How to Stop Being a Victim and Imagining the Worst (and Take Back your Personal Power).

By David

August 17, 2013   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

We all have times in our lives when we are faced with challenging people or situations.

It’s all part of life’s rich tapestry I’m afraid.

And it is at these times, when our inner strength is challenged, that we can begin to question our thoughts or actions.

This is all perfectly natural. After all, we need to keep ourselves in check and reflect upon our thoughts, emotions and actions, because this is how learning and personal growth is facilitated.

However, if we feel that certain behaviors toward us are unjustified, it can be all too easy to fall into the role of the victim.  Being a blameless victim is an easy trap to fall into, yet it is a very negative platform to be experiencing life from.

Regardless of what we may be feeling at such times in our life, it is important that we do not give away our personal power by indulging in the role of victim or letting our imagination run away with us.

This can occur when communication with others has ceased, perhaps because of a falling out or similar altercation. The trouble is that when there is no longer an open line of communication, we can start imagining what others are thinking, we can start filling in the blanks with negative self-chatter and dark imaginings.

Of course, in reality we cannot really know what anyone is thinking in any given situation, but that doesn’t stop us wondering.

At such times we need to be telling ourselves empowering stories, not those that are fear based, because these fear based illusions suck the energy from us and further feed our doubts and fears.

And you know what? When you are dwelling on a negative situation you are giving your personal power away to that situation or person.

So, when you find yourself dwelling on things, falling into the victim trap and imagining the worst, take note of the following:

•    Change your thoughts to positive ones.   

This one isn’t rocket science; our thoughts determine our lives, so choose yours wisely. Do you want to be grateful and happy or forever feeling sorry for yourself in a well of despair? It may seem hard at the time to ‘think positive’ but there is a wealth of information available on just how powerful out thoughts are. The choice is yours.

•    Take back your personal power.  You are great.

You know what? You are great. You are a one-off limited edition with an indomitable spirit, a big generous heart and an absolute ocean of personal power within. Harness it, use it and show the world what a fabulous person you are. Never give your personal power away to anyone or anything by dwelling on things.

•    If possible, try to communicate or you will always be second guessing.

This is a tricky one I agree, but if you can open a line of communication with the other party then do so. You might be surprised at what you hear. Most people don’t want to fall out with others. And if they do, then at least you know where you stand. No hard feelings and all that. Just wish them the best and continue with your life.

•    Most of the time what we think is going on is just imaginary, born out of fear. 

Seriously, it is. The mind is a powerful tool and once you allow your conscious to entertain a negative thought for too long it can manifest and turn into paranoia and a whole host of other gremlins which you seriously don’t want renting space inside your head. Chuck them out, now.

•    Live your own life, be an activist, not a reactionary.

Once you take a step back and stop reacting to everything that is placed in your path you will see that life isn’t so bad, and neither are most people or situations. When we keep on reacting to things we are not in control of our lives. Taking calm considered action once we are in receipt of all of the facts; yes. Over reacting and making unwise decisions that we cannot come back from; no.

•    Carry on regardless.

You have certainly heard this one before and that’s because there is no better way to move forward than to carry on. It can be all too easy to re-run negative events over and over in our head but where does it get us?


So keep on going, keep on learning, and keep on growing.

Written on 8/17/2013 by Eleanor Goold. Eleanor Goold is an experienced and original writer with a passion for her craft. Her engaging content and life affirming, inspirational writing is published across a range of media Visit her blog at, or follow her on Twitter , Facebook or Google Plus. She also runs a unique copywriting business at

Photo Credit: Live Life Happy


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