So you’re cruising Craigslist’s casual encounters section. You start talking to a self-shrinking violet who wants to parTy and be wooed with roses. The next thing you know, you’re in jail for cavorting with a prostitute who was high on meth. Whoa! That got real fast. Welcome to Craigslist, the sewer of the Internet. Unless you’re a serial killer with low expectations, Craigslist is no place to find love.
If you fell for the shrinking violet story, you missed the hidden message written between the lines. Violet can mean marijuana. A strategically placed capital T means meth. Roses is a code word for dollars in prostitution. If she wants to spend a romantic evening with you in exchange for 40 roses, she’s not talking about flowers.
For those looking for trouble, Craigslist is full of it. But for others, missing the hidden codewords implanted in an ad could land you in a sticky situation.
A recent drug bust revealed that dealers attempted to sell the painkiller Roxicodone through the site. They used the code word ‘Roxy boardshorts size 30.’ 30 stood for 30 mg. Another bust revealed that heroin was being sold as ‘roofing tar.’
Bad news for some poor guy just trying to fix a leaky roof.
If you spot any of the following code words or acronyms on Craigslist, beware!
The Craigslist Code
420, Mary-Jane, Violet – Marijuana
ABR/ANR – Should you come across an ad for ABR/ANR, shut your laptop and throw it into the sea. It stands for Adult Breastfeeding Relationship or Adult Nursing Relationship. Urgh.
Anything to do with massage or casual encounters – Under no circumstances sign up for a massage through Craigslist. If they’re listed as DDF it means they’re disease and drug free. But people on the Internet lie. Like, a lot. Newsweek reported that Craigslist hookups were responsible for a 16% increase in cases of HIV.
Cranked – If somebody wishes to get cranked, it means they want to sample a rainbow of narcotics that will have them bouncing off the walls like demented fruit bats. Avoid.
Fun Times – Fun times are not fun times. If you see an ad for fun times, it really means that the author hopes for a casual hookup. History has shown that hooking up casually on Craigslist can spell disaster. For lonely hearts who want a platonic friend, buy a cat. Never agree to ‘fun times.’
Molly – Don’t meet Molly unless you’re trying to score MDMA.
Poppy – Also heroin.
Ski – They like skiing! You like skiing! A perfect road trip buddy for Aspen? No bueno. This one will snort the snow off the slopes. Skiing means cocaine. So does California Cornflakes. Don’t make brunch plans through the classified section.
Riding The H Train – The only train you’ll be riding is the one straight to jail if you meet up with this dope slinging degenerate. H stands for heroin.
Rolls Royce – Don’t get your hopes up if an online suitor offers to take you out in his Rolls Royce. Their ride might really be the bus, but they’ll offer you ecstasy on route.
Roses, sugar, doe, $, help, tips – Cash money. More specifically, cash money that’s exchanged for sexual favors.
Tina – Tina is Molly’s ugly, meaner sister – AKA crystal methamphetamine
Water Works/ Wet Works – This means somebody wants to urinate on you, or they’re an assassin. Either way, it’s a bad scene.Craigslist’s crew of artful dodgers are always inventing new codewords to creep around the authorities. By the time you read this list, it may already be outdated. But accidentally stumbling upon a drug racket is the least of your concerns when poking a toe into Craigslist’s cesspool.
One Google search will reveal a litany of Craigslist horror stories. Serial killings, beheadings, sex crimes, fetus murders…it’s a playbook of horror movie plotlines. But sometimes you can find good deals on slightly used furniture. What a dilemna! How do you stay safe on Craigslist?
Never meet alone
If you’re going to buy a fish tank or a nice looking futon, take a buddy with you. Preferably a big strong buddy, who looks like they could fend off trouble.
Get a full name before you meet
Check them out online before you meet. If they don’t want to give you a name, run the number through a phone lookup directory. It may reveal all kinds of details about them.
Scan for any red flags
If the post is well-written, includes photographs, a name, and a number, you might be okay. If any words, such as parTy, are spelled strangely, abort. It might be a code word for something you don’t want to get involved in.
Is Craigslist really brimming with psychopaths and drug dealers? Like any neck of the woods, it has its fair share of creeps and weirdos. Never use Craigslist for any type of socializing; the freak ratio increases dramatically when you exit the mainstream sections. Craigslist can be a great resource, but make sure to use it wisely and exercise caution and common sense.