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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.
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Really think about it.
What do most of your thoughts consist of?
Are they positive, do you uplift yourself?
Or are you doubting yourself and questioning every glimmer of hope?
Your thoughts are a reflection of your personal beliefs.
You go shopping for a new top at a trendy store that you just noticed in the mall. You find a few things you like and are excited to try them on, you try pulling one shirt over your head and it gets stuck somewhere between your elbows and your shoulders. Because you don’t want to break it and have to buy it, you move on to the next one.
A button up shirt, this is simple and it’ll be great on you. Until you look in the mirror and see it looks like every button that is holding the shirt closed is hanging on for dear life. One could go flying, ricochet off the wall and pop you in the eye at any moment. Frustrated you leave the dressing room and storm out of the mall.
You’re on Instagram going through your feed. You scroll down and see an old friend just posted a pic of their brand new car. You stare at the picture for a bit, read the comments. Get a little bothered and continue down your feed for a few seconds before closing the app, you don’t want to see any more of that.
Why did this happen, because you thought you were the problem.
Since the clothes didn’t fit, you thought you put on some weight or you were just too fat to begin with. It didn’t even occur to you that the sizes in the store you’ve never been to before ran small. That your true size was one fit up from their measurements.
Nope, you thought poorly of yourself and ended up with nothing. You couldn’t be truly happy for your friend, or even like the picture, because you compared yourself to them and focused on the lack in your life.
Why can’t you have nice things, like a new clothes or a car? Because you don’t think you can. Your thoughts about it are, you’re too fat to wear it or fit into it, or you can’t afford a new car. You’re just stuck where you’re at, you can’t move up but surely you can go down.
If your thoughts begin with “I’ll never,” “I won’t,” “Why can’t I” or certainty about the negative like, “I know we won’t make the deadline and I’ll be forced to work over the weekend.” Then you’re not safe from your thoughts. They are screwing you over. You’re hurting yourself.
Not sure if this really applies to you, try this: When your mind starts to wonder are the majority of your thoughts negative? Consider any random thought or an immediate reaction to something where you circle back to yourself, like looking at a vacation picture thinking you could never afford it.
If so there’s something you can do to eliminate those thought patterns, I wouldn’t lead you down this road and just leave you.
Apply these tips to protect yourself and your future from mediocrity and despair.
1. Labels are for jars
Your mind constantly tries to answer your questions and meet your needs. If you consider yourself broke your mind will work to make that a fact. You’ll break something that needs to be replaced or repair, so it’ll be another thing you’ll have to spend money you don’t have on.
If you think you’re fat and equate fat to being ugly, your habits will start to reflect someone who has no regard for their appearance and health. The pounds will stick even more.
2. Have faith in you
To do anything you have to believe in yourself. You probably don’t remember but when you took your first step as a child you did it because you thought you could. And look at you now, I bet you can run too.
Be your own motivator, instead of telling yourself that you can’t, believe you can. You can even ask yourself how it can be done. Your mind will find an answer or two.
Your mantra should be positive, reinforcing your abilities. Always think that you can do it, because you can. Once this pattern of thinking becomes natural to you, you’ll reject any doubt, from within or from others.
3. Only acknowledge the truth
Many of your negative thoughts can be false or only become a reality after you’ve welcomed them. Just because you think once that you’re broke doesn’t make you broke. But if you continue with that, you believe it and make it true.
When you have a negative thought, assess it. Determine if there is any truth to it. If there isn’t dismiss it. But if there is correct it, prove yourself wrong.
4. Your mind is powerful
You may not be able to change seasons or create natural disasters like Storm from the X-Men but your little noggin does have power. What you become is the result of your thoughts.
If you didn’t think it, it would not be a possibility. Every achievement started out as a thought. So be positive.
5. Start small and practically
In order to be successful your goals have to be realistic. Big dreams can seem impossible but when you break them down into manageable steps your wildest dreams can be your ultimate future.
The best part is the completion of one will build you up for the next one.
Do you have the desire to buy a car but it seems too farfetched. Put yourself on a budget, eliminate unnecessary spending. Place your lunch money in a jar and take your leftover dinner for lunch.
Create an actionable plan, that’s all. You don’t have to win the lotto to do something nice for yourself.
I actually have a savings jar the shape of a Coke bottle. My husband and I put spare change in it. You’d be surprised how quickly coins can turn into dollars. We once cashed it in and went on a weekend vacation with it.
6. Learn from the past
When you’re trying to achieve greater things a history of failure may haunt you, but don’t let it.
Everything happens for a reason, so if it didn’t work out for you it probably benefited you in some way, shape or form. You may not know exactly why yet but there are still other takeaways.
Look at it as a learning experience. What can you gain from it, what about it can make you better for the next time? What didn’t go as planned, what would you do differently?
Identifying the wisdom in your shortcomings will help you bounce back and move forward.
You probably haven’t heard this since elementary school, but you can do anything you set your mind to. Unfortunately this is a universal rule. It applies to the bad as well as the good.
Make sure that your thoughts are conducive to the life you want to live. You’ll be amazed how much easier and enjoyable life is when you’re not holding yourself back. Protect your dreams and goals from your own destruction by using these tips.
|Written on 2/20/2014 by Lea Bullen. Lea is a certified life coach, foodie and lifehack obsessed. Your past thoughts have already influenced how you live your life today. But life can be so much easier and enjoyable when you’re living it the way you want to. Head over to her personal development site now to take the eye-opening Redesign Your Life course to do just that!|
Photo Credit: Glen Scott
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