Dumb Little Man | Tips for Life

Are you driven in life? Do you love to excel? I believe all of us do. We are born to be the best we can be and to make the best out of our lives.

When I was in high school, I wasn't exactly the kind of student teachers would like. I was truant, didn't do my homework and did badly on my examinations. I was lazy and unmotivated in school. However, after a while I realized that this wasn't who I wanted to be. This wasn't the life I saw myself leading. People around me were judging and negative, and I had enough of all of that crap. I had enough of being discriminated against and I decided to turn everything around from then on.

So when I entered University, I began to get my act together. For the 3 years I was in Business School, I was on the Dean's List (an honor roll for the top students in the faculty). I eventually graduated as the top student in my specialization of marketing and was awarded with accolades for being the most outstanding student. When I started working, I entered one of the top companies for marketers, a Fortune 100 company, and led my business portfolios to record breaking results in the few years I worked there.

Then 2 years ago, I left my regular job to pursue my true passion in personal development. I started The Personal Excellence Blog where I share my best advice and help others achieve personal excellence and live their best lives. It has quickly established itself as a trusted and coming-to-age personal development blog, having 3-4k readers a day and being featured by prominent media, including CNN.com.

After years of striving for personal excellence, working with top people in their fields and observing top people in their fields, I realized that there are universal habits that enable people to achieve excellence. As Aristotle would put it, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”.

These habits aren't "ingrained", or "genetic"; they are habits that anyone like you and me can cultivate. Just like Stephen Covey's 7 habits will help anyone become highly effective, these 7 habits of highly excellent people will help anyone become excellent. I find that as long as anyone practices these habits, excellence is always a given. And I'm more happy to share with you these habits in this article today. Here they are:

1. Have the end in mind.
   This is the same habit as Stephen Covey's 1st habit, and with good reason. Everything starts with the end - the goal or the vision you want to fulfill. If you don't know what the end is, then there's no way of getting there, is there? Imagine getting into a cab. What do you first do when you get into the cab? Maybe you say hi to the taxi driver, then what? You tell the driver where you want to go, so that he can take you there. Similarly, you need to know what is the end you want to reach in order to get there.
   
   Hence, it's critical that you form clear goals of what exactly you want. What do you want? What is the end you envision? What are your personal goals and dreams for yourself? Personally, I have a vision board beside my bed where I have my dreams plastered over it. These dreams include developing The Personal Excellence Blog into one of the top personal development blogs, running my international personal excellence school, speaking to tens and thousands of people in seminars, achieving world peace, finding my soul mate, hitting the best seller's list with my books, and so on. These dreams remind me of what exactly I want and drive me forward every day.
   


2. Do what you love.
   When you do something you love, it's like you have unlimited fuel that keeps you going- day after day. The hunger to excel in it is just greater than if you do anything else. Every day, I'm endlessly driven to build and write at my blog, because it's for a cause I believe in. Helping people grow and live their best life is the one thing I know I want to be doing for the rest of my life.
   
   I have a coaching client who has tried to start 4-5 different ventures before (one at a time), and he was never able to succeed in any of them. Why was this the case? It wasn't that he was stupid, or that he was lazy. Ultimately, the reason was because he wasn't passionate about the things he was pursuing - he was just chasing money. The nature of the business didn't appeal to him emotionally. This is not to say starting businesses because you want to earn money is bad - all I'm saying is it's important that you love what you want to do first and foremost.
   
   What is it you love to do? If you are not sure what your passion is yet, then what is something you are most eager to try at the moment? If you can choose to do anything, what will it be? Your love and interest are fuels that will drive you towards excellence.
   


3. Work harder than anyone else.
   I don't know of anyone who has achieved excellent results who hasn't worked hard for them. A big component of excellence is hard work. Sheer, unadulterated hard work. We can streamline processes, choose effective strategies and steps, but ultimately the hard work will still have to come in. Fortunately, if you are doing what you love (step #2), work wouldn't even be work at all.
   
   In the past year since I set up The Personal Excellence Blog, I have spent countless hours, including weekends, building up the blog and writing high quality articles for readers out there. All these have paid off in their own way. I'm not saying you should abandon all social life because that defeats the purpose, but you will have to dedicate yourself to making your business a success. This year in 2010, I intend to increase my efforts even more compared to 2009, and I know it's going to pay off.
   


4. Make use of every moment.
   Every moment counts. Excellent people know that time is highly valuable. There's this quote by Donald Trump which I read in one of his books, and I absolutely love it. He said that time is more precious than money, because you can earn back money, but you can't get back time. That is absolutely true.
   
   Hence, I'm always making sure that I'm maximizing every moment. If I'm commuting over a distance, I'll pick up a book or listen to a podcast. If I'm out waiting for a friend, I'll take the chance to do something meaningful for the time being. If there are some pockets of time, I'll take out my laptop and do some work.
   
   Note that this habit doesn't mean working like a hog, 24x7. That wouldn't be a true application of this habit. Making use of every moment also refers to knowing when to rest and rejuvenate when it's needed, because this will help us walk the longer mile on the path of excellence.
   


5. Take action to achieve your results.
   Living a life of excellence means being a proponent of action. Many people often say "The sky is the limit". My personal philosophy is the sky isn't the limit; we are the limit. Whatever we do or don't do will determine how much we can grow or achieve. If we want to grow and achieve great results, we need to take the equivalent actions to reach the results we want.
   
   For example, many people agree that having press and media feature their business can greatly benefit them, but they believe it only happens when you are prominent enough. While that's usually true, I refuse to let that stop me. I took proactive steps to reach out to the press, writing my own press release and creating a strong story angle so the press would want to feature me. To date, I've been featured in the press for almost 20 times. To read more about how to be featured by the press, you can check out my guest post at Problogger: How To Get Featured By the Press (Repeatedly) Even If Your Blog is New.
   


6. Continuously upgrade yourself.
   Learning never stops. There is always something we can do to become better. We may have great skills and knowledge today, but no matter how great they may be, our skills need to be continuously developed. Excellent people are always learning, reading, exposing themselves to new knowledge, new people, new contexts and developing their skills. If you have played role-playing games or RPGs before, you would know that the characters need to be leveled up to get stronger and progress to the next level. Likewise, we need to always be leveling ourselves up to achieve excellence.
   


7. Ask for feedback.
   No matter how much we try to improve, we will have blind spots. Blind spots are things about ourselves that we don't know about, and we can't improve on things that we are blind to. Asking for feedback is one of the fastest and most effective ways to improve.
   
   For everything I do, I make it a point to gather feedback. For example, when I was in my previous job, I would often ask my manager and peers for feedback on how I could improve. With my friends, sometimes I would have a random feedback session with them on how I can do things better. As I run The Personal Excellence Blog, I would invite my readers to send in their feedback, either through comments, emails or private messages. Sometimes the feedback is predictable, sometimes it's not and many times it leads to an epiphany on some level.
   


8. Strive for #1 in what you do.
   ... Wait, you didn't think that there would just be 7 habits in achieving excellence, did you?
   
   There's 1 final habit to become a highly excellent person - that is, to strive for #1 in what you do. No one's going to achieve excellence if they aim for average, or mediocrity. Excellence comes from aiming for the top - being #1. This #1 should be better than whoever is #1 at the moment, because it will spur you on to work even harder. You will only achieve great results when you set high standards for yourself.
   
   For example, I aim for The Personal Excellence Blog to be the top personal development blog, both in terms of the quality of content and traffic. Whenever I write my articles, I make sure I'm giving the best value that can ever be offered in that topic. Because of this, readers recognize the value of my articles and have spread the word to their friends and family. This has helped the blog to grow quickly and establish itself as a trusted and coming-of-age blog in personal excellence.

Closing
These habits have helped me to achieve excellence in my life, and as long as all of us practice them, we will achieve excellent results. Feel free to share your comments - I'll love to hear what you have to say. If you have any questions, I'll love to answer them where possible too. I don't claim to have the answers, but I'll most certainly offer my perspective and help where I can.

Written on 4/24/2010 by Celestine Chua. Celes writes at The Personal Excellence Blog, where she shares her best advice on achieving personal excellence. Her blog is read by thousands a day and has been featured by CNN, Today, and other prominent media. Get her RSS feed here and add her on Twitter @celestinechua.

Photo Credit: Grégoire Lannoy

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Many people cringe as they approach the age of 30. For some reason, these milestones tend to get people thinking: Am I old? What should I have done differently? Am I really happy with this person I married?

Second guessing is normal and I don't have to remind you of the 20/20 hindsight rule. However, as I approach 30, I'm taking a different tact. I am viewing age as a positive simply because I have learned a ton of lessons that not only help define me, but will make future years enormously successful - emotionally, professionally, and socially.

Often times we don’t realize how powerful our lives can be until we reflect and share our experiences. That is why I took some time to write and submit this article; I want to reflect on my life and be sure to enjoy the lessons learned instead of regretting whatever outcomes I didn't like at the time.

So here goes!

• Life Lesson #1 – Let it go.
  Anger is never just anger. Anger is a cover up for fear, hurt, or disappointment. I can’t tell you the number of days I stressed myself out in my 20’s because I was angry at another person and did not want to forgive them. I literally made myself sick over it. The ironic thing about anger is that the joke is on the angry person. When you're angry, it hurts you more because you have to spend your precious time and energy holding on to negative energy. Sadly, that negative energy often blocks the positive energy from coming into your life. So let it go so that you can let that positive light in.
  
  Appreciate the person that you're angry with and learn to live with them the way they are. If someone is constantly upsetting you, appreciate the fact that you are strong enough to disassociate yourself from them. You don't need to stick around!


• Life Lesson #2 – It’s really not about you.
  When loved ones, co-workers, or even strangers say and do hurtful things, many times it is really not about you. People in this world have some serious issues. And, because they don’t deal with their issues, they project those issues onto you. The mother who thinks she is the worst mom will project and tell another mom how bad their kid is. The teen who thinks she is ugly will project and make fun of another teen. The boss who can’t manage his team will try to micromanage your work. So the next time someone does something hurtful to you, remember two things, they act like that towards other people as well, and it’s not about you!!


• Life Lesson #3 – Others have gone through the same problems that you have today.
  This is one I am still working on because I am a pretty private person. But I have to believe that when you go through things, one of the main reasons is to help others at one point and time through the same obstacle. The problem is that everyone wants to put on the mask that their life is grand, secretly hiding away any perfections. If no one knows your true journey, they can’t seek you out for help. It’s not an easy thing to do; it’s not like your Uncle Joe shouts out to everyone ‘Hey Everyone, I’m in foreclosure, now let’s eat.’ BUT, if he did, he would attract others that have been through the same experience, and could change a life for the better.


• Life Lesson #4 – Enjoy it now.
  As I look back at my last 29 years of life, there were so many special moments that came and went. I wish I would of sat back and enjoyed the moments more. Absorb the good times because they are the first things you forget.
  


• Life Lesson #5 – Power of Persistence
  There is something about the power of daily focused effort that seems to be a common theme in successful people. It’s the difference between ball players and NBA players, the difference between a writer and an author. While everyone else is watching TV the ‘persisters’ are making daily deposits towards the life of their dreams. Are you? When I look back, the times that I felt most accomplished were when I applied daily effort towards a goal and achieved it.


• Life Lesson #6 – I get it now when people talk about having passion as a requirement for excellence.
  If you want to excel as a fashion designer, working towards that goal should generally win over other other distractions. When presented with the opportunity to watch TV or hang out with friends instead of working to, if you constantly choose those distractions over working on fashion, you must consider that fashion is not your passion. I am not saying that you can't relax, but I'm saying that before you choose a life goal or a 'passion', be sure it's something that you, in your heart, really enjoy and love doing.
  


• Life Lesson #7 – Relationships can be your greatest teacher.
  I feel that everyone should do a lessons learned exercise after each relationship AND after every couple of years in a marriage. Each relationship is a reflection of yourself (whether good or bad). Subconsciously it’s a reflection of our deepest insecurities and needs. And if you really take the time to reflect the good or bad times, it is a window into your soul. Taking the time to review your past will be time well spent.


• Life Lesson #8– Don’t sleep on the power of the internet
  There are thousands upon thousands of people making a good amount of money online. The BEST thing about online business is that is has no face. So you can no longer say your being judged by your race, background, lack of a degree, etc. The internet levels the playing field. Quality content speaks louder than your religion, skin color, etc. Start looking into the power of it today.
  


• Life Lesson #9 – Don’t be a“put off’ person.
  I spent many years putting off things because I was waiting for the situation to get better or for 'something' to happen first. News Flash – I bet you can think of a hundred reasons to keep living how you are today and not changing; SOMETHING will always be in the way or be a reason to delay. Don’t put off your happiness. If you can do something that makes you happy today, without ruining the lives of others, then do it.


• Life Lesson #10 – What you say/write is your own lesson.
  As I write to you, I write to myself because what comes out of us either verbally or in the written form is often the thing very thing that we (ourselves) need to work on.

Thanks for taking the time to read. While I love the fact that I was able to share my outlook with the readers of DLM, this simple list has helped me put my life into perspective and it has raised my awareness to areas that I need to constantly work on. Where is your list? Is it only in your mind and easily forgotten and overridden?

Written by Nashunda Bolden. Nashunda doesn't have a website or anything to sell. She just wanted to share her life with us.

Photo Credit: Mr.Thomas

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Most of us need to exercise more. Being active isn’t just important when you’re trying to lose weight – exercising regularly also means you’ll have a decreased risk of heart disease, diabetes, strokes and even some cancers.

Perhaps you’ve tried getting into exercise in the past, but you always find yourself slipping back into your old habits. You might manage to get to the gym three times a week at first, but soon, you’re back to going a couple of times a month at best.

But you’re not lazy and you don’t lack willpower. All you need is an exercise routine that will actually work.

Here’s how:

Your Routine Needs to Suit You
Even if you played a lot of sport in college, you might struggle to exercise today. That’s because your lifestyle’s changed: you may have kids, a busy job, even a health condition that makes it tough to do certain types of exercise.

Your routine needs to work for you. Don’t feel that you have to stick to some “perfect” exercise plan from a magazine; instead, find ways to incorporate exercise into your life with as little disruption to your day as possible. That might mean working out in your lunch break, or walking/cycling to your workplace, instead of trying to get to the gym at 6pm.

Don't Shoot for the Moon
When you’re fired up for a new goal, it’s tempting to go all-out in pursuit of it. When it comes to exercise, though, you need to start small and gradually build up. If you try to run for an hour every day having never run before, you’re (a) going to get discouraged when you only manage five minutes and (b) likely to injure yourself.

Any exercise is better than none. Try starting with just 5 - 10 minutes of cardio activity, and add a little more every week. For moderate-intensity activity (the kind that burns fat and keeps you healthy), a good rule of is that you should be working hard enough that you can’t sing the words to a song, but you can hold a conversation.

Have a Minimum Target and Ideal Target
However motivated you are, there’ll be days when nothing seems to go right. Perhaps you’ve got a cold, or you’re really busy at work, or you forgot your exercise kit when you hurried out of the house in the morning.

This is when a minimum target comes in handy. Perhaps you’d ideally like to do a total of 40 minutes cardio, plus some weight training: but you’ll settle for a minimum of 20 minutes cardio.

You can still check off your exercise for the day, meaning you won’t end up thinking “I’ve failed, so I might as well just give up now.”

Track Your Workouts
Keep a record of your exercise. That could mean writing down brief details of what you did during each session, and how you felt afterwards, or it might simply mean putting a check (or a gold star if you want!) on your calendar.

Keeping track helps you stay motivated: if you can see an unbroken string of days when you managed to exercise, you’ll be loath to break the pattern. You may also spot patterns emerging: perhaps you find it tough to exercise at the weekends, for instance.

Switch it Around
Don’t get stuck in a rut with your exercise. If you always use the same cardio machine at the gym and always lift the same weights, you’ll find yourself getting bored. You may also run into problems if your favorite machine isn’t available, or if you can’t get to the gym at all.

Try out new types of exercise every few weeks. That might mean going for a jog, cycling, swimming, dancing ... anything new. As well as stopping you from getting bored, and helping to make your routine flexible, this also ensures that you keep getting fitter (if you do just one type of exercise, your body will eventually adapt to it, and you won’t see such good results).

Are you trying to get into a regular exercise routine? Share your tips – or your struggles – in the comments below.

Written on 1/24/2012 by Ali Luke. Ali is a writer of fiction and non-fiction and a writing coach. She blogs about writing on her site, Aliventures.com, and has a free ebook "How to Find Time For Your Writing" available when you join her writing newsletter here.

Photo Credit: Joe M500

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One of the most important rules of happiness in life is to do what you love. But discovering that dream job and what you are meant to do in life isn't always so easy.

Take a look at the happiest, most successful people on this planet: they are all doing something they love, creating something they believe in, living a life of purpose and passion. Do that, and it doesn't matter how much money you make.

But what do you do if you don't know what you want to do? If you don't know what your dream is? This is a common problem, and many people wander through much of their life without discovering their passion, and go from job to job, unfulfilled and miserable.

If that's you, don't give up. What follows is a list of suggestions that will help you discover your dream, and start on the road to living that dream. They're things that have worked for me and many others I've studied, talked to, interviewed and admired.

While you don't need to do every step below, they are all ways for your to spend time thinking about your passion in life, your dreams, and how to accomplish them. If you spend time thinking about your dreams, you are taking the first step towards making them a reality.

The first step is to give this stuff some thought.

1. What are your hobbies? This doesn't just mean stamp collecting -- it means anything you do with your spare time. That could be collecting comic books, reading about history, programming Linux utilities, writing on your blog, writing poetry, cooking, whatever. As it's clear that this is how you like to spend your time, and that you're willing to do these things without pay, it's very possible that these are your passions. Give each of your hobbies some thought, and think about whether they're things you love to do, and that you'd love to do for a living.


2. What are your talents? It's been said that we each have at least one gift we've been given, and that the true purpose of our lives is discovering that gift, and sharing it with the world. There is much truth in that statement, and an important part of this process is discovering your gift. What are you good at? What talents do you have? What have you shown an aptitude for in your current and previous jobs, in school, in your personal life? Anything goes here.


3. Who do you like to work with? A dream job includes not only what you want to do, but who you are doing it with. You should truly enjoy working with these people. In this step, you can name specific people you love working with, or types of people (creative types, programmers, entrepreneurs, blue collar, etc.). Use your ideas here to help you envision your dream job (more on that below).


4. What do you like to work with? The tools of the job are very important. If you love working with computers (even a specific type of computer), that's a clue to your dream job. If you love working with clay, or paper, or people, or clothes, that's a clue. If you like working with a hammer, or a piano, you're off to a great start in discovering your dream.


5. What environment do you enjoy working in? An office, a college, a classroom, a construction site, the ocean, the forest? Where you work is also an important factor in your dream job.


6. When have you been happiest? Think back throughout all the previous times of your life, from childhood through adolescence, school, different jobs, different areas, different hobbies. Think about the happiest times of your life, and what you were doing, who you were doing it with, and where you were doing it. You may have dismissed some of these things for various reasons, but remembering that you were extremely happy during those times can make you realize why you were happy.


7. Try online tools. There are some great tools online for helping you find your purpose. Here are just a few of my favorites:
   
   
   
   • 43 Things: A great way to see what goals others have, to list your own goals, to talk to others about common goals, to get ideas and inspiration. Also see their article, How to Choose Achievable Goals.
     
   
   
   • Dreamminder. A site where you write down your dream, and it will send it to you at some point in the future. Use their dream wizard to discover your dream. Read the dreams of others to get inspired.
     
   
   
   • One Question: Take a test with questions to figure out your one purpose in life. With articles to help as well.
     


8. List your top 5 passions. Now that you've given various factors some thought, and tried some online tools, make a short list of your top 5 passions. If you don't have 5, list as many as you have. Then compare your top 5 passions, and rank them from top to bottom. This will be the starting point your guide to making your dream a reality.


9. How can you turn your passions into your work? Of the top 2-3 passions on your short list, can any of them be turned into your life's work? What professions use those passions as a mainstay of their work? How would you get into those professions, and do you think you would love what you do if you did them?


10. Create a clear vision. Clarity of vision is the key to achieving your dream once you've discovered it. Take some time to think about exactly what your dream is, what your dream job would be, how you see yourself doing it, where you are, what you're surrounded by, who you're working with, what tools you're using, the benefits to you and others. Write it down, and try to make it as clear as possible. You should be able to visualize this dream in your head. The more real it seems in your mind, the more likely it is that it will become reality.


11. Create a roadmap. Once you've clearly pictured your destination, what's left is creating a map for getting to that destination. Try backwards planning: what's the last step you'd have to do before attaining your goal? What would the last step be before that step? Keep going backwards until you get to the first step. Then focus all your efforts on that first step.


12. Brainstorm. Sometimes there are more than one road to get to a destination. Brainstorm a bunch of ideas for getting there, a bunch of actions you can take to move yourself closer to your destination. Then put them together into your roadmap. Even if you don't have a complete roadmap, having a clearly defined destination, and taking the first step, are enough to get you started.
    


13. Do research. Learn as much as you can about your dream. Check out some books from the library, do some web surfing, talk to others who are knowledgeable. Become an expert on the topic.


14. How are others doing it? Find others who are living your dream. Read about them, write to them, meet with them. Find out what steps they took to get there, what's required, how they did it. Then use that information for your roadmap.


15. Practice, practice. While you're taking your steps to realizing your dream, practice your passion as much as possible. Practice, of course, makes perfect ... and you want to be as good at what you want to do as humanly possible. This isn't an easy step, but it's worth it.


16. Get inspired. Find others who are trying to achieve the same dream, see what obstacles they've face and how they've overcome them. Put up photos from magazines to inspire you. Read motivational quotes. If you're inspired, you will have the energy needed to get there.


17. Get motivated. Along those lines, find motivation to keep you on your path. Motivation and focus are the keys to achieving any goal. What are your motivations? Making a public commitment, setting up rewards, inspiring yourself, tracking your progress, and joining a support group or finding a partner are great ways to motivate yourself.


18. Simplify: one purpose. Once you've defined your dream, focus on it completely. That means you need to put any other goals on the back burner for now, and have only one purpose in your life. Later, you can focus on other goals, but if you have multiple goals, you will become distracted and lose purpose. Focus. Simplify your life so that you are keeping your focus on that one thing.
    


19. Use a mantra. A great way to keep yourself focused is to use Guy Kawasaki's idea of creating a mantra instead of a mission statement. Boil your goal down to a few words. Guys' mantra: empower entrepreneurs. What's yours? Once you've defined your mantra, print it out, post it up, and say it several times a day.


20. Set aside time each day. You will not go anywhere if you don't devote time to your dream. Set aside an hour (or at least 30 minutes) each day for working towards your dream. If you can do more, great, but one step at a time is all it takes. Set aside time either in the morning, or in the evening, or some time when you know you will do it every day. Make it a habit, and you will succeed.


21. Pretend you can't fail. Imagine that you cannot fail, that you may slip up and fall, but that you will get up and learn from that fall. Take away all fear of risk and loss, and believe in your success. Now act as if you cannot fail. And by acting so, you will make it happen.


22. Live as you want to be remembered. How do you want to be remembered when you die? This is a common method for deciding how to live your life. If you want to remembered for realizing your dream, then don't start on it when it's too late. Start on it now. Live your life so that your dream actually comes true.
    

Written for Dumblittleman.com on 06/07/2007 by Leo Babauta and republished on 1/20/12. Leo offers advice on living life productively simple at his famous Zen Habits blog.

Photo Credit: whatimom

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Is your mindset secretly ruining your life?

And if so, is there a way to fix it?

Michael Jordan wasn’t considered the best basketball player of all time when he was starting out. In fact, he was cut from his varsity team when he was a sophomore. Instead of giving up, Jordan became even more determined, and spent hours upon hours practicing on the court and improving his skills.

When people look back, they say it was obvious that he was an amazing basketball player, but hindsight is always 20/20. What made the difference was his mindset, and what will make the difference in your life is your mindset.

The Two Mindsets: Fixed vs Growth
In her book, MindSet: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck introduces two different mindsets: the fixed mindset, and the growth mindset. The fixed mindset puts their emphasis on talent. They avoid challenges, because they believe each failure reflects on who they are as a person, so they never want to “look bad.”

This leads to excuses, blaming, and defensiveness whenever feedback is given or something goes wrong. It halts learning and leads to anything but success.

The growth mindset on the other hand focuses on learning, effort, and working hard. People with the growth mindset focus on learning from their mistakes, they claim responsibility and they constantly strive to improve.

Are You Stuck in the Fixed Mindset?
So, how do you know if you’re stuck in the fixed mindset? You’ll know because you avoid challenges, you give up when things aren’t going right, and you think thoughts such as “I’m just not good at this, so I might as well give up.”

It’s the belief that you should be great instantly and that you cannot improve or get better by effort, so what’s the point in trying. Growth minded people experience frustration, but they keep moving forward and doing their best. They aren’t perfect, they just realize it takes time to get better.

What About Context?
You can have a growth mindset in one context, such as learning, but have a fixed mindset in another context, such as social situations.

For example, you may believe that you can get better at anything if you apply yourself and study. But when it comes to social situations, you’re stuck being the shy and awkward. Now, does this mean that you can magically become outgoing and energetic? Maybe not, but it does mean that you can improve and get better.

Carol Dweck discovered that shy people with the growth mindset were just as nervous as the fixed mindset people, but they saw it as a challenge and an opportunity to grow.

They had fun and they improved, while the fixed mindset people accepted their seemingly bad luck and tried to avoid social situations altogether.

Can You Change Your Mindset?
If you’re stuck in the fixed mindset, you probably believe that mindsets cannot be changed, and that’s when a change will help you the most.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Change is possible, but it happens slowly (in most cases). The first step is to become aware of how your mindset is holding you back; notice where you want to avoid challenges, criticism, and feedback.

Then start looking at how you can begin to improve. If you want to do work you love, it happens one step at a time. Most people never start because they don’t know exactly where to go, but the truth is that you don’t have to know, you just have to start now.

You’ll get better, smarter, and faster.

Does This Mean Talent Doesn’t Exist?
Denying talent would be foolish. Some people are naturally better than others, but mere talent does not guarantee success. Many who have been talented have not been willing to put in the effort to improve, while many that haven’t had talent have worked hard and gone onto become world class. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to become world class. What it does mean is that you can go after your dreams. But know that it will take hard work. However, the harder you work, the more you learn, and the more you learn, the closer you get to your dreams.

There are no shortcuts and no quick-fixes, so start learning today.

Written on 1/15/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).

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No wonder listening is an undervalued art. Research shows that we speak at a rate of about 125 words per minute, yet we have the capacity to listen to approximately 400 words per minute. So what are we doing with that extra space in our minds when someone else is talking? Are we really listening?

I have a friend who used to multitask when we spoke on the phone. He would respond appropriately to what I was saying, but I could hear him shuffling papers or trying to quietly order food at the deli (yes, this actually happened). Even though he was following the conversation, I felt bereft as I was sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings. Fortunately, our friendship was more important than his to-do list, and now I happily get his full attention.

Listening is essential to fulfilling relationships. If you are experiencing challenging interactions or you want your connections to deepen, reflect on how you can improve your listening skills. The benefits? Consider the following:

• People will feel be more drawn to you; they will like you more.
  
• You will learn something new.
  
• You will solve problems more effectively.
  
• You will experience less loneliness and frustration.
  
• You will feel happier and more relaxed.

Learn to listen well, and watch all your relationships thrive. Here's how.

1. Pay attention
   Since our brains have the capacity to process 275 more words per minute than are actually spoken, we tend to fill up the void with extraneous thoughts. Notice how when someone is speaking, you are partially listening, while simultaneously planning the rest of your day, replaying a meeting that just occurred, or deciding what you will say next. Paying attention is the cardinal rule for good listening. Hear the words, and let their meaning in. If your mind wanders, simply re-focus your attention on the conversation.


2. Be receptive
   If you show up with an agenda, you are not going to be available to fully hear what the other person is saying. There is no problem with having goals for an interaction, but let them go while the other person is speaking so you can hear what is being expressed. Balance your need for a given outcome with your desire to sustain a harmonious relationship.


3. Check your understanding
   Make sure you can repeat what you just heard, and if you can't, ask for clarification. You might be surprised at how much you are missing. Most people are. When you think you've gotten it, you might say, “So what you are saying is....” to verify your understanding.


4. Be an explorer
   Explorers are open and curious. They are inquisitive, without knowing what they will find. So what to do with all of that excess brain power? Focus on the speaker. Notice body language, tone of voice, and rate of speaking. Then look beneath the words to see what feelings and needs are being communicated. You never know what you might find.


5. Show interest
   If you find yourself bored and distracted, reconnect with the interaction. Maintain eye contact, uncross your arms, and ask questions that take the conversation deeper. Find out what really matters to the person you are speaking with.


6. Be patient
   As much as you may be tempted, don't speak over someone who is talking. When you feel the urge to step in, take a breath, let your agenda go, and continue to listen. If you need to move the conversation along, do so politely, as in, “Excuse me, I'm so sorry for interrupting, but ….” Likewise, be careful not to jump to conclusions or assume you know what hasn't yet been said. These are all signs that your inner explorer has fallen asleep. Revitalize your experience by paying attention to what is happening in the moment.


7. Get out of a rut
   Have you ever had the same problematic conversation with someone over and over? Bring a fresh perspective to the relationship by redoubling your efforts to listen. Let go of your need to be right or your ideas about what the other person should be saying or doing, and hear them as if for the first time. This moves you from contraction and limit to possibility and potential simply by listening.
   
   Effective listening develops empathy, which is the capacity for a deep understanding of another's experience. And isn't that what it takes for a relationship to thrive? It's as simple as paying attention.

How has better listening affected your relationships? I'd love to hear your questions, insights, and stories.

Written on 9/24/2009 by Gail Brenner, Ph.D. Gail offers practical wisdom for clarity, freedom, and happiness on her blog, A Flourishing Life, focusing on real solutions for self-defeating habits. Republished on 1/10/2012.

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I recently wrote an article on how to deal with confusion, and it seems like there are a lot of people going through this right now, so I thought I’d expand on the topic. This is a topic I hold near and dear to my heart, because just this past year, I’ve gone through a lot of confusion, conflict, and growth within myself.

In the end it has led me to a significantly better place. I’m happier, more at peace, and even more able to handle the confusion ahead.

It still isn’t easy, but it’s easier, much easier. When you stop fighting, you stop suffering.

• Addiction
  One of the reasons people have addictions is because they experience pain and they want to escape.
  
  While confusion is not the only pain they experience, it is certainly one of them. This doesn’t have to mean drug habits, it could be eating, watching TV, playing video games, and anything else that you feel the need to escape to in order to numb your pain.
  
  The good news is that you can change. Research has now shown that your brain works like a muscle. When you stop feeding one habit, it slowly starts withering away, even if you try and fail over and over again.
  


• Denial
  I’m sure you know people who are in complete denial about what they have to do. You clearly see what they need to do, but they don’t.
  
  Sometimes you have to allow people to have their own experiences, but you also have to notice how you yourself go into denial. We have an easy time looking at others and seeing what’s wrong, but the truly challenging part is looking inside.


• Poor Me
  I used to be great at feeling like I was the victim, and that the world was against me. Luckily for me, I’ve let go of a lot of that.
  
  There’s still some left that needs to dealt with, but I’m okay with taking one step at a time. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about constant improvement.
  
  Kaizen.
  
  Do you go into poor-me-mode when you don’t know what to do, or what your future looks like? What would happen if you just made peace with confusion and uncertainty as states of being? Where did you learn that it’s bad to not know?


• Thought Loops
  Thought loops is what I call it when you lie down and start playing movies in your head of everything that can go wrong. This seems more likely to happen when you feel confused and uncertain than at any other time, because if you don’t know what will happen, it will probably be bad, right?
  
  What most people forget is that uncertainty opens up the field of possibility. And another crucial part is that even if something bad happens, how do you know that it isn’t exactly what you need to get what you want in the end?
  
  You just can’t know, so you might as well accept it.


• Grasping
  The more you can allow uncertainty and confusion to be, the better off you will be, because it is a time of learning on a deeper level than just your conscious mind. Each time you do this, you become more comfortable with it, and you notice that you don’t have to know everything all the time. You realize that it is through confusion and uncertainty that new growth happens, because if you want certainty, you are only reliving the past.
  
  In the end, we all want uncertainty (and confusion), but we don’t know it yet.
  
  So step boldly where you have never gone before, and, dare I say, enjoy it!

Written on 1/07/2012 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).

Photo Credit: Benjamin Féron

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Do you feel like you can’t lose weight because you struggle with cravings?

Has a gnawing, insatiable want hijacked your healthy eating plan?

Chocolate, candy, potato chips, pizza, steak, coffee, ice-cream, salt or what have you —most of us battle these cravings.

But we don’t have to.

Are you ready to defeat them? If so let's dive in and reveal what you can do to conquer your dangerous moments without regret.

• Drink, Drink, Drink
  First off, if you’re dehydrated, you’re likely to feel wiped out. When you’re pooped liked that, chances are you’ll be craving a stimulant in the form of sugar or caffeine - think chocolate or coffee.
  
  So drink a glass of water — yes, plain water. By the time your body tells you you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated. And, dehydration occurs as mild hunger. So… glug, glug, glug and make it a habit to drink a glass of water every couple hours.
  


• Why You Need to Sleep More
  If you’re majorly stressed, or suffer from insomnia or sleep deprivation, you’re probably exhausted much of the time.
  
  I know about this; believe me! It took seven years and an entire collection of My Little Pony before my daughter slept through the night. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture — don’t underestimate it.
  
  Adrenal imbalance causes your body to call upon your adrenal glands for more stress hormones to act as a pick-me-up, but over time, your adrenals become less able to respond appropriately. Chances are, you’ll resort to sugar or carbohydrate snacks or coffee during the day and carbohydrates or alcohol at night, all of which exacerbate the problem.
  
  I seriously recommend finding a way to chill and give your adrenals a break. I’ve found meditation and exercise such as yoga to be a blessing. A hectic cardio workout is not going to help here. Keep it on the calm side.
  


• The Shocking Truth About Boredom and Dissatisfaction
  Being bored or dissatisfied with a particular situation, such as work or a cruddy relationship, or life in general, is the number one cause for filling up on undesirables.
  
  “The longing for sweets is really a yearning for love or sweetness,” wrote Jungian analyst Marion Woodman and she was spot on. So often we try to fill the void with eating. Instead, take time to reflect and assess what’s really going on.
  
  Dr. Oz suggests that it helps to realize that emotional hunger onset is sudden and urgent, while physical hunger is gradual and patient.
  
  Fully facing this kind of eating may lead to some serious soul searching. You may want to consult someone if it becomes overwhelming. But when food is masking a deeper dissatisfaction, no amount of the fix will take away the pain or frustration. Work on healing that and then the cravings will naturally disappear.
  


• How to Change Bad Habits
  Psychology professor Debra Zellner, Ph.D., draws the conclusion that our cravings are predominantly determined by habit rather than biological need.
  
  You know how you fall back to habit in times of stress rather than creatively brainstorming fresh approaches? Well the same is true here. When you’re stressed, she argues, your generally strong restraint flies out the window and thoughts about comfort foods come rushing in.
  
  So how do we avoid this stress trigger cycle? According to Zeller, we should:
  
  • Indulge on occasion: By making certain foods “taboo,” we tend to make a dash for them when our defenses are shot. The alternative is to have that chocolate once in a while and de-demonize it. Enjoy a bowl of ice cream now and then. Don’t associate certain foods with the ‘forbidden fruits.’
    
  
  
  • Mix up your patterns: Just as with Pavlov’s dogs, Zeller continues, a stimulus produces an automatic, virtually involuntary response in each of us. Figure out if predictable times or places make your cravings appear. Then, change your indulgence time and place, shake up the predictable and don’t create a mindless pattern.
  
  
  • Make healthy associations: Find healthy foods that you enjoy and make a habit of eating those at stressful times instead. For me, I’ve trained myself to crunch on cucumbers. Granted, we always need to have cucumbers in the house, but it definitely beats chocolate!
• A Little Bit of Yin and a Little Bit of Yang
  Ever heard of Macrobiotics? Well, key to this philosophy on life is the idea of Yin and Yang, two complementary and antagonistic forces. Before you think this is some new age concept, know that Hippocrates first used this philosophy in 400 BC to describe healthy, long lived people.
  
  In terms of food, certain foods, such as meat, chocolate, cheese and coffee have contractive or Yang qualities. Other foods, like beer, white sugar, soya and potatoes, have expansive or Yin qualities. And then foods like whole grains and veggies have a neutral effect on the body.
  
  The body naturally strives for balance. Without one iota of doubt, what passes through your lips contributes to where your body’s at and what it’s going to need more of. When you’re eating too much Yin or too much Yang, your system won’t be happy. And hello, these extremes are the core of the Standard American Diet. Loads of meat, salt, sugar and fats.
  
  They throw the body out of its natural balance and we crave whatever is required to regain equilibrium. Sadly though, we’re putting in excessive amounts on either side of the scale.
  
  By paying attention to what you’re eating in overload and introducing more balancing foods, cravings will decrease. Remember, the key is balance — not excess.
  


• Are You Malnourished?
  For me, malnutrition has always been associated with the image of a starving African pot-bellied child. Painful. And don’t get me wrong, that’s certainly malnutrition.
  
  But did you know how malnourished most of us “First Worlders” are? An estimated 70% of all Americans do not consume sufficient nutrients, mainly as a result of refined and processed foods.
  
  Why do I mention this? If the body is starved of nutrients, it will produce cravings.
  
  Renowned physician, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, states that in order to stop the “addictive drives and perverted cravings” we suffer from, it is essential to restore nutritional excellence.
  
  We need to eat a diet high in what he calls Nutrient Dense foods such as green veggies, non-starchy veggies, beans, fresh fruits, whole grains and raw nuts and seeds.
  
  The toxins in our processed fare just keep us coming back for more and so you need to oust them!
  


• Temptation Be Gone
  Clearly, if you’ve stocked up on your favorite indulgence, you’ll eat it. Corollary: if it’s not there, you can’t eat it.
  
  That one’s easy! Banish the temptation. And oh, never go shopping on an empty stomach. A full tummy is less prone to rumble for honey — with apologies to Pooh bear.
  


• Spew It All Out
  My final tool for you here is to keep a food journal. Track your eating habits and see if your cravings exhibit a pattern. With this information, you’ll be in a far better position to understand and help yourself.
  

The Final Word
Cravings aren’t the enemy. In fact, they can be a gift - a window into what’s ticking in your internal clock. By opening a dialogue with your body, you can begin to love and support it just as it supports and loves you with every unfailing heartbeat and every unfailing breath.

But that’s entirely up to you. Changing behaviors is work. No, it’s not like reinventing the wheel or finding a cure for cancer. But it does take commitment and facing some harsh challenges.

If you’re still reading this, that’s a good sign. Nobody can or will make the changes for you. Beating your cravings is the same as anything else. You have to be focused and work damn hard. Oftentimes you’ll need courage too. If you’re prepared to face the challenge, your health will improve and you’ll lose that excess weight. You’ve also got an excellent chance of feeling more whole if you confront the psychological aspects of what’s driving your behavior.

Ready to tackle the task?

Written on 1/05/2012 by Kerri Baruch. Kerri is a Holistic Health Coach passionate about restoring excellent health in clients by supporting them as the full individuals that they are. Kerri shares recipes, blogs and Health Coaching info on her site Eat Real. Be Well.

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Is your mind playing tricks on you and robbing you of your happiness?

Our minds are complex and are often our own worst enemies when it comes to being happy. Really. Our own brains that we know and love deceive us into thinking something is right when it is really wrong, that we're in love when we're not, etc. Recognizing and debunking these traps your mind leads you into is essential to realizing a lasting happiness, into creating stronger relationships, and to succeeding in your career.

Check out this list to see if you are being deceived by your own mind! I'd be willing to bet that you have been.

1. I'd be happier if I just had less to do
   Our minds often try to trick us into thinking we'd be happier if we didn't have to work. We imagine a life of leisure and deceive ourselves into thinking this kind of lifestyle would make us happy. However, the truth is that idleness often leads to boredom and depression. We are industrious, creative beings. We need challenge and accomplishment to be happy. Get up and invest yourself into something significant and you will find that your happiness factor will rise!
   


2. It's not me, it's you
   Many times our minds lead us to believe we are unhappy due to our spouse, parents or some other person in our lives. We throw blame around like food in a middle school cafeteria. Of course, it takes two to tango. As Dr. Phil asks, "How's that workin' for ya?" Generally, we are as much, if not more, to blame than others in our lives. We need to accept responsibility for our situation and do our part to make the best of it. Taking personal responsibility for our actions is the beginning of true happiness.


3. I just need to discover the secret to success to be happy
   I am convinced that there are no "secrets" to happiness or success. As much as authors, publishers and our own minds would like to convince us that shortcuts exist, they do not. Living a successful life is pretty simple. You create a vision for the future, formulate a strategy and then work hard to achieve it. There are no shortcuts or secrets to this formula. Accepting this will get you much further down the path to happiness than anything else.
   


4. If I just had...
   Our minds deceive us into thinking we'll be happy when we get the right job or the right house or the right car or whatever. There is nothing wrong with wanting better things or circumstances, but these do not automatically make us happy. They may create a temporary high, but this quickly wears off. Those wanting a lasting happiness must acknowledge that this is a bottomless pit that we can never fill.


5. I like things just the way they are and never want them to change
   Believing this is just letting yourself be set up for a fall. Life is a journey of constant change. Some of which we control and some we don't. Resisting change or trying to control the change out of life is self-defeating. It will drain you and rob you of your happiness. Change is inevitable. You must accept this and learn to go with the flow. Being adaptable is very important to your happiness.
   


6. If it hasn't happened yet for me, it never will
   Our minds often get discouraged and disillusioned when success is just around the corner for us. Colonel Sanders didn't start franchising his KFC restaurants until he was 65, forty years after he started serving chicken at his service station. Perseverance is very important in achieving happiness. Never let your mind trick you into giving up. You don't know what tomorrow holds. One more day may be all it will take to realize your dream!


7. I'll just avoid the things I don't like doing
   It is usually the difficult tasks that our minds try to trick us into avoiding. Unfortunately, these are oftentimes the very things that would result in the greatest rewards for us. What do you put off doing? Why? Procrastination and avoidance of completing important tasks or resolving nagging issues only delays your march to happiness. Attack these head-on and you will find a deep sense of gratification that will fuel your happiness.
   


8. The world is scary and something bad might happen to me
   Our minds tell us there are a lot of things beyond our control. For instance, the way that crime and terror is sensationalized on television might lead us to think that bad guys are lurking around every corner waiting to do dastardly deeds to us. However, crime rates have actually fallen in recent years. According to FBI statistics, violent crime is lower now than it was 20 years ago! Fear is a powerful emotion our brains use to get the better of us. We must seek and trust the facts to break free and be happy!


9. I'll decide when I know for sure what to do
   Over-thinking every decision will leave you stymied. Weighing the risks, analyzing the possibilities and making a plan are important, but nothing ever happens until a decision is made and action is taken. We very rarely have perfect information when making choices. Stop sweating it so much! Failure is not the end of the world. Napoleon Hill writes, "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." Don't let your mind trap you into over-analyzing everything!


10. I know I shouldn't , but
    Our minds try to trick us into denying the effects of our bad habits and rationalizing our behavior with flimsy excuses. This seems especially common with health issues. For example, have you heard someone say, "I know I shouldn't smoke, but it helps me keep the weight off." Or, how about, "I know I shouldn't eat this, but life just isn't worth living if I can't enjoy it." A major health issue like cancer, heart disease, or diabetes will certainly challenge your happiness. Don't let your mind get away with this trick!


11. Dreams only come true for those that are lucky
    Thomas Jefferson said, "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." Our minds will sometimes trick us into thinking we are victims of fate. They will lead us to believe "nothing good ever happens to me". What our brains credit as the luck of others, generally is the result of years of practice, hard work and preparation. Pursue your dream with your whole heart and you might be surprised at the "luck" that comes your way.


12. I could never
    Our brains often trick us into thinking we can't. For example, have you heard, "I could never go back to school. I don't have the money." or "I can't learn to do that. I'm too old." Don't fall for this trick! Your mind is very persuasive in the way it uses this one. It will lead you around like a dog on a leash if you let it. You are full of potential and although your circumstances might add a degree of difficulty, it is nothing that a little persistence and ingenuity can't overcome. Henry Ford said, "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
    Don't let these tricks steal your happiness!

See how our minds play tricks on us? If you identified with one or more of the cons on this list, don't despair! The truth will set you free! You now have the power to overcome these deceptions because you can see right through them. Enjoy your new found happiness!

Written on 6/03/2009 by Jeff Nickels. Jeff is on a quest to live life to its fullest every day. He writes about his journey regularly on MySuperChargedLife.com. You can also follow Jeff on Twitter. Republished on 1/04/2012.

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Personal development gurus tell some impressive lies in order to sell their products. That’s right. Lies. These convenient little falsehoods are effective motivators because they play on primal human needs and emotions. Shouldn’t people who promote personal growth for a living be uncommonly straightforward in their marketing? Sadly, this is far from true, even among the popular names in the field.

The good news is that once you understand these, you are free to grow and develop in realistic ways.

• Guru Lie #1: You can have anything you want.
  It sounds so good, especially after you have been swept away by a motivational message that ignites your passion for becoming all you can be. You can do anything you put your mind to! There is only one problem. You can’t. You cannot have anything you want in life. When it comes down to it, this lie is so blatant that it is downright silly.
  
  In high school I was a gifted tennis player with dreams of playing in college and taking my shot at the pros. I lived, breathed and dreamed tennis. I’m not sure I have ever wanted anything more than to play tennis for a living. Then my shoulders went bad. One rotator-cuff injury lead to another and before long my dreams slipped away. My body wasn’t up for it, so I never even had a chance to defy the one in a million odds of hitting the pro circuit. That’s life.
  
  That is life. You don’t always get what you want and there are many desirable things that lie eternally outside the sphere of possibility. I want to go to the moon. I want to protect my teenagers from every lurking danger in life (as they go about pursuing those very dangers). I’ll never play basketball like Michael Jordan or write like Shakespeare. I don’t have those gifts.
  
  This is actually good news. If you set out to accomplish something totally realistic like starting a new business or getting a promotion or losing 10 pounds or being a better partner, you will be much more likely to achieve it. And there are more wonderful, realistic things to accomplish than you can possibly get around to in a lifetime.
  


• Guru Lie #2: Change is easy.
  I’m not suggesting that change is necessarily difficult. It just needs to be looked at from a different perspective, like this one: All change requires sacrifice. That line doesn’t make for good sales copy though, does it? Nevertheless, it is true. Sometimes the sacrifice is relatively easy, which makes it less noticeable. At other times the required sacrifice is overwhelming. If I want to lose weight, I need to give up the donuts. If I want to stop arguing, I need to quit indulging my temper. If I want to improve my financial situation, I will need to spend less (sacrificing whatever I was spending more on) or make more money (sacrificing my time and energy doing whatever that takes).
  
  Even when change is merely a matter of learning new skills, it still requires sacrifice. If I want the job promotion that requires additional training, I need to get that training and sacrifice the time, money and effort necessary. Is it worth it? Of course! It may be even be fun. Sacrifices are only labeled as such when they are difficult.
  
  What do you need to sacrifice in order to get what you want? The more willingly you sacrifice, the greater the chance of success. This approach doesn’t sell as many books (as a study of the history of book sales will reveal) but it puts readers in a position to actually succeed.
  


• Guru Lie #3: Mastery comes quickly.
  My expertise lies in the realm of interpersonal communication. I have spent 25 years studying how the mind works and how people relate to each other. In that time I’ve mastered quite a few concepts and put them into practice. I see things about people and situations that untrained eyes are blind to. It is fair to say that I have developed a degree of mastery.
  
  It came slowly but surely over years, two steps forward and one step back. I didn’t take a crash course. I took dozens of crash courses, several long-term programs and a decade-long mentorship. I tell people who want to become masters of interpersonal communication that they need to be willing to spend at least a year studying and applying some basic yet little known principles and then practice regularly for the rest of their lives. This is what masters do. Why pretend otherwise?


• Guru Lie #4: Your mind can be programmed for success.
  You are not a robot. No one can punch your mental buttons and reformat your brain. There are no magical mental codes that will set you free. You set yourself free by the choices you make, the things you learn and the character you develop over time.
  
  What to make of all the personal growth strategies, techniques and protocols? They are wonderful. Everyone needs tools. There is no inherent power in them, however. The tools are merely helpful, albeit sometimes very helpful. Yet they are not as powerful as your determination, persistence, honesty, self-awareness and passion. These are the resources that make all of the difference, driving you to overcome obstacles and succeed. Don’t put your faith in somebody’s protocol. Put faith in yourself.


• Guru Lie #5: All you need to do is…
  We all crave certainty and are willing to pay dearly for it. The insurance industry exists because of this, as well as many of our cultural institutions. So, when the gurus show up and, with all the confidence and charisma in the world, assure you that your life will change if you just follow their instructions, it is nearly irresistible. Here it is folks, all you need to succeed in one neat little package with a bow on top!
  
  Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. And why should you limit yourself to one neat little package when there is so much more to learn? Don’t limit yourself to somebody else’s methods. Learn them all! Seek answers in every book, mini-course, and seminar. Develop your intuition and spiritual power. Seek answers within and without. Don’t settle on anything that will stop you from learning more. If there is an all you really need to do is solution, it is this: Leave no stone unturned until your dying breath.

Should we stop buying personal development products from people who are unrealistic in their marketing claims? Probably not. That might eliminate the entire market. I’d suggest making your decision to purchase or not based on something beyond the phony claims.

Written on 1/03/2012 by Mike Bundrant. Mike Bundrant is the director of the iNLP Center, an online NLP training center. For a free personal development mini-course, visit iNLP.

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