He Says He Wants To Be Friends But His Actions Show Different (18 Signs You Need To Know)
There is no doubt that men indeed sometimes send mixed signals that can actually be very much confusing. Also, it is a fact that we do not mind readers who can know that what is running in their minds.
So, tell me that have you ever had a guy in your life who says that he only wants to be friends with you but if you look at his actions and behavior, you find it contradicting with his words?
Have you ever had a person in your life who sends this kind of mixed signals or kind of mixed messages that you are not sure of?
Is there someone in your life who drives you crazy by telling you that only wants to be friends but his actions are exactly opposite to it?
If your answer to all of these above-asked questions is yes, then believe me that this whole article will be very beneficial for you.
In this article, we will talk about the chemistry that he is trying to have with you and also about the crazy confusing signals that he is showing.
I can also understand this aspect that when you love someone, then definitely you also want that other person to love you as well. When one person describes his feelings for someone, then he definitely also wants to know regarding the feelings that the other person has for him.
So, the same is the situation here, as you may probably have told your crush that how much you love him, but it might be possible that the reply that you may have got to this statement would be that he just wants to be friends.
Well, even after such a statement, it is still possible that your crush still gives you some confusing signals and it may seem to you that his actions don’t show that he only wants to be friends.
Therefore, this article will help you in analyzing and solving such a problem. Further, in this article, you will also be told about some signs that can tell you that what the intentions of your so-called “only friends” person are.
All the signs will help you in identifying the actions of your guy friend.
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Not only this, but this article will also shed some light on the aspect when someone is trying to hide their emotions of love and so on.
This article will definitely be very much informative and it is surely going to help you in your serious relationship.
Table of Contents
- ❣️ Here are the 18 signs you need to know when he says he wants to be friends but his actions show different ❣️
- ❣️ Signs He Just Wants To Be Friends ❣️
- ▣ How To Tell If Someone Likes You But Is Hiding It ▣
- ❖ Signs a guy likes you more than a friend and maybe falling for you ❖
- 🧐 Conclusions 🧐
- 🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔
❣️ Here are the 18 signs you need to know when he says he wants to be friends but his actions show different ❣️
So, firstly, we are going to take a look at some of the signs that you definitely need to know when your crush or love tells you that he only wants to be friends with you, but when you take a look at his actions, then you find it contradicting.
Now, you might be wondering that what attention means here and how it can tell you that the other individual wants to be more than just being friends.
Well, the thing that I am trying to tell here is that so called buddy of yours pays so much attention to the things that are related to you, then you can consider that the situation is as you have had predicted.
Is it that the person remembers everything about you? Does he try to note down every small detail that is associated with you?
For instance, does that person notice even the slightest changes that you make to your appearance or so?
Well, if your answer to these above-mentioned questions is yes, then one thing that I can surely tell you is that the person definitely wants to be more than just friends with you.
To be honest, the thing here is that if that person just wants to be friends, then why does he notice even the smallest detail that is associated with you.
This indeed only happens if a person is interested or attracted towards the other individual so much.
Hence, these types of actions of that person clearly indicates that he wants to be more than just friends with you.
2. Enjoys your company constantly
This is also a sign that can tell you whether he is just a buddy or wants to be more than just being friends.
The point here is that if that person enjoys being in your company and wants to be with you, then it is definitely a clear indication that he is taking a keen interest in you.
Have you not wondered that why would someone who says that he just wants to be friends would try to spend so much time with you and would enjoy your company so much?
Well, surely the answer to this question is because that person is interested in you. It may be that he fears expressing it but the thing remains here that he is interested in you.
3. Talks to you constantly
Again, a very important sign, and according to this what I mean is that you may notice that the person always tried to find ways to talk to you and to connect with you.
If this is the thing, then I assure you that it is among the mixed signals that he is trying to not only be friends but definitely more than that.
I am not saying that no talk happens in a friendship, but the thing that I am trying to tell here is that you yourself will observe that these types of talks would feel different.
The person will always love to hear you and talk to you. He will talk to you constantly day and night and this is definitely an indication of attractiveness and the keen interest that he has in you.
It will appear to you that the guy can’t help himself but to spend time with you.
4. Becomes jealous
Has it ever happened to you that the guy giving you mixed signals and saying that we are just good friends become jealous when you talk about someone else?
If this has happened to you, then this is because the other guy wants to be more than just friends with you.
If he is a person who gets jealous of other people when you talk about them, then believe me that there is no clearer sign than this. It is a clear indication that he really wants to be more than being just friends with you.
You will observe that when you mention someone else or even talk to some other guy, then he gets jealous. You will clearly feel the jealousy that he is having.
Based on the above-mentioned point, you may even notice a change in the voice and tone of the person and if he gets jealous over this specific thing, then it is a clear indication that he has got a feeling for you and wants to be more than just friends with you.
5. Helps you
Your crush or the guy may tell you that he is being just friends with you and may even friend zone you, but a sign that can help you to identify this thing clear is that whether he helps you out in almost everything or not?
What I am trying to say here is that is it that whatever help you need, that person is always available?
Whenever you need something, you can rely upon him knowing that on your one call, he will be in front of you, ready to help you?
Well, if this is the thing in your situation, then I am telling you that his actions are definitely speaking much louder than his words.
I am not trying to say here that friends usually do not help each other, well friends also try to help each other but the thing that I am trying to say is that being able to help in every aspect is a bit concerning thing.
If someone is available to you at the drop of your hat, then such a situation is an indication of a romantic relationship.
This also indicates the strong feelings that the person has for you or else why would someone try to be a hero for you? Why would someone have hero instincts for a female friend only?
This is a clear indication of the interest that the person is taking into you and definitely although he says he wants to be friends his actions show different.
6. Hero instincts
Hero instincts are also a major sign when someone wants to be more than just friends with you.
Wondering what actually is a hero instinct? Well, this is actually a concept in relationship psychology and if we talk about this buzzing concept, then according to this, a man tries to be a hero for the women whom he loves and is attracted towards.
Definitely, a very major sign that can help you in identifying whether the so-called only buddy of yours has romantic feelings for you or not?
If we think about the psychology of men, then they actually show these hero instincts of there when they are attracted towards someone whom they care about.
This being hero stuff provides internal satisfaction to men when they are a hero for a person whom they love and care about. So, these type of hero instincts is a clear indication that the guy really cares about you and wants to be more than just friends with you.
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7. Tries to protect you
If we account for the psychology of a man, then a man will try everything that they can to protect a person whom they really love or care about.
So, this is a sign that you have to look when you want to know whether someone is just a buddy of yours or has got feelings for you. It will help you to clearly identify a person who has feelings for you and cares about you.
If the person always jumps into tricky situations so that you can remain safe and protected, then it is a clear indication that he definitely wants to be more than just being friends with you.
This is because if we take a look at male psychology, then they will do everything that they can in order to protect someone whom they love and care about. A man develops a kind of hero instincts for a person whom they love and have feelings for.
Therefore, if he tries to protect you in every difficult situation you are in, then it is a clear sign about the love and feelings that he has for you and that he wants to be more than just friends with you.
8. Flirty teasing
Again, a sign that can help you identify that whether he has got feelings for you or not?
Well, the thing is that we do know that teasing happens between friends, but the fact is that the teasing taking place between friends is not a flirty one. A flirty teasing only happens when someone has feelings for you and loves you.
Therefore, this is the thing that you need to look for. If a person wants more than just friendship from you, then you will notice that the teasing generally takes on a flirty tone as it progresses.
Hence, it is a clear sign when someone is interested in you and has got feelings for you deep inside his heart.
9. Curious about you
Now, this is a sign that you need to look for if you want to know that the guy who says that he is just friends with you wants more or not?
The point here is that individual curious about you? Does it appear to you that he takes way much interest in your world? Do you feel that he is so much interested in knowing that what is happening in your world?
If your answer to all of these questions about his being curious is yes, then believe me that he is not just a buddy of yours but he really wants more than just mere friendship with you.
10. Peeks in your love life
Again a point that is almost similar to the above-mentioned point that if this good guy of yours takes a peek in your personal life and says that both of you are just good friends, then I really doubt this thing.
A best friend or even just a friend doesn’t do these types of things generally.
You may observe that this so-called best friend of yours tries to keep an eye on your love life. He tries to know everything that is happening in your relationship. He may show deep interest in whom you are dating or who is trying to approach you.
All of these things actually indicate that how much that guy is interested in you and that he has got feelings for you. Because no one is this freedom that he tries to keep an eye on your relationship world that who is entering it or not.
So, if this is the situation that you are caught into, then believe me that although he says he wants to be friends his actions show different.
11. Keeps an eye on your date
Such type of people who are interested in you will probably keep an eye on your personal or relationship life. So, considering this point, if you have a good friend, and he gives you kind of mixed signals, then it is a clear indication that he has an interest in you.
So, one such sign that you can look for in order to identify this is that you may observe that he keeps an eye on your relationship status. Such a friend peeks into your personal or relationship life and not only this, but you may observe that he also keeps an eye on who your date is and so on.
Further, the thing is not limited to this only, but you may observe that he also tries to tell you that how your date is not suitable for you and that you can probably find someone much better as compared to that person.
Hence, it is also a clear sign that the person has got feelings for you and is really interested in you.
12. Prefers being alone with you
Have you ever wondered that why such a friend prefers meeting you alone?
Well, let me tell you one thing that if your friend will be interested in you, then the thing is that he will always prefer meeting you alone. You will observe that he will mostly enjoy your presence, your company and would always want that there is no third person among you two.
Such a person will want that there is none other in your friendship group or even when you are in your friendship group, then such a guy would always try to make an excuse so that both of you can have some time together.
This depicts nothing else but the pure love and interest that he has in you.
If this is the situation with you, then I can assure you that this guy is interested in you and really loves you.
13. Gives you time
Again, if he says he wants to be friends but his actions show different, then I can assure you that you can come to know this thing by observing this sign.
What you have to observe is that does this friend of yours always has time for you?
Even if this friend has his own plans, but still, he will make time for you and will always be there for you, then this is indeed based on pure interest and love.
In other words, we can say that this good guy who always makes time to be around you, to talk to you, or to do your required task, then this definitely is based on the interest that he has for you and it is definitely an indication that he doesn’t want friendship, rather he wants more than that such as a committed relationship.
Flirtiness can also be a major sign in this regard when you want to know that how much committed the other individual is or whether is he only a friend of yours or wants more than just being a friend?
The thing that you have to look for is that whether the guy is being flirty or not.
For instance, you can look for the kind of jokes that he makes. If he makes jokes that also have a part of sexual attachment or sexual tension to it, then it is an indication that he wants to be more than just a friend with you.
This is actually because aside from the jokes that he makes, with a touch of flirtiness in it, it indicates that the thin is more than just his words of being only a friend.
15. Is intimate with you
There is no doubt that body language can tell you a lot about the other individual. The same formula would be applied in this aspect as well. By observing the gestures of the guy, you can tell a lot of this about him including the feelings that he has for you.
Well, as far as the gestures of this guy is concerned who claims to be just your friend but his intentions depict otherwise, then you have to notice that does he try to be intimate with you?
Does that guy try to touch you whenever he can? Does he try to make a type of physical contact with you?
Does he try to sit very close to you? Does he often brush through your hair with his fingers?
So, these are the things that you need to pay attention to. If the same things are happening between you and the so-called only friend person, then I can assure you that he has got feelings for you and likes you.
16. Surprises you
If this friend of yours frequently gives you surprises, then one thing that I can sure tell you is that his actions are indeed speaking louder than his words.
Does he always try to surprise you and bring your favorite things to you? If this special guy just goes out of the way so that he can just surprise you, then I can assure you that although he says that he is just friends but his actions are definitely speaking much louder than his words.
Friends don’t go out in such a way just to give you a surprise, so you probably have to notice such a thing and then you yourself can judge that despite his statement that you are friends but his actions will surely tell you a different story.
17. Finds excuses to be close to you
He says he wants to be friends but his actions show different and these actions might tell you that he wants to have a real relationship with you.
You can come to know this by observing him. You may observe that this old friend of yours tries to find every possible excuse that he can so that he can just be close to you.
He tries to catch every moment that he can so that he can touch you and connect with you.
Such things are indeed an indication of the closeness that he feels with you and according to him, there is no doubt that both of you are friends but his actions speak otherwise.
18. Stream of texts
Does this friend of yours send you text messages regularly and frequently? If yes, then his actions are speaking louder than his words.
He may probably send you good morning texts on daily basis and not only in the morning, rather he may keep on sending you texts throughout the day. One point that I am trying to make here is that you may probably get a stream of messages and texts from this guy and he may always seem to be available to you.
Henceforth, it is a clear indication that he is not just a friend of yours, rather he wants to be more than just a friend because his actions are speaking way louder than his words.
Therefore, the following signs should be kept in mind as these will provide you a clear picture that although he says he wants to be friends his actions show different.
You just have to pay attention and identify such a guy who is showing mixed feelings or acts differently in this regard.
❣️ Signs He Just Wants To Be Friends ❣️
Now, if you are still at the same thing wondering that whether your guy friend is interested in you or does he only wants to be a friend with you, then I can help you in this regard.
Following are some of the signs that you can look for in this regard. These are the signs that you can identify and these will tell you whether or not he just wants to be a friend only.
⫸ Group hangings
If you and this guy buddy of yours hang out but in groups, then I can tell you that he only wants to be a friend with you. This is mainly because it is a gesture that indicates that you are friend-zoned.
Further, we can also take a look at this aspect by thinking that if he was interested in you or loved you, then both of you would have been going on dates or would probably be hanging out alone.
Therefore, these types of group hangings determine and imply that his main intentions are to be friends with you only.
⫸ Almost no physical contact
Now, this is also a very important point that you need to consider when you want to know that does your guy buddy only wants to be a friend or not.
So, the thing is that you need to look at the aspect that does this friend of yours returns the physical contact or not.
What I mean by this point is that you need to observe that do you get a reply or a response when you try to connect with the person physically.
For instance, it is possible that when you reach out for his hand, then he may draw it back or similarly, drawing back from a hug.
Hence, if this is the case with you, then I can tell you that he only wants to be a friend with you. If you do not get a reply to the physical contact that you have, then this is probably because he has no intentions towards you and only wants to be close friends with you, nothing else.
⫸ Being busy
If you frequently listen to the phrase “I am busy right now” from that guy buddy of yours, then again, it is a clear indication that both of you are just friends and nothing else.
This being busy can actually be an excuse for the thing that he just wants to be away from you at the moment. This definitely doesn’t happen in between lovers. But among friends, you can hear this more often.
Hence, if to your call or anything else, if you get the response that he is busy, then it is an indication that both of you are just friends and that guy doesn’t have any strong feelings for you.
⫸ No compliments
Now, this is also a very important sign that you can look for. The thing that you have to observe is that does he give you a compliment when you compliment him. What it means is that to your compliment do you receive a reply compliment or not?
If you don’t get a response compliment from him, then it kind of indicates that both of you are just friends.
So, you might probably get “Thanks” as a response to the compliment that you gave him. Hence, no need to generate a false hope and develop a wrong impression as this indicates that he just thinks of you as a friend.
⫸ Doesn’t work on appearance to see you
Again, it is a very important point that you can consider as it can tell you whether he is just a friend with you or has intentions for you.
The thing that you have to observe is that does this friend of yours get ready and work on his appearance before meeting you or seeing you?
If the response to this question is “No”, then sadly for him you are just a friend.
Why I am saying this is because human psychology tells us that a man is more likely to work on his appearance in front of that woman he loves.
Hence, if he doesn’t work on his appearance prior to seeing you, then both of you are just friends.
So, these were some of the signs that can tell you whether a friend of yours is attracted to you or not?
▣ How To Tell If Someone Likes You But Is Hiding It ▣
Well, there are many signs that you can look for. These signs can actually help you identify if someone is secretly liking you or not or if someone likes you but is hiding his feelings.
◈ Tries to be around you
If you have a friend in your circle who always tries to stay around you or to be around you, then it is an indication that he likes you but is hiding his feelings for you.
What you will observe is that he would try to be around only you. Being around only you would make him comfortable. Hence, if someone has feelings for you but is hiding these, then this is exactly what he will do.
◈ Tries to get close to you
Again, this point is a bit similar and identical to the previously mentioned point. The thing here is that in the same way, if he secretly loves you but is hiding it, then you will observe that he tries to get close to you in whatever way he can.
This getting close can be in terms of touching you as well. In the same way, it could be like sitting close to you or things like this.
◈ Doesn’t talk about other girls
If someone has a secret love for you, then you will observe that when they talk with you, they won’t talk about other women friends or female friends. You won’t see them talking about some other female friends.
If that individual doesn’t talk about other women in front of you, then it is an indication that he loves you secretly.
◈ Available for you
If an individual loves someone, then he is always there to help that person and is always available for that person.
So, you have to look for this thing that when someone loves you and is hiding it, then you will see that he will always be available to you for anything. He would indeed be the most reliable person or dependable person that you can get.
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◈ Teases you
This is also an important sign that can tell you if he loves you and is hiding it.
The thing is that does he try to tease you or kind of subtly flirt with you when he is around you?
If your answer is yes, then probably he is in love with you and is hiding his feelings.
So, these are some of the signs that can help you identify if someone is secretly liking you or not?
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❖ Signs a guy likes you more than a friend and maybe falling for you ❖
Following are the signs that can tell you if he likes you more than a friend and maybe falling for you as well.
If the person gives you all the attention when you are around, then it is a clear indication that he likes you more than just a friend. This is because normally men don’t give this type of attention to someone until and unless they have fallen in love with that individual.
So, if you are the center of attention for that person, then he definitely wants to be more than just a friend.
➣ Good listener
Now, you might be wondering that why I am mentioning a good listener here.
Well, the thing that I am trying to tell you here is that if that person is a good listener, meaning that if he listens to each and everything that you tell him and that if he remembers every detail that you tell him, then it is a clear indication that he is trying to be more than just a friend with you.
It is possible that he may remember the things that you told him weeks ago. Hence, it is an indication that he is falling for you.
➣ Surprises you
If you often get surprises from such type of a person, then it is also an indication that he is in love with you. You may observe that he usually goes out of the way just to surprise you. Well, this is a clear indication that he wants to be more than just a friend.
➣ Tries to spend time with you alone
Again, a very important sign that can tell you if he wants to be a friend only or more than that.
The thing here is that if a person is interested in you, then he will try to spend more time with you alone. You might have been noticing for the past few months. You may observe that for the past few months, that one right person is trying to be with you alone for some time.
This is a clear indication that he has got feelings for you and will ultimately start dating you.
➣ Body language
As it is said that body language can tell you a lot about the other person. Mostly, the guy tells you that he likes you but if not so, then you can find this out through his body language.
For instance, you may observe that the person tries to sit close to you or tries to make physical contact with you. You may notice that whenever he gets the opportunity, he tries to touch you or tries to comb your hair through his fingers.
All of these are the gestures and signs that you can look for, and eventually, all of the above-mentioned signs will help you in identifying whether a person is just a friend or wants to be more than just a friend.
Should I stay friends with a guy who rejected me?
Well, if you ask for my opinion on this specific matter, then I would probably say that it is all up to you. Staying friends with a person is not bad after all. There are people who really don’t mind staying friends after some attraction between them but there are some people who mind as well.
Therefore, I will leave all of this on you and would say that it is all up to you whether or not you want to be friends with a person who rejected you. But despite this, one thing that I want to say is that one should not take rejection as an attack on oneself.
Just think that both of you were actually not suitable for each other. And above all, if you are staying friends with each other, then it is probably a good thing until and unless you are being hurt emotionally.
Therefore, based on all of this discussion I can conclude that staying friends with a person who rejected you is not a bad thing after all. Don’t take rejection as an attack. Rather think of it as something appropriate for both of you and therefore, in my opinion, there is nothing being friends with an individual who rejected you.
Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?
Well, this is probably a difficult and complex question to answer. But still, for a woman, this is a very frustrating situation in which she keeps on wondering that why does he keep her around if he doesn’t want a relationship.
Well, generally speaking, there can be a number of reasons to justify this thing. It is possible that for him, you might have become like a habit and habits generally are difficult to break. So, you might have become so ingrained in his life that he wants you to be around him.
Further, there is a possibility that he himself is unaware that what he wants. And this being unaware of what he wants makes him feel that you should be around him. Similarly, it is possible that he doesn’t want to be alone and because of this, he wants you to be around him.
Not only this but there are certainly other reasons as well that can justify this thing. Such as there is a possibility that he doesn’t want to hurt you and because of this, he wants you to be around him. Similarly, a possibility is that he might be a possessive man and because of his possessive nature, he doesn’t want anyone to have you and so, he doesn’t let you go as well.
Or another reason can be that he might be scared of getting into such a scenario or is afraid of commitment. Hence, these are some of the possible reasons that can justify that why he keeps you around even if he doesn’t want a relationship.
Why does he only want me as a friend with benefits?
Actually, the answer to this lies in the question itself. Are you wondering that why he wants you as a friend with benefits? Well, this is simply because of the benefits. It can be a possibility that the person is trying to use you for some specific benefits.
This actually depicts the greedy nature of that person who wants to be your friend only so that he can get benefit from you. You will mean to that person or he will value you till you are of some benefit to him. Once he has gained his benefit and has nothing more to gain, then he will probably leave you. Hence, benefits are the main reason that he wants you to be their friend.
Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?
Actually, I would like to link this thing with the hormones present in individuals. It is a very concerning question that why do people pull away and distance themselves after intimacy.
Well, the thing is that when a man is having sex or is being intimate, then his testosterone levels rise up, and soon after the orgasm, the testosterone levels decrease or goes back to normal.
This decrease in the hormonal levels causes him to be like a less man and it makes him feel the need to pull away.
Therefore, you may think that after intimacy, he is acting weird, and seems to be pulling away. It may make you feel that he is losing interest in you but this is mostly because of the reduction in testosterone levels. Eventually, when he will gain back the specific hormonal levels in his body, then he will gain back interest in you.
Henceforth, all of this lack of interest or the distancing after intimacy can be associated to the decrease in testosterone levels in the body of a man.
🧐 Conclusions 🧐
If you are in such a situation in which he says he wants to be friends but his actions show different as compared to this, he gives you mixed signals and his actions tell you a different story, then I think that you need to analyze things and observe from a specific point of view.
You need to look for the signs that we have already discussed above. These signs will surely help you in getting a much clear picture of the whole scenario and will tell you about the intentions of this guy friend of yours.
🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔
Do guys ever want to be just friends?
Well, in the case of a man and a woman, I would say that my answer would be “no”. The reason that why I am saying so is because if we take a look at these opposite-sex friendships, then these usually have some different yet specific goals and desires.
Therefore, in my opinion, no one would want to be just friends with someone else of the opposite sex until and unless they have some goals and desires that they want to be fulfilled.
Why would a man want to stay friends?
There are actually certain reasons or justifications for this specific thing that why would a man want to stay friends with you. It is possible that he doesn’t want to hurt you and your feelings and because of this, he wants to be friends with you. Similarly, it is also possible that he wants you to be his friend because he might have benefits to gain from you and so on.
So, there can be various reasons as mentioned above that can justify that why he wants to stay friends with you.
Does he see me as more than a friend?
There are various signs that can actually help you identify whether you are just a friend or he sees you more than just a friend.
For instance, you may observe that he always has time for you. He is always available to you. Whenever you need him, he will be there for you. He probably surprises you out of the way and tries to spend time with you alone. Further, different body signs can also tell you a lot about him. It is possible that he tries to be intimate with you and develop physical contact with you. Similarly, he tries to contact you and talk to you whenever he can.
So, these are the signs that tell you that he wants to be more than just friends with you.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.