Forgiveness is often misunderstood. We tend to think that forgiveness can only be given to others when they hurt us or cause us pain. You say, “It’s okay. I forgive you” and then it’s over. Chapter closed. In reality, though, forgiveness is a much more complex concept.
First of all, granting forgiveness is not just a matter of mere words. Truly forgiving someone happens within. It doesn’t mean you forget what happened, but rather accept it and choose to move forward.
Secondly, when you are forgiving others, you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for you. You may hear so many people saying, “But what if someone doesn’t deserve forgiveness? What if what they did was really wrong and they didn’t make an effort to earn forgiveness?” The fact of the matter is, whether or not they deserve it, you do. You deserve to let go of that hurt, resentment, fear, bitterness, and all of other negative feelings that may prevail within you after that experience.
Also, we mustn’t forget that very often we have to forgive ourselves. This is even harder than forgiving others. But until we don’t, guilt and loneliness prevails. But if we choose to forgive ourselves, love and peace takes over, and we all deserve that in our lives.
Here are 5 reasons why we all deserve forgiveness.
1) Forgiveness allows everyone to move on:
Without forgiveness, not only are you hitting back with some sort of “mental revenge” but also, poisoning yourself. Imagine that hurt to be like a wound in your heart, and by not forgiving, you are choosing to let it be. What will happen? The wound will spread, get infected, and may even start affecting other parts of your body. This will continue to happen until it takes over all of you and your life.
This is exactly how emotional pain that we choose to hold on to works. Forgiveness is the only way you can allow that wound to heal. When that happens, you can finally move on and allow better things to enter your life.
2) We would want it too:
Every time you hold a grudge against someone, think about how you would feel if that were you. Before you start saying things like, “I would never do something like that”, go over the time you did something that caused you immense guilt. For instance, when one time your friend asked you to help him with nursing dissertation writing , you declined without showing any decency. It may not have been that bad, but it was still unacceptable. What did you want when that happened? We’re sure that above everything else, you just wanted to be forgiven.
This is exactly how this person (who you’re choosing not to forgive) may feel. They deserve it just as much as you do. No one’s perfect, not even you. When people learn to forgive , they create a cycle. You learn from others and it passes on and on. However, if you choose to remain resentful, the cycle stops.
3) God also forgives:
There are innumerable verses and ways God explains the importance of forgiveness. There is no denying that God chooses to forgive even the worst of sins and allows us the opportunity to improve. Through his signs, we learn that he has truly forgiven us and we can grow spiritually and move forward towards the path of guidance. We should also learn from God’s compassion. If he can forgive us time and time again, we can also learn to do same.
4) Forgiveness allows the other person a chance to improve:
When your forgive someone, it’s like you’re telling them, “What you did is now in the past. Now, you need to work on being better in the future”. People who want to be forgiven want to hear this and know this more than anything else. It makes them feel like they have been given a second chance to improve. This motivates them to step up and prove themselves worthy of it. Sometimes, this is really all they need to become a better person .
By not forgiving them you are giving them the message that no matter how hard they try, they will never earn a second chance. This promotes defensive thoughts and feelings. As a result, they are not encouraged to try and be better, because they know that the damage has been done and it’s of no use.
5) Forgiveness breeds love, compassion, and happiness:
There is a certain spiritual quality to forgiveness . The liberation you experience after you forgive yourself or another cannot be expressed in words. This is the same way you feel when you’re happy, in love, or at peace.
Forgiveness means to open your heart to that those feelings, or “energy”, and letting that energy pass on to others around us. Consequently, we let that energy create an atmosphere or harmony, happiness, and compassion in our home, community, lives, and all around us.
Rochelle Ceira is a career consultant who loves to help fresh grads and experienced alike to cope with their professional life and make it more exciting than it ever was. loves to share her expertise on leadership program, career growth and entrepreneurship.