Football Season Is Approaching Fast. Use These Tips To Throw A Great Football Party.

Pick up several cases of acceptable but not necessarily premium beer. Any Bud is fine. PBR, only for a hipster crowd. Meister Brau or Milwaukee’s Best marks you as a cheapskate, and one with lousy taste. If you can get your gang to pitch in ahead of time for a keg, great.

If you’re worried about buying too much beer, ask yourself—how can you have too much beer? It’s not like you have to throw out the remaining cans when the party’s over. If your guests actually surprise you by bringing more beer than you need, hide the excess in the closet or under the bed and drink it yourself later. Or save it for the next party!

Look around for what receptacle in your home is most suitable for chilling a lot of beer. Stash as much in the fridge as it will hold, but it won’t be as cold as if it had been iced down. A cooler is ideal, so if you have one, fill it up. A washtub is great, too. If you don’t, lay in at least a couple of bags of ice and use the bathtub. You aren’t going to be taking a bath until the game is over, are you?

If your friends are into the hard stuff, tell them to BYOB plus mixers and be ready with a supply of Solo cups and ice. Of course, if their team really sucks this year, you’ll probably find them passed out behind the couch after sucking down a fifth straight out of the bottle during the third quarter.

The utensils
Although your friends may act like cavemen at times, you don’t want them wiping their pizza-stained fingers on your rug. Lay in a supply of paper plates, cups, plastic forks and lots of napkins. Have a few strategically placed trash bags so your guests don’t dump their garbage on the floor.

The betting pool
Nothing livens up a football party like a little friendly betting, but don’t let things get out of hand. Limit bets to a small amount and keep it friendly—and honest.

The TV
If you’ve been getting by with a little rinky-dink TV from the last decade, why not splurge on a big-ass set for this party? If you’re not ready to actually buy one, then rent a big screen HDTV with all the bells and whistles. Hey, this is a party!

For extra fun during playoff season, rent more than one TV so you and your guests can watch multiple games.

The neighbors

They can’t complain to the cops if they’re part of the party, so invite them over. That 80-year-old lady who walks with a cane probably won’t show up, but the fact that you invited her may make her feel too guilty to call the police if one of your friends runs out onto the patio in his underwear and barfs over the railing.

The cleanup
Sooner or later, you have to turn out the lights, the party’s over, as Dandy Don used to say towards the end of each Monday Night Football game. When you manage to push the last guest out the door, it’s time to start cleaning up your crib.

Well, at least part of it. Actually dragging the trash out to the dumpster can wait until tomorrow or when you sober up, whichever comes first. As soon as the coast is clear, pick up all cups containing any sort of liquid and dump them in the sink. Pick up any still-edible pieces of pizza and stash them in the fridge for tomorrow’s breakfast. Toss anything you don’t want to keep into those bags you left out for trash tossing. You did remember to put out the bags, didn’t you?

If your guests have totally trashed your place, call that maid and have her come back tomorrow. After all, you’ll need to get the place ready for next week’s game!

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