20 Ways On How to get a guy to ask you out

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

You have found your picture perfect. He’s got all you want in a man.

But he’s not making any moves.

If this is you, then you need to read this piece stealthily. In this article, you have 20 simple ways you can ask him out.

Photo credit: Unsplash.com
Photo credit: Unsplash.com

Quick one – don’t just pick a point and dash out. No no. You’ll need to read through every bit of this article to know which and which would work for you. That said, let’s get started!

❣️ Here are the 20 Ways On How to get a guy to ask you out ❣️

1. Master the use of eye contact

Photo credit: Pixabay.com
Photo credit: Pixabay.com

If you want to get a man crazy about you, then, you must be ready to go beyond just talking. You must have heard of thinking outside the box, right? It is applicable even here.

As a lady, your body language is one of your best bets to get your crush on your side.

Start by making eye contact. Whenever you’re conversing, try and lock your eyes into his, for a second or two. You must be careful not to make it obvious though. Just before you look away, flash a beautiful smile.

You know what? You’ve just pulled away some of the roadblocks. He’s at least convinced that you’re interested in him. If he’s held back from approaching you because he wasn’t sure you wanted him, be sure he’s going to make a move right away.

Another trick is to learn to use your hands. Your soft touch can get the message across to him faster than you think. You’re seated together on a sofa, don’t just stand like a military officer, put your hand on his lap as support. What about gently moving your palm over his?

Just be romantic and creative.

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2. Always look good

Do you have your eyes on a man, and you readily can’t figure out how to get him over? Your appearance is another killer option.

An average man’s heart melts sighting a woman’s physical features. You know what I mean, right?

See, you don’t have to sit till your crush makes advances. Get him into it with your look.

A good way to start is to keep a sharp eye on what you wear, especially if it is your first date.

If you’ve got a curvy waist, don’t just put on pajamas-like clothes. With that kind of body shape, your considerations should be more of a combo of gowns and belts that would amplify what you have in stock. Having your sexy legs in short skirts could earn you the attention you desire.

Dressing to “kill” is not the only way to get his attention. Learn to choose your colors well also. Not all colors can give that gorgeous look you need to meet your man’s heart.

If you’re not fashion-conscious, this could take you a while to figure out. But trust me, the gain is worth the pain.

3. Don’t act desperate

When your eyes have been on a guy for a while, and an event finally brings you together, chances are that you’ll be desperate to shoot your shot. And in case you don’t know, desperation is not like a can of perfume that the moment it is released, there’s nothing you can do to stop the smell.

Most guys are known for something – they tend to pull away when women seem pressing with their romantic offer.

For them, you are nothing more than a cheap and desperate lady. And that’s enough to get you less attractive to him.

Don’t just throw yourself on him just because you want him. Nothing is fascinating about him having you any time he wants.

If you overdo your moves, he would find out, and that might come back to bite you in the butt in the long haul. So baby girl, go a step at a time. Give out signals, but at the same time, don’t try too hard.

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4. Keep your confidence through the roof

We’ve talked about keeping your moves moderate, another sure way is to play your game with confidence. And from research, most women struggle to get around this when they have their eyes on a guy.

To start with, learn to talk boldly. There’s a way the thoughts of disapproval make us air our opinions timidly.

Look, even when it seems he has a conflicting opinion, don’t just pocket your thoughts. Be confident enough to challenge him with your ideas.

But mind you, do so courteously. There’s a huge difference between being confident and being arrogant.

Don’t always clear your throats before talking. He’s your man crush, so what exactly is the point in being shy? I know you sometimes worry about not saying what wouldn’t be of interest to him. But for crying out loud, how on earth would you know what doesn’t interest him by keeping your mouth zipped?

Being confident on its own is a romantic way to show him your value.

5. Be yourself

There’s this temptation of faking appearances and interests when you’re trying to get a guy’s attention. You just want to try all you can to get him to ask you out.

However, once you start putting up an appearance, you’re already on the bad side of things. I know several love birds who have dissimilar interests.

Besides, you can’t fake some things. You can imagine staging to be a Chelsea supporter because your man crush is a die-hard Arsenal fan. It’s just a matter of time before he finds out you’re faking it. The flow won’t just be there. And when he finally discovered you deceived him, it could be bad luck that is difficult to fix.

There’s no wrong in trying to pick up some of his interests, but don’t pretend to be wild about them. In a nutshell, be the real you.

6. Tell him sweet things

You love to be complimented as a woman, isn’t it? Men do not hate it either. That’s a fact not known to many.

Well-constructed compliments can melt a man’s heart in no small way. Say sweet things about his character, his physique, his appearances, his diction.

Your crush is putting on a pair of shoes that perfectly matches his clothes, don’t just look past it and say “hello James!” Telling him how cute he looks won’t bite.

You and I know this is not what a man gets every day. So hearing it from the sonorous voice of a damsel could really get him crazy in a big way.

If you want to roll the same love boat with your guy friend, saying something nice to him would go a long way to help.

7. Make him comfortable around you

Photo credit: Burst.shopify.com
Photo credit: Burst.shopify.com

You want your man crush to ask you out and you don’t care to leave memorable moments with him when you meet, tell me when you wake up from your dreams.

Men hold back from asking women out not because women are unattractive. Nada! In some cases, they are not just bold enough to make the move.

So if you want him and all you do is to keep a long face claiming to be difficult, you are only making matters worse.

Another subtle way a man could become uncomfortable is when all your dates are in the company of your other people. There won’t be that freedom of expression, so to say.

Spend time with him alone. And anytime you meet, be approachable.

8. Take your friendship some miles further

You and your man crush are best of friends. You gist and cruise life together. That’s fine. It is a good way to start. But you know what, if that’s all to it, he might just see you as one of those in his circle. Oh yeah!

Don’t just be friend-zoned, my dear.

Wait. You are an intelligent, smart, beautiful, and humorous woman. Tell me, why won’t he enjoy having you around? Baby girl, you are a whole vibe to him!

So be sure you’re not just in a friend zone, where all your crush sees in you is a trusted ally. Take it higher. Give him signals. Spice up your rapport a little more. Smile at him. Touch him.

All in all, don’t just play the friendship game. Quit being just friends.

9. Be attentive when he’s speaking

You want to melt his heart that it’d be hard for him to reject you, right? Then give him your attention anytime you’re together.

Here’s one thing you must know – everybody loves that friend that would always care to hear out their views, no matter how horrible it may sound. If you want to get him to ask you out, be that woman.

Even if you seemingly do not have common interests. Besides the fact that paying attention would make him feel loved and appreciated, you can easily pick up insights on how to get his heart.

10. Trigger his hero instinct

Hero instinct is a term in relationship psychology that describes that masculine feature in men that makes them feel like “machos” for their women.

By nature, men are protective, and they love being appreciated for it. Don’t always decline his help.

This could be something difficult to accept. After all, you’re doing fine all-around. You have a well-paying job, and your business is flourishing.

But you see, you need to make him see that he completes you in such a way that you will want him to stay. Your Independence has to in some way now to this masculine instinct.

This is not to say you should roll all your needs to him. Hell no! All I’m saying is allow him to protect and care for you. Let him be your hero.

To be honest, your ability to trigger a man’s hero instinct is one of the most efficient skills you need to get him to fall in love with you.

11. Make him your gist partner

Photo credit: Gettyimages.com
Photo credit: Gettyimages.com

If you want him to get into you, then, don’t just say “hello” to each other. You should know he has a lot of people telling him that already.

You’ve got to gradually build your level of intimacy. If he’s going to stay and remain with you, your rapport has to be top-notch.

Even if you just met and you know close to nothing about him, there are ways you can get him to be your gist partner.

The first is to hook up with him on social media. And then from his profile, you can pick one or two things.

If you are coworkers, you can start up something from your lunch breaks. It’s even better if you’re in the same department.

In your chats, be smart enough to drop hints that you want him in your life.

Who knows if he’s been taking his time to confirm you’re available for a romantic relationship?

12. Share your plan for the future with him

In a case where a man wants a serious relationship, the woman has to show some signs of commitment. You are his fan of life, so, you shouldn’t be unwilling to discuss what you’re up to with him.

You both should be mutual friends.

Talk about your plan for the weekend. Do you plan to go see a movie in the cinema? Or do you want to take time out to have some bed rest? Go beyond your regular activities. Tell him about your career plans.

From your conversation, he might pick up interest in you, and before you know it, you are best friends already.

13. Be humorous

Sometimes, you wonder if some ladies are true about their feelings for their man-crush with the way they interact with them.

You want him to ask you out and your conversations are in no way different from your chat with your grandpa. Nada, things don’t work that way. Girl, if you really want him to notice you, then you should be on your toes with keeping every moment with him full of vibe.

I’m not saying you should turn all your hangouts into comedy shows. Far from it. All I’m saying is – fill everywhere with happiness anytime you’re with him. Putting up a good sense of humor in relating with your crush makes the ground softer for you to till.

Even if you’re not the extra humorous type, try and figure out simple things you can do or say that would make him smile.

Trust me if you keep at it, it won’t be long before you both will start having inside jokes.

14. Seldom end conversations abruptly

Cutting off the flow with your man when the vibe is in full swing is the last thing most women would want to do. Well, I understand their concern.

However, if it’s a man who has been a friend for a while, getting him to ask you out might involve making him miss you.

Do you know why?

The fact that you’ve been together for a while and he’s not making any advancement could be because he has unrestricted access to you anytime any day.

So, once in a while, abruptly end your late-night conversations. Tell him good night. Let him know you want to catch enough rest.

This would get him crazy about you. Once that artificial absence is there, he’ll begin to see how much of a value you are.

15. Hang out together

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com
Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

If you’ll get your man crush to notice you at all, then you both have to be on a good level of rapport. You should know some simple details about him – his likes, dislikes, aspirations.

And if he’s a new catch, getting those details might be a bit of a challenge.

Here’s an idea – smartly make him hang out with you. That sounds crazy, right? Not as much as you think anyway. Once you’re smart enough to find a balance.

If he’s your coworker, you can go for lunch together. It’s easier if you’re classmates, you have a handful of ways to get his attention. You can read and solve assignments.

Pro tip: don’t leave the moment dry in your hang out. If you do your job well, he will be the one to request another.

16. Flirt with him a little

Photo credit: Unsplash.com
Photo credit: Unsplash.com

Hey, girl. He’s not your brother, so you shouldn’t just put things on a low level. It is astonishing how some women would just expect guys to ask them out without flirting with them.

As I said earlier about body language, actions can speak way louder than words.

Endeavor to make romantic eye contact. You know what I mean, right? The type that you lock your eyes in his with a sweet smile. Touch him. Do all you can to keep the sexual tension between you on the rise.

However, don’t go all the way throwing yourself on him like a desperate soul. Even as you flirt with him, find a balance.

17. Avoid Obsession

This is where many women miss the target. Trying to show your man that you want him does not include being obsessed with him.

I know you like him, but going all the length to make him see it might end up in an obsession. The moment you can’t help but send him love messages and call him, you’re already stalked in him. And trust me, no man wants to have a burdensome partner.

Let him know you love him but don’t force yourself on him. Keep it simple and real. Give some breathing spaces.

On a general rule, the more you appear desperate to a man, the lower your chances of winning his heart. And that is exactly what obsession does. It presents you as a desperate woman who is hungry for love.

18. Ask him for a help

Photo credit: Gettyimages.com
Photo credit: Gettyimages.com

Another way you can turn your man-crush on is to ask him for a favor. You might be thinking that’s unnecessary. After all, you have it all. Would you not rather let go of your ego and have the guy?

Look, every man appreciates women who treat them like a hero. Of course, that doesn’t imply you should become over-dependent.

For instance, while hanging out, you can play the regular menstrual cramps and ask if he could help you home. That’s not so difficult to do, right? If you’re both college mates, you can ask him to explain something your lecturer mentioned in passing.

However, don’t overdo this so you won’t appear to be parasitic.

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19. Make him jealous

If you have a good rapport with him, you can consider inspiring some jealousy in him. Women have commendable expertise in this so I won’t say much about it.

Invite your friends for some of your hangouts and appear to give more attention to them. If you’re colleagues at work or school, make him see you discuss with other guys. No man will see his star girl leave him for another guy and not be jealous.

But do this with caution. Know when to call it to quit. You must be able to find a good balance to get the results you desire.

20. Be patient

Finally, be patient. Have you done it all and nothing seems to work? I have this to say – give it some time.

Sometimes, we want things to happen real fast. You want him to ask you out on the first date, you want him to give you all the attention in this world. That’s a good dream, girl. But then, you and I know that’s not always the case. Sometimes, things go a bit slower than expected.

A little bit of patience would help you figure out what you’re not getting right.

💝 Ways To Ask A Guy Out 💝

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com
Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

◉ Send him romantic text messages

Photo credit: Istockphoto.com
Photo credit: Istockphoto.com

It is a tug of war for most women to confess their love to their man-crush. If this is the case with you too, then send him well-crafted love messages with your smartphone.

◉ Drop notes for him

Another simple way to get his love is to drop notes for him. This is easier if you are colleagues at work. Hide sweet notes telling him you like him in his diary or on his desk.

◉ Propose a hangout

Sometimes all you need to get hold of your man’s emotion is a romantic environment – maybe a restaurant, a cinema, or a green area. Before you go out, investigate what his passions are. That way, you will be able to keep your conversation within the scope of his interest.

◉ Try the “wing woman” technique

If approaching him is something you feel you can’t do, then try out the “wing woman” trick. Find a trusted friend to do the talking on your behalf.

◉ Flirt with him

Finally, don’t have dry chats, flirt with him. Ask him what gift his girlfriend bought for him on his last birthday. Find out if they are still together. If he responds with a “No,” smartly shoot your shot.

📱 Text Messages guys love to receive 📱

Photo credit: Burst.shopify.com
Photo credit: Burst.shopify.com

🔅 Spending time

Each time we spend time together leaves me desiring more. You’re every woman’s dream man.

🔅 Presence

You’re a whole vibe. Everywhere shines brighter when we are together.

🔅 Memories

Every moment with you is like an ideal hush atmosphere with a cool breeze breathing around me.

It’s such an honor to know you. Every moment with you proves to me again and again that life is beautiful.

🔅 Worth

I needed someone who wouldn’t just be a friend but a fan of life. Then BOOM, you stepped in, and everything turned my life around for good. You’re one in a million.

📀 Ways to Make Him Miss You 📀

Photo credit: Pixabay.com
Photo credit: Pixabay.com

⏺ Don’t just throw yourself on him

The fact that you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you throw yourself on a man like a towel. Nothing is fascinating in being over-dependent in a relationship.

Don’t give a “yes” every time he requests a hang-out. Look, the moment you hang your life on him like conjoined twins, there’s nothing to miss again about you.

⏺ Treat him as your hero

Can you remember what we said earlier about the hero instinct? It is not just applicable when you want to get a guy to like you. You can as well use it to spice up an ongoing relationship.

Compliment him for always standing in the gap every time you needed help. Respect and speak well of his care and love. You will be surprised how this would make him gush over you. Trust me, if you do it well, it works like magic.

⏺ Go a step at a time

A romantic relationship is not a marathon. So, you should learn to go a step at a time. This is a thing most women need to start paying finer attention to.

See, even if it’s a marriage-intended relationship, being rushy does nothing more than rob you of enjoying the perfect bliss you should have enjoyed at every stage.

If you’re able to master how to grow steadily in your love, you will leave more chances for him to miss you.

⏺ End the call before he does

I know he’s your best friend and you’re his biggest fan. But look, you’ve got to create an artificial absence once in a while at least. After a call, be the first to end the call. He’ll start missing you like crazy.

⏺ The body language technique

This is the craziest of all. Don’t just talk, get your body to do the job.

Make eye contact often, and don’t forget to leave a charming smile before looking away. Touch him. When he tells a joke, look him in the eye and flash a smile.

With your body language, you can always make your man want to have more of you.

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⛔ Things Never to Say to Your Crush! ⛔

💠 Extra-personal details about them

You just found out personal info about him and he doesn’t like talking about it, then, you shouldn’t bring it up either.

💠 Gist about your ex

The past is gone. Learn to allow bygones to remain bygone. Mentioning your ex to your crush might make him feel you’re still interested in him.

💠 One-word responses

This is a no-no if you want your crush to stay.

💠 Something you consider to be a secret about yourself and others.

🌞 How do you get your crush to like you? 🌞

Photo credit: Pexels.com
Photo credit: Pexels.com

Is your crush acting unconcerned even with your hints?

Don’t throw in the towel, try out these 5 ideas.

⫸Discover what they like

If you truly want to get the attention of your crush easily, try and get close to them. After getting close to them, calmly find out what their interest and hobbies are.

Once you have it all figured out, engage in the same things with your crush. How much fun you’ll have together would be influenced by how well you know each other.

⫸ Always support them

After becoming friends with your crush, try your best to make the friendship solid. Always make yourself available when they are distressed or anxious, that way you are building a bond.

⫸ Give them maximum attention whenever you are with them

It would be thoughtful to stay focused on just your crush whenever you are together. Avoid being glued to your phone.

You have to know one thing, do not follow your crush everywhere that tends to make you too clingy and might bore your crush. Giving your attention to your man is a piece of ageless relationship advice you should take seriously.

⫸ Dish out sweet compliments often

Men love to hear sweet things the same way women do. Naturally, when you pour out sweet compliments on someone often, it has a way of passing a message to them that you really have an interest in them.

To add extra sauce to this, you have to compliment even the smallest or strangest details you notice about your crush.

⫸ Feel confident

There are a few things you must put your eyes on to win your crush over. One of them Is to be confident.

You must believe this, people tend to like you when they see you feel confident about yourself. Just act like you are a big deal, act like someone who has got herself/himself together, like you just figured out what you truly want and deserve in life.

Every man wants a woman who appears fixed in her own skin.

🎇 How To Make Him Regret Rejecting You? 🎇

Has your cute guy rejected you and you’re scratching your head on simple ways to make him reject his action?

Do these four things.

Avoid the guy like a plague

Photo credit: Pexels.com
Photo credit: Pexels.com

When you stumble on him, just ignore him. Don’t talk to him, or smile at him.

This very act will get him furious, it would stir his emotions and somehow would induce a hunger to talk to you and he is likely to start to feel sorry for rejecting you.

● Be subtle with your discussion when he tries to interact with you

You have to keep your attitude cold and down. You can even act like you are bored already talking to him. Make him feel the detachment real hard. This would shake him and disturb his emotions and make him regret his actions.

● Spend quality time with other people where he can notice

If you both used to hang out before, try spending time with other people instead.

Go to those places you know he likes to hang out, when you notice him, laugh and play real hard with the person you are with. This will open his eyes to see you are pretty doing well for yourself without him and trust me, this has a way of making him have a rethink his actions.

● Always dress more beautifully than senses could bear

Make sure you always out there looking like a whole meal. When he sees you looking all gorgeous and adorable, he is likely to know you don’t even give a rat bum about his rejection.

🧐 Conclusions 🧐

You like him and he seems not to give a damn. Things go that way many times. Don’t back down. You can get him dancing to your tune with a combination of two or more of these 20 ways. And remember to always find a good balance. There’s nothing romantic in throwing yourself on a man’s neck like a tie. Go a step at a time to show him you want him.

🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔

What to text a guy to get him to ask you out?

It’s been a busy week for us both. Can we go see a movie together at the cinema this weekend?

How do I ask my crush out without getting rejected?

Approach him softly and ask if he could spare some time to have lunch together.

Do guys like it when you ask them out?

A: Most guys find it quite appealing when ladies ask them out. You know it’s not something they get to experience every day.

Know what exactly you need to Say To Get Him To Listen To You, Love You, And Appreciate You. CLICK HERE!

Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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