4 Keys To Speaking Your Mind With Confidence

By Tiana Clark

July 1, 2014   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

How many of us have believed we should remain quiet, instead of consistently fighting for our truly remarkable ability to vocalize our thoughts? While it’s true that listening to others at least some of the time, can transform you into a well-respected person, sometimes echoing your voice into distant territories can change the world. Too many of us believe we are not worthy. But the most timeless route to demonstrate your infinite capabilities, and endlessly interesting thinking, is to open your lips and express something confidently.

Confident people know they have an advantage, because they’re more likely to meet potential friends, travel to out-of-this world places, and have life-changing experiences, than those who are the exact opposite of them. Regardless if you’re afraid to talk or can’t go a minute without talking, I’ve learned some key methods of becoming a more confident human being through countless moments of keeping silent. Read on to start living a more self-confident lifestyle today!

Practice expressing a clear point of view:
Most of us have spoken at least once, but instead mumbled a jumble of incoherent language. Just recall how many times you’ve muttered um or an uh, and weren’t able to define what you’ve wanted when you nervous about something. It’s not a big problem until it often gets in the way of getting what you want. Notice how people might have gotten what they wanted, and you had much less of a say of your own wants, simply because you weren’t able to articulate your desires clearly. Confident people know how important language is, and how it is both a tool to tear down hidden assumptions and a barrier to positive change. Don’t expect people to read your mind. A good tip is to take a public speaking course online or at a local community college. You’ll likely not only learn how to speak clearly, but learn how to speak better in general.

Set clear boundaries for yourself:
This is especially important, particularly if you want to become more confident to discuss what you would like to have. Say a friend has asked you to help clean their house an hour each day for five days. What exactly do you want? In other words, your request isn’t something that you kind of want. You could set a boundary of only vacuuming and cleaning dishes an hour, for three days a week since you’ve had a back injury recently. Imagine how much you would lose if you weren’t willing to simply disagree and come up with a more practical plan. Now say you’re trying to help tutor a student. You could set a clear boundary of only helping them if they choose to read their textbook first. If you didn’t tell the student that, imagine how they might have begged you to solve every problem without trying to help themselves first! Confident people are not only good at getting what they want, they’re good at knowing what they truly want. Try to learn how to set more maintainable goals, using devices such as SMART goals. Knowing how to set goals will help shape what your boundaries, and lay a groundwork into discussing your needs.

Take responsibility for your own needs and wants.
After all, no one is willing to take responsibility for what you need or would like to have, but you. People who aren’t confident blame others, when they could take responsibility for at least some of the issue. They think the world is too overwhelming for them to handle, so they refuse to step in and instead sit in the sidelines. You can’t always wait for someone to help you, so you have to take the initiative to help yourself. Confident people will be afraid at times, but they still do it, because they know that the benefits greatly outweigh the pain and fear. Make an effort to look after your ambitions, desires, and cravings. Instead of putting the blame on someone else, ask yourself ”what can I do to change this?” Start making an effort to take responsibility for your own actions by living a healthy lifestyle and being mindful. If you do that, a strong-willed voice might very well come easily.

Don’t speak to please others. Speak to please yourself:
Have you ever felt like people expected too much from you? Many of us expect others to act a certain way, and conform to a certain label, so that they can meet our expectations. I say to abandon that. The next time you want to speak for something, think of how you alone will benefit. What will you alone gain? What new ideals, or ways of thinking will you reap? It’s always good to do nice things, but you should want to become more confident mainly in order to satisfy yourself. Confident people want to please themselves, while not wanting to step on others people’s feet. Start planning and writing your own bucket list, and think about it for a little while, perhaps while walking briskly or having a shower. Do whatever you can, and edit it if you need to. It will help acknowledge what’s truly important to you, and cause you to want you to make yourself happier.

The truth is, you’re not going to communicate more confidently around other people just by reading this alone. You’ll need to practice for days, and possibly even months, if you truly want to become assured, assertive, confident, whatever. Although all of this might seem too overwhelming to digest, it will become a lot easier if you learn how to respect yourself first. In fact, taking care of who you are yourself is arguably the most crucial method of not only speaking up for yourself, but becoming a more accomplished and enriched human being. Confident people also surround themselves with confident people, so motivate yourself to hang out with other people. And finally if you can speak, you probably can speak confidently. Put it to good use.

Tiana Clark

Tiana is a high school student who imagines. She's dedicated to transforming any life into something remarkable. You can also find her writing at Lifehack.

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