How Do I Get Him To Text Me Instead Of Me Texting Him All The Time?


It’s all too common. You’re texting with someone new but you notice that you’re the one who starts every conversation. Things feel a little one-sided, but you can fix! Here’s how to get him to message first1

Stop Texting Him First

If you’re the one who always initiates conversation, you’re letting him know that you’ll always be there. What incentive does he have to pick up his phone and shoot you a message over text or Facebook if this is how it’s always been? So stop messaging him all the time. Don’t be reliable in that way.

Of course, you might not hear from him immediately, but this gives him the chance to message you first. You definitely want to keep busy while you’re trying to make this work, even though your mind might be focusing on the fact that you’re not talking. But don’t give in!

Don’t Be Available At All Times

By this, we mean you shouldn’t drop everything to reply to him or be available 24/7. Take some time to reply. This lets him know you’re in demand from other people. In fact, you should be keeping an active social life and not just be waiting by your phone or computer for him to reply.

When he realizes he has to compete — a little! — he should make more of an effort to get hold of you. Finally, you should make sure your conversations have a clear end. Let him know you’re going to sleep or work or another social engagement and he’ll have to catch you later.

Now, you don’t want to ignore him outright. If he makes a serous effort to contact you, calls or even shows up on your door, you’ll want to answer with your brightest smile. But he knows to know you’re not at his beck and call.

Leave Him Wanting More

This definitely ties in to ending the conversation. If you know how to end the conversation with something witty or with a promise of another discussion that piques his interesting, he’ll have no choice but to message you first next time.

The same idea works if you’re talking about yourself. Hint at a great story or something a little naughty that he might want to know, but don’t give it away right away. Make him ask questions and become more engaged in the conversation with your mysterious allure.

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Author: Jay White

I started Dumb Little Man so great authors, writers and bloggers could share their life "hacks" and tips for success with everyone. I hope you find something you like!