Have you ever imagined how it would be to gain a ton of self-confidence?
Every challenge would feel way easier to you. You would negotiate the pay raise you have been dreaming for years. You would ask out that girl you always think about.
And there’s a whole new world of possibilities…
It’s a shame that it’s just a dream…
Are you sure that it’s just a dream? What if it were possible?
Let me tell you a secret. Not only can you gain self-confidence, but it’s even easier than most people think. It’s all about knowing the right way to do it.
You know, I’m a huge fan of habits. The reason is simple. Habits are super-effective and don’t require much energy once they are ingrained. Besides, learning a new habit isn’t impossible – in the end, it’s just a matter of patience.
Here’s the trick: Adopt the right habits and your self-confidence will skyrocket before you even realize it.
1Change your focus
How many times have you told yourself “I can’t do that”? Well, that’s a horrible point of view. You are focusing on the problem, not the solution. Of course, you can’t do it, because if you have that thought, you won’t take action.
Instead of focusing on your problem, focus on the solution. That will make a world of a difference. Instead of telling yourself “I can’t do that”, ask yourself “HOW can I do that?”. You’ll start thinking about the multitude of ways in which you can solve the problem. And you will solve it – and as a result, your self-confidence will go up.
So, here’s the habit. Every time you think you can’t do something, change your focus to how you can do it.
2Exit your comfort zone when you need to
Your comfort zone is the set of actions you can take without feeling discomfort. We all spend most of our day in the comfort zone.
But sometimes, something makes us feel a little of discomfort – maybe a colleague you have a crush on just heard you said something embarrassing, maybe you just stumbled in front of a person you wanted to impress, etc…
Other times, we are required to take actions that make us feel discomfort. For example, you may have to call someone you haven’t heard in a while and ask him a favor.
Do you know the response of most of the people in the face of these situations? They run away, trying to avoid discomfort. The problem is that doing so undermines your self-confidence.
Here’s what to do instead. Every time you find yourself in an embarrassing situation, don’t run away. Stay in the discomfort and feel it. Every time you have to do something that embarrasses, don’t avoid it – do it.
Do you want to know what will happen? The amazing truth is that you won’t die! You will realize that discomfort isn’t that bad after all. And your self-confidence will grow a lot.
Make this a habit and you’ll be very self-confident.
3Work on your body language
Do you want to know what’s the fastest way to gain self-confidence? It’s to assume the posture of a self-confident person.
Countless studies have shown that our inner thinking conditions the body. However, the reverse is also true. Therefore, by changing your posture, you will change your feelings and thoughts.
This is especially important if you don’t exercise regularly and if you work sitting at a desk. Do postural exercises or practice any physical activity that positively affects your posture – like swimming and yoga. In addition, put your focus on your body and assume a more dominant posture often – especially when you need to take important decisions.
4Improve your voice
Like body language, your voice is a reflection of your inner world. A self-confident person speaks with a higher voice volume – of course, he/she can still whisper when needed! Thus, speaking with a higher voice volume will make you feel more confident.
This means that working on your voice volume regularly (let’s say 10-20 minutes, 2-3 times a week), will make a big difference. Also, put your efforts into noticing when you decrease your voice volume when speaking with others – and increase it, within reason of course.
5Read inspiring thoughts
Your mind is like a sponge. It absorbs whatever gets to it. It means that if you feed your mind with horrible information, it will produce lots of horrible thoughts. If you feed it with wonderful information, it will produce lots of wonderful thoughts.
You can leverage this by adopting a very smart habit. Read inspiring thoughts/information frequently and your way thinking will improve continuously. Which means that you will feel good and make better choices. And as a result of both, your self-confidence will increase.
You have plenty of choices. Read a good book from a great person, listen to an inspiring speech, read a great personal improvement blog, enjoy a powerful quote, and so on. The are so many possibilities!
6Change the words you use
Have you ever noticed that the way in which you talk to yourself changes the way you feel? Well, the truth is that even changing a single word can make a very big difference.
If you think that your day is just okay…well, you’ll feel just okay. Let’s change that, and let’s say that your day is fabulous. How will you feel? You will feel way better than before. Given that you choose the words you use, you have the power to change your emotions.
How do you feel about asking that person out? If you say you feel nervous, you will feel nervous and won’t be self-confident enough to ask him/her out. Instead, try to describe that feeling as excitement and you’ll ask him/her out right away.
7Remember past successes
So many people think that they can’t do anything remarkable. But that is so untrue!
Here’s a game. Write the 10 biggest accomplishments in your life. No matter what, get to 10 accomplishments. Even if you need 1 hour – don’t worry. Every time I make a client do this exercise, he finishes after 10-15 minutes at maximum.
Now, after writing this list, do you still think that you can’t do anything remarkable? You already are at 10 – and probably even more.
After you graduated, or made that amazing travel, or solved that problem at work, or got an amazing partner…how easy does it sound to make that call that you were delaying? Really easy!
Remember your accomplishments often, and you’ll soon feel more confident.
And there you have it: 7 powerful habits that can make you gain a lot of self-confidence. And, of course, you don’t have to put all of these 7 into action. Actually, just pick one – the one that resonates the most with you. Put that one into action.
Once you have mastered that first habit – no less than 20 days, please – you will be free to add another one.
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8Author: Mauro D'Andrea
Mauro D'Andrea is a lifestyle designer who helps people achieve their dream lifestyle. He went from "I'm wasting my life" to "Wow, my lifestyle rocks!" and he shares his experience at Lifestyle Cheat Codes, where you can learn how to enjoy your life more.