”

Perfectionism is just fear

What? Perfectionism is just fear? It’s just a distraction that keeps me from creating whatever I desire? Wow!

So, those who think that there is even a tiny chance that it’s perfectionism that sneaks up on you and pulls you back whenever you are ready to show, I would love for you to read further.

Going back to the month of December, I had a farewell in my school which is more popularly known as prom. Me, being the junior, had to give a farewell performance to the seniors and I was given three options.

First, I could take part in Art which meant devoting about seven hours of my time stuck inside the art room, listening to four besties talk my ears off and at the same time working my ass off creating invitations and banners for the event. As much as I love art, not my scene!

taking up art

Second, I could take part in music with my friends which would have been great and lots of fun. But, to be honest, it would have been listening to a crow in midst of all the cuckoos. As much as it would have been fun for me, it’s my seniors’ farewell. I can’t do that to them.

Third, I could have taken part in the dance. I am not talking about just simple grooving and a few steps here and there dance. I am talking about full Bollywood and Bhangra mixed with western kind of dance.

Let me tell you about my history with dancing.

I attended a 3-month dance class which was a nightmare! The 3-minute final video of the dance at the end of three months showed every emotion one can have related to struggle and fear and whatnot! And considering I am or was a perfectionist, you can imagine what a horror it was for me.

taking up dance

But I still chose to take part in dancing. I don’t think anyone in their entire life had as much fun as I did in those fifteen days! And the only thing that was kind of holding me back from having the time of my life was my need for perfectionism.

So, let’s call this need perfy.

Perfy, my frenemy, was trying everything in its power to make me believe that if I can’t do it perfectly, then there is no need to do it. There is no need for me to go on that stage and make a complete fool of myself. That I should only go on that stage when I have perfected the art of dancing.

And Perfy knows that this moment won’t come because there’s nothing as perfect but perfy was still trying to convince me.

I had enough of perfy. I decided to part ways with it! Perfy cried. Not really actually, she already went on the next hunt.

And me?

Safe to say, I finally gave that performance and enjoyed the hell out of it!

What is it that stops you from truly trusting yourself? Will you please let it go now?

If you truly trusted yourself, what would you choose and create?

Are you ready to break up with your perfy?

What magic can you be?

Breaking up with perfy gave me a sense of freedom, joy, and trust. It was a sense of trust in myself that it didn’t matter that I messed one step because of the spotlight in my eye.

Trust in me and the freedom from the all or none law. Trust that I can do anything I would like to and trust that everything is for the fun of it. Last but not the least, trust that the universe always has my back!

See Also: The Dark Side of Perfectionism

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