You, Me, and the Crackberry Makes Three


December 14, 2007   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

You’re out having dinner at a cozy little BYOB place with great food. Your companion’s face is all aglow in the candlelight. No, wait, not candlelight. Actually it’s the light beaming from her LCD screen. She’s giving you that come-hither glance. Or more like squinting, her eyes are getting bad from all the computer use. Finally she says something: “I’ll be right back, I have to make a call.” Hot!

Sound familiar? How about when your cell phone blares circus music during an intense conversation… a really good movie… while riding the Cyclone with your lover at Coney Island? Or even during sex. According to Dan Schulman, CEO of cell operator Virgin Mobile, one in five people will interrupt intimate relations to answer their cell.

One good thing about technology – it keeps us occupied and less inclined to squabble with our mates. But for many of us, that’s often at the price of real closeness. When was the last time you had a heart to heart with your partner… and by this I don’t mean firing off an I HEART U from your Sidekick while stuck in traffic.

Be on alert for the following red flags telling you to turn off the technology and tune in to your relationship before it’s too late:

    • You can’t wait to get home and share the news of your day with… your friends on the internet.


  • He’s more likely to reach you by email than he is when calling your name from the next room.



  • Every once in a while, your sex life gets a little help from Craigslist erotica submissions (only your partner doesn’t know about it).



  • You enjoy a comfortable silence together… except for the soft clicking sounds.



  • His lap is warm and inviting. The perpetually running hard drive keeps it nice and toasty (and occupied).



  • Sometimes you play Beat the Cell Phone in your head during those intimate sessions (but the cell phone usually wins).



  • You either love or despise that song “Blackberry” by the Black Crowes. Sometimes both!



  • Your partner came home to find you nuzzling and whispering sweet nothings to your PalmPilot.



  • Someone asked you to choose between your significant other and your tech gadgets, and you actually had to think about it.


All joking aside, here’s the biggest drawback of the information age. Technology keeps us connected, yet prevents us from really connecting deeply with those who matter most. We lack the focus needed to give another human our full attention, make them feel important, listened to, understood and appreciated.

Someone who you love, who has made sacrifices to be with you, deserves to have you turn your body toward them, look into their eyes, and open your mind to theirs when they offer you their thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams. Don’t they?

There’s a simple solution to managing all the electronic beeps, chimes and flashing icons along with your relationship. It’s one that most of us ignore. Know when to use the OFF button. Schedule your technology just like you do your life. Checking email or logging in to your favorite chat can be a relaxing wind-down, but will it fill you up the way a great one-on-one conversation does?

Turn it off. Tune in. Get turned on. Pretty simple, when you think about it.

Article written for Dumb Little Man by Dina Giolitto from where she helps give overburdened entrepreneurs back their time, their lives and their sanity. You can also sign up here for her free copywriting newsletter.

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