“I don’t regret what I’ve been through. I’ve had ups and downs, super highs and some really low lows. I’ve been so blessed that I could never say, ‘I wish this didn’t happen.’ It’s part of who I am.” Jennifer Lopez
We’re all familiar with the phrase “Life has its ups and downs”, and we’ve experienced both. We’ve been buoyed by trivial things, or had our feelings dashed by equally minor events.
Do we focus too much on the downs?
To many people, it seems there are more downs to life than ups. This probably isn’t true. It’s just that we give more attention, and more importance, to the downs.
We remember, respond to, are affected by even changed by our hard times. It’s easier to complain about life being tough than to rejoice in the sunshine. It’s human nature to remember the pain of broken relationships, financial loss, illness, injury, anger, jealousy . . . .
We even sometimes nurture these downs – we hold grudges, seek revenge, make others miserable.
We can’t afford to let this happen.
If we’re really smart, we can stand the downs on their heads, and see all sorts of good springing from them.
We each can take control of our life by following the wise advice set out below.
THE “DEAL-WITH-IT DOZEN”
ACCEPT THAT . . . . . . .
1. We’re stuck with ups and down – make the best of them
The ups and downs of life are inescapable parts of living, and need to be dealt with. We all experience them, and the wise, the optimistic, the clever rejoice in the ups, and take action when things go wrong. Remember, hope beats the hell out of despair. Cultivate optimism, and get into the habit of expecting the best.
2. Our downs are not our own fault
We haven’t been selected by some malign fate to bear the world’s troubles. Our downs are not the results of being bad. They’re not some kind of heavenly punishment. As the T-shirts say, shit happens. OK, so now do something about it. Be positive. Just get on with life.
3. At the bottom is a great place to start climbing up
Pull yourself up out of the dark towards the light. With this attitude, the ups will start coming. Sometimes climbing is hard. Don’t expect to be swept into some blinding light at once. Be prepared to grit your teeth and work at it.
4. Downs aren’t permanent
Give yourself the chance, and things will get better. You can feel lost under the weight of ill-fortune, but don’t let it crush you. If you are prepared to put in the effort, the ups will come.
Don’t let fear deter you – let hope lead the way. You’ve already experienced lots of ups and downs already, some quite serious ones. You’ve survived! Why expect you might not recover? Again, get on with life.
5. Getting back on track lies in your own hands
Your reading this is proof you have access to the world-wide web. This is the greatest source of knowledge, wisdom, hope, advice the world has ever seen. Use it wisely. There are a million stories of recovery and success, joy and new life to inspire you. Find them and prosper.
6. Something’s gotta work!
Replace despair with hope, indolence with industry, ignorance with knowledge, fear with confidence, foolishness with wisdom, sadness with joy, bondage with freedom, captivity with liberation. There are so many wonderful qualities you can embrace. Grab them!
7. You can start getting over your downs right NOW
Don’t wait for your pain, your anger, your poverty, your sense of loss, your fear to fade away. If you do nothing, that won’t happen. Get positive now. Don’t wait for people to offer help. Take some kind of action, particularly something appropriate to your current down. There’s no better time to do it than now. Take that first step towards your next up.
8. There is expert help available for you
Sometimes a down may be so dark and deep you wonder if you’ll ever escape, that it’s just too hard. Ask for counselling or professional aid. There’s no shame in reaching out, in asking for the expertise of people able to help. Talk to someone, listen to advice, then act on it.
9. You can still reach out to the world
Whatever place you find yourself in, you still have much to offer. You can always be a help to others. Others still need your love, your skills, your money. You can sustain and encourage.
Going through a down doesn’t cripple you. Continue to be the person you really are, and always have been. Keep on being a doer and a giver. There’s no surer way to get back on top of the world.
10. You aren’t alone
You still have friends, family, loved ones, neighbors, workmates, groups of all kinds. Look to them all for support, encouragement, love. You’re not being asked to sponge on others; just make use of the resources that are already in place for you.
11. Your downs are not unique
Everyone has ups and downs. You’re one person in a huge society. You don’t need to feel alone. The world is full of people who are going through their own good and bad times. The vast majority will come to some satisfactory settlement. So will you.
12. Accentuating the positive will move you forward
So everything might not be going well for you! That’s okay. But there are lots of great things from the past to remember, that surround you now and that lie ahead of you.
Identify everything you have to be grateful for, and BE everlastingly grateful. It’s impossible to live among downs when there are so many ups to see, if you’re prepared to recognize them.
So there are my “Deal-with-it Dozen”.
This hasn’t been written as the result of some wonderful revelation, the appearance of a heavenly vision or a burst of brilliant insight. I’ve simply taken advantage of some of my own ups, gathered together some good common sense, and put it out there with the hope, even the expectation, it will connect with someone. Go for it.
Want to make the list a baker’s dozen? Add another “deal-with-it” entry, or if you prefer, just a comment. I’ll be pleased to hear from you.
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Erral & Jenna are passionate about empowering people to live a satisfying and fulfilling life. They are founders of Success Jennarator. http://successjennarator.com/welcome/