29 Signs He’s Cheating (How to know)
Ladies, have you found yourself contemplating whether your partner is seeing someone else?
Are you going over your entire time together, comparing the difference between now and before, scratching your head to make sure you try your best to add that spice back into your relationship?
This is a difficult time and phase, especially when women are forced to draw inferences from the little things that they notice as having changed and when they have no option but to believe and then chase their instincts.
This happens mostly because the partner mostly acts very defensive in such a situation, leaving no room for communication or open-ended discussions.
Are you also tired of lying, uncertainty, and calculated conversations?
We can understand how difficult that can be, and so, we’ve compiled a list of 29 Signs he’s Cheating.
Keep on reading to have your questions be answered.
Table of Contents
- 🤜 Most women miss the 29 signs he’s cheating. Ladies be on your guard 🤛
- 👉 Reasons Men Cheat on a Relationship 👈
- 🖐 Cheating Questions to Ask your Boyfriend 🖐
- ◼️ Long-Distance Relationship Cheating Signs ◼️
- ❌ Catching your Boyfriend Cheating ❌
- 🚧 Difference between Privacy and Security in a Relationship 🚧
- ❓ Relevant Questions ❓
🤜 Most women miss the 29 signs he’s cheating. Ladies be on your guard 🤛
1. “What you would do if I cheated on you?”
They ask you about a hypothetical scenario in which they cheat on you, and ask you how you would deal with it.
This is the most classic trick that men turn to in order to understand what lies ahead for them in case you ever find out.
Alternately, some men may even ask this question to gauge whether you think it is a ‘ridiculous’ idea, dismissing the very notion of them cheating on you, all together.
This can come in handy if you ever do end up finding hints or evidence of them cheating on you. Talk about playing a safe game!
2. “She’s around here, you know, doing… the thing she does”
When asked by others about where you are or what you are up to, they usually do not have substantiate answers to give to others.
This is because they don’t pay much attention to your whereabouts anyway (on account of their mind being invested elsewhere), but also because they have genuinely stopped caring about what you are or have been up to!
A simple test for this is to get your trusted girlfriends to ask him how it’s going between you two and throw questions about specific events from your recent whereabouts, to him.
Watch him stammer or avoid the topic casually, and you can then know for sure!
3. “I’m sorry/ I feel really bad that… / because of me, you had to…”
A lot of the time, if your partner is in fact cheating on you, they carry the burden of what can seem as unnecessary guilt, with them.
You might notice them feeling guilty quite unreasonably.
No matter what the situation, they end up expressing how they’re feeling guilty of putting you in that situation, or how they’re the reason why you feel bad as an outcome of it.
This is just their bigger guilt resurfacing and then finding solace in other minor mistakes that they make along the way on account of not trying to be nice or right in the relationship.
This is a huge red flag that a lot of women tend to miss.
The added guilt and constant apologies could be a sign of cheating.
4. They share less and less with you.
You often find them emotionally unavailable, they do not discuss more their friends and family, they avoid opportunities to spend time, energy, or effort, they have other sudden new plans, their interest base shifts unknowingly- things like these, you can’t help but feel in your gut.
These are also easily identifiable red flags that are perhaps the most easily noticeable.
If they suddenly share less of what goes on in their day, look at you with suspicious eyes when you ask them to share more or spend more time with you, they just might be cheating.
This is because they are very apparently far less interested in the existing relationship to focus on their new relationship.
5. Lack of clear and honest conversation.
If you ever decide to have a conversation with them about what counts as cheating behavior or what according to them may be a sign of cheating, they quickly flee from the conversation or give very vague answers that do not lead to any conclusive remarks or opinions on the matter.
This is probably because if they accept their cheating ways, they will not be able to offer an acceptable explanation for if when you find out later.
This explanation will be based on a conversation that was anyway had earlier, rendering them guilty and very evidently proving that your man is cheating on you.
6. “When will you be home tomorrow?”
While this question can be taken as a sign of care and love, lots of manipulators aka your cheating boyfriend or husband might ask this question to better calculate just how long they have the house to themselves and the other woman so that they can avoid getting caught.
Now, this motive is definitely not something that they want you to know, but it’s definitely a sign that you should keep in mind!
7. Insecurity about your body
If you, ladies, have found yourself questioning your own physical appearance due to lack of sex between yourself and your boyfriend/ husband or wondered if you were still ‘attractive enough’ for them to not go looking for someone new, chances are that their behavior is the reason you feel this way (A short disclaimer here- it is not okay to feel like you need to keep up your appearances to be worthy of someone’s love and attention.
If they can’t love you for who you are, you’re better off without them, girl! 🙂 ).
If you’re considering seeing a marriage and family therapist if you find yourself having mood swings because of your dislike towards your body or your appearance if you’re suspicious about why your boyfriend/ husband has a reduced passion for you-
chances are, they’ve given you a reason to raise all those questions.
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8. He accuses you of cheating.
If your partner is cheating on you, you might find it odd when he accuses you of cheating!
Believe it or not, there are many men and women who end up using this sick tactic in order to make themselves appear innocent or convince you that they loathe cheating as behavior and would never partake in it themselves.
Your partner may also, at this stage, be aware that you are suspicious of the truth of them cheating on you or that you’re considering that they may be cheating.
They find it easy to accuse you instead because if you end up breaking up with them because of this disgusting and untrue accusation, they are free to focus on another woman or continue their cheating without having to force themselves into lying or watch your every move in order to keep the affair private anymore.
9. They want you to be mean.
This might seem like a very odd sign but as you’re reading this, it’s also probably making sense to you.
Let’s say you’re secretly planning a surprise for your partner, you call up all your friends, you do every nice thing in the book for them by spending a lot of effort and money, only for them to respond with “you didn’t have to do that!” but in a non-humble way, as if to suggest that it’s your fault for being so good to them and showing some interest in someone you’re dating.
When someone’s cheating on you, they might want to conveniently demean you for your efforts in order to feel good about how they spend time on another woman, or, they might do so to drive you away and eventually ease the breakup.
This is a huge red flag and if this happens, it could mean that this is a strong sign of not being invested in this relationship!
10.”I don’t know where she is or what she’s up to”
When asked about the other woman (if you can suspect who your partner is cheating on you with), they show a lack of interest in knowing things like what they are up to, where they have been, and basically pretend that they don’t speak to them anymore or to make it extreme, that they aren’t related to them in any way and will loathe spending them with them.
They, therefore, show as little interest in them as possible and avoid the possibility of any talk with them in the recent past.
Their life is something they could know nothing about!
In order to hint at their affair with the woman, they avoid any talk of them altogether.
If this topic seems wrong to you and their behavior is raising a red flag for some reason, this could be a sign of the ongoing affair.
11.”Don’t touch my phone”
Your guy could be hiding way more than you can imagine on one device- his phone.
Have you been tracking his social media accounts?
Does he have more or less of them now than before?
He may open new and different accounts to keep his double life private in order to avoid the behaviors that follow such as lying about the affair however possible.
You need to keep a watch on his accounts very closely- very often, a cheating individual may even go to the extent of buying a new phone to keep the two accounts separate and avoid any further documenting of proof from newer sources.
If you see a sudden change in the way the man uses social media, shows signs of leading a double life, has turned to somewhere else instead of his social presence to keep him satisfied- then he might be cheating on you with someone else.
At this point, his phone is your biggest and safest bet.
12.”We spoke about this? I don’t remember”
If your man suddenly keeps forgetting conversations or the important things that you mention to him, this is a sign of him not being invested in dating you anymore.
His mind is obviously occupied somewhere else, and he does not find anything wrong with that. Instead, he will ask you to restate yourself or keep asking you about obligations that he has missed despite your having mentioned them earlier.
Keep a watch on how well he remembers something that you next mention to him!
13.”Don’t do my laundry. Those are my clothes.”
If your guy suddenly has a problem with you doing his laundry after doing it for all this time, he may be cheating on you. When there’s another woman involved, it is possible that signs such as lipstick marks, cologne, the perfume that the woman uses- might be easily caught by you.
This is a very tricky sign to catch because they may very often just appear as considerate and you might think they’re trying to lessen your work or own up more on their part, but frankly, pair this with the other signs mentioned by us, and you’ll be able to figure out if they’re actually cheating!
14. They talk less and listen more.
The desire to not talk and spend more time listening to what you have to say or vent to them might be taken as a good thing, only and only if they weren’t huge talkers earlier or if they have suddenly stopped sharing what’s going on through their mind anymore, with you.
If they often display mood swings, their sudden behavior makes them seem interested more in your whereabouts than them wanting to share their own, chances are that they’re just silent and ignorant towards you while calculating or scheming in their head out of fear of lying about dating someone else, and then helplessly getting caught.
If that man is cheating on you, this is a huge sign!
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15. They try to look “younger” all of a sudden.
Suddenly, you’ll observe that your guy (on account of meeting someone new) is thinking about or has already purchased new clothes, they care about their appearance now more than ever, they buy a smartphone, they hang out with “friends” much younger than them, they’re spending a lot of time taking care of their looks or just that they are spending more money on trendy styles and other related areas that help them look “younger”.
This is a huge sign that this guy could be cheating or seeking someone else.
16. You’re getting negative vibes from them.
The same person you liked being around on a usual basis and dating healthily until now, has now most probably started pining for someone new.
This same person now seems “wrong” for you, and their behavior ticks you off in more ways than one.
When the same man who helped you feel comfortable in your previous relationship is now showing behavior that is problematic/ unappealing/ makes you experience negative vibes, they might, sadly, be cheating on you.
17. They’re critical of your behavior and fight over everything.
The title says it all. If there is no room left for understanding, conversation, collaboration, and conflict resolution, they are bound to blame you for things and fight very often.
This stage may or may not come just before they run into another woman’s arms.
For anyone feeling bad about this, please don’t, woman!
It is not and will never be your fault. If there is no room for resolving fights, it’s likely that they are not looking to mend the relationship and you’re much better off from someone who seems like they don’t want to exhibit behavior that can save a relationship!
18. Defensive about ‘infidelity’
If you were to ask them about their thoughts on infidelity while suspecting that they are indulging in it, they will get extremely defensive as if you’re targeting the question more as an accusation towards them.
If you don’t mind things running downhill and arriving at the bottom of the situation in one go, then this is the way to do it, for you.
Just ask your man about their thoughts on infidelity and see how he answers.
If you’re feeling it in your gut already, chances are that your guy is in fact cheating on you.
This is often one of the biggest signs in any problematic relationship and shouldn’t be too difficult to spot.
19. They’re okay with not knowing more about you
When the mystery or element in any relationship is gone, it usually calls for trouble or at least, revaluation in the relationship.
Many couples work on finding ways to keep it interesting or maybe attempt to rediscover each other in newer ways that don’t fit the usual bill.
But if your man does not show any interest in getting to know more about you or if he shows no active interest in others in your life such as your friends or any other person in your usual circle, they might be slowly detaching themselves from you while attaching themselves to someone else.
20. Where’s the money going?
If you catch your man spending more than they’re earning, or struggling to make ends meet without any major expenses if it seems like your man’s usual finances are just not adding up or if his credit statement and savings are out of order, chances are that the money is being spent leading a double life and carrying out indulgences with the new mistress.
It is really not very difficult to spot such behavior!
21. Disappearing from social profiles
A very big sign that your man is detaching from the life that he has already created for himself is when he stops being the person that he already is.
If he gets a new phone to change his number or gets another phone alongside the existing one in order to maintain a separate set of contacts, friends, and even a whole relationship, if he seems aloof and appears guilty- these are definite signs that he wants to detach from his existing tole as your partner!
22. Changes in schedule
If his schedule has suddenly changed, if he meets his “friends” at odd times, if he mentions there is something else going on in his life than the actual reason that you suspect for a change in his schedule, then maybe that is a cause for concern.
There can’t be a change in one’s entire schedule (that they’ve worked very hard on setting) based on something that is maybe not very significant in the first place.
23. A stop in casual touching or affection
If he doesn’t touch you unless there is a necessity or does not show any affection towards you in private, chances are that he is no longer interested in you.
Moreover, the man is maybe fulfilling those needs from someone else.
He could be holding your hand, at the most, in a social setting.
But if he doesn’t do the same when it’s just the two of you, if he spends a lot of time on his phone instead of talking, if he suddenly maintains physical distance from you, then it’s one of the biggest signs of disinterest.
24. Avoiding eye contact
If he avoids looking directly into your eyes, the window to the soul, when you’re doing either the simplest of activities together or just even being intimate, he’s compulsively trying to avoid physically confronting you.
Shying away and turning one’s eyes away in a confrontational situation is a proven body language that suggests guilt, discomfort, and avoidance of transparency.
If your man used to maintain eye contact before but suddenly does not anymore, he could be hiding a lot from you.
This is also one of those things that you just have to feel in your gut.
25. Changes in sexual appetite
Unless for health reasons, it seems very odd that your partner’s sexual appetite towards you should suddenly decrease.
If the sex isn’t all that great anymore, there are only two possible direct explanations.
Sex is one such activity that is regarded as highly enjoyable, and if there’s a sudden drop in his sex drive, his views towards sex, or just a general approach towards having sex with you, the problem can be more deep-rooted.
One of the reasons for this could be that they are physically or mentally tired for that moment, and the second could be that they are maybe having the appetite be met by another woman.
A lack of desire for someone exists when it is being fulfilled by another person.
26. Receiving calls in private
If he doesn’t like receiving phone calls when you’re around, gets a second phone connection, spends too much time on his phone, carries it around with him everywhere, makes sure you can never unlock his phone, keeps texting someone from it-
Chances are that he’s maybe glued on to someone who is not you, and could be spending all of his time on his phone talking to them.
27. Avoids overlapping groups
The world’s a small place. Every third person you know maybe knows another person whom you also know.
Especially in today’s age when the internet and phone are a necessity, it is very easy to figure out who’s related to whom and how.
In such a case, if your man avoids going out in groups just on the off chance that his groups could overlap and someone might maybe figure out that he’s dating someone too, then it’s one of the biggest signs that you need to look out for.
28. Finds excuses to stay outside
Chances are that if you’re not a psychopath, you won’t always keep tabs on your man. So when he says he’s going out, he’s free to do so and that’s welcome because he has his own life aside from being your better half.
But is he sharing extended periods of time outside nowadays with vague responses to what he’s doing outside for so long?
This is also one of the greatest signs that point towards him cheating.
29. Being on the edge with emotions
Very often, you will notice that he is on edge with these emotions, and his mood swings often make it very difficult for him to explain exactly what he’s feeling, to you.
Other times, he may deliberately not even want to. This is because of the existing emotional turmoil that he is undergoing with a lot of conflicting emotions arising from his moral beliefs.
If these aren’t signs, what are?
👉 Reasons Men Cheat on a Relationship 👈
- Insecurity and low self-esteem
- Unhappiness and dissatisfaction
- Poor communication skills
- Lack of confrontational abilities and cowardice
- Poor body image or aging concerns
- Commitment phobia
🖐 Cheating Questions to Ask your Boyfriend 🖐
- Did you ever feel guilty when you cheated on me?
- Are you in love with her?
- How long have you been with her?
- Did you ever talk about me?
- What is it that they have and I don’t?
- How do you see your future with them?
- When did you first think about cheating?
- Could we not have talked about this?
◼️ Long-Distance Relationship Cheating Signs ◼️
- He is often unreachable
- They try to pick fights
- They have a new friend you’ve never seen/ met with/ spoken to
- They suddenly look or dress differently
- There is a lack of intimacy or virtual sex
- They cancel plans very frequently
- They don’t flirt like they used to
- They give vague answers to difficult questions
❌ Catching your Boyfriend Cheating ❌
⏺ Collect evidence against them in secret
⏺ Change your plans without informing previously
⏺ Ask uncomfortable questions that are specific and answer-driven
⏺ Set up an ideal opportunity that prompts him to cheat
⏺ Go through his things
⏺ Go out in groups
⏺ Notice if his closest friends are compliant
⏺ If things come to it, hire a private investigator
🚧 Difference between Privacy and Security in a Relationship 🚧
Security is the freedom from potential harm by others while Privacy is an individual’s right to hide data about themselves and reveal it secretively as they like.
No relationship should have to be present in a situation where the partners have to infringe on the other’s privacy.
Such signs point towards an unhealthy relationship and that is not how things should ever be.
Although all of the signs listed above make a lot of sense and might even prove to be relatable to you as someone who’s in a relationship, it is also just as true that including just a couple of them are not a definite parameter of your partner cheating.
Several of these signs when put together contribute towards the possibility of your better half is cheating on you.
You should be considering these signs if and only if you have reason to believe that your better half is cheating on you and they have closed all avenues of open communication on the matter from their side.
At the same time, I feel like it is important to mention that no relationship gets immediately infected.
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There are a lot of factors that go into it and they are often observable at a normal pace by those two people in the relationship.
If basic issues within the relationship are not addressed, then that can lead to bigger problems such as infidelity.
❓ Relevant Questions ❓
Is he cheating or am I paranoid?
The difference between being reasonable and being paranoid is characterized by whether you’re displaying hyper-vigilance in your role as a girlfriend or a wife.
If you’re able to seek justification from him for your feelings, no matter irrational how they may appear, without creating any further problems between the two of you, then the relationship can be safeguarded and possibly even enriched.
But if he is not responding to your doubts, avoiding resolution, belittling your concerns, or just not going the extra mile to ensure that you feel at peace with this relationship, then he does not want to mend things and your assumptions about your insecurities of him cheating are probably true.
How to know your husband is remorseful of cheating?
It g hold themselves accountable and want to mend things from their end to ensure a smooth relationship.
Does by the rule that anyone who’s remorseful will indefinitely apologize to mend things, no matter how big or small the issue be.
Aside from this, good communicators will be openly expressive about what they think went wrong from their side and how they thought it wouldn’t be a big problem.
In an attempt to understand where the problem lies, a good man would want to also be a good listener to understand how you receive certain actions of his or how you interpret them to be.
They will always cope with being cheated on? Should I seek a marriage and family therapist?
As we have mentioned in several parts of this article, make sure you do not blame yourself for anything that happened.
Things will be more than unfavorable for a while because when someone close to us leaves us, it creates a void in our lives.
After wasting so much of our time, mind, and energy on someone who also ended up betraying us, leaves, there’s bound to be an extent of discomfort.
Make yourself your next priority in order to better embrace your reality.
Self-love should exist within everyone, even if they’re in a relationship.
As long as you take good care of yourself, nobody else can be responsible for your happiness.
Keep your calm, do not be scared, surround yourself with people you love, and take your social engagements slow.
And if needed, get professional help to get over this!
You’ve got this. Take good care!
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.