How do you get what you want in a relationship? How do you stay happy?
With a lot of people struggling with so many issues in their relationships, it’s easy to think that conflicts are inevitable.
In reality, however, that’s not always the case. Although it’s normal for partners to experience problems, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be avoided. Here are some of the things you can do to get the most out of your relationship.
1. Be Flexible
When you and your partner is in disagreement, you have to be open and flexible. If you and your partner fail to compromise, there’ll be no solution to your problem.
Although it’s easy to think that your opinion is the best, you also have to listen to what your partner has to say. Take for example picking out the best movie. You may find it easy to say you’ve seen the best, but, in reality, there are tons of movies you haven’t seen yet. The same idea applies to your relationship. Your partner can also have some good solutions you’ve never considered before.
2. Remember That You’re On The Same Side
A relationship is a partnership. Whether you’re already married or you’re just starting out with your relationship, you already have reached an agreement or understanding. This agreement should be mutual and not antagonistic or opposed to both of your values.
When you approach disagreements, you should focus on finding a solution instead of treating it as a competition. When you fight less with each other, you get to put all your energy into solving the current issue.
See Also: Four ways to save your relationship
3. Stay in Physical Contact
Try to sit together, hold hands, touch knees or just be close to each other. Most of the time, physical contact can communicate deeper than words.
And when you’re connected with your partner in this level, you’ll be able to understand each other better. Researchers have found that two people separated visually can communicate emotions by touch better than what most people expect.
4. Speak Personally
Don’t talk about your partner’s shortcomings to other people. Instead, communicate your issues with your partner personally. Letting other people know your internal conflicts won’t help solve them.
When talking to your partner about your concerns, make sure to use a friendly tone. Say “I’m feeling cold” rather than “You pulled the blanket off me,” or “I feel Johnny needs more independence” rather than “You spoil him too much.” This eliminates the blaming tone that can put the other party in defensive mode.
5. Practice Active Listening
When your partner is speaking, listen attentively to what he’s saying. Focusing on your reply can make you miss out on what he’s trying to say. Instead of focusing on yourself, try your best to see where your partner is coming from.
Take the moment as the best time to understand your partner’s viewpoint and how he sees the world. You’ll be amazed at how this little action can greatly improve your relationship.
Following these tips can do great things to your relationship. For one, it allows you to find something that will work best for both of you. And since it’s a compromise, you get to solve your issues without causing additional conflicts and misunderstanding. It can also help you understand your partner better, particularly during the tough times.
Of course, this isn’t a one-time process. You need to put these tips into constant practice to deeply engrave it in your relationship.
Based on personal experience, we can assure you that this approach works. We have been together for 11 years without any argument and still rejoice every day in the pleasure of each other’s company.
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Maude and Phil Mayes wrote Secrets of a Successful Relationship Revealed and How Two: Have a Successful Relationship. They write a weekly relationship newsletter, and a blog at http://philandmaude.co