20 Basis Why Men Pull Away (Guide for Women)
Most love lives, if not all, start fantastic. Literally, you’re all over each other.
A man might at the start come on solid and forcefully seek after you. I mean that heartwarming experience filled with memorable moments, and the romantic bliss is seemingly at its peak. It’s almost like a lifelong bond.
Just in the middle of that, you find your man’s attitudes bidding you a farewell. Everything suddenly starts looking like he has next to no interest in the relationship again.
The signs are not in any way subtle. He starts acting like a stranger – no lengthy discussion anymore, no inside jokes, the regular late-night calls stop, no adventures. It could be at the early stages or when the land is green. Everything just gets dry!
Another instance – you’ve been dating for quite a long time and all is going extraordinarily well. He calls and pings you frequently, he pampers and cares for you, and then he unexpectedly becomes cold, far off, detached, and uninvolved.
Well, those are some of the awful experiences you face when you fall in love. And trust me, this is no child’s play, especially when a lot has been invested already. You just keep wondering what has gone wrong.
So, what are the reasons why men pull away? Is it something about women? Or an instinct wired into men? You’ll find answers to these and more in this article. We have a lot to cover, so let’s get started.
Table of Contents
- ☸ Know the 20 reasons why Men Pull Away when everything is great ☸
- 👉 Below are five signs that you’re moving too fast in your relationship 👈
- ◍ Things you must do when he is pulling away ◍
- ❂ Tips on how to handle emotionally when a guy is pulling away ❂
- 👤 Why do guys act interested then ignore you? 👤
- 💢 How do you know if a guy loves you but is scared? 💢
- ️⛳️ Conclusions ️⛳️
- 🥌 Relevant Questions 🥌
☸ Know the 20 reasons why Men Pull Away when everything is great ☸
With my experience and interactions with people over the years, I can say men do not just pull back. If you find your man pulling away, one or more of the following is responsible.
1. A change in priorities
Priorities change as one moves from one phase of life to another. This is what I mean. It is unlikely for a 4-year-old child to reject either a magnetic sketch pad or a pair of binoculars as a birthday present. But you and I know that’s not the same for an adult.
When a man is in his early 20s, he’s not likely to think beyond how to enjoy the moment – emotionally and sexually. But the moment he clocks 30, he begins to think more about the future.
At that period, he’s got some career and marital decisions to make. And if he doesn’t find what you share to be of value in the light of his plans, he might walk away.
Also, his priority could change after picking up new beliefs or convictions that contradict what you have in common.
In any case, a change in priority can make a man take his leave.
2. He has been a player all the way
As a woman, you must keep sharp eyes on why a man is enthusiastic about you. Don’t just take his treats – calls, chats, gifts, and compliments at face value.
A wise dude knows he needs to do all that to get your attention. In some cases, men play “green snake under the green grass.” But this doesn’t mean you should become entirely doubtful. All I’m saying is – be on the edge for red flags.
While he makes you feel so on top of the world with gifts and treats, be paying attention to finer details about his motives. He might just be a player.
Sometimes I hear ladies say “But he was all over me when we first met.” Well, you were too excited to spot red flags. Here are a few things you should watch out for.
- His willingness to leave his smartphone with you for long.
- The pictures on his phone and social media accounts. Are they more of him and other ladies?
- How does he treat your conversations? How well does he remember whatever you tell him?
- How often does he demand sex from you?
If you notice any suspicion, that could be why he pulled away.
3. The fear of making a commitment
Commitment does not exactly mean the same thing to men and women.
To a woman, it is more of her fidelity and how available she is to her partner. It is quite different for a man.
To him, being in love is more than answering the age-long title of a boyfriend or any of those sweet names. He’s aware that it comes with demands of numerous shades – time, convenience, money, and lots more.
In most cases, men’s eyes are closed to this at the beginning. But the moment reality dawns on them, they start to look for a way of escape.
4. He has found someone else
Another possibility is that there’s another person in the game.
In my experience, ladies are often slow to believe this. But the truth is that it happens. It might be a new person or his ex-girlfriend.
Either way, you can prove what has gone wrong by taking a clue from your rapport. He will stop contacting you frequently.
How often does he reach out to you before you gave him a “yes” or had the first sex?
If his voice is the first thing you hear in the morning and the last at night, how about now?
Does he still hook up with you on social media?
The moment a relationship with a mutual bond of communication turns into something you hustle to say “hello” to him, you might have been replaced by another woman.
Also, does he ignore calls while you’re together? I mean when you’re both alone and he’s snubbing calls.
The first time that happens, you can take it to be one of those distractions he doesn’t want whenever he’s with you. But if you find that repeating itself, something is wrong somewhere.
Another shade to this is if he texts a lot when you’re together.
If it occurs seldom, then it might be some of those occasional emergencies that can’t wait till later. However, the moment that becomes the order of the day and he doesn’t give reasonable explanations, he has already signed out.
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5. You are too easy for him
Nobody wants an impossible relationship, the same way some persons tend to be uncomfortable when everything is too good to be true.
Joe, a colleague at work, is in a relationship with Michelle. Ever since they started dating, they never had rows, no bit of turbulence. Michelle seems understanding all the time, even when Joe would expect her to launch a vehement tornado, she would still be unbothered like an overfed child.
It’s been five years they’ve been together, yet Michelle has never for once noticed or picked any form of fight. Now, Joe is scared that something is wrong and wants to pull away from the relationship.
In Joe’s opinion, an average woman picks a fight when you don’t do things her way. A woman who loves you shouldn’t be that easy. His past relationships have followed that route. So why has Michelle been this understanding hitherto, Joe queried? It seems she wants something else from me that is more than a relationship.
Truth is, most men prefer women who can constructively handle challenging situations, not women who seem comfortable with everything, even when things are bad.
Now ladies consider this scenario, if you are in Joe’s shoes, wouldn’t you consider taking a break?
To be honest, most people would.
6. He doesn’t see a future with you
Have you ever had a relationship where your partner’s actions gave no clear explanation as to what to expect? In most cases, those are mixed signals you’d have to interpret.
When a man really likes you, his attitude will put it to display while you’re dating. You only need to be observant. If your man is not doing any of the following, you can be sure he doesn’t see a future with you.
- Take you to meet his friends and family. If he’s truly into you, he’d be eager to introduce you to them.
- Involve you when making major decisions. If he’s serious about the whole thing and he wants to settle with you, you should not always be the one asking him about what he’s up to, you both should be making the decisions together.
- Discuss the future with you.
Once all these are lacking in your relationship and you find your man getting cold, then there’s a disconnection already.
He has weighed his options and he doesn’t see things adding up with you.
7. He’s not getting the deep emotional connection he desires
Have you ever been in a picture-perfect relationship where everything was good and fine, only for the guy to say he doesn’t see a future with you? I’ve been there myself.
Like I said earlier, it is rare for a man to back down if nothing has gone wrong. In some cases, it is because he is not getting that desired emotional connection.
A friend once said: it is better to remain alone till you find someone that complements you in a way that no longer makes sense to be alone.
Did you get that?
No man would want to stay bored for the rest of his life. Settling with any woman you don’t have any emotional connection with can make you miserable.
Look, a man is subjective with his decisions. For him to stay in love, the emotional attraction has to be top-notch. I mean the type that makes him feel incomplete whenever you’re not together. Anytime you’re out of town, it is almost as though you went with what’s keeping him alive.
Are you wondering what attributes could get a man that crazy?
Just anything about how he feels when he’s in your presence that he is yet to find in other women.
It might not necessarily be the body shape, bed performance, or any of such things he can get somewhere else. Those attributes are deep-rooted in your personality and character.
You’ll get a clearer picture of this in the next point. Keep reading!
8. He’s seeing the other side of you too often
This is an aspect women hardly pay attention to, but it is one of the reasons why even committed relationships crash.
Your body figure, pinky lips, and smiles might be all a man needs to say “I love you,” however, they may not be sufficient to keep him with you, especially if he intends to settle with you. Even if the man is super-tolerant, your character/way of life could turn out a game-changer.
Let’s start with your hygiene. Did you know many relationships have crumbled because of poor hygiene?
Some women can’t take care of their bodies and home. To be honest, men find that quite irritating.
Men adore women who make it their duty to groom themselves well. Always take care of your body; shower often and smell good. Men can’t stand women who are always caught looking unkempt.
Secondly, men want women to be submissive and peaceful. No man can stand a woman who keeps whining and crying all the time. Every man wants his woman to make him happy, and not one who would drain him out.
Though in some rare cases, I have seen some guys put up with nagging partners. But predominantly, men would just walk away.
Besides, what’s the bliss in staying with a woman who cannot help but nag? I consider such relationships to be both horrendous and unhealthy.
Another aspect is the way you handle quarrels and misunderstandings.
Are you always breaking things and hitting him vigorously during fights?
A guy wouldn’t want to continue being in a relationship with a woman who physically abuses him all the time.
9. The relationship has taken away his independence
Have you read about the American Revolution? The story gave me a roundabout view of how important it is to be independent. Wars were fought, and it took America a while to get her dream freedom.
Let’s bring it home. Do you remember what it was like those times your parents traveled, and you’re home alone? You decided when to sleep, get out of bed, what to eat, and where to go. You loved it, right?
Most times, people think total independence and being in love are sworn, enemies. That’s far from the truth, especially when the relationship is just starting.
To a guy, having to make or adjust plans about his expenses, time, and other resources to please a woman is a huge threat to his manliness.
As a woman, you should know that a man can’t tolerate a woman who doesn’t have a mind of their own. When a woman is not intentional about her life but always dependent on her man, that’s enough to make him emotionally unavailable. However, this may not be so where there’s a mutual commitment.
So, if your supposed picture-perfect relationship is getting cold, there are chances it is because your togetherness has robbed him of his independence.
1０. You displayed some red flags
This is another common reason why a man could walk out of a seemingly working relationship. As the saying goes – actions speak louder than voice. When one or more of your actions makes it clear that you’re up to something funny, your man won’t stay there like a clueless fool.
In all honesty, what do you expect from a man when you’re flirtatious? To say “Keep it up, babe?” Of course not!
You should know this well, a man finds it disrespectful when the woman he claims to love is a flirter. It makes him insecure and unable to trust you. And for all you know, a relationship without trust is as good as dead.
Another shade to this is how you handle things when your misdeeds are crystal clear. Do you try to cover them up with lies? Generally, nobody can stand a chronic liar. Not even in a romantic affair. It is a bad trait to possess.
You might be lying and getting away with it, but once he catches you, he tends to become insecure and would want to take a break from the relationship.
So, those red flags are enough reasons for your man to call it a day. He’s not gonna wait till you break his heart.
CLICK HERE to know About the reasons why he lies and What Really Goes On In Men’s Minds And Opened A Door That Could Change Your Life Forever!
11. You are not satisfying his sexual needs
You and I know how important sex is in a romantic relationship. Men enjoy women to whom they can come back to after an engaging day and take on long sexual parole.
Intimacy, which is a hallmark of a working relationship thrives better when a woman can give her man over-the-top bedroom adventures. You know what I mean, right?
Most men love a woman who is ever ready to give him marathons of sex any time, any day. To be honest, it is rare for a man to be a die-hard lover of a woman who is lazy in bed. Men love their women to be stimulating, exotic, hot, and able to take him on cloud nine back and forth.
There’s this thing called macho fantasy. Do you have any idea what that means? Well, it’s a man’s dream display of his masculinity on the bed.
Know this, men pride themselves on their “macho fantasies“ and they wouldn’t joke with a woman who would bring it to life. They want women they can explore with on bed.
So if your sex life is nothing to write home about, that might be the reason your man pulled away.
12. He no longer sees what got him attracted to you
This might sound vain, but many guys have abandoned their relationships because the lady gained enormous weight. You’ve racked your brain to find out why your man started withdrawing from you recently, then you should read this.
Wait a bit, can you imagine a man starting out with you with an eye-catching figure 8, only for you to pick up habits that made you into a “new creature.” And you know what, the relationship itself might be what inspired the process.
For instance, you can’t escape adding weight if your frequent hang-outs are disrupting your fitness therapy. Also, if you can’t go on a date without getting drunk, it’s just a matter of time, your tummy will start protruding. Before you know it, you stop keeping eye on your weight, and BAM, the real you is out of his sight.
See, if your body look was what he admired him when he asked you out, then he’s got no business with you again. The killer-body is no more, so he no longer finds you attractive.
What else can he do but pull out to find his taste?
13. He’s been having it rough with life
Have you ever been in a relationship where a guy who is always full of life suddenly starts getting cold? He stops picking interest in those inside jokes, weekend clubbing, or holiday picnics.
Sometimes, when a guy starts ghosting, the fault might not be from your side. He might be having his portion of the bad side of life and he can’t hide it anymore.
Mark, my brother’s friend, met Helen when he gained admission into college. Mark couldn’t stand Helen’s beauty and intelligence, so he decided to ask her out. The friendship went on for a couple of years after which they decided to take the friendship some miles further.
Upon proposing marriage to Helen, Mark was diagnosed with a kidney condition and wasn’t going to be alive for more than six months.
The one-time humorous Mark started keeping a dull face, and in a short while told Helen he wanted a breakup.
So many relationships are like that of Mark and Helen. When a man’s action becomes void of life, he might be having it rough with life and he’s keeping it to himself.
14. He wasn’t interested in you as he thought
The whole thing started out amazing. You frequently went on dates, he couldn’t help but compliment you, he was always in your DM on social media, he called countless times a day, and bought you gifts often. You thought you’ve found the love of your life, only for him to start acting like a stranger.
If you’re sure the fault isn’t from you, there are chances that he was only obsessed initially and wasn’t exactly into you. And by my experience, this is one of the reasons why young relationships fail.
Once the guy discovers that he got it wrong with his feeling, he will start fading away hoping that you will pick the gist. Guys are just that funny! Anyways, most times they are being careful not to hurt your feelings. However, deep down in their minds, it is over.
If this resonate with you? It is appropriate that you hear from him first to confirm your suspicion. From his response, you will know what he’s up to.
If it turns out that he doesn’t find the companionship he thought he’d get from you, you will be wasting your time still hanging around. Call it to quit and find someone else.
15. He is trying out other options
I’m sure you’re aware there are online platforms where guys can get enough ladies to ask out. Or aren’t you? In fact, they are gaining more prominence these days. Currently, there are more than 1000 dating websites.
Gone are the days when online dating was viewed as the last hope for the desperate. According to a report published by Statista in May 2021, there are up to 44.2 million users of online dating platforms in the US alone.
Among other reasons, it is believed that you have higher chances of finding your match, it is more affordable, flexible, requires less effort in approaching, and you get to decide the pace.
So if your man says he’s quitting, you might not be the picture-perfect he’s searching for and he’s already exploring other options. I know that could be extremely disheartening.
If you find yourself in that situation, your best bet is to move on with your life. There’s definitely somebody out there searching for what your man has rejected, so there’s no point forcing yourself on him.
16. He has access to you anytime, he wants
When you make yourself unnecessarily available, you tend to lose so much respect and value. This is what I mean – you’ve never had a cause to reject a proposal to go out together, rather you’re always on his neck.
Just after slight boredom in the office, you send him a message – “Hey, baby. What are you up to after work? I want us to go see a movie together in the cinema.”
Look, it is not too good when you make that a culture.
A man prefers his woman to be engaged with meaningful things, not one who throws herself to him all the time.
Is a big turn-off for most men when they find you easily accessible. It would be thoughtful to feign busy sometimes.
So, If you are that cheap, he might start drawing back.
17. He’s scared of not being able to regulate his feelings and it makes him uncomfortable
Let me let you in on a little secret, a lot of men are insecure, men tend to pull away from emotions they can’t handle or regulate. They’re scared of not being able to control their emotions. They may consider the prospect of a relationship extremely engaging, yet the feelings that accompany it are more difficult for them to get their heads around.
As your relationship evolves he may begin to feel like he’s too clingy or attached to you, he then begins to feel like his emotions are coming on too strong, at this point he’s having issues regulating his emotions.
Men generally want to be accepted and not rejected by people they love and care about. They pull out of relationships when they’re scared of been rejected, they might have been through many bad experiences and they’re are scared of fully opening up to avoid been rejected again.
At this point, he can’t control his feelings and it can lead to him pulling back and shutting you out because he feels uncomfortable. Even when they’re are been showered with love and attention, they feel it’s too real to be true.
Fear has the power to influence the human mind, and when they perceive the slightest rejection they’ll begin to pull back gradually because they don’t want to get hurt again.
18. He feels unimportant or unwanted
Do you make him feel less important in your relationship? Men pull away when they feel unimportant or useless. It saddens them when they can’t meet up to the standard of their women. They feel less when the little effort they put into surprising or providing for the one they care about is not appreciated. This gradually makes them lose the enthusiasm to do more and it leaves them feeling unwanted or useless.
Men are not known for being transparent and open about their emotions, this doesn’t mean they don’t love. Men are very insecure it’s difficult for them to show their feelings, so when they do and it’s not appreciated it makes them pull back into their shells.
As a woman when you notice this in the early stages or after a long time in your relationship, you need to tell your man and make him know you care and appreciate the efforts he puts in to make you happy and comfortable, drop notes or send him sweet messages appreciating him.
Even when he hasn’t done anything make him understand, feel, and know that’s he’s important to you. Make out time for him, take him out on a date, prepare his favorite food, shower him with gifts.
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19. He could be prioritizing his identity or character
Have you ever felt you’re losing your identity in a relationship? Guys do too. Sadly, women hardly notice this until the man finally pulls away.
An essential reason why men usually pull away is that they feel like they’re are losing their identities. This may be because you’ve crowded his mental and physical space with your presence, if he stops going out, doing the stuff he loves, hanging out, or watching football with his buddies because you’ll get angry then he’ll likely pull away, mind you it’s not wrong to be around your boyfriend but sometimes we need to give ourselves little space, remember he had a life before you guys started dating.
Pulling away can happen in different stages of your relationship, it could occur in the early part of your relationship when you’re getting to know each other or later in the future. Pulling away doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad, it helps him to rediscover his identity.
Support your man in doing the things he loves, give him time to enjoy the company of his buddies. Don’t be angry if he doesn’t invite you for a guys’ night out, understand that he still needs to be himself and can’t change overnight. Remember he had a life before you, don’t just rush into his space and be all over him. Men are territorial they love and protect their space with their lives.
20. He may feel that everything is happening too fast
When exploring a new relationship, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the energy, before you realize it, everything is moving excessively fast.
Before you know it, you’ve started sleeping over in his house for over three weeks with no break, you’re making plans to buy an apartment together or you’ve started discussing your major plans with him, without even getting to know his last name and understand who he truly is or what he wants from this relationship.
There’s every possibility you’ll lose your man if you keep moving too fast because of the speed your relationship has taken it is too fast for him to handle.
Neurolove said: “Never rush into a relationship, take it slow, become friends and mostly trust one another” when you’re too fast, you’ll miss out on vital things you should know about each other, slow and steady is better, with this you’ll get to know each other and earn each other trust.
👉 Below are five signs that you’re moving too fast in your relationship 👈
🔹 When you always talk about future major plans.
🔹 Planning multiple dates in a week.
🔹 Meeting the parents after a week or two you started dating.
🔹 When you constantly text or call him in an hour.
🔹Pressurizing him into marriage
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◍ Things you must do when he is pulling away ◍
Now that you’ve run all checks and it’s evident that your man is pulling away, what should you do? Apparently, you’ve got just two alternatives – you either leave him to go or salvage the relationship.
If you choose to throw yourself on him, you might be able to fix things up. However, if he’s made up his mind already, it’ll all be an effort in futility. On the other side, if you chose to ignore him, it’s a win-win for the guy.
So how do you get to know which is best?
Before pitching your tent, you have to be sure of what got him freaked in the first place. Look at this – why do you think self-medication is bad? It’s because it is a trial and error approach. And in most cases, people get things wrong.
That’s exactly what many people do when their relationship is going down the drain. You can only respond properly after identifying what his reasons are. I have some thoughts on this. Below are 5 things you should do when he’s pulling away.
👉 Try and identify what exactly is wrong
Just like I said, the moment you can tell what the source is, it becomes much easier to find a way out. If you hurriedly respond, you might end up shooting yourself in the leg. And sadly, that’s the mistake many people make in relationships.
Here’s how to go. Try and remember how your recent hang-outs have been, most especially the last. If you’ve not met recently, what about your last conversation?
Did it go well or you noticed a change?
If everything was as cool as before, then there are chances he’s still into you. You never can tell, his desks might be filled up.
But if something changed, then ask yourself what might have caused it.
What was his mood like? Was he frowning or he just kept a dull face?
And if he’s been out of town for a while, what can you remember about his responses in your last call or chat. Was it conversational or he was giving those annoying short responses?
Finally, for how long has this been on? One week? Two weeks? One month? You really need to know.
Once you’re able to retrace your steps this way, you will know which side of your bread is buttered, and what you should do.
👉 Stir up his hero instinct
Have you heard about the common relationship psychology term called “hero instinct?” It is that inherent ‘bossy’ feeling and sense of protection in men. And trust me, if you can find your way into stirring it up, you might be able to get your man’s attention again.
To trigger his hero instinct, you’d need to convince him that no matter how hard he tries, you’ll always be the perfect match. You need you to make him see that you’re his best option.
So how do you think you can get this to him? Give him good sex? Come off it, he can get that from any other woman.
You’ve been together so you should be able to tell what makes him feel like a hero. Make him feel he’s your ‘macho.’
This may sound like you’re putting yourself at his feet in a way, but that’s not exactly so. To the man, it’s a bi-fold admiration – he’s been complimented and also earned your reference. I tell you, that’s a big deal for men.
As a woman, you must know this. Men love it when you make them feel they are doing their job. Like I said the noble instinct is in him already, making him feel like your protector is just the simple way to turn him on. He might have a rethink and consider making things good again.
So, start from here and watch if it can salvage the situation. Having done that, make a follow-up with the next step.
👉 Talk to him about it
After identifying what the issue is and you have kick-started stirring up his hero instinct, the next step to take is to confront him to hear his side of the story. At least by now, you should have an idea of what you think the problem is, so discuss it with him.
The last time I shared this with a group of women, one of them, Mary, asked me ”In all sincerity, I want to ask – won’t that confrontational approach tear everything up?”
Do you think it can?
Well, I understand the place of being courteous while addressing your man. But listen, keeping quiet is not going to make things any better. You don’t have to make up an appearance that you’re fine with his attitude, go ahead and have a heart-to-heart discussion with him.
But be sure to be polite with it – put up a gentle face and keep your voice. Handle it like one of your usual gist in a restaurant.
Ask direct questions. What he observed about you caused the sudden irritation. Is it because of a wrong on your part? Or he has just decided to move on? Just be that real and casual.
He might play rigid at the start, but as his woman, I expect you to know what to do to get him to talk.
Nonetheless, prepare your mind for the worse. If he’s no longer ‘seeing you,’ there’s close to nothing you can do that will change his mind. But then, you’d have cleared your doubts.
👉 If need be, make clarifications
Another thing you should do is to make necessary clarifications. Should your discussion prove you guilty and you have some explanations as to why things went the way they did, you should make those clarifications. As you do, be humble to accept your wrongs. That alone might get things resolved.
In the same way, if he’s leaving to excuse himself from being committed, you may want to tell him to what extent you can endue. You can even make suggestions.
All in all, let him know you care about the way he feels.
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👉 Make your decision
At this juncture, you have heard it all. You’ve asked your question, he has responded, and you’ve made necessary apologies and clarifications. There’re only two possibilities here – you either reconcile or let him be.
Most times, women opt for giving the relationship the second trial. Well, you can if you think it’s worth it. But if it is clear there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, accept his decision and move on.
I know that could be difficult. But look, sometimes you need to show a man you love him by allowing him to make his decision.
Your picture-perfect is waiting for you out there so there’s no point crying over spilled milk. As you end the discussion, below are some of the things you can do to get over the hurt.
- Discuss it with a friend
- Stop by at a restaurant to enjoy your favorite meal
- Visit a cinema to see some movies
- Forgive yourself
- Give yourself some time to get over the breakup
❂ Tips on how to handle emotionally when a guy is pulling away ❂
Hitherto, we’ve seen the reasons why a man can pull away. Everything is usually stunning at the onset. You began going out on dates. You shared lots of things in common and had a good time together. You felt like you could open up and reveal anything to him. You felt adored, treasured, and venerated. He showered you with attention and your relationship evolved.
You figured he may even be the one, yet it was too soon to tell. Then, at that point, everything changed. It seemed like somebody had flipped a switch and abruptly he pulled away. He became quiet and far off. What’s more, it left you confounded, asking for what reason do men abruptly pull away?
Having talked about the steps you can take when this happens, let’s take a step further to talk about how to emotionally handle the situation. In this section of the article, you’ll discover seven simple ideas to navigate the emotional trauma, so you get to understand what your man is up to exactly.
➡️ Don’t stress yourself
One of the first steps you should take when you notice that he’s pulling away from you and your relationship is to relax your mind and ease yourself from stress. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Remember that this isn’t a sign that your relationship is ending, there are lots of reasons why he may be acting a little distant or far off. It could be that he’s scared of rejection or has not been able to provide for your needs. When he starts pulling away your mind will tell you that he doesn’t love you anymore, or he’s seeing someone else.
I know your agitation, you want to find out why exactly he needs space. Look, calm down first. When an individual is stressed or worried, they tend to remove themselves from public or social activities, especially if they aren’t the kind that talks much, they can become distant.
If your man isn’t the kind that talks about his feelings frequently then it won’t be a surprise that’s he’s pulling away, to work through his problems. He could be worried about his family matters, health issues, work, or academics. Don’t forget that people go through challenges and problems that they’ll prefer to solve alone.
Try not to make the most exceedingly terrible hasty judgments at this time, you’ll possibly worry yourself when you would benefit more from remaining reasonable.
➡️ Give him a break
Let’s be honest, women tend to become controlling and nagging freaks. Once they’re in a relationship, they become too clingy. They wound want to spend every minute with their men, and this could be choking at times.
The way women become like agents attempting to discover their men’s whereabouts and whom they are with could simply be disturbing. Look, he had a life before you met, and he’ll need to be with other people, just like you.
Try quitting messaging him every second in a day and make it a habit to have time for yourself too.
Break time doesn’t mean your relationship has ended. It may just mean he needs some time with his friends and family.
Men need their private time. Assuming your man needs to hit the bar with his pals or go on a fishing trip with his partners, don’t get angry and stop him. Instead, let him go. You’ll see that by giving your man his space, you attract him closer to you because you’ll allow him to miss you. I mean to miss having you around.
Sometimes he could say he wants to hang out with his buddies just so he could escape from his responsibilities. So, to stay balanced emotionally, if your man needs space, don’t always hesitate to give it to him. Always remember we all need our space.
➡️ Don’t mount pressure on him
In relationships, men are very helpless when they face pressure. It is odd because women feel otherwise. Women normally feel glad and carefree when they are with the man they love, yet the effect of being seeing someone as a man is unique.
Scientific investigations have likewise shown that when men bond with ladies, the creation of the Oxytocin chemical is expanded. This brings down the testosterone level and causes the man to feel anxious. Also, there’s just such a lot of pressing factors a man can take.
So, in some cases, the reality of the relationship turns into an intense weight. This often makes men pull back.
During this period, the best you can do is to make him feel comfortable and great. This could mean you need to simply allow him to float away and have some season of his own. Hang tight for some time until he sorts things out. If he returns, do well to acknowledge him when he returns.
Mind you, doing this doesn’t mean you’re a loser, rather it further proves your love for him.
➡️ Men disdain to lose their manliness
Some women would want their men to be emotionally connected to them, to be additionally sweet and soft. In any case, when men sense they’re losing that manly energy, they pull away. This isn’t a result of pride or anything. It’s simply their thing and they must keep up with it.
This is one indispensable reason why men pull away and managing it appropriately is an absolute necessity. Simply be delicate. Men have truly weak points in them. Understanding why men pull away and realizing how to manage it is an amazing method of keeping your relationship solid and alive.
Sometimes if men are scared and they doubt your love for them, they’ll pull away. But if women can offer reassurances and exhibit a positive result, things can pretty quickly start to improve.
A friend of mine, Lizzy experienced this first hand when she noticed her husband began to pull away, she didn’t pay attention and it nearly cost her marriage. Lizzy didn’t understand the principles of stopping men from pulling away. She kept on nagging, pressurizing, and planning her husband’s life.
She went as far as portraying negative behavior towards him and it made her husband far apart from her. Thankfully, she realized her mistake soon and she decided to approach things from another level.
➡️ Be open-minded
When he is serious to talk about his feelings to you and fix the harm done, you must stay open-minded.
Chances are, he has kept quiet because he thought you wouldn’t care about it. Tell him from the beginning that you will acknowledge anything he says.
As he talks, ensure you pay rapt attention. Allow him to express his genuine thoughts without your viewpoints keeping him from getting everything out. It tends to be enticing to intrude on him, particularly because you don’t like what he’s saying, yet this will just make him disappointed and miserable to converse with you.
Listen to him and make him feel the conversation you’re having with him isn’t taken for granted or unimportant. Dave Willis said ”Listen to your spouse don’t disregard their feelings and opinions, respect them enough to hear what they’re saying and respond with thoughtfulness”
➡️ Show him you value him
Do you value your man? For a man, it is significant for his ego that he is appreciated and be looked up to by his woman. Significantly, he feels your regard, approval, appreciation, and love.
Show him you care and cherish him, especially when he’s becoming cold because he’s going through difficult times. Even if he hasn’t told you the reason he’s pulling away, still drop messages for him once in a while, letting him know you still care.
However, don’t make him feel like everything is about you, don’t send messages telling him you can’t do or breathe without him, he’ll feel that you just want to use him to fill the space in your life.
➡️ Keep up with your integrity
I’ll advise that when you’re going through this phase, be careful to keep up with your confidence and fidelity. Ladies who have a solid portion of confidence are predominantly seen as more attractive.
Nonetheless, never give off the perception that you are exclusively dependent on him for your happiness. Just like women, men need to feel esteemed, cherished wanted, and appreciated. However, they would prefer not to realize that your capacity to feel these things is solely dependent on them.
👤 Why do guys act interested then ignore you? 👤
Imagine this, a guy appeared to be overwhelmed with passion for you. You’ve gone out two or more times, and things are looking truly good. Then out of nowhere, he quits reaching out. To be honest, this is not just irritating, it is confusing.
You start trying to figure out what has happened to the interest he once showed. Well, here are some fascinating reasons why that could happen.
⏭ He is shy
You should know this as a woman. Some men are shy. And this makes it very hard for them to express themselves.
Your man may suddenly realize that though he loves you, he doesn’t know how to present himself to you or even treat you better.
As far as he might be concerned, it is smarter to ignore you than leave his shell and strike a discussion, especially if he’s not sure that you like him.
Women tend to see men as their savior or hero, they expect men to be strong and outspoken. But in reality, some men are shy and insecure. You know he’s a shy person and he doesn’t talk much so, when he ignores you, don’t be baffled or perplexed. You will make yourself insane thinking about what ended up making him treat you this way.
Don’t worry or stress yourself, because you’ve done nothing wrong, he’s only ignoring you because he is shy and he doesn’t think he’s right for you.
⏭ He believes you’re not interested
Another reason behind why he is pulling away could be the prospect that you’re not interested or you don’t like him. Being around you may be hard for him since he figures he can’t have you. To keep this from occurring, tell him from the beginning that you like him.
When he shows you signs that he’s interested in you, don’t overlook it, acknowledge it, and let him know you care too.
Men are worst at reading minds, meaning they can’t understand or know your thoughts if you don’t tell them about them.
Sometimes, guys test ladies. They act interested in you one day and the next, they put up a dislike. He needs to check whether you are truly intrigued or he’s simply a passing stage for you. In the same way, he needs to know if you’re true to your commitment to acknowledge him for who he is.
Always make him understand that you’re interested in him, put him as a priority just so he could get the message that you’re also interested in him.
⏭ He’s scared
The last thing that a man would need to accept is that he’s gradually becoming helpless against one lady. If he has been hurt in the past, he might be scared to disclose that he is head over heels about you. He’s not being a coward, it’s simply him being fearful of getting hurt once more.
Some men are also scared of being committed. You and I know commitment comes with responsibilities.
Regardless of how wonderful your relationship appears, if he’s scared of commitment and responsibility, it won’t work.
Also, he might have issues with letting people into his life.
Even if he still loves you, he might feel it is too early and he’s not prepared for the pressure that comes with being in a relationship. This is an issue that frequently torments men.
If your man isn’t ready for a commitment, don’t force him or pester him to make a hasty decision. Else, you’ll end up scaring him away.
⏭ He’s having conflicting opinions
He might be having conflicted thoughts about you and the relationship. This happens frequently, particularly after the time you guys have had enough of each other, and is followed by issues. Feeling of ambivalence naturally leads him to question himself about how much he wants your relationship.
Ambivalence could be caused by a less stellar level of chemistry. So when he’s going through this phase he may not realize what to say to you or how to treat you better, so he’ll overlook or ignore you. It can even be worse because some ambivalent men maltreat or abuse their women.
⏭ You’re not a sex person
Men want good sex. It is wired into them. And if you are in a different lane, then you’re in for a bumpy ride. You need to acknowledge him as a man and acknowledge that he has sexual drives.
If you turn him down too often, he has more than enough excuses to leave you.
Immaturity is another common reason why men have fluctuating interests in women. Of a truth, his feelings are genuine, however, he doesn’t know how to deal with them.
Among other things, immaturity could make a man fear closeness and intimacy. He might consider you to be undermining or threatening, even when you have never done anything of such. To him, his best bet is to keep away from you.
⏭ You’re too clingy and he needs his space
Typically, whenever a man says he needs his space, it is a sign that something doesn’t feel right with him. He might feel caged by how far your intimacy has gone.
If you are always calling or pinging him, he might see that as a threat to having enough time to spend with his friends.
When a man says he needs his space, you best offer it to him or you might lose him for good.
The most terrible thing you could do when a man says he needs his space is to become too clingy or put in the effort to persuade him that you are the right one. To him, that’s proof that you’re obsessed with him and that is enough reason for him to start ignoring you.
If he needs space, then you have been around him for too long without a break. Give him space to spend time with his friends and family.
⏭ He’s not really into you
In reality, when a man truly loves a woman, the signs are always there. However, if it wanes over time, it could be that he’s not really into you.
He might stop talking to you so you don’t get hurt or erroneously assume that he likes you. Sometimes, men believe that you’ll get the message if they ignore you for some time. Unfortunately, some ladies still do not get to pick that on time. They are so naïve that they end up wasting their time.
⏭ When you always ask for favors
Are you always asking your boyfriend for favors? Are you always asking for something whenever you call him?
Some ladies only call their guys whenever they need something. The moment you start asking for too much from your man, he’ll begin to pull away. While men like to help their women whenever they are in need, they get pissed off when it becomes a burden.
⏭ He wants to end things with you
In some instances, men start to act uptight and awkward when they want to call it a quit. Their character would transform into something you can’t understand. He’ll begin to talk less, act distant, and play less.
Does he still call and chat with you like before?
Does he now use his work as the excuse for not seeing you?
If the answers are yes, then there’s no point asking why everything has gone quiet, it is obvious he wants to end things with you.
💢 How do you know if a guy loves you but is scared? 💢
For some guys, dishing out their feelings to girls they like is something they chew like a hobby. If they like you, they would walk up to you and let you know without beating around the bush. Whereas, some guys wouldn’t mind touching a cobra instead of professing love to girls they like.
Do you want to hear a secret today? Now listen!
Tessie is a schoolgirl who believes with little conviction that Alex, the 2nd cutest guy in his class likes her but is scared. Earlier today, she has something to say to Chloe about Alex, the only girl she talks to in her school. She calmly said to Chloe….. I believe Alex loves me but he’s yet to tell me. Well, I am confused because I still see him talk to this girl named Amanda.
How deeply do I know if he loves me, or am I just creating scenarios in my head? Well, Chloe took the customary care to tell her some signs that allow you to know when a guy loves you but is scared. Want to find out what Chloe said to Tessie? Then you have only one option, stealthily navigate through the lines of this section of the article and you will be just amazed at what you shall discover.
Chloe believes that before you assume a guy loves you, you have to look out for these signs…
Wanna know how to make a man chase you and make him into a passionate Prince charming? CHECK THIS!
▶️ Does he smile and always listen to you?
When he sees you, does the guy let out a glowing smile that soothes your body and soul just like the early morning sun? Even when there is little or no reason for him to launch such a smile. You have to know that when a guy likes you, most times he can’t help but smiles at the slightest opportunity he gets to be around you or when he bumps into you.
Also, he is shy and finds it difficult to speak up, but he just makes it up with his good listening skills. He always seems interested whenever you talk to him. Always listening to you intently. Whenever you are talking to him, he tends to be fully absorbed that he wouldn’t even notice any other thing happening around him. He is just nodding along and staying interested as you talk. Even in a group, when others are talking, he richly focuses all his attention on you.
With these, do you still need a town crier to break the news that he likes and want a relationship with you, but is just scared?
▶️ Does he ask you the simplest questions and remember little details about you?
He has a habit of asking you simple questions like what is your dream vacation, your favorite color, your favorite celebrity, and kinds of stuff. Don’t you think that those ridiculous simple questions he asks you, might just be a subtle way of sending you the message that he really loves you?
Any guy who is not interested in you, wouldn’t have anything to do with such information. You must not feel those questions are for fancy, his curiosity is just better than disinterest.
Also, men tend to be forgetful about some details about you if they don’t fancy you. But how come he remembers everything about you? You just opened your eyes widely in amazement, after he just detailed something you had told him a few months ago.
It really should be the only one he cares for that he floods details about her in his brain.
▶️ He looks at you way too much
Why would an uninterested guy always want to run a scan on you with his eyes? Absolutely no reason. He just enjoys throwing secret glances at you always.
A shy guy wouldn’t want to be seen looking at you always, because confrontation is something he avoids like plaque. But he couldn’t help staring and admiring you at every slightest chance. He even goes the extra mile to smile when making eye contact, which is just like icing on a cake.
That intense state is a good indication that his whole being is just attracted to you. When letting out that intense smile back to him whenever he makes eye contact and smiles at you, it would give him the needed motivation to pursue you and really make things easy and smooth for him.
▶️ Watch whether he replicates your behavior
He just unconsciously copy your actions. There is this type of attraction that comes to people when they love you, to the point that most times he unknowingly replicates your behaviors.
You are likely to notice that when you are in the same environment with him, he seems to repeat things you do like…..when you touch your face, he does the same, if you shift your seat, he does the same, if you sip your drink, he does same, you straighten your cloth, he still does same.
Replicating your behavior is a good sign he loves you, but is scared to tell you.
▶️ He touches you in a casual way
He just couldn’t help but touch you lightly on the hand, shoulder, back. That is quite a good sign that he loves you. We all know that a shy guy would rather run a marathon race repeatedly than touch a girl. But he unknowingly sees himself doing this.
Do you still need a soothsayer to tell you that he likes you but is just scared to let you know?
Warning!! Beware of insensitive/creepy guys who may try to touch you in an As inappropriate way. No female should condone that.
▶️ Watch out for showboat
He is always talking about the great things he has accomplished around you. It could be how he made straight A’s, how he rescued a girl from a bunch of bullies, how he is good at multi-tasking.
Trust me, he is not trying to brag and boast. It is just his noble way to let you know that he is energetic and would always be at your service if need be.
▶️ Confront him
Confronting a guy you suspect that likes you, is not a thing for the faint heart. You can only consider employing this method if you are not the patient type. You just can’t wait any longer, tired of observing things. You just want to walk straight up to him and ask him. You have to be diplomatic about this, make sure not to go overboard, because he might not find it cool and might conceal his true feelings.
Well if you simply do this, he might be delighted, since you just helped him to let the cat out of the bag. You taking the bold step is something he might find brilliant.
▶️ Pay attention if he’s always ready to hang out with you
He is always craving to be with you, doesn’t mind canceling appointments, he just doesn’t mind being inconvenienced. He shows up whenever you need him. Naturally, a shy guy tends to stay with his small group of friends.
For him to break out of his very comfort zone and always want to stay around you, that alone should speak volumes to you. It is a crystal clear sign that he is crushing on you.
▶️ Is he following you on social media?
He always likes your post, follows you on all social media platforms. That’s just his way of keeping up with you. He tries to pay attention to everything about you. He just can’t get enough of you.
A face-to-face conversation can be an uphill task for him, so he chooses to leverage social media to talk to you. He just understands that behind the scene, he just doesn’t have to deal with anything that would alter his confidence.
▶️ He just gets upset when you talk to other people
You just found out that he gets jealous when you talk/hang out with other guys. He is just scared that before he gathers the morale to talk to you, the other guy might have already gotten your love and attention, and that is the last thing he wishes for. He is probably wondering, oh! Why does this guy have to be close to you before him?
To him, such sight is a fearsome thing to behold. He might just let out a subtle reaction by giving the other guy a disgusting look, or he would just quickly leave the scene because the more he stays and sees you with the other guy, the more his heart bleeds.
You need to understand that shy people usually suffer in silence, especially when they are jealous. The fact that he couldn’t withhold his jealousy is a big fat sign that he loves you and what a relationship with you.
️⛳️ Conclusions ️⛳️
Like we’ve seen all along, even when everything starts bright and beautiful man can still pull away. I’ve outline 20 reasons why this could happen, the possible steps you can take when it happens, and how to tell when a man loves you but is just being scared. I hope you found this insightful? Let me know.
🥌 Relevant Questions 🥌
Q: Will ignoring a guy get his attention?
A: Yes, if you do it the right way. Turning down some of his advances can present you to be of value to him. If he’s really into you, he will fall harder for you. But the moment you go to the extreme of ignoring him completely, he might be forced to let you be.
Q: What to Text When a Guy Pulls Away?
A: I’ve observed you’ve been ghosting away lately. All the same, I care about you and would love that we handle whatever you’re going through together. Let’s talk, please.
Q: Will leaving him on reading make him want me?
A: May. Leaving his messages unread shows you don’t have his time.
WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW to learn more on how to get a guy’s more attention.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.