You may be a great guy and have good intentions, but until you become the man that you know you can and should be, people won’t rush to show you more respect.
This is a subject that I know a lot about because it is something I went through myself. I went from being a man who was overlooked for promotions at work, rejected by women and ignored by friends to a man who is running his own successful business for the last nine years and yes, even the ladies have noticed 🙂 Along the way, I have learned a lot about what it takes to be more respected as a man. Here are my top 10 lessons:
1. Don’t Crumble Under Pressure
One of the things that I learned as a leader in the corporate world was that there are always times when situations become challenging and overwhelming. During those times, most people get emotional, feel stressed out, worry, panic, argue and generally crumble under the pressure. However, the true leaders and those who are the most respected by others are the ones who, no matter how much chaos is going on around them, can still say, “Okay, this is the situation and this is what we’re going to do about it” or, “Okay, this is the situation and this is what I am going to do about it.”
They remain strong, clear-headed and don’t crumble under pressure. They see a situation for what it is and work on ways to improve, correct or fix it. People naturally respect, admire and look up to those who can remain strong under pressure. So the more than you can avoid crumbling under pressure in any situation, the more respected you will be as a man.
2. Give, But Also Expect Respect in Return
Selfish men don’t win the respect of other people; most people secretly hate those who are selfish or self-centered. However, many people also dislike those who give way too generous and allow themselves be taken advantage of. You should definitely be a giving man; you should help, you should support and you should try to help others succeed and achieve, but you should also expect respect in return.
If you are offering tremendous value in a work environment, then ask for a raise or to be considered for a higher position. If you are a great friend, expect and even demand that your friends show you respect and behave nicely towards you. Expect the respect. Don’t give continuously and think that everyone will love you for it. That isn’t the way human psychology works. People respect those who assume positions of respect, while also being good to those who are showing them respect. A classic example is the parent/child relationship: If a mother and father treat their child badly and demand respect, the child will usually be unwilling to give it. However, if the mother and father treat the child well and also expect respect, the child will usually give it.
3. Love Others Without Judgment
One of the reasons why I have so many close friends these days is that I love other people without judging them. I’m able to accept people the way they are because I understand that each of us are going through our own stages of development and have our own perspectives on life based what we’ve learned, who we are and what we think the world is all about.
Some people will do or say things that you may think are silly or naïve, but really, it’s just their understanding of the world at that particular point in time. So, instead of thinking that you are smarter, better, wiser and more perfect than others, just love them without judgment. The more that you can love others without judgment, the more they will respect you as a man.
4. Have Life Purpose and Follow Through On it
Guys who sit around twiddling their thumbs, avoiding their true potential as a man out of fear and coming up with excuses as to why they can’t be successful, are not the type of guys whom most people respect and admire. Respected men are those who are clear on what they want in life and go after it with passion, determination and unrelenting drive. No matter how big their dream is they keep pushing until they make it a reality.
Your life purpose is whatever you decide it is. However, what will make you more respected as a man is not simply having a life purpose, but following through on it. In other words, not giving up, not crumbling under pressure and instead staying strong and climbing the necessary obstacles on your way to achieving it. If you don’t know what your purpose is, think about what you really want to do in life and what you most care about more than anything else, then head in that direction.
5. Be a Man of Your Word
Men who lie, exaggerate, cheat, steal or frequently go back on what they’ve promised, are not the type of guys who are respected by others. The most respected men are those who say what they mean instead of exaggerating, lying or pretending to like someone or something when they really don’t. Respected men promise what they can deliver and they then stick to that no matter what.
As a man, the more you stick by what you promise, the more respected you will be. Being a man of your word means that you also need to be a considered man. In other words, think about what you are promising to others before you actually commit to it. Only commit to what you know that you can deliver and if you can’t deliver on what is being asked of you, say that right away. You will be respected for your honesty.
6. Always Be Yourself
Most people can sense when someone is putting on an act, pretending to like them or to be sincere. Your true self is always coming through via your body language, words, behavior and vibe, so there is no point putting on a fake persona around people. The secret is to get along with people on their level of thinking, while still being yourself at all times. Think about the men who you respect most in life. These men will likely be those who stick to who they are as a man, while also relating to you on your level by discussing what you are interested in life and letting you express what you see as important. They don’t suddenly change their personality to suit you, but they do welcome your personality and allow you to be your real self around them.
7. Maintain Control of Your Emotions
Losing control of your emotions is one of the fastest ways of losing the respect of others. A real man is one who feels the emotion of a situation, but maintains control of his emotions. As a man, if a situation annoys or angers you, it is fine to feel annoyed by it, but it isn’t fine to lose control of your emotions and become irrational. You can do that if you want, but other people won’t respect you. The men who are the most respected are those who feel the emotion of a situation, but retain control of their emotions.
8. Be Someone That People Can Look Up to
Do you look up to guys who lie and don’t stick to their word, who hide from their true potential as a man and make excuses for their lack of success? Probably not! On the other hand, do you look up to men who work hard at achieving their life purpose, love others without judgment, stick by their word and maintain control of their emotions under pressure? These are the sorts of strong men that almost everyone respects and looks up to.
The more of a man that you become, the more that people will naturally begin to look up to you. You will be someone that people can lean on, a pillar of strength in this world. You will be someone who can be relied on to be yourself all the time, to say what you really feel and mean and to do what is right. If you take a moment to imagine some of the real men you’ve met in your life who behave in that way, you will notice that they are the men you’ve respected and looked up to the most.
9. Take the Lead in Situations
Taking the lead in situations doesn’t mean that you always have to be the leader or that you always have to be the alpha male. However, the more that you take the lead and the more you take on the role of the alpha male in situations, the more that people will naturally respect you as a man. Being an alpha male doesn’t mean bossing people around, being demanding or rude; it just means being the one who is responsible for leading the way to achieve whatever it is you and the other people are attempting to achieve.
Being a leader is a lot easier than most people assume. It is mostly about empowering individuals and getting people to work together to achieve common goals. It’s not about you doing all the work. As a leader, you are simply the one who focuses on making sure that each person is a successful, productive and happy member of the team or group, while also ensuring that you work hard and lead by example at all times. The more often you take on the lead in everyday life or in work environments, the more natural and automatic it will become for you over time. Eventually, you will get to a point where people see you as a natural leader and you automatically assume the leadership position in all areas of your life. The more of a leader you become, the more respected you will be as a man.
10. Take Full Responsibility For Your Own Success or Failure
Guys who are the least respected in life are those who whine, complain and unnecessarily behave like a victim in life. They blame the government, their boss at work, their competitors in business and everyone else for their lack of success. On the other hand, men who are the most respected in life are those who take full responsibility for their own success or failure. They realize that success isn’t handed out on a silver platter and they’re probably going to have to work really hard for a long time to achieve what they really want to in life. They don’t look to find excuses or a way out from trying to be successful; they search for the way to be successful and then follow through on that until they achieve it.
Getting the Respect You Deserve
Being more respected as a man really comes down to you becoming and being even more of a man than you are right now. Which of the 10 points above are your strengths and which ones are your weaknesses? Focus on strengthening any weak areas and you will see that people begin showing you more respect as a man.
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Author: Dan Bacon
Dan Bacon is the founder of The Modern Man, a website that helps men become and be the type of man that women want to be with and never want to leave.
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#10 is huge. You can see that when looking at the steroid issue in baseball. Those that deny, deny, deny, even when there is a smoking gun are looked down upon by others. But those that admit it, acknowledge they made a mistake and apologize are much more quickly accepted once again. The truth hurts at times, but it's better to be honest and speak the truth than to try to live a life of lies.
I think the way 6 is good: Always be yourself
Meh, I'm perfect already.