Coming up with a good conversation starter is a great
Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.
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So many guys in the whole world, nice, good-looking guys have one problem in common – they are all afraid to go up to a pretty girl and get to know her. These guys usually have no problem talking to relatives, best friends, and acquaintances of their sex, but in the presence of a girl they like, they do all wrong and can’t start talking.
For most people, the worst thing you can do is approach a girl, but it’s actually the most important thing you can do, just figure it out.
The following good tips on how to start a conversation and impress a girl, snatch a kiss and not hate yourself for a bad first attempt will help you take the first step towards changing your life.
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Even if everything inside is bubbling and shaking. But without a pompous, over-confident look.
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Don’t embellish or deceive. Girls love sincerity, it’s very important in communication, otherwise, the truth will come out later and you’ll end up making a fool of yourself.
Hobbies, entertainment, literature, films, work, pets, sports, etc. any topic that will get you started in the conversation.
Your pretentiousness will be immediately noticeable and will play to your disadvantage.
Getting to know you might be intimidating for your girlfriend, especially if she likes you right away. In the first conversation, as soon as you feel the conversation is not going any further, interrupt the meeting and invite her to the next meeting or arrange to write you back online.
A simple “hello” usually has nothing to reply to but another “hello”, and it can give the impression that you have nothing better to do or are too lazy to write more. Ask some kind of question or just ask how she’s doing.
Questions are a great idea as they imply answers and thus help keep the conversation going. If you ask her what is being asked in English, she will answer and you can ask her a follow-up question, comment on the assignment, make a joke about the previous lesson – in short, continue the conversation. If you just say, “Hi,” she won’t know what to say other than to greet you, too.
Ask open-ended questions, that is, questions that cannot be answered by “yes” or “no”. For example, “Do you like comedies?” is likely to be a one-word answer, but “What kind of movies do you like?” will entail a more elaborate answer, and you’ll find it easier to continue the normal conversation.
If you’re communicating for the first time, the girl shouldn’t feel as if you came out of nowhere and are asking weird questions. Talk about something that concerns you both.
For example, if there’s a school event coming up, ask, “Are you going to the party/disco/excursion/ on Friday?” You could even take a chance and suggest she go with you (or you and your friends, if you’re shy).
You can also casually mention recent events: “Oh, I saw you at McDonald’s today!”, “Did you hear the math teacher yelling at Nick?”
If you know she likes a certain band, show or movie, talks about them! Ask her if she liked the last episode of the season or what songs she would recommend you listen to. This shows that you are interested in her opinion and that you are trying to remember what she likes and what she doesn’t like.
This method works great because movies or music are often a real passion. People like to talk about them, watch them and find out more about them, and they’re usually happy to meet someone who shares that interest. People like to talk about their interests. Plus, it’s possible that your interests are the same.
If you don’t agree with a girl, don’t get mad! A little banter about “which Beatles song is the greatest” might help you get to know each other and have fun, but don’t try to insult her or say hurtful things.
Smiley faces can be fun and playful, but they’re innocent enough that a girl won’t think you’re being too forward. Put a smiley face in the message and she’ll notice.
If you’re not sure where to put the smiley face, put it at the end of the message, for example: “Did you see how the season ended? What a twist :)”
Winking smiley faces usually hint more at flirting and are used when you’re flirting. Don’t put a winking smiley where a normal smiley is needed, otherwise, the girl might misunderstand you.
Try not to overdo it with emoji and emoticons: such excessiveness can be repulsive.
Once you’ve struck up a conversation and found some common topic, try to keep it going.
When you’re ready, you can take the next step and use the messaging to set up a meeting in person – it could be a date, a meeting of two comrades, or a get-together. Texting is great, but real communication is a way to take the relationship to the next level.
It’s a simple rule of how to talk to girls that applies to everyone. People like those who behave naturally and casually.
Sincerity and simplicity in conversation are very important, don’t cheat on a girl’s petty details and don’t focus on a girl’s shortcomings.
During conversations, try to use maximum sincerity, showing it in emotions and facial expressions. Shake your head to her words, raise your eyebrows in surprise, or support her sentence with “wow,” “wow,” etc. This will show your interest and flatter a woman’s ego.
You can find good moments in any situation. Because girls like athletic men, it’s a good idea to show your energy even in correspondence.
Try to understand the girl by asking a lot of open-ended questions. These will help you decide how interesting this person is to you. Ask her what’s important to her and what she enjoys in life, her future plans, and her dream job. A good question is what she would do if she won a lot of money – it shows you how she feels about work and finances.
Of all the time you spend with her, 80% of that time should be spent listening.
You can also ask the girl to teach you what she knows, this is also a great way to get closer.
Ending the conversation at the peak of the conversation, i.e. when the girl shows genuine interest, is a good way to let the girl know that you have to run errands and say goodbye.
The best way to make a good impression on a girl is to show that you are polite and courteous. They say that first impressions matter, so start making friends with her by expressing yourself politely and kindly.
Do you really like the girl you’re chatting with and would you like her to understand your interest in her? If so, try to communicate with her genuinely and sincerely, avoiding her entreaties. Also, if you want to get their attention, try to be as original as possible in your messages, avoiding platitudes and flattery.
Did you get a girl’s number and are chatting to her because you want to win her over? In this case, I advise you not to get to the point too quickly. Instead, try to strike up a friendship, and don’t expect her to fall into your arms right away – you’ll see that if they are roses, they will bloom!
Messengers no longer restrict the characters you can use to write a message. Always paying attention to the form of the messages you write: the interlocutor may be irritated by grammatical and/or spelling mistakes.
However, if it’s customary in your environment to use certain abbreviations or replace them with other words, it’s worth doing. That way, the girl will feel comfortable talking to you.
If the person you’re talking to doesn’t reply for a while, even if you’ve just been online. Be patient and don’t flood her with messages, it’s annoying. You don’t know the reason why the girl has stepped away from the device, it probably has nothing to do with you personally.
The longer you wait, thinking about the situation and possible answers, the harder it will be to decide. If you really like her, get to know her and get to know her better so she can fall in love with you too.
Even if she says no at first, still she will be pleased, and perhaps in the future, she will look at you with different eyes.
Don’t start with jokes or dirty jokes, but the “standard” beginning, like “Girl, can I meet you? If you know the girl from, say, high school or college, make an innocent request.
Bear in mind that your question should lead to further conversation, otherwise the phrase “Do you have a pen?” may end up answering “No”. It is better to ask if she will go to the canteen and ask for company.
If you can’t approach her right away, smile at her from afar, you may even wink at her. Get a smile or reciprocal wink in return, and go for it – you have nothing to fear, she obviously likes you. If the answer did not come, do not be upset – it does not mean anything, because you do not know each other.
Try rubbing her shoulder lightly or walking a few steps beside her in the street when she catches up with you. At a café, sit on a chair nearby or, if you don’t have a chair, bring one yourself. It’s important to smiling and feeling confident at the moment of introduction.
Keep the girl’s attention, ask lots of questions and listen carefully to the answers. Try to understand what she’s interested in and what she’s into. If you understand what kind of person she is, it will be much easier to communicate with her.
Imagine that you approach a girl you like and ask her out or ask her out. The girl will either accept or not, and in the first case you get what you want, in the second – nothing to lose. You should be bold and not pushy at the same time.
So if you approach the issue of fear of girls rationally, you can quickly reach the conclusion that all the excitement is unfounded, as the guy and the girl are initially on equal footing, and even in the case of rejection, the girl nothing terrible will happen.
To stop being shy with girls, you need to learn how to communicate with different people and make your opinion known to others. You can expand your circle of communication and get in the habit of exchanging a few words with saleswomen, waitresses, hairdressers, ask strangers for time, directions, etc. This will help you cope with the fear of talking to a girl.
Learn how to start a conversation without sounding corny or sleazy. To know more, CLICK HERE!
Become friends with a girl. Don’t try to start a romantic relationship, but make familiars with an outgoing classmate, classmate, co-worker, or just the girl next door and hang out with your new friend more often.
These friendships can help you understand women better, make it easier to find topics to talk about and make it easier to get to know girls you like and stop fear be in one room with a girl. A friend can also be a great source of advice about a relationship with an individual you like.
If you want to meet a girl but are too shy to approach her in the street (at university, work, etc.), find her profile on a social network and start a conversation there. In virtual communication, you can always think over every phrase in the dialogue, and on the monitor, she won’t see your shyness, insecurity, fear.
But after conversing online you can ask her out, and talking to her will be much easier – during the process of communicating online, you can learn a little bit about her interests and character.
Expand your circle of interest, meet interesting people, set a goal and strive for it and identify your strengths and positive qualities. Start to appreciate and love yourself, realize that you’re as good as the other guys who are successful with women, and then your shyness will go away by itself – confident guys aren’t shy around women.
What to talk about with a girl you like is always very difficult. Especially at the moment when you decide to start a conversation, very often you get anxious and can’t connect a couple of words and are afraid that you will end up being boring.
Fear not, we are all human and we are all interested in the same topics, movies, hobbies, work, literature, etc.
Here’s a list of topics you can talk to a girl about. They are rather superficial and will help you start communicating in order to further define your mutual interests.
Start with a question: “Have you been to the cinema “name of the cinema”? We find out what you like to watch, whether you go tonight screenings, talk about novelties and invite you to a movie – it’s a cinch!
For example, you skate or collect stamps. In the former case, after a little chat, you can invite him to go for a ride. If he does not know how – promise to teach. In the second – tell a romantic story associated with your favorite brand and invite to see the collection. In the conversation, don’t forget to ask what she’s into and allow time to talk about it.
Does she like to read? If so, go ahead. What have you read lately? What’s your favorite writer? Tell us what you yourself are reading. Maybe know which book is about to be adapted? Already read a new book in a series she likes? Promise to let her read it.
There are plenty of them in any city. Get your hands on a guidebook and memorize the information on at least the ones you visit most often. Inquire about the girl’s favorite places, tell a romantic story about her favorite park and invite her for a walk.
It’s better to talk about “cute” flaws: the habit of being constantly late, losing pens, or, conversely, collecting them unnoticed by everyone you know. The main thing is to have fun.
Talking about how much your daily fare and meals, CDs, books – not a bad way to start a conversation. True, it’s not worth dragging it out, still think you – curmudgeon. After a couple of opinions, move on to another topic.
From family dinners with grandma’s cakes to favorite meals, exotic seafood, nice cafes, barbecue outings, etc. An invitation to your favorite cafe or weekend getaway out of town would make perfect sense in this case.
You can talk about your recent travels. Ask where she likes to go, where she likes to drive, her favorite weather for walks, where she’d like to be.
What do you prefer – the forest, the mountains, or diving into the uncharted depths of the sea for treasure.
Ask if the girl drives a car. If not, is there a desire? What kind of cars does she like? What other vehicles would she like to drive – a spaceship or an armored personnel carrier? Share your thoughts on your dream car.
Tell a funny story or two from your work or study experience. Ask about relationships in the team: whether there are common holidays, ask about bosses and teachers. There’s bound to be some common topic in these stories, something to laugh about.
What do you do at the weekend? Any answer to the question, do not criticize anything, even if the girl does not get up all day on the couch, eating cakes by the kilograms. Maybe she has a terribly stressful job and this is compensation for the stress. Your job is to keep the discussion going.
Start gently – with her favorite sports. If you hear that she does music or dance, don’t be too quick to burst into ravenous laughter. Try it at home in front of the mirror, standing on tiptoe, raising your legs, squatting, jumping, and waving your arms beautifully for a couple of hours straight.
From sport to health. Here’s a good time to say that it’s better to ride bikes in the fresh air than to sniff glue in basements. We could do a little philosophizing on the subject together. Unless, of course, the girl yawns during your moral lecture.
Do you believe in God, in destiny, are you interested in Buddhism, the history of religions, don’t you even believe in chance, etc.? Don’t hesitate to ask her if she believes in predestination, or if she believes that people create their own destiny. Do you feel that your meetings are not accidental? This could be an interesting conversation.
You could ask her what kind of guy she’d like to meet. What she won’t tolerate: cheating, neediness, greed, etc. Give your opinions in response. Ask about friends, tell them about yours. Just don’t start scrupulously going over ex-girlfriends.
Babies, younger siblings, nieces and nephews, and acquaintances. There’s bound to be things to discuss: funny sayings, pranks. If the lady you choose is already a mother, the conversation can be endless. You can find out how serious the person in front of you is.
What is the biggest holiday? What kind of gifts does she like? To give or receive? About yourself – definitely. For example, you like the winter, New Year’s Eve, Father Christmas, and swimming in the ice-hole under the tangerine rain in just flippers.
Be sure to compliment her on her beautiful appearance. Make a joke about her favorite jeans. Ask her how she feels about guys working the catwalk. Hint that a woman is beautiful in any outfit – any real man knows that.
Pets it’s a win-win. Does she have a cat, a dog, a rat, a parrot? It is mandatory to tell about your pets. Imagine what your favorite iguana and her guinea pigs would do together.
Meeting girls is not easy, especially if you are shy. You can find many tips from dating coaches on how to have a good conversation with a girl and not fall into your friend zone. Most guys make the big mistake of being afraid to approach and start small talk.
The main thing that will get a girl’s attention is, to be honest with an attracted girl. During the conversation, listen to what she’s talking, maintain eye contact, and don’t cover your mouth with your hands, this will give your words more confidence in her eyes If you have given her informed consent to continue the conversation, you can relax and be yourself, but don’t forget that she should feel the same way.
A: Shy guys can attract women with their qualities, even more than overconfident and narcissistic guys.
A: But most girls pay attention to the funny guy more than they do to their abs.
A: Hi, my name is Nick, I really like you, so I wanted to meet you.
Know how to Turn a Girl Into Your Girlfriend With One Simple Move. Even if she’s playing hard to get. WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW!
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.
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