Break ups happen every day, everywhere. Even though we may have already experienced them, the fact is we are never prepared to coping with such hard times. Our world seems to be falling down to pieces and it is quite hard to overcome them. No matter what people try to tell you or help you out, we normally think we won´t have the strength or commitment to handle them out. It does take time and lots of effort to put our lives back to the ground again, but we survive. Everybody does. The 3 best-quote physicians for everything including break-ups are time, patience and nature.
This 3-day solution guide intends to bring fast results and to be useful to rough moments. Even though, we all know everything will be fine, we do wish to go through all this as quickly as possible and get soon back to life. No one wishes to carry on thinking, crying or attached to the ex.
Actually, this guide was first set at my parent´s house to prevent us (my brothers and I) to have non-endless days complaining about the ex. So we learned this fast healing technique that takes 3 days to make a brand new start. It does work fine and I guess my parents were happy to avoid all break-up dramas. The greatest benefits are fast results to everyone. We already know that life goes on, but that goes on well and fast: that is surprise!
Day number 1 – Express your feelings.
The first day after a break-up is always the worst one. Usually, it is spent in bed, crying all day long, letting your tears roll down. It is a hard day for everything, from food you can´t eat to words you are unable to speak. You simply wish to disappear, to dig a hole and depart. You feel pain, sadness, sorrow, fear, anger and remorse. Don´t worry: day number 1 is set for crying and expressing any feelings you may have kept locked up all this time. Cry until there are no more tears left, until you forget the reason why you are crying, cry like a river. You may even stay in bed and postpone work or any sort of previous arrangements to let it come out. The cure comes from expressing what is inside so allow sorrow, anguish, and despair to come out. Don´t worry about sounding ridiculous, being childish or crying like a teen, it is the only way to get rid of old stuff and make space for the new. If you feel like, wear pajamas all day, write 100 love messages, invite a friend to come over, drink lots of soothing herbal tea, text your parents to say you love them, write poems on love and sadness, whatever. It´s very important that you do not disguise any feeling. Remember: the first step to a new beginning is getting rid of old feelings.
Day number 2 – Life goes on.
Second day will make you feel a little better, at least a little. It is a crucial day between your past and future and you should set it in between these paths. You may cry a little, but not the whole day. The aim of the second day is to avoid getting into the “OMG” split-up mood and regain self-control. Call friends, read a new book and get back to normal life at least half of your day. Avoid over thinking about the ex and go back to usual routine: work, gym, library, meetings, and friends. Try to accomplish a solo activity and a social one at the second day. This is important because they raise different memories and we need to get adapted to everything to move on. It is kind of moderation day to learn new challenges. I have seen friends who were doing well at work but when they got home, they simply fell down into crying and sadness. Others were perfect at home but when they went out to meet other people, they couldn´t help themselves to tears. Whatever your case is, it´s important to keep calm and act wisely.
Day number 3 – Start something new.
On third day, life goes back to normal, wash your tears away and follow your routine. Dress nicely, wear some make-up, comb you hair to a different hair-style and add a little glitter to yourself. You deserve to shine. Surround yourself with motivational quotes; hang them around your desk, room, kitchen, everywhere. “Life is a journey; there will always be new chances and new beginnings. Happiness is not a destination, it´s a way of living. Back to life. Be happy. Ode to joy. You are more powerful than you think”. Day number 3 is not for crying; let your split-up mood vanish, washout it out completely and start a new project right away. It could be anything you have always dreamed of but never had the chance to pursue. This is your day, make it live. From dancing classes to photography tours, from online wine courses to a weekend trip to the desert: get ready, we just live once.
Take the best out of it and don´t accept anything less. Then, keep your feet down to the ground: one step at a time, one day after the other. Respect yourself, but set your goals up high. As Nina Simone has so nicely once put it: “It´s a new dawn, it´s a new day, it´s a new life, for me, and I´m feeling good”!
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Author: Monica Mastrantonio
Monica Mastrantonio is a PhD Social Psychologist who loves writing and sharing new ideas. Mother of three, lecturer and researcher, she finds perfect time to travelling, reading, jogging and cooking.