Everybody has this moment every now and then.
We feel like everything is just fine, going in the right direction, and we should feel happy. But there’s something missing…
I experience this on a daily basis. And although for the last three years of my life I’ve been living the way most people could only imagine, I’ve felt this lacking almost every day.
Sometimes you just want to feel the emotion of happiness more deeply. You want to embrace it completely and have that sense of fulfilment.
You want to feel happy NOW.
But along the way, you’ve been told that happiness is not something you can achieve instantly. That it’s not something you can just wish to happen and it will. That it takes time and work to be happy…
All of this is pure bullshit.
I want to show you how you can be happier this moment. How you can start feeling excited, joyful, and alive in only seconds.
Try out all three of these little-known strategies, and you just might gain control over your emotions in any moment.
1. Shorten your horizon
In modern days, we’re short of everything. We never have enough time. We never have enough resources. The horizon of things to do is almost endless. We’re always late.
That also means we’re never present.
We’re not present because we’re constantly thinking about THE FUTURE. Post-its, to-do-lists, productivity hacks… you name it.
We’re being taught there’s always a way to improve, change, make better. There’s always something extra to do.
In order not to get lost in this web of life, we try to create LONG-TERM plans, so we feel we’re in control. But at the same time, that’s exactly the thing that overwhelms us and blocks us from happiness.
If you’re like me, you have one hundred eighteen things you need to do this week and five times more to finish this month. In a year you have to be X, and in three years you should be able to gain Y…
We can’t feel happiness of the moment because there’s the shadow of the dark future lurking if we stop for a moment.
What if you changed your thinking? What if you decided that every day you’re just going to focus on ONE NEXT STEP? One right thing to do?
You can always figure out what the ONE next thing to do is, right? That’s not as daunting.
Instead of thinking about a chain of tasks for the upcoming month, decide on one right thing to do today.
And start doing it.
You’ll notice how your sense of accomplishment and excitement are going to rise. It’s easy to succeed that way.
Life is not a project, and you’re not a project management software.
What is the one right action in your life to take NOW?
2. The Breathing Pattern
You can change the state you’re in at any moment.
It’s like a light switch.
You don’t want to feel sad and frustrated? Turn that emotion off, and instead, turn on another state—like complete bliss.
In order to make that switch, you have to change three elements. The first of them is to change your BREATHING PATTERN.
You know that moment when you get angry, sad, or depressed? What happens to your breathing?
It gets shallow and short.
What about at the moment of happiness? Go back to the last time you felt really free. Remember how it felt?
Breathe more deeply. Inhale for four seconds. Feel the air filling your lungs and belly then exhale for four seconds. Notice how the stress is leaving your body.
The first moment you try change your way of breathing your brain might want to fight the change. But with deeper breathing, it gets an injection of fresh air and some SPACE for new energy.
At some point, it simply lets go.
And then you enter peace and silence.
3. The “I CAN” Formula
How do you go about your day?
What is your brain telling you about the activities you get involved in?
If you’re like most people, your self-talk looks something like this: “I should go and do this thing now”, “I have to do this task now”, “I need to take care of this matter now”, or “I must concentrate on that now”…
It’s all full of “should”, “have to”, “must”, “need”.
All those verbs have one thing in common – you’re not a source of active control in them. You’re driven by obligations and rules rather than free will and choice.
That’s not a philosophy that brings you closer to happiness in any way.
Wanna feel happier in a heartbeat?
Exchange all of these words for one new one.
Choose, “I CAN”.
“I can” is a magical formula. It brings positivity, gratitude, and CONTROL into your life.
It changes your point of focus from negative to positive.
If you notice that you “can” do things, instead of you “must” do them, you notice the most important gift of life – LIFE itself.
Why are you faking life?
Most people spend their time constantly worrying.
They worry about what to do, how to be better, what others will think about them, how should they act…
In order to feel loved and meet everybody’s expectations, they strive to be perfect.
But life is not about being perfect. There’s no such thing as “perfect” in nature.
In your life, you can choose ONE OF TWO ways.
One way is to fake perfection.
The other one is to focus on simply living your life.
Take that weight off your shoulders. Accept who you are. Say to yourself, “Fuck it, it’s OK the way it is now”. Then take a deep breath and smile.
Sometimes this is what we need most—to allow ourselves to just BE.
This helps you become present. It centres you in the moment. It reconnects you with life.
Is there something more gratifying than just allowing yourself to be? Or would you rather spend your life faking perfection?
Which way do you choose?
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Author: Damien Dante
Damien Dante is a writer and life-traveler obsessed with one question - how can we make the world around us a happier place. He shows a way how to be happy in his new book “The Wake-Up Journey'.