American lyricist Eubie Blake once said, “I don't have any bad habits. They might be bad habits for other people, but they're all right for me.” That's an attitude that might make you feel more relaxed, but it's not an attitude that will help you make the most of your personal and professional opportunities.
The first thing you need to do to take conscious control and target your bad habits is to acknowledge their harmfulness. Believing there’s nothing you can do to fix them only postpones the damage these bad habits do to you.
I really wish things would change - I want to be happier – I’ve had enough!
We all long to feel happy and can feel that something is just not working in our lives and that it isn’t right for us anymore.
We usually know what would make us feel happier, even if we have a tendency to lie to ourselves; out of fear and the guilt of being selfish. We try to ignore it, or pretend that we don’t know to delay the truth, until we just can’t take it anymore…
Change is scary…
It is a step into the unknown, which can go hand in hand with the fear that we might hurt someone else if we think about ourselves - and “what if I fail and it wasn’t worth it!”
So we self-sacrifice and use up the one commodity that it totally precious and irreplaceable - time, because we are afraid.
August 2012, Kauai, Hawaii - I wake up to the sound of roosters. The morning air pours in through the windows and fills the curtains like sails. My body feels relaxed and rested from the fresh air.
My friends and I walk outside. We're immediately greeted by towering mountains of the greenest green. If not for the birds, it's completely silent. The only two cars anywhere near us are parked. We're in a secluded part of the aptly named the "Garden Isle."
We run about a mile to the Mola'a fruit stand, and buy our favorite Hawaiian fruits and smoothies. (One time my guava had worms in it, but other than that, the fruit was always delicious. I think I ate one of the worms before I saw the others, just in case you're curious.)
On this day, we have no plans but to satisfy our curiosity about this beautiful island. And we repeat this plan for 10 days. On the last days, we're all seriously talking about moving to Kauai, and it isn't just vacation bias. The culture is different. People there prefer simple living to excessive consumerism. They love the beach (to be fair, that's true for most of us). They understand and enjoy the beauty of nature.
It can be hard to get excited about managing your money when you can’t match your spending to your desired lifestyle.
Before you start making your financial goals, it makes sense to first sit down and think about what lifestyle you want to achieve. That way, all of your financial efforts will be aimed at achieving the life you actually want to live.
It’s much easier to stick with your financial goals -- and make the right goals for you -- when you are working with a purpose.
Having a positive outlook on life has many benefits, both to your mood and your physical health. Personality traits like optimism or pessimism can have an effect on your overall well-being, so it’s important to cultivate a positive frame of mind. Health benefits of optimism and positive thinking include greater resistance to colds, increased life span, reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease and better coping skills during periods of stress.
Positive people tend to live healthier lifestyles, getting more exercise, eating healthier diets and avoiding excessive use of alcohol. They also enjoy better psychological well-being and suffer less depression. We can’t feel good all the time but there are ways to encourage positive feelings and overcome negative ones.
Many people assume inspiration and motivation to mean the same thing.
They're so different, however, that I only believe in seeking one of them, and it's inspiration.
Why Getting Motivated Is An Unreliable And Frustrating Strategy
Getting motivated is such a backwards practice. Many don't realize this, but it often involves using your willpower to force or convince yourself to feel like doing something; it's an ironic brute force objective that states, "I'm going to want to do this whether I want to or not." Getting motivated is a struggle to change your inner feelings.
In theory we all want to be better; better friends, better spouses, better people, whatever.
But getting there is easier said than done.
When you think about becoming better do you picture becoming someone else? Someone you admire?
If so, you are looking at it all wrong.
In order to become better you need to focus on being a better you, not changing yourself into another person.
That just won’t work. You are unique, one of a kind, and priceless. However we can all use improvement. Don’t focus on becoming perfect or rich or famous. Even if you could it wouldn’t make you a better you. What are some realistic steps you can take to be a better you? Try these fourteen:
Does your life ever seem like a trap you can't escape because you have failed too much in all important areas of your life?
I empathize, because I have been there a few times (read: unemployed, broke, lonely, depressed).
I want to share with you three habits that will turn your life around and free you from your trap - if your take them up.
It worked for me and many others, so give it a try.
The three habits are not solutions to specific problems, but rather something you can do to master any tough spot and create well-being for yourself so you can lead your life towards success. (Success results from well-being more so than the other way around).
We’ve all been raised on the ideal of three square meals a day, but is this really the healthiest way to eat?
There are good reasons to eat smaller, but more frequent meals, including losing weight!
If you find yourself sneaking snacks because you get hungry a few hours after a meal, you may be better able to resist temptation by spreading your daily intake of calories over five or six smaller meals spaced out through the day.
Here are a few benefits from eating smaller, more frequent meals.
Just imagine for a second you could make all your dreams come true, achieve anything you want and succeed in all your undertakings. Wouldn't this be absolutely amazing?
And you know what? Achieving outstanding success actually isn't even that complicated. I am not saying it will be easy, because there will be all sorts of obstacles and challenges on your way.
But, the process itself is very simple. It takes only 7 steps to achieve extraordinary success and to make your dreams come true. All of those 7 steps are crucially important and none of them should be neglected.
You’re stuck at an event for an organization you don’t care about. You’re surrounded by people you don’t like. And you’re making small talk that bores you to tears.
Has this ever happened to you? If so, why do you do it?
If you’re like most people, you may spend dozens or hundreds of hours each year attending events, conferences, or networking mixers because we think they will help our business or our career. But the truth is, we have no clue.
At the same time, we all complain that we’re too busy. There aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. We want more time to spend with our family, to exercise, to devote to a hobby, or to just relax.
You probably know a few women who you would call "shopaholics".
These are the women who always let a great sale, or a shiny set of new shoes get the best of them. Sometimes they spend more money than they should and probably have a stack of credit cards that they struggle to keep up with back home.
What most people don't realize is that there are just as many men suffering from this condition as women, and these individuals are known as emotional spenders.
Living in a culture that looks up to glitzy celebrities and values consumerism, it is easy to fall into the trap that our worth as men directly correlates with our ability to purchase shiny things.
Moreover, we all have a competitive nature that drives us to want to one-up our peers, whether it is with the newest technology, the shiniest car or only drinking top shelf liquor at the bar. Does this hit close to home?
Would you like to take great strides in your professional and personal life, by (quickly and easily) learning from inspiring thinkers, writers, and business people?
Inspiring quotes can be words of wisdom from almost anyone – from Greek philosophers and poets right up to present-day CEOs.
As a business coach, I’ve made “quotching” a big part of my work over the past year or so. Quotching is a term I’ve coined (though you’re welcome to use it too) that means “coaching through the use of powerful and inspiring quotes”.
The great thing about quotching is that it’s a technique you can easily use for self-coaching: I’m sure you’ve got a few favorite quotes of your own, or you might have come across some on Facebook or Twitter.
Quotching is completely free, and can produce truly wonderful results.
"Thank God a text is coming in, I was about to have to decide to do something productive."
Is this thought really that far from the truth?
Many people recognize that distraction is a problem today, and look to technology as the main culprit. Instant notifications have actually done something far more damaging than that - they've made us poor decision-makers. Every time you answer an instant notification, it means that you were not previously committed to doing something else, which is easy to do when you have an active stream of communication 24 hours a day.
Being distracted is often the result of indecisiveness.
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