Written on 3/19/2008 by Alex Shalman, creator of the Practical Personal Development blog.
There is a special little secret ingredient which is responsible for getting people addicted to you, to love you, and to think of you as an irreplaceable person in their life. Right away you are thinking of how valuable it would be to have such power in romance, friendship and business.
People would love you, adore you, and want you to succeed. How famous, rich, and powerful would you be then? This universal principle applies to any person, and can be executed at any time, but keep in mind that you will be completely exploiting them, so take this knowledge and let the use of it rest on your own conscience.
In any relationship the thing that defines how much you care, feel, and want the best for them, has nothing to do with who they are. It has everything to do with who YOU are. You could equally love the prom queen or a troll, that’s not based on who they are, it’s based on who YOU are.
The secret to making yourself care for and love someone is simply to give to them. Give them your caring, give them your love, and give them an investment of your most valuable asset- your time. Why does a mother always love her child more than vice versa? This is because the mother has given more to the child.
How come the children of parents who give them absolutely everything they ask for grow up to hate their parents? This is because the parents did all of the giving, and the child gave nothing. The parent gave and grew to love, the child took and grew to hate. The key to a mutually loving relationship is a mutually giving relationship- the trick is in the balance.
By now you can see that it’s easier for you to make yourself addicted to them than vice versa. In one sense this is true, but there are a few techniques you can execute in order to facilitate their giving, and thus their loving.
- Get Out Of Their Way. You will notice that often times people offer to help, and you can tell they really want to, but you decide to deny them and do it yourself. Knowing what you know about giving you can now step aside, let them help you and invest time in you, and then give them a simple ‘Thank You.’
- Ask and Receive. When they’re not offering to help, make the offer for them by asking. You might think that causing even a slight inconvenience to them will not make them love you more, because they’re having to go out of their way. Wrong. The more they just had to sacrifice and go out of their way, the more they have given and made an investment.
- Spend Some Time. Engage them in a mutually enjoyable activity. In this case you will both like it, both invest time in each other, and both associate positive emotional states with each other. As you can see, you’re both going to get addicted to each other- win-win.
Can you think of other ways to get someone addicted to you? Share in the comments below.